Sales pages have the difficult job of giving your reader enough information and experience about your product or service that she can make the decision, yea or nay.
And when you’re trying to do it with heart, ethically, without manipulation or hype, it becomes even harder.
The end result is that most heart-centered business owners create sales pages that don’t do their job. I’m going to talk about the two top elements you can bring more heart and presence to in your sales pages to radically increase their effectiveness.
Number One: Where Do They Arrive?
Everyone is trying to get somewhere. One person is trying to arrive at full health after years of being chronically ill. Another person is wanting to arrive in a beautiful home by excavating it from their clutter and poor color choices. A third person is wanting to arrive in the land of easy taxes, after twelve months of stuffing their receipts into a shoebox, and not recording the checks they’ve written.
Whether you’re a naturopathic doctor, a feng shui organizing expert, or a small business bookkeeper, your clients are desperately trying to arrive.
Do you describe to them where your services get them? And does it match where they are trying to go?
Instead of simply saying, “The road to healing,” you could say, “What would it be like to easily sleep a full night’s sleep, to one by one be able to stop taking your medications, and to feel a sense of strength and vitality in your body again? Could you go dancing with your partner? Could you ride your bike again? Could you hike down to the beach instead of having to sit on the bench, far from the waves?”
It’s true you shouldn’t make promises you can’t deliver, and many times healing or transformational services are conditional on what’s possible for an individual person.
But within the limits of what’s ethical, do you list out the results you are wanting for your clients? Do you describe the experience of what that would be like?
Number Two: What’s Included
Perhaps trained by the sterile packaging “AA batteries not included” on store shelves, many people just create a simple bullet list of what’s included in their offer.
Like this:
“This course includes:
- Six 90-minute classes
- Two private mentoring sessions
- A workbook
- Audio recordings of each class
- yadada yadada”
Remember, when someone is reading a page chances are they haven’t yet worked with you. Or, if they have, they forget exactly what it was like. And if they do remember, they could use being reminded exactly how good it was.
Each of those bullet points deserves a paragraph or two describing it, how it works, and ideally an image. And each of those six classes deserves it’s own section.
“When you join the course, here’s what will help you make it work:
“First, there are the six classes, each one focused on a particular topic.
“In Class One we start with digging into “what is.” Until you know “what is,” as in what’s true right now with your situation, you can’t change it. The difficulty most people face is that “what is” often brings up shame, embarrassment, overwhelm and avoidance. Fun, eh? Oy…
“So, with a tremendous amount of compassion, an easy, helpful structure, and the accountability of a group that’s all facing more or less the same situation, you get really clear on “what is.”
“Even more than that, you get a plan to change it, which will create the foundation for the following five classes, including your first two do-able action steps.
“Past participants report a feeling of excitement, lightness, and relief after the first class. Their fears about the whole process melt, and the dig into the rest of the course eagerly. Which leads you to Class Two…”
Do you see the difference? Writing out a description of the experience of each bit means that people really know what they are getting. This does two things:
1) It creates tremendous safety, so all their fears and anxieties about your offer are soothed. In this example, instead of, “Oh, I feel so ashamed! How could I ever bring this issue to a class group?” your reader learns that you get how much shame comes up, and that you have gone to special lengths to make it easy for them to work through it.
2) They taste it. Instead of just looking at the ice cream through the glass, you’ve given them a taster of what it will be like to actually eat the ice cream. This helps them know if they really want more, instead of needing to order ten gallons of something they’ve never had.
Even for something like “audio recordings” you can write a short paragraph, assuring them the recordings are available within hours after the class ends, so if they miss a class or simply want to listen to it again, they’ll have it nearly immediately. And if you do anything special with the audio, for instance if you have higher quality recordings than normal, or if you divide the audio into tracks that load into iTunes easily, so can describe it there.
Drop the idea that you are overwhelming anyone. Your potential clients are desperate to peek inside, to see what’s really going on. Give them the information they need.
Won’t That Make The Sales Page Too Long?
People debate long versus short sales pages. But that’s the wrong question. Instead, think, “complete versus incomplete.” Did you say what needed to be said? Or did you leave something incomplete, so the reader has to guess?
If they have to guess, their anxieties are going to assume the worst, and they won’t buy. So comfort them with complete sales pages.
Giving yourself the space and words to really show the depth and beauty of what you are offering is going to make it much safer for more of your best clients to purchase from you. Far from insulting them, taking the time to show the details is respectful and loving.
If done well, explaining where they will arrive, and detailing out what is included that will get them to that arrival point will make a huge difference in your effectiveness. Open your heart and get writing!
24 Responses
Mark,
I have just finished writing the copy for my website and it has stretched every brain and heart cell I have. I’m feeling a little vulnerable, but also really, really excited.
What I haven’t gotten done yet are the product pages…this post couldn’t have come at a better time! I feel so much relief … and can feel the angst I have as I prepare to craft a few offers for my clients, slowly falling away.
I can’t wait to share it with you when it launches – especially since you (via healing and guidance from Amin, and years of following your model) are directly responsible for helping me find my voice, and business heart.
Much love and thanks for your generosity!
