A friend of mine admitted that there was a tipping point she passed in terms of blog readership, where suddenly it exploded. She said there wasn’t anything she did, it’s just that once she had a certain large number of readers, everyone else wanted in.
We see this dynamic play out again and again. As soon as a book hits even the lower realms of a bestseller list, it tends to sell more and more. Popular people become even more popular. The iPod rose to dominance on a wave of style, where suddenly it was “cool” and everyone had one. So then everyone else had one.
As a solo business owner, this is a big problem for you. Not because other people are competing with you for popularity. But because what makes you special, unique, and is your biggest stake in the game of success is at risk in this dynamic.
I’m talking about your sovereignty. When your sovereignty is compromised, so is your ability to make decisions that are authentic to you and your heart. So is the strength of self it takes to not just go with the herd, to strike out in a unique direction that will attract attention, because that’s who you truly are.
Yet it happens every day to all of us. You lose a sense of who you are. You subtly self-edit yourself. You maybe have no clue at all what you want in a situation, so just go with the flow… and suddenly find yourself buying an iPod, starting a membership site, or doing something else that the herd is doing.
There are a lot of people out there encouraging you to live your authentic truth, and I think it’s a great idea. The problem is there’s this little spiritual truth about human beings that makes it very difficult to do just that.
Sovereignty Is Not Really a Human Ability
Here’s the straight, unvarnished spiritual truth about the human heart: it’s made to serve. The human heart is happiest when it’s in service.
There’s been a lot of talk about servant leadership, and this is a beautiful thing. Yet, there is a fundamental tension between leading, which involves setting the course, and serving, paying attention to what others need and want.
When the human heart serves, it fills itself with who or what it’s serving, which may not leave much room for you and your sovereignty.
Time to Get All Old Testament On You
You know the ten commandments? Yes, those ten commandments. The first one, the very top of the list, is “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.” In Sufism we say, “La ilaha illa’llah,” which translates to: “No! There is nothing but the One Source.”
Modern day freedom-loving interpretations rail against this picture of a “jealous” God, and in doing so they miss the deeper truth that mystics from all ages have always known.
Whatever the heart witnesses, it fills with. It’s simply not possible to have a divided heart. However, what the heart can do is turn, and turn very quickly. In fact, in Arabic the word for heart is “qalb,” which also means “to turn.” As it turns, it fills with whatever it is facing.
The divided heart is really one that is turning between two or more realities, emptying and filling, emptying and filling. Exhausting.
This is why that first commandment. Source wants you to always face the Divine, and nothing else, so that your heart is filled with that primal love and truth, and not distracted, weakened, or caught in the muck of other things.
It doesn’t mean go live in a cave on a mountaintop (as attractive as that may be from time to time). What it means is held in the saying, “Be in the world but not of the world.” Engage, be in business, love, laugh, enjoy.
But never forgot the true source of everything. Let your heart remember that everything in this world is a different face of the Divine. By facing only the Divine, by filling your heart only with the Divine, by serving only the Divine, then… guess what? You aren’t stuck following the herd.
Of course, doing this in every moment is the definition of enlightenment, so let’s not get too crazy with this if we forget every other minute. But remember that your heart can turn right back to love the moment you remember.
Business? Oh Yeah, That’s Right . . .
Since you’re in business for yourself, or wanting to be, then naturally your business is here to help your clients. But don’t fill your heart with clients, meaning don’t worship them. And don’t worship teachers, or what competitors or other people around you are doing. Watch them, sure. Learn from them, absolutely. Be generous with them, oh yeah.
But keep your heart focused on being a servant of Divine love. Keep your heart facing the Infinite and serve that. Since your heart is made to follow and serve and can’t truly lead without being led itself, make sure you are choosing Who or What is leading you.
This will make your business decisions clear. If the Divine leads you in the direction of the herd, fantastic. If your heart leads you in a different direction, you’re not striking out on your own, you’re following guidance.
This isn’t really sovereignty. The technical term in Sufism is “vice-regency.” Like you’re the second in command. Strong, clear, and able to steward your business with authority, knowing you aren’t the source of the authority. You’re still taking orders from somewhere else.
But . . . How?
Ahhh . . . that tricky question: How do you know if you are getting Divine guidance or just following the caprices of the herd?
There’s a process I describe in detail in our free workbook Backwards. The whole thing is really helpful to read, but you can skip ahead to the second section “Forwards” and work with the process I describe there.
Ready to give up on sovereignty and really turn away from the herd?
18 Responses
My usual problem with this is: If everything is source then it obviously is not possible to go the wrong way – there simply would be no problem connecting with source (it would in fact be impossible). It isn’t possible to turn between two realities if there is only one.
However, love and freedom mean difference.
I’m not disagreeing with the focus on love of the divine – I just don’t think that the ‘all is source is an adequate philosophy to adequately describe the need to focus on this and not something else.
I too have contemplated this in my head (perhaps too much).
Maybe the point is that, even though there is only the Source, we can sometimes ignore or suppress what the Source is offering to us.
Overall, great article Mark. I particularly liked the bit about, “Your heart is made to follow and serve and can
Hi Steven- yes, exactly, very similar to what I just wrote to Evan.
Hi Evan- I really hear you- it’s a classic response and in some ways makes sense. The trouble comes in not distinguishing between different levels of reality and witnessing, a spiritual topic, which inter-relate with each other. Everything can be in it’s “perfect place” in any moment, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something else coming.
The real issue is whether we are aware of something as an expression of Divine Presence, or whether we’re looking at the surface of it. Looking at the surface can provoke fear reactions and stucknesses. Seeing the Divine Presence helps us to be aware of a different path.
When we see surfaces, our consciousness awareness is missing out on a huge portion of reality that is present. Yet, the Divine Presence is aware of all of it. It/He/She is witnessing us in those moments. In some sense It/He/She knows the limited witnessing we have in the moment and the choice we’re going to make from it, and the path we’re going to follow because of that. It doesn’t mean Divine Presence isn’t there.
Yet, it’s one of the paradoxes of human free will at one level, and yet Divine omniscience/awareness at another level. We’re “allowed” if you will to stumble and make mistakes- as part of the perfection. It doesn’t mean there isn’t another path available to us.
Ah! How did you know that I am grappling with this EXACT thing right at this moment?!?
This article felt so good to lean into.
My biggest question in all of this these past couple of weeks has been: How do I keep the people who come to me as my focus – listen to their needs, provide for them – but then also move my business forward, and develop content when I’m not sure what they need (when I’ve provided content for everything I’ve heard their needing for the moment…).
And, it seems the answer here is (in my words): tune into source – turn to source and let it provide guidance. Yes? Do I have that right?
Aha! The spirit-cam worked, Jenn. 🙂 Yes, you have it right. And more detailed than that, you can ask to be shown what their hearts are asking for. I often do that as I go to write a newsletter, ask in my heart to be shown what is it that the hearts are yearning for even if I don’t know exactly in my mind.
Love this from your article:
“But never forget the true source of everything. Let your heart remember that everything in this world is a different face of the Divine. By facing only the Divine, by filling your heart only with the Divine, by serving only the Divine, then
Hi Suzie- Yes- exactly! Sounds beautiful- and don’t we all wish we could always tune in? Ah… enlightenment-envy. Oops! 🙂
Hi Mark,
As an inspirational rebel, of course i love what you are saying here about the difficulty of not following the herd.
We follow because that is what we learn at an early age. people write a book and folks follow him or her. we’re all looking for a way “out” of something and that’s why we follow the others, hoping they will lead us somewhere other than where we are.
The key is understanding that you have the power to lead yourself out of where you are into where you want to be and it isn’t even physical movement — it’s a movement of attitude.
people need to free themselves enough to follow their own hearts — then we’d have a kickass world. yet from an early age we are encouraged to look to everyone else for everything we need, which is why people find contentment elusive.
Our classrooms are set up the way they are for a reason … and it’s not to self-liberate. Even all those degrees we think we need to be legitimate. I mean someone had to be the FIRST person to get the knowledge to pass it along via a degree to the others. Why didn’t they need a degree?
happy giving and thanks!
Giulietta
🙂
Mark,
Funny how you have this way of tuning into exactly what people are struggling with right at the moment they’re struggling with it.
Interestingly enough, I feel just the opposite about risking what’s unique when you start to “catch on.” For me, I have a sense of security that allows me to be more myself, to show more of who I am, and totally come from my heart when there are a lot of people who want what I have. I am much more likely to step out on the proverbial ledge when coming from a place of
Hi Cathy- I love what you mentioned as a topic in the Paradox course. I can add that for sure.
I do believe that in learning we almost always go through a stage of “monkey-see, monkey-do” where we take on too much from the people we’re learning from. If we’re aware, it can be a tiny taste instead of way too much, but I haven’t found a way to completely avoid it as I immerse myself in someone else’s world to learn from them.
Okay Mark – this, of course, came at exactly the right time as I am deciding on an advertising campaign.
I cannot thank you enough for the guidance you so generously share and the example you set for me.
I want to be so clear as I go into this next step that I am authentically presenting my work and not just copying successful promotions. This post gave me so much courage to just get quiet and LISTEN to my heart.
Thank you so much!
Hi Karen- I’m here to serve. Glad you took the time to really listen!
Appreciate how much more you seem to be incorporating Sufism teachings…I’m really loving it. This article is great because it reminds me of how the wind can blow one from side to side, the herd then to my unique self; no, the comfort of the herd feels good; no I want to be different-my own true authentic me: now, I’m listening for Divine Guidance…what an interesting dilemma, when for me, its simply about letting go, trusting, surrendering, