On the verge of facing another day of urgent deadlines and unending tasks, I came across a newspaper article reporting that David Kellerman, Freddie Mac’s recently promoted CFO, was found dead in his basement. He apparently hung himself.
A colleague of his was quoted as saying, “‘He was just a nice guy. . . . You cannot imagine what kind of pressures he must have been under.'” And I wonder what makes some of us think our work, our careers, or our businesses are so important that we would rather kill ourselves than admit failure or defeat, or simply seek help.
Obviously that’s an extreme situation, but I think of the kinds of torture I’ve inflicted on myself around urgency to work more, please clients, take care of employers, succeed financially and creatively all at the same time with little space in between . . .
Running on Urgency
At Heart of Business, we’ve put a lot of energy into growing the business beyond Mark Silver the solopreneur Sufi marketing genius. To make progress, we’ve needed to develop and implement several systems and structures just to achieve effective internal communication and information organization. We’ve also been deeply involved in increasing our reach, refining our goals, and developing products and classes.
There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I haven’t felt like there were dozens more projects and tasks needing my attention than I’ve had time to get to. It can be so painful for me to end my work day, each day, not making what I think is a significant dent in my everything-would-be-so-much-better-so-much-closer-to-our-goals-if megalist.
My urgent overwhelm has, in part, been driven by how really good we are here at having inspired, adrenaline-pumping idea meetings. There are so many great product and marketing ideas around here that they’re busting down the doors. This, not enough people power, and my addiction to a sense of urgency has been a perfect recipe for generating unrelenting internal pressure to do more than I can do.
An Alternative to Death by Urgency
Whether you have too many ideas to manage, overbearing admin tasks, or unforgiving deadlines constantly outpacing you, family needs, the urgency or pressure you feel about them is a state of mind. The “too manys,” the “unforgivings,” the “outpacings,” the “others needs” is as much about orientation and perception as it is about outer situations.
What if you came to those same ideas, tasks, and project deadlines without urgency?
If you think about it, the things you want to get done or have agreed to get done are nothing but things to be done. The time or way they are accomplished is up to you. How you do them and in what state of mind is yours to make of what you will. Of course, every action has a consequence, but ability to understand and accept those consequences governs how urgent or not they feel inside.
I can’t fathom the level of pressure David Kellerman experienced in his position, but I do know that choosing death was not the only option for relieving it. His choice illustrates how difficult it can become, when we function in a constant state of urgency, to follow the unfettered and loving guidance of the Divine that can comes through our heart’s intelligence.
It’s a blessing how quickly urgency can be deflated when you remember to follow your heart’s guidance, to trust that voice. Deep ease comes when you surrender to your heart, to Divine direction and support, rather than the urgency of small-minded, task-oriented fears of success and failure.
Giving Up Your Urgency Obsession
Either way you spin it–whether you rev up into a super achieving self-combustable or roll up into a paralyzed avoidance heap under stress–running your business and life in a state of urgency can deprive you of creative space, celebration, and enjoyment of each moment that takes your time.
What if you knew everything would get accomplished in the time needed without feeling urgent?
Okay, I’m not going to remind you to stop trying to pick up your phone with your pants bunched up around your ankles because you’d been sitting on the toilet when it started ringing. And I’m not going to tell you to check your email only twice a day. Blah, blah, blah. But I will offer a couple of things you may not have considered.
When you find yourself beginning to get tense inside about what you need to get done or don’t want to do, stop.
- Put it in writing. If you’re a journaling type, pick up your journal and write about the tension until it eases. Then let your heart write to you about how you can return to your work in love, faith, and acceptance.
- Run Away. Go outside, or to a space away from your business and sit in Remembrance. Ask in your heart to receive what you need to accept your pace, your rhythm, to have faith in your process and progress.
- “You there, step slowly away from the ledge.” Find someone who knows how to talk you off the ledge. I can’t tell you how many times Mark and I have pulled out the bull horn and yelled, “Easy now, step back slowly from the edge. Let me give you a hand.” This needs to be someone who knows something about surrender.
Embracing urgency does nothing but knock you off track and exhaust you. It encourages you to participate in a race with no finish line. Get to know the feeling well and contrast it with the calm that comes with surrendering. You will accomplish more with grater satisfaction and enjoyment when you abandon urgency for the peaceful certainty of your heart’s wisdom.
