Well, the change of season here in Portland hit me with a whopper- I was down with the flu for an entire 7 days- fevered, weak, congested, the whole bit. Another seven days of slowly getting my strength back, and I’m much better now, but it was definitely an exercise in surrender.
So, this experience brought up a wealth of learning for me, and the one I’m going to focus on is the idea of problems. As Paul Hawken said in “Growing a Business” (recommended book), that all businesses have problems, and that it’s up to you as the business owner to make sure that it has interesting problems, and not boring problems.
That said, when I look at all of the things that I wanted to get done, but couldn’t, for my upcoming workshop here in Portland the end of June, and being nine days behind in my marketing efforts, I could, and did, become very upset and frustrated. Arrghh! The problem was I got sick! The problem was I didn’t get it done earlier! The problem was there’s no time… The problem was… what WAS the problem?
Most of our efforts to help our businesses along have us focusing on situations that really aren’t the problem. Was getting sick the problem? No, I couldn’t have helped it, and spending time on this “problem” is a waste. Could I have gotten things done earlier? Well, maybe, but who could foresee getting sick? I was on schedule, and my business was working fine.
I had to sit with the whole situation. And, what I found out, when I did remembrance, with someone else helping to hold the space for me, was that the problem wasn’t any of those things. The problem was that I was acting as if there was a problem. The business actually feels fine and on track. The real “problem,” was the fear that comes up for me when I think there is a problem.
Once I sat with this fear, and brought the remembrance into it, I began to feel more confident, and clear, and then some pathways opened up. I saw that I was scared to have my business open up as big as it could be, because I was afraid I would be doing it all. As I sat with that, and surrendered more deeply, the heart of my business began to feel brighter. Then, I had a number of clear action steps that came to me. And, I had some new ideas come forth. I finally had the energy to get the right things done.
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The Process
* First, the remembrance. For those unfamiliar with this, it’s merely repeating the Name of the Divine, whatever you use to call to the Highest Light, and saying it into your heart. Not with the idea of fixing anything, or healing anything, or seeing anything. It’s just remembering that there is something more than just you in the mix. If anyone has questions about the remembrance, please ask me. It’s fairly simple, but there are easy places that people sometimes get stuck.
* Identify the seeming problem that you’ve been working on, fretting on, trying get through or fix. Feel this problem. Let yourself perceive it. Let yourself feel the emotions involved with the problem- anger? fear? sadness? frustration? All of the above? Something else? Let yourself feel these emotions.
* Then, bringing the remembrance in, let yourself ask in your heart, what is the real problem? What is really going on here? It’s important to let yourself be in a place of not knowing, a willingness to be surprised, and to see something new.
* Sit with it until you feel some clarity about what the real issue or problem is. This may take one minute, 10 minutes, or 30 minutes. However long it takes, it’s less than spending hours working on the wrong problem. Maybe there isn’t a problem. Maybe there’s something else. Let yourself be with it. This is where it’s helpful, but not necessary, to have someone else sitting with you to help hold the space.
* Once the clarity comes in, accept it. Sit with the remembrance some more, and see if there is some wisdom or action steps that pop up for you around it. Write these down, and see if your heart has energy for these action steps. If they feel overwhelming, or exhausting, they may still be your mind trying to figure things out. Let those ideas go, and wait to see if you receive something that feels really right.
So, give it a shot, and let me know how it goes. And don’t be afraid to print this out, and get a friend or associate to sit with you while you do this- doing it by yourself is sometimes challenging, especially if the emotions involved create agitation, that makes it hard to sit still by yourself.
