It’s not a secret that new converts are the most annoying, whether it’s a religion, a diet, or some new thing for your guitar, the full passion of the newness soon wears on anyone who doesn’t share the same level of enthusiasm. And that’s nobody.
I’m especially aware of this since my family just changed from city mice to country mice, and I’m full of passion about the change because of what I’ve discovered.
In the two weeks I’ve been in the country, I’ve had a feeling very close to what I’ve had staying at a retreat center. My nervous system just isn’t being used up by my environment. To the contrary, it’s being soothed.
Being self-employed is stressful. It just is. Meditation/prayer/grace can help you move through the stress more easily, knowing what you’re doing in business can help a lot, but there will still be stress and uncertainty.
Living in a crowded environment that is full of electronics, noise and interactions is also stressful.
Those two things together- being self-employed in an urban environment means that a certain significant amount of your nervous system’s capacity is used up. When more stress hits, a client doesn’t pay, or your website crashes, you have fewer internal resources to meet that stress.
Sunday night flash floods hit Tompkins county, trapping me and my family overnight at White Hawk Ecovillage (what amazingly open-hearted and generous people we’ve landed with)- the road was impassable until the morning. Even that stress was eased tremendously by the fact that the water flowing by in enormous quantities had a soothing quality to it. You know, like being by a river? Surrounded by green.
I’m not advocating everyone move to the country.
I am advocating that you notice and care for your nervous system. We often see nervous system soothing activities like taking a bath, having unstructured time, or going for a walk as things we can’t afford to do, especially when the business isn’t doing well yet. I say it’s critical so that your nervous system can handle, with more grace and ease, all the bumps that happen on the road in business.
What do you do to soothe your nervous system, especially if you live in an urban environment?
What *exactly* does your business need?
It can be hard to know what you need- focus on website, or focus on your audience? Focus on massive growth, or focus inward?
And it’s not just what to do… but how many priorities should you take on? You can only do so many things at a time, and yet your business to-do list runs from your nose down and out the door. Which ones can you let rest untouched for a bit? How do you prioritize?
First, stop. Take a breath. Reconnect with your heart.
Then take our Readiness Assessment. It’s free, and whether you’re in start up mode or are in more advanced stages of your business, it will help you get right to the heart of what you need.
We can help you learn where your business is developmentally and what you need to help it grow. Click here for a Readiness Assessment.
With love and appreciation,
Mark
19 Responses
Mark it sounds so soothing just hearing you even talk about how your nervous system is being soothed.
As a city dweller, in a stressful city, Ive had to learn to make soothing myself a number one priority, if I cant go out in nature I look at it. Often times colour is the most soothing for me, even visualising it.
I sure hope you dont water down (no pun intended lol) your country experience, I would never tire of reading about it. Some of us have to get the vibe vicariously.
Kate- I won’t water it down, I promise. 🙂 I get the vicarious vibe, thing. 🙂
Mark, stay enthusiastic, even evangelical about living in the country! I totally relate to what you say about the soothing of your nervous system in nature. Today I did tai chi beside the sea. Even though I’m in the city, the sea shore always soothes me & in New Zealand we are lucky that the sea is never far away, even when we are living in a city. I’m so glad for you and your family. Being close to nature will have a cumulative effect I’m sure.
Juliet- unfortunately it’s not sustainable for everyone to live out in the country, that just creates sprawl. We’re lucky enough that it’s working- but I’m glad that you have such great access to the sea- so calming!
Yup, it’s part of why I live in Vermont. When I do go to a city, I’m shocked by how noisy it is. June in the Northeast is the BEST month. That said, there’s a thing going around FB about a Zen saying to give yourself 20 minutes in nature a day, and when stressed hours. I think as a society we’re heading towards getting a better understanding of the energetic necessity of being in the natural (God’s) environment for our health.
Annamarie- Here’s to a Divine June!
Welcome to our part of the world. I live in the foothills of the Catskills and my husband and I just returned from two weeks in LA visiting family. We had a great time and a friend joked about maybe a move was in the future.
Nope. As I sit here writing, I am watching a wren flitting in and out of the nest to feed nestlings and the morning breeze dance with the leaves of maple and cherry and locust. I need this. It keeps me soothed, yes, and also grounded.
The only sounds right now are bird calls.
Yes, I am a country girl. I hope your family settles in easily. New York is a beautiful state of mind. 🙂
Paula- Oh my goodness… never LA! 🙂 And yes- it’s a wonderful return home for us. NY isn’t exactly home, but close enough to where we grew up to count.
I’m so aware of this for myself now – as a self-employed person living in London UK, in work that requires me to be present for and available to my clients and students, while nursing my high sensitivity to other people’s emotions and external energies. I used to burnout because of this raw feeling of being over exposed all the time, so I have to hold really strong boundaries now.
Leaving London will happen at some point, but one of the most important things I do for my life as it is now, is to hold really strong boundaries around online and smart phone time, and work time vs downtime. I don’t keep my phone with me all the time anymore. I don’t keep my email and social media open anymore. I try to mindfully check in with and respond to my messages in time set aside for that.
Sounds kind of silly when I say that, like it’s not a big deal, but I feel like we have become a society of constantly available people! And for me, that just can’t work, because it takes energy for someone like me (maybe everyone?) to be available. These boundaries are relatively new to my life, and I can’t tell you how much it has soothed my nervous system to do give myself that gift.
Kay! So important to hold boundaries- and saying “no!” to always available. Glad you are taking such good care of yourself… so soothing…
I think the generalization here is “environment.” The one that’s right for you. I remember my dear mother who never forgave my father for making her live in the country (not so far from you!). She only wanted to live in NYC–the stimulation and energy were right for her. I think as small business ownders we REALLY need to tend to environment–not just the occasional nervous system soothing, but regular attention to how our environment can support what our nervous system needs. I think of the transformation in hospital culture that has begin to seriously attend to issues of how our environment can support or block healing (even if that hospital is a big sity one). I’m so glad you and your family have found what’s right for you!
Leslie- thank you for the counter-example! This is exactly why I didn’t want to be an evangelist for everyone moving to the country- and paying close attention to what we need is so critical. Environments can be SO supportive… or they can undermine us.
Mark,
I’m so happy for you and your family to be in such a wonderfully soothing environment – as Juliet says, it will definitely have a cumulative effect, and I look forward to reading/hearing your updates on what you notice!
I am blissfully happy to be living in the country – I’m very noise sensitive and even visits to the city leave me drained and overwhelmed. I love being surrounded by nature – and feel soothed by it daily!
Having said that, my head can get filled with my own ‘internal chatter’, and that can be deafening sometimes! It’s still important for me to have regular ‘downtime’ – I find it soothing to lie in my hammock (it’s a Mexican hammock made of fine woven strings – very stretchy!) – I find the full body support very relaxing! 🙂
Ann- I love the idea of a hammock and regular downtime! This is my first full week really truly at work, and I just spent 6 hours inside in front of the computer and on the phone… I get what you mean. Time to get out of here! 🙂
Great post, actually am new to your blog but your postings are awesome…keep posting.
Let me in. I want in! And I’m moving in with you and your family Mark if O have to! 🙂
🙂 I hope to see you in Ithaca some time!
My husband Tyler and I just got back from a camping trip. I turn on my phone, and see an email from Mark- “Let’s all move to the country”. Haha! Divine guidance coming through again. 🙂
We were so struck by what a huge difference it made to our overall wellbeing spending prolonged time in nature… Finding the correct pace of life for our greatest well being is so important. We didn’t know just how far away from that we had gotten until we went and experienced it! A home in the country is becoming a vision for us for sure.
Maya- such synchronicity! There’s still room at White Hawk ecovillage, if you don’t mind snowy winters… 🙂