It’s beyond passé to say that social networking is all the rage, and in fact I’ve written about it before (Does the Cutting Edge of Social Media Really Pay?). Things like Facebook, Twitter, and other on-line platforms really *can* help your business.
You either already know this and are engaged with it and wondering “Huh? When is this going to benefit my business?” Or you’ve been avoiding it, overwhelmed by the thought of all that online flim-flam mushy-mush.
Actually, I’ve come to see a different side of things. I see the technology of the internet actually as a response to a deep need in the heart of humanity. No, the technology won’t save us, but if you understand the deeper yearning, it helps to navigate it.
For the understanding, you need a little history.
Meet Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg Bí Sheng
You might think it odd to find yourself in Germany holding a bible. It’s even odder because it’s the year 1439 and you’re holding the first book ever printed using movable type. No longer will books need to be hand-copied, and we’ve started on the long-road to the million-copy bestseller.
When Herr Gutenberg invented popularized the printing press in Europe, broadcast media was born. For the first time in history, that I’m aware of, authors, rulers, and other influential people could put out a message to substantial numbers of people without actually needing to be there.
(Note: special thanks to Cairril Mills for updating my historical knowledge and setting the record straight. A Chinese engineer named Bí Sheng apparently invented movable type in the 1040s ad, and it spread to Korea and elsewhere, before Johannes Gutenberg popularized it in Europe.)
The following centuries saw more and more of this one-way communication, which culminated in the twentieth century with newspapers, moving pictures, radio, and television. During that time, we also saw the slow breakdown of the chords of connection–people playing musical instruments, dancing and singing, telling stories for each other, or just hanging out together. Instead, even when in groups, our attention was no longer on each other, but toward the big screen.
And around the globe, hundreds of millions of people still yearned to connect.
Enter the Internet and the Demise of Celebrity Phobia
The genius of the internet is that it takes the broadcast, one-way technology and puts it to use in two-way, person-to-person communications. The problem is, unless you came of age after 1999, the broadcast mentality is what you grew up with.
And the broadcast mentality includes “celebrity-phobia” where it seems scary or imposing to approach not just a stranger, but a famous stranger. After all, there is just one of them, and there are millions of us. They’re so big, how do I dare approach them?
Luckily, because of the shift back toward interactive communication this phobia is falling away, which opens you up to the real juice behind social networking.
The Real Juice of Twitter, Facebook and other social media
The complaint I hear most often about online networking, aside from shear technological overwhelm, is that it feels so distancing, and that it’s not as nourishing as live human contact.
Well, yes. Exactly. It’s not supposed to be.
Please don’t think that something like Twitter is meant to replace human contact. It’s only supposed to open the door to real, live human contact.
Let’s say you “meet” someone on Twitter, and you pass comments back and forth. They read an article of yours, you read their blog, and you both find you have a mutual liking. If you let it stop there, as many people do, then great, you’ve made a virtual friend of sorts.
However, if you take the next step and maybe pick up the phone and talk to them? Real, live human contact. From there, real friendships and business relationships can arise that you would never find staying only online.
The same thing happens with in-person networking. You meet someone at a meeting, or a party, or wherever, and you talk to them for ten minutes and exchange cards. If you don’t follow up and have a more in-depth conversation with the people that you connect with, you miss the juice of building a network of caring relationships.
Keys to Online Juice
- Stay True to An Authentic Intention
Don’t get caught up just trying to “get people,” which is a risk with offline networking, too. Instead, find your authentic intention for wanting to connect.
Are you wanting to celebrate a success? Moan about a problem? Curious about something? Get help with something? Share your heart, as you might with a roomful of people you like, but may not know that well yet.
- Be Generous
Share resources not just from your business, but from other people. If you come across an article, video, or link that you liked, put it out there for people to share in. Even if it’s from someone in your field.
Drop the competition thing and be generous. The generosity is not only good karmically, it also works on a practical level as people may come to know you as a good go-to resource, which means people are listening to what you say. And that comes because you are listening to what others are saying.
- Look for people you like, and reach out to them.
If someone is making comments you like, respond to them. Be playful, or solemn, or profound, or witty, or whatever–but respond. For instance, on Twitter, I don’t follow everyone who follows me. But I do follow people who respond to me.
As you have a few exchanges with someone, it may come time to actually reach out, with a personal email, or a phone call. And you know what, sometimes you’re in the same city–it happens, believe me–and you can actually meet up for tea. Crazy, but true.
If we were all to retreat to having only online interactions, the world would be in very poor health indeed. However, if you take the connections you make through online networking and deepen some of them into real relationships, you can end up nourishing both your business and your own heart.
