Today, Friday October 29, is the final day in a two-week “push.”
I recently watched a very moving video of Scott Stratten‘s talk “Keep Going Until We Stop.” It’s very moving and a fantastic commentary on what in the heck is so painful about our culture. You can see the video here:
His talk touched me deeply. At one point I had uncomfortable flashbacks from my job as a paramedic, but that’s okay, I’ll send Scott the PTSD therapy bill. 😉
I was speaking with a friend and colleague a few weeks ago who had been working for several months at a very intense pace. I asked him if it was worth it, even though he was hitting his numbers. “No, Mark. It’s not.”
And this is someone very conscious, very grounded, someone I respect highly.
The Problem Is Not the Push
Pushing, times of high activity and doing a lot, is a natural part of the cycle. Harvest time means up early and up late bringing in the crops. Raising a barn means hard work for a few days for a whole crew of people.
Launching a new product or class, generating needed cash, meeting a deadline means a push.
What you need to do is not avoid pushes, but be conscious about how you’re pushing. You don’t just want to push constantly and unconsciously, the way Scott described his life. Define the push.
Then, go into the push consciously, asking for support from the people around you. Three weeks ago I told my wife Holly, “Sweetie, these next two weeks, and especially next week, is going to be a push. Can you watch the kids in the morning next week so I can have my precious morning creative time?”
I also asked to sleep alone for four nights this week, since we usually co-sleep the kids–all four of us in the family bed (very toasty and sweet as we go into winter). That way, when I get up early, I don’t accidentally wake one of the pot-banging wind-up toys my sweet sons, so the three of them can sleep in and have a better day.
And then I’ll make up for the push with some extra childcare over the next few weeks. And I still quit in the evenings for family dinner time.
Defining Your Push
Ask yourself these questions:
- What Does a Push Look like? (For Heart of Business, a push consists of 10-15 additional hours per week.)
- How Long Does a Push Last? (We limit our pushes to two weeks at the most.)
- How Many Pushes In A Year? (No more than three.)
Once you have defined your pushes, spend them carefully. Choose which projects are really worth pushing for.
What’s your answer to these three questions?
31 Responses
Mark, thanks for this! I still really admire your ability to say, mid-push, “And now it’s time for dinner!” So much is about living out our priorities and our values–spiritual choices in a secular world.
Thanks, Leela. I wouldn’t miss dinner with my family except in some extreme emergency. And, as a former paramedic, “extreme emergency” means more than just needing to get some copy written. 🙂
“Sometimes we have to disconnect.”
Wow, that was way too powerful of a video for me to watch right now. A real tear-jerker with a great moral. If we can’t stop and appreciate what we have now then we will never know what we are heading towards…
I know, Steven- Scott really put it all out there, didn’t he? Love that guy.
Yes, yes, yes.
Sprints can be wonderful (and productive) as long as we can remember that there’s no such thing as a 26-mile sprint.
26 mile sprint. As a former high school cross country runner all I can say is… oy…
Also great to see Scott (who I admire & like very much) getting this idea around. He was sort of a poster child for the old crazy way, so I love seeing him sharing his breakthroughs with us.
I love Scott, too, Sonia- and it’s fantastic seeing him making this bridge. I had to make the same bridge. I think anyone who grows up in this culture has to cross over from the dark side sooner or later.
This came at the perfect time :))
I have been “pushing” so hard with a rebranding project and enough already…. Thank you for reminding me pushing indefinitely only leads to burnout and a loss of joy in what I do.
I’m taking a day off!
I so love perfect timing- and glad, Karen, that this post helped you to ease off on yourself. Day off! Hoorah!
Great post Mark. I was also moved by Scott’s video. It made me realize how easy it is for us to dive into a “push” to get something done, but never let off the gas and consciously slow down afterward.
Thanks, Logan. it is so easy for the push to become the norm.
I’ve heard of Scott before. I never stopped to follow him closely though. I was busy going with my own stuff. I’m glad I stopped today to listen. I now see a person I previously didn’t.
Thank you for that.
Shane
You know, Shane, some people are famous, or even just “internet famous” for relatively silly things. But Scott isn’t one of those. I’ve been impressed with him time and again.
@Mark, and the most ironic part of it all is, I followed him on twitter. But, realistically, I wasn’t following him.
Shane- I definitely like Scott. Glad I could bring him to your attention to him.
This is incredible. Everytime the seasons change, I take that as a cue to look at whether I am taking time out to relax, refresh & renew. Thankfully Scott learned this now, before something (else) big happened. It’s worth thinking about…
Hi Brandie- I love that quarterly, seasonal reminder. And yes, I’m grateful Scott made it through that intersection, too.
A truly remarkable message! This post has come at a time in my life when I realized that I need to take a break and re-prioritize what’s important to me and also appreciate what I’m doing and where I want to be.
Hi Eddie- so glad it landed. We all need this and need this and need this… As one of my teachers says, “It’s not ‘how do I remember?’ It’s ‘am I remembering?'”
Hi Mark,
I just found your site today from Scott’s RT. I’m glad I did.
I saw Scott’s video last week and teared up, all the while thinking, “I’m so glad I don’t feel the need to go, go, go.” But after reading this post, I do kinda feel like I’ve been in push mode for months.
You’re so right! At some point, it isn’t really a push anymore…it’s a lifestyle. A dead end street. I’m going to take heed and shift some time this week to do some serious strategic planning. Sure, I’ve got a lot to get done, but I know I need to get out of push-lifestyle mode and enjoy being home with my family!
Thanks so much for the wake up call! XOXO ~ Laura
Laura! I’m so glad my post brought this to consciousness. We all need each other so desperately, simply to help one another wake up. Thanks for letting me pay back a small piece of what others have given me.
lovely, thank you
Kelly- you are so welcome.
Muscle grows NOT when you’re training, but when you’re resting. Just sayin’…
I remember that from some deep corner of my brain, Andrea- thanks for reminding me of that.
Hey Mark,
Salient point about “doing what society wants you to do rather than what you want to do, to the point where you miss your entire life.”
I don’t have a Blackberry. I savor my life. I go slow when I need to. I stop and look at flowers close up. I’ve never texted on a cell phone.
We are all galloping to the ends of our lives, when it goes by quickly enough on its own.
Cherish the life! Make your own definition of a successful adventure.
Thanks for posting this. Giulietta
Amen, Giulietta. We are galloping. I know that the last forty-two years feels more like four hours from the “after” perspective.
inspirational video, great mark
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