Tasnim
Mark,
I’m in the process of gradually refining a sales page and program, and so I’ve incorporated your suggestions above into the events page.
Now to send out an email to drive some traffic, and see what happens.
Thanks for the very timely post!
Christine
Thanks Mark, this is timely. I’m redoing a friend’s website using your Heart-Centered Websites approach. The feedback from folks has been very good – they love the new words, but we’ve also had a lot of “oh but it’s too long.” “people don’t want to have to scroll down” “My marketing guy says you need to grab them in the first two sentences”
The “complete versus incomplete” thing is really helpful to counteract this type of feedback which seems to be part of the general psyche these days. (I.e. it’s got to be short, snappy, punchy, grabby, and above the fold)
complete page is always better than an incomplete one.People love to buy your product(If they are interested),after knowing about it fully.”service that she can make the decision”,you may change this as some”he ‘ may also buy the product 🙂
Overall,I may add that designing of the page is also important
Thank you. I’ve read similar advice before but the timing for this made me realize that I didn’t have the right info at the top of the sales page for the thing I’m most trying to promote right now.
I updated the page today. Here’s the new version if anyone’s interested. The main changes relate to the first point in your post.
http://jovanevery.ca/what-i-can-do-for-you/grant-support-for-canadian-academics/
Mark,
Are you a mind reader by any chance? Quite literally I was reflecting on how approach developing a sales page for a new coaching program I am launching. “What level of detail would make it a complete story for a person to follow?” “How best to illustrate the outcomes I want and have seen people have using this approach?” “What sings in my voice and harmonizes with that of my target audience?” And behold your article it appears. Thank you Universe and many thanks to you Mark.
All my best,
Deirdre
Hello Mark,
Thank you for this post – it really hits the spot on what I’m trying to think and work through at the moment.
Here in the UK, what we are allowed to say about the benefits of my field (shiatsu) is becoming increasingly restricted – we are not even allowed to use customer, testimonials for instance, that say it helped them with pain relief. So I’m trying to find ways around this. Fun!!
I love your stuff, it really helps me to come to terms with this marketing stuff.
Best wishes,
Ettaline
How did you know I’d be writing my sales page this week? You clever person, you. I just took a bunch of notes on this, and I think I’ve got a great idea for how to write up that copy. As always, you’re a godsend.
Thank you for the beautiful succinctness (as usual) of “ask not ‘too short or too long?’, but ‘complete or incomplete?’ “.
The last 2 programs that I’ve invested in (and gotten much value from) had such complete sales pages that I harvested solid A-Hah’s from the sales page, before we even got to the paid-for part ~ big part of my “buy it” decision! It also helped that I was able to easily get to ‘the rest of who they are’ from the sales page (some common advice seems to be that the SP should be a dead end – ewww!)
Bright Blessings!
Hello,
Excellent idea of making a post on this topic, good thing! I always had a lot of questions about sales pages and never understood some things and needed help; I found everything I needed to know about sales pages in this post. Thank you very much, I hope my sales will grow, hehe.
Best regards,
Cadouri Victor
okay, back to the drawing board… as always, helpful, real, solid goodness found here! Thank you
This paragraph:
– Instead of simply saying,
i always share my posts (affiliate products) in facebook, and it really helps in sales conversion
It is always better to say enough than trying not to say anything at all. If we keep on trying to squeeze in small details for our readers, I wonder where the essence of sharing information will end up
I love the first tips you gave in this post.The examples you made really make it clear why is so important to present your product or your service like you describe it.
On a side note, I hate the really long sales pages. Sometimes you have to scroll a lot just to discover what the product price is.
This email post came at the perfect time specifically
“Each of those bullet points deserves a paragraph or two describing it, how it works, and ideally an image. And each of those six classes deserves it
Hi Mark…Complete page is more attractive than incomplete, of course…Just like in a product, as long as they are not satisfied that they know the complete details about it, they won’t buy it…
Whenever I see a very long sales page, it reminds me of someone selling those internet marketing products.
From what I’ve heard though, long sales pages actually convert better. I really should test it out.
Yeah interesting topic.
As a buyer, I hate long sales pages. They have too much information, usually not very important. And even worst the really important things you want to know are missing or you can find them at the end of the too long to read article.
I’m a fan of short sales pages, with concise information. If someone is interested in the product you sell he just wants to find out what you offer, the price and things like that.
So short sales pages for me…
Hi, Mark! This morning I’m going to take my first cut at a sales page for my new group coaching program. I still find writing sales pages to be extremely daunting. Thanks for your excellent suggestions!
Hi Mark
well, I have gotten to read this late, but as usual it is perfect timing, as I consider the elements needed in my sales page for my new programme Stairway of Success. I LOVE your emphasis, and your clarity, and the way you go for, and encourage others, to say what is really at the bottom of your heart. Thank you once again!
Hi Mark,
Is too late, better than never?
I hope so! 🙂
Can you please mention again, the name and contact details of the lady from FancyPants Design?
Thanks!
Charlie
Thanks Mark for the tips. I am working on a project here soon and have never actually written an online sales letter before. Trying to get as much good info as I can about the topic and came across your site.
You’re welcome, Ms. Party Bus.