During the last Heart of Money class someone was asking why scraping by is the norm, and it’s so hard to come by having extra money.
It came up in the context of paying yourself first. I had told them that you have to pay yourself first, into a savings account or other account, before you paid your bills.
“How in the heck can I pay myself first, when it feels like I don’t have anything left over after my expenses are paid?”
Listen to that question: it just revealed a very important Divine law. The reason there isn’t ever any extra, is because the concept of “extra” is a human idea, and doesn’t exist anywhere except in our minds.
Look around you. Is there “extra” in nature? An apple falls from the tree, never picked by anyone. Is it “extra?” Nope. Whether it’s by you or by Adam, by a worm or by microorganisms, the entirety of it will go to nourish something else. And, each of those eaters will, in turn, nourish something either through their actions, or eventually through their decomposition.
I’m not trying to be gross, it’s just true. If you want to have “extra” in your business, I suggest you forget about it. Instead, focus on how you want to serve- not just your customers, but your family, yourself, your neighbors. By coming into service, even into serving yourself, suddenly there is a reason for “extra.”
Okay, so the first step is to move your need for resources from the “someday when I have extra” column, into the “necessary resources to serve,” column. But, you aren’t done yet.
Simply using your head, or your own wishful thinking, to move a desire for a shiny black Lexus from one column to the other doesn’t make it so.
Critical ingredients in service are humility, surrender, and generosity. Most of the time when we are needing “extra” we are on the edge of, or deep into, fear and panic. Not very conducive to being generous or humble.
I’ve seen a lot of people make a lot of effort to produce material goods from sheer will power, whether that’s working 24 hours a day, or whether it’s saying 1000 affirmations a day. Either way, if your heart isn’t already in generosity and service, there is a quality of trying to bludgeon reality into changing.
Exhausting and usually ineffective. And, when it IS effective, not very satisfying.
Take a breath. Relax a little. And, bring your heart into gratitude and humility before looking at what “extras” you need. Take some time to be in relationship with your goals, and see if they truly feed your heart, or if they are things you are chasing after because you think they will “fix” something about you or about the world.
I have found, on more than one occasion, that when my wife and I have one of our weekly money meetings, the income and expenses match up, bizarrely, often within $10 of each other. And, this was true before we set aside savings and other goals, and afterwards. And, many of my clients have reported the same phenomenon.
When you find the truly nourishing desires, plan them into your necessities. You’ll find that the resources will show up to support them, either because you’ll suddenly see what needs to be done to achieve them. Or, sometimes, miracles occur. You do believe in miracles, don’t you?
Keys to Creating “Extra” Profit
• Surrender is key. Surrender in this situation means accepting what is, as much as it means letting go of your attachment to what might be in the future. If your hand is balled up inside the cookie jar, you can’t pull it out.
Take a moment right now with your business. Drop your desires to make it different than it is. Breathe into your heart, and notice what is going on with your business. What does your heart really show you about what’s happening right now? See if you can allow your heart to show the gifts that are already here in your business, and to feel genuine gratitude for what is.
• Desire is never wrong, just sometimes unfulfilling. What are you wanting that has been in your “extra” column? A new computer and software? A new desk? A big vacation? Take some time and face this thing that you are wanting. Be honest and gentle with yourself as you ask your heart to show you how fulfilling this thing really is. Be truthful.
Note: Just because something feels or doesn’t feel fulfilling right now, doesn’t mean it will stay that way. You might be longing for a new computer, and then realize that you heart shows you that it’s not a true necessity in the moment, but that if you check in again in a couple of months, the timing might be right.
• Be an adult with your desires. Being an adult means that you can have an extra cookie after dinner, or before breakfast, if you want. But being an adult also means that you can be aware of the consequences of your choices. Sometimes goals come in miraculously. Sometimes they take meticulous planning and discipline.
What is your business teaching you about your desires? Is your heart asking you to learn to trust in the miraculous a little more? Or is it asking you to come into the next level of responsibility by bringing in some compassionate, graceful discipline in working towards your goals.
There is no cookie-cutter here, you have to take the time to listen to your heart to get true answers. But if you do, you still get the delicious cookies, even if they are free-form.
8 Responses
I love this. About a year ago I shifted my attitude to money because I had a “having no money is good” attitude.
I shifted all my priorities around at a time of profound poverty and discovered that all the things I truly loved and needed were mine for free, and couldn’t be taken away.
I have so little stuff, so little need, now. I’ve spent my money on freedom. That, to me, was a worthwhile expenditure!
Joely Black (@TheCharmQuark on Twitter)
@Joely- What a healthy choice! I’m so glad to hear about your shift. What helped you make that shift around your priorities? Anything particularly hard to let go of?
Thanks for posting this, Mark. It’s percolating in my brain (and perhaps my soul) now, and I have a feeling that whatever drips out will be very yummy.
Pace
In reading this..I just got an *ah-ha!* – Now I understand what the heck I’ve been doing to myself moment. 🙂
I’ll elaborate a little bit of what came into my head…
(what I was going to write on Twitter when you asked)
I was paying more attention to the *hard facts* of $ and having *bill-panic*..instead of paying attention to what was really needed to grow.
Don’t know if that makes sense to the rest of the world…:)
@Amy – Thanks for explaining the Aha! Yes, I get it. I really do.
You are absolutely right about the concept of “extra” being human. In my ecology classes when we talked about nature producing lots of procreative elements of various sorts – fruit, eggs, sperm, seeds, spores, etc., there was a human assumption of excess or “extra” because it seemed like a LOT – overkill even. But since nature doesn’t actually KNOW how many of these procreative elements are actually going to survive to reproduce another generation (oftentimes <1%), it is not actually excess or extra. It's just "insurance" that some make it through.
I love your idea of moving desires to the "necessities to serve column"! Apparently money budgeting works just like time budgeting. When you budget 3 hours to get something done, it's often just how long it will take 🙂
Blessings,
Keena
Keena- so true about the time thing. Although it’s also true that sometimes you just need time to do something, and maybe three hours isn’t enough- because getting something done often takes more than just being productive.