13 Responses
As always Mark, you go right to the heart of the matter!
I am always amazed at what a kind word, a funny, or some sharing can do with a perfect stranger.
We are spiritual beings having the human experience. We come from a place where connection is the norm to a place where we are in separate bodies… no wonder we hunger for the connection.
Thanks for sharing.
Laurie
Great post, Mark. I still find such resistance to social media in real life. I realized it what other people think about social media matters less than my own thoughts. I thrive on connection and think social media has broken down a lot of barriers. It gives us the push we sometimes need to be, and remain, authentic.
Suze
@Laurie- You are so welcome- it is amazing what’s possible, isn’t it? I’m grateful for the relationships that have begun online.
@Suze- I know, I can become resistant too- I write these things to help me comprehend the larger movements in my heart and in the world. Glad you liked it!
Hi Mark,
I really enjoy your newsletters. Just wanted to point out an obscure error in the one above. Johannes Gutenburg did not invent movable type; movable type was invented in the 1040s by a Chinese engineer name B
@Cairi- Oh my God- I had a niggling thought (that I didn’t research or know how to research) as I was writing this, and now it’s confirmed. Thank you so much for correcting the record! I’ll fix the blog post.
I tend to try to connect with people that are different from me. At times this blows up in my face. My theory was that I could learn more from dissimilar people. Yes, it’s harder to connect. So I switched direciton and I’m trying to connect with people more similar to me. I know it’s these people that want to help me and I’m more willing to help them.
That’s why I’m commenting on this site. I love the idea of business from the heart. When you truly believe in what you are doing, you will succeed.
Karl Staib – Work Happy Now
Great post.
Random history thought, prompted by your context… You might enjoy the book Vermeer’s Hat. It looks at the 15th and 16th century connections between China and Europe (primarily the Netherlands) through investigation of details in Vermeer paintings.
JoVE
@Karl- Well, I’m glad you came by, and feel at home here. My experience has sometimes been similar to yours, and I’ve found it much easier to feel really connected in my tribe of people, and then reaching outside it in conscious ways to expand myself- but not to try and base my community outside my tribe.
And, it’s great to expand ourselves, eh? I love connecting with folks different from me, even if it blows up occasionally.
@JoVE- Glad you liked it. Vermeer’s Hat? I’ll have to check it out, although art history isn’t always my favorite subject. Thanks!
I’ve actually found Twitter has reduced my technological overwhelm. By limiting us to 140 characters, it helps me be more concise, more to the essence. I’ll drop someone a message rather than feeling the need to write a long flowery email. Then I can get off the computer quicker and into the world of sunshine, smiles and hugs.
I’m also aware of the revolution happening with Web 2.0; it’s helping us shift from passive recipients of broadcasts to active participatory members of a global democracy. Now THAT’S cool.
With love, Corrina
Corrina Gordon-Barnes
Thanks Mark, for your continued exploration on this topic; looking from alternate directions. I find it most helpful. Just finished listening (bit later I admit) to the interview about Twitter and blogging from the Heart of Business workshop. I greatly enjoyed them both. I have a question to put out there, get your (and anyone else who’d care to play) input.
I have visibility on FB, Twitter and LinkedIn, all in my own name. I heard that it is better to create community and conversation using a business name. I notice you’ve combined both. What are your thoughts on this? Anyone else? What do you notice? Name? Business name? Separate personal and business with groups and lists? I love to hear what your thoughts are from your perspective and experience; staying true to one’s self, heart, openness, coupled with effectiveness (what works).
Deborah
Hey there Deborah,
I only combined my biz name and regular name on Twitter because someone already had “MarkSilver.” Bummer.
I think it depends on your business- but in general for social media I think it’s better to show up as a real person and not as a “business.” If it’s all about relationships, people want to see you and know who you are.
Besides, most self-employed folks have business names that don’t really stand out, and people don’t remember the name, they just remember the person. “Oh yeah, what Deborah does.”
That’s my two cents. I’m wondering what others will think. Because this post has been around for awhile, I’m not anticipating a lot of other people stumbling across your topic to answer. You may want to go directly to Facebook or Twitter and ask for people’s opinions.
Thanks, I like that feedback and it resonates with me. I will be interested about what others have to say and I believe I will continue to ask around. But I was wondering what your experience had been. BTW, wondering if you’d come across “Ping” to update all your social sites at once and what your opinion is of that. It’ll be fun to have some discussions about these items after the first of the year with those enrolled in the year long program. Deb
I have heard of Ping, although I’m not using it. I’m definitely not the foremost expert on the technical/tool side, which is why I’m hoping to bring in some expert advice and help once we get started next year. I’m glad you’ll be in the group!