Here’s the deal: my family and I are moving from crazy, weird and wonderful Portland to Ithaca, New York. At the end of this month. After making the decision about 4 weeks ago.
There’s a whole backstory of how my wife Holly and I have tried to move back east, closer to family and to land that feels more familiar to our bones, and is quieter than the urban places we’ve been living, for years and years. 21 years. There’s a lot I want to say.
But I find myself tender. I tried to write this about 6 different times, each time I felt like I wasn’t -really- saying what I wanted to tell you. There’s so much emotion swirling around inside me, from grief and loss of the people we love here in Portland, to the excitement of a new adventure, to the teary-happiness of what feels like going home, even though I’m from Maryland and not New York. The woods and the land feel the same, so it counts.
I’m also overfull of logistics for the move, of complicated emotions around letting go of our home of the last 13 years, of the buzz of getting rid of a LOT of stuff, joyfully. Of the kind of shock that I find I’m not really attached to Portland. People, yes. Experiences I’ve had here, yes. But Portland, I love you and appreciate you, and I’m ready to go. I can feel my heart being moved and focused on where we are going to be landing.
As people have heard the news, I’ve had some compliments on my “manifesting,” which feels odd, because I haven’t manifested anything. I’ve dreamed, I’ve prayed, I’ve waited, patiently and impatiently. And then the door opened.
Sometimes it seems like the door takes a long time to open, even when you’re sure, or reasonably sure, and then doubting yourself terribly, but inside you really know… that the door is going to open.
So you wait. I waited. We waited. Sometimes we pushed at it. Sometimes we explored things. We kept being persistent and showing up.
We also surrendered, letting go of what we thought we wanted. We let go of our timing. We let go of the demand that the door open.
The door has opened. We’re going.
If you have any worries about Heart of Business, don’t worry, beloved! The amazing team here, including Lincoln Wachtel, our Business Director, Steve Mattus, our Director of Education and the Community Manager, and our practitioners Jason Stein and Yollana Shore, and our newest member, Elliot Olson, who is doing behind the scenes admin support, have got it all in hand.
I’m asking you to share stories of waiting for the door to open, whether you are still waiting, or the door has already opened for you. I could use a heart-lift from our shared experiences! Share them on the blog, so we can all be lifted up!
Are you in the Ithaca, NY area?
If you’re in the Ithaca, NY area, or close enough to get there without too much fuss, let me know! We’ll have a Heart of Business something this summer… 🙂
With love and tenderness and excitement,
Mark
p.s. What in the heck do you actually need?
Sometimes all you know is that your business isn’t where you want it to be, and you don’t know what help you need. Or maybe you have an idea of what it needs, but what if you’re wrong?
I suggest you take us up on a Readiness Assessment. It will help you get clear on where your business is developmentally, and where help would be most useful and nourishing.
And it’s free. Click here: Readiness Assessment
If you’re curious to see the menu of our Training Programs, check out: http://heartofbusiness.com/training-programs
37 Responses
Congratulations Mark this is such beautiful news!
My move to the countryside (I am a native Londoner) failed. What made it flop so spectacularly was that my business was not set up for that move. I had to come back to London and I was devastated.
I am working to change my business so that I can work from anywhere, and I show up for that dream every day. It means I can settle in a rural location when I am ready, and live abroad for a while at some point.
Those doors haven’t opened, Mark, but in showing up for that dream I have found myself accidentally happy here in London. Happier than I have ever been here. I love my home, my city, my friends and my work. When the door opens I will walk through it, and I’ll continue to show up to create that freedom. For now though, I am grateful to be here in London.
Kay- How heart-breaking! And, I’m glad you are working on the changes you need to make so you can try it again, more successfully. And so amazing to find yourself happy in London! Woo-hoo! What a great story- thank you for sharing it.
Mark, it’s so wonderful that you recognised the opening of the door, and said yes! Doors don’t stay open forever. For 10 – 20 years I dreamed of a place by the sea where I could stay in comfort and find solace in nature. My bach (NZ term for beach cabin) was old, run down, ratty, & overwhelmed me every time I went out there, even though the location is stunning. I didn’t know whether to sell or renovate. And renovating felt too hard.
Then my son asked if his dad (my ex husband), wife & son could come & stay there for a month. My heart opened & I said yes. My ex was dying, & my son rented a place close by so the extended family could come together for the summer. It was a transformative time. Within 2 months after this event & my ex’s death (we had bought the bach together), the door opened on a huge renovation of the bach. First a painter ‘arrived’, then her brother a long-awaited carpenter, then his brilliant builder friend, This wonderful team restored the old bach with great love. I cashed in investments as they found more things to do, including landscaping, building paths & steps. The result was beyond my wildest dreams. It seemed like a lot of money at the time, but then the financial collapse happened & that money would have been lost if I’d held on to it. Wow! What a big door, and I’m still loving the transformed sanctuary that welcomes me in whenever I can escape to it.
Juliet- isn’t it amazing! I love how all of that came together for you. And the icing that you spent the money you would have lost anyway, but instead you got something really worthwhile! Woo-hoo!
Welcome,almost, to ithaca. I’ve been here for 25 years now and raised two kids and its a beautiful place to live and grow with a wonderful community of gentle spirits….and you’re moving at just the right time given the winter we’ve just had. Let me know when you’ve landed and I’d love to support you all in settling in…and my daughter is also a wonderful babysitter 🙂
Jana- thank you! So wonderful to be welcomed! I look forward to meeting you and your daughter.
Welcome to the beautiful state of New York! My husband and I live in an old 1840s Greek Revival farmhouse that we are continually renovating in the foothills of the Catskills. I used to drive frequently to Ithaca to visit my sister when she lived there. I love the town. Great place and the parks are wonderful.
So welcome to the the Northeast neck of the woods. 🙂
Paula- So wonderful! Thank you- it will be so good to be back.
Sometimes it seems like the door takes a long time to open, even when you’re sure, or reasonably sure, and then doubting yourself terribly, but inside you really know… that the door is going to open. – Thank you for this, Mark. And, go you. I came to Portland from the east coast last year, but upstate new york is my – I don’t know what to call it – home? Landscape home? My something. I grew up there, a million years ago. I feel you on that one. And, not apropos of this post – thank you for recommending Adam at Bright Coconut. My website is awesome, but even better, Adam and I have become close friends. Much love to you, sweet one.
Megan- so interesting that you just headed in the opposite direction! I hope that Portland is as good to you as it’s been to us. And yes to Adam! I haven’t talked to him in ages… so glad that was a great connection.
Wow, what big news, Mark & Holly.
I completely understand about wanting to be on land that feels closer to your bones. That’s why I’m back in western Massachusetts after ten years in California. It’s good to be back. Even the long, cold winter has felt right.
Ithaca is a bit far, but if you find yourself coming this way, I’d love to see you.
In the meantime, I wish you much gentleness with your logistics and farewells.
Marilyn- I so love western Mass. We looked at a cohousing community near Amherst years and years ago. The winter is a fine thing, and I bet our paths cross at some point.
So, so happy for you. Filled with love for you and your family fulfilling a well-discerned dream. And really enjoyed your response to “good manifesting.” It’s something you all created, and received with grace. Blessings on the messiness of it all. And enjoy the gorges!
Thank you, beloved! Ithaca is, after all, “gorges.”
Lovely post, Mark. I’m sending you lots of goodness and blessings as you manage the craziness of transition.
Thinking of doors opening – people have always told me I should write a book. I never had the gumption to write a proposal and put it together. So I surrendered. If that was what I was to do in this life, well, then it would come to me. One January a couple years ago I got to my office and there was a letter from Norton Publishing asking me if I would consider writing a book for them. The editor spent a year with me revising and shifting the idea before she presented it to the editorial board who unanimously and enthusiastically took on the project. Generally you have to submit a chapter or two, but in this process all that was bypassed. It was a magical year being tutored by one of the great editors in the field, which I didn’t know at the time. Then the odd thing was, I am in a working group developing an approach to attachment wounding and repair. We worked on a book, it all came together, I submitted it to Norton to see if they were interested — and viola. That book was accepted as well. Go figure. They’ll both be published in the same year.
The key thing for me was surrendering. As with you, letting go of timing and allowing life to come to me. There was a bunch more — some of it the subject of the two books, but suffice it to say living in the magic of life is a joyous way to live.
Good luck with your move. May it be smooth and giddy with delight.
Deirdre- wonderful to hear from you here. And wow! Two books in one year! That is magical. The surrendering is such a big deal, isn’t it? So excited for you- and thanks for the good wishes!
This is wonderful Mark. We PNW folks will miss you (I’m in Bend, so I totally get the desire to live in a non-urban setting!) but Ithaca is beautiful (I went to Ithaca College and fell in love with the town!) and this will be an incredible shift for you. Many blessings to all of you.
Carin- Yes! We will miss you in PNW! And you’ve been there, Ithaca, so you get it- thank you for the blessings!
Mark a friend forwarded your post since I’m in the middle of a big move: from southern Oregon after 20 years to fulfill a dream of owning a hotel (my husband’s) and retreat center (mine) in the Columbia Gorge (It’s called The Balch Hotel and you can see more here: Igg.me/at/balchhotel ) And it’s been a bumpy ride getting there, so I totally resonated with everything you wrote (uncanny!) including the mix of excitement and grief of leaving a place lived for so long. And yet also not feeling the connection to this land as beautiful and wild as it is. the combination of skill and patience, action and surrender inner listening, balancing grace will and logic/reason all boggle the mind. I loved my years in upstate NY and have often felt the pull to move back but again the openings were not right. who knows, maybe I’ll see you in Ithaca someday. Best travels, claire
PS I’m also good friends with Ryhana and Ryhan from way back, and Tasnim in PDX–small world!
Claire- small world indeed- and it is a comfort knowing you are traveling a similar path. I send blessings to you on The Balch Hotel- such a dream!
Mark,
14 years ago, I lost my beloved personal transformation partner, by way of suicide. 6 months after he left the physical plane, and on his birthday, his soul visited me, and called me on a life changing spiritual awakening journey.
While contemplating how to spend his birthday, I kept getting this intuition “to get in the car and go for a drive.” After much resistance, I finally got in the car, where I was lead out the Columbia Gorge to Eagle Creek, the same place he, at 18, began a 10 day coming-of-age-rite-of-passage-solo hike to Mt. Hood.
The experience — my real life hero’s journey — was life changing. In spite of the inner (and there were many), and outer obstacles (bad weather, downed trees blocking the path, etc.) that I met along the way, I managed to reach the top of the summit.
As I did, the clouds parted, a stream of sun filtered through and a beautiful rainbow connected the OR side of the Gorge to the WA side.
As I fell to my knees crying and thanking God for the miracle and power of the experience and the beauty I was witnessing, I heard this message.
“Thank yourself for having the courage to SHOW UP for it…” As I was contemplating it and taking it all in, an eagle swooned overhead as Jay said his final good-bye to me.
I’ve known since coming down off the mountain, that I would share my story (in a big way), and that the lessons I learned that day, and have been integrating into my life since, have powerful medicine for many who are suffering, feel lost or afraid to really show up for their own lives.
In many ways, I have been beating myself up for “not having it more together” so that I could get on stage and share the message, already!
However, the witnessing your faith & patience with your move back east, has brought my heart a profound transmission of love and healing. (Thank you!)
I know deep in my bones, that losing Jay — and the lesson I have been given along the way — are so incredibly valuable. And that, in His time, I WILL be on stage sharing my message and story with others.
The final stage of the Hero’s journey is:
RETURN WITH THE ELIXIR. The hero returns home or continues the journey, bearing some element of the treasure that has the power to transform the world as the hero has been transformed.
These last 14 years are not a mark of my failings or shortcomings, more so they represent me, integrating the lessons, preparing to take this healing elixer out into the world, in a fully embodied way.
I am going to miss you guys so much, but know that distance will not break the bond of friendship we have created.
Much love to you as you embark on writing the next chapter of your own hero’s journey!
Tasnim! Thank you so much for sharing that story, I did not know it at all. Amazing how we touch each other’s lives in many ways. You, your husband, your boys have been a big part of our family here, and we will miss you- and yes, I trust the bonds of friendship. I send blessings to you on your journey as well!
Dear Mark,
As always, from reading your post, my heart opens – to beauty, to Truth, to the pain and joy of change. I wish you all so many blessings on this journey: the packing, the moving, the settling in to a new place, new faces, new people, new everything (except the Oneness, which, though ever new, is also the only thing that is permanent).
Timing. What to say? I myself am in the midst of a change, wondering about timing. Just last week I had decided to retire and wondered what to do with the Reiki Center (close it, sell it, or give it to my daughter). A few days later, I got phone calls and happened to meet people who are looking for Reiki classes and treatments. What the heck is this? Have I tried so hard all these years that I drove business away – and now that I am ready to “leave,” I am relaxed enough that people want to come? Or is it really time to retire – and these requests are my internal tests? I don’t know. I feel sad that the business never went to the level I had hoped. On the other hand, I had a lovely balance of work and family; and I have taught and helped many people. Maybe that is enough, and I am simply grieving the loss of what is as well as the loss of the dream. I recognize, as you point out, the need to stay in my Heart and keep listening to the deep inner voice rather than to the chatter.
All in all, I guess I am still in the middle of the unfolding. Maybe it is a way of helping me recognize that *how* I travel this journey is more important than what I objectively end up doing (teaching, giving treatments, writing, or retiring).
May you and Holly always be connected the great Heart and trust that connection and where it leads!
With love and ever so many blessings,
Siddheshwari
Siddheshwari- what a journey you’ve been on. It’s all so tender and so miraculous. Thank you for your love and wishes, and I send you blessings on your own unfolding. Timing and discernment make magic.
I waited 5 years for my current home. I waited with the knowledge that it had to happen sometime, even while others doubted. I just knew the door would open. And it’s true, if i hadn’t grabbed this when i did, this door would have closed.
This move happened at just the right time. It feels like God had a hand in it.
Michelle- so happy for you!
Thank you for sharing your move and journey, Mark.
Your telling of it offers well-timed inspiration, as Randy and I rest (often restlessly) in a place of dreaming, praying, waiting for a Home (though we’re hoping to move in the opposite direction–from East to West).
When it comes to this, at least, surrendering and waiting for the door to open is very difficult for me–I’ve always just up and moved! But now my Home and Heart are with my partner, wherever we end up. Still, stories like yours make me believe it will happen…so thank you again. And here’s to swapping coasts!
Dana! I know how you all want to go West. I pray your wait isn’t as long as ours, and I trust that it will all open for you- especially with the progress I see you making. It’s amazing.
Mark, your story is heart-opening and inspiring. Your desire, your and Holly’s, called you forward. You are just at the beginning of seeing how right this divine timing is for you and all you will touch in your new home.
I have been in my Maine farmhouse 21 years. I feel like it may be time to move. Desire is not yet calling me to a new place, or to make a decision about moving. It is almost an opposite story to yours: will I have to be booted off? or is there a different transformation than location awaiting me. I am taking your story into my heart to give me courage for change.
I offer you an affirmation that your knowing, however long it took to unfold, is a blessing in itself.
Carla- a Maine farmhouse sounds delightful- and so wonderful to be in the same place so long. And I also hear that it may be time to move. It’s all unfolding for us all, isn’t it? There’s some grand chess game happening, and I’m curious to see where we all end up. 🙂
Welcome to the Finger Lakes, Mark! I’m located on the east side of Rochester, about a hour and a half northwest of Ithaca. When I was in grad school here in Rochester, Ithaca was one of my favorite getaway destinations. I’d love to join you for a Heart of Business gathering in the summer. It would be a much more pleasant drive than the trek I made to Toronto a few years ago (but that weekend was so worth the traffic). If Rochester calls to you for a gathering location, there’s a nice space that would seat 25-40 comfortably at the healing arts center where my office is located.
May your transition be easy and fun!
Robin- thank you! That’s lovely, and it will be delightful to connect again. And yes, so much easier than all the way to Toronto. 🙂
Wow! Welcome to the East Coast. How exciting for us that you are coming east.
My story about a similar move.
I was living in Washington DC, where I had moved from Cambridge/Somerville MA, my home of some 23 years (and a heart home).. When I bought my house in 1995 in Silver Spring, MD my deal with myself was “5 years and then I can go home” . “home” was New England north of the MA/CT line. I loved, loved that house. In 2000 my current partner entered my life and I waited to see what he would do with his life .. for three, maybe four years every night walking the dog around the block, I would ask myself “What is the trigger?” which to me meant how do I decide when is the time to do the move.
The trigger turned out to be a job I hated, I was so demoralized that the day I discovered myself reading self-help books in the bookstore, I realized I had a big problem. I hired a life coach to help me figure out how to move. The folks at the job didn’t like me either and when I got a performance review in which I was told, “You are the type of person that makes excuses for why you can’t solve problems,” I was so shocked that I realized I needed to quit. That was the trigger.
Southern Vermont happened because a friend of a friend had an apartment to rent. I took it sight unseen. My partner and I moved into a perfect space for a year and once we got to Vermont, we realized it is/was the dream all along. I bought a house a year later. We LOVE, LOVE this corner of the world.
Ithaca is not so far. I wish you good moving and heartily suggest you figure out how to leave lots of STUFF behind. I spent way too much money moving things. Just take things that give you a “spark of joy” (HT to Marie Kondo and her “the life-changing magic of tidying up”)
Annamarie- Vermont is so beautiful- and Ithaca is not so far, it’s true. So wonderful how we’re all being moved in different ways. Thank you for your wishes. And yes, we’re getting rid of a LOT of stuff. 🙂
Such a beautiful, heart-opening post Mark (as I’ve come to expect from you, whether it’s about business or a life-changing move across the country).
I was born in Ithaca and spent my summers there with my grandparents who moved to be professors at Cornell in the 1930’s. My parents still own the family home in Ithaca and we have deep roots there. It is a beautiful place.
I’ve had many doors open and some I’m still waiting on. The one that comes to mind right now has to do with living at the ocean. When I was a girl in landlocked southern Ontario, I used to dream of being able to walk to the ocean and release my sorrows to her. I moved to Vancouver in my 20’s but didn’t live right at the beach. Then I went to Los Angeles for a decade but the 13 miles to the ocean could take hours to traverse. Finally in a financial bind we decided to sell our beloved home – a decision I had been resisting for two years.
Suddenly we were free to go wherever we wanted. We moved an hour north and found a little place to rent. The beach is two houses away and I can hear the waves when the windows are open. The sand dunes are my second office and I feel so blessed. It took 37 years but when the door finally opened, it happened easily and with an incredible sense of lightness.
Wishing you easy and joy in your move.
Alana- Such a blessing- and I’m celebrating the door opening for you- and fun to have the Ithaca connection.
Such a wonderful story. So nourishing. Thank you.
Good morning, Mark,
We’ve just met and already I love you & yours here. Thank you for that very tender post. It helps *me* to feel less alone.
I have lost track of the number of people I know who experienced something similar at about the same time – including me!
Examples, include my friend, coach and business colleague, Kristin, who moved from Boulder to Portland. Our associate, Paul, who moved from California to Denver. And Lisa, who moved from… I forget where… to the mountains of Virginia. The 4 of us are involved in a business project to create a forum for doing The Work of Byron Katie online, called “The Field of Awareness.”
Oddly, all four of us moved within a month or two of each other. I know of a few others, but we just all happened to be starting a new business together.
Kristin’s door opened to go to Portland where she has a new love. Lisa’s door opened to be in the mountains. Paul’s door, I believe it was a business opportunity.
Me? Well, I pretty much said I’d never move to Santa Fe. I don’t like adobe and I don’t like the desert. But on April 4, I was visiting a very close friend here, and she repeated that she would love to find a compatible roommate to live in the city so she didn’t have to commute a 3-hour round trip from her country home here.
I instantly knew I was moving.
Where did all my objections go? I don’t know. I just knew I was moving. I was practically “told.”
20 days later, I arrived in Santa Fe, New Mexico on April 23.
What am I doing here? Well, pretty much the same things I was doing in Boulder, but with less water and less grass & trees.
What I have here feels like more support. Santa Fe is smaller than Boulder and has much more of that small town feel. I’m from Fort Worth, Texas and that’s how I’ve always described the difference between Fort Worth & Dallas. Fort Worth, as big as it is, is still a small town.
I had the idea that I might like to move to Portland – if I can deal with the rain – maybe I should say “I’ll never move to Portland?”
PlanetWaves.net is run from upstate New York. Eric Francis Coppolino. Y’all would probably have some things in common and not others. I have great respect for what he does with his astrology. He’s kind of an astrologer activist with a background as an investigative journalist. I don’t always agree with his perspective, but he is a good man. He has formed a worldwide community in his field, much as you have in yours.
Okay, long comment. That’s what I’ve got.
Much love,
Stacy