Two weeks ago, a month ago, year ago, if I’d woken full of restive thoughts at 4:30 a.m., I likely would’ve headed for my computer to check my email, spin off on the 50 things I wanted to get done during the day, and begun ticking off inconsequential tasks. An hour would pass, and I’d find my shoulders hunched around my neck and my face scrunched up around my eyebrows, because it was too much trouble to find my glasses on the way to the computer.
That would just be the beginning of my self-employed day. . . How heavy it can get when you, alone, carry the burden of your business on two shoulders, yours? How big are your shoulders?
At a measly 5’5″, 125 lbs., I’ve scrambled, clawed, and grunted my way through three service-oriented businesses, not to mention life in general.
If you’re the type of person, the type of business owner, who regularly carries four bags in two hands, a box under one arm, clamps loose papers between the fingers of one hand and car keys in the fingers of your other, and still manages to get the front door unlocked without dropping anything–we need to talk.
You Mean I Have to Take Care of Myself On Top of Everything Else?
You know, they call me the infrastructure queen here at Heart of Business, and I have to laugh. In all my earnestness in setting up structures to help our business sustain itself and grow, I’ve been forced to face the lack of support I’ve built within my self. It’s been what you might call a Divine arm twist behind back. The kind that makes you gasp, “Uncle.”
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve exercised, eaten obsessively well, avoided alcohol, caffeine, refined sugar, wheat . . . for years. I’ve meditated off and on since I was 18 years old, read oodles of spiritual and self-help books, chanted, yoga’d, and communed with nature intimately.
Yet ironically, it was as a self-employed massage therapist many years ago–meditating between each client and being surrounded by peaceful music, candles, incense, and transformation daily–that my internal infrastructure, what of it I’d managed to prop up alone, took its greatest tumble.
Exhausted from holding all the bags, at 29 years old, I began having nightmares, feeling anxious and depressed, experiencing palpitations that led to terrifying bouts of tachycardia. And it got worse before it got better.
I know many ways to take care of myself; I’ve actively practiced many of them. But in my experience, they don’t hold you up if they’re not anchored in a sturdy, yet dynamic, structure, something far greater than my self.
Something’s Got to Give
In your business, you can be plugging info into Quickbooks, creating elaborate folder systems set up for your emails and files, generating new information on your website and blog, attracting clients, and getting by financially . . .
But if you don’t have a clear strategy and system that ties each of these efforts together, a structure greater than the sum of parts, you’ll be the one continuing to hold the weight of those efforts.
You will continue to be the infrastructure holding your business together. You’ll be the one continuing to hold the bags, the one mustering the energy and strength to keep them off the ground. And we both know, the longer you hold those bags, the heavier they get.
If you are holding your personal bags as well . . . well . . . the bough breaks.
Getting to the Source of Well-Being
But if you don’t know deep in your soul, in that place that knows you’re only responsible for opening and receiving the Divine energy of life and sharing it, you’ll continue to feel like you’re holding all the weight of maintaining of your well-being.
No matter how many tools you’ve piled up in your “please take care of yourself box,” you’ll still be using them as if you’re responsible for making them work and having them work for you. Wow, that’s straddling the line, huh?
If you don’t know on what or where to set your personal bags, it’s unlikely you’ll find an easy spot to rest your business bags.
As you might benefit from asking why you’re changing internet servers for the third time this year, or why you’re still ignoring your financial books for another month, or why you’ve to stayed up all night to meet a project deadline again, you will benefit from asking why about your personal well-being.
The Ultimate Infrastructure
How often it turns out that what you believe you want is not what you are actually longing for. So what shows up can often be deceiving in its importance.
All my adult life I’ve longed for someone to show up who I could share work with that is meaningful, purposeful, and creative. Working with a master Sufi teacher and successful entrepreneur who teaches heart-centered business and marketing methods, was not what I had been envisioning, but there we were. Mark doin’ his thing and needing some help, struggling in my freelance business needing supplemental cash.
Nope, he wasn’t that someone I had always been looking for exactly. And he’s exactly the turning point catalyst for finding the working relationship I’ve really been after. Inconspicuously, as I’ve toiled at reinforcing Heart of Business’ infrastructure, a business founded on spiritual practice and guidance, I’ve been being led internally to tend to my own lacking infrastructure.
How about you? Consider striving to incorporate self-caring and nurturing into your daily life. Owner your own business is demanding enough when you are replenishing yourself regularly. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.
- Eat whole, natural foods.
- Drink purified water all day–keep a full quart jar on your desk.
- Sleep eight hours a night.
- Get out and exercise, breath fresh air deeply and often.
- Play.
- Share your feelings, thoughts, and experiences with those you trust and love.
- Revel in beauty and practice gratitude.
- Avoid things, people, and places that threaten or harm your well-being.
- Dare to explore your inner world, especially the wounded nooks and crannies that can mislead you.
- Sit peacefully and remember your Source, fill up often and give it away.
But . . . Don’t forget to rest it all in the ultimate infrastructure–Divine Source. Your shoulders will thank you, as will your longings.
Only then walk into your office and do the same there. I’ll be right behind you, beginning again each time I falter. Remember infrastructures are dynamic. They expand, contract, transform with growth. In their purity they are messy at times. And if embraced, they certainly hold you in life and business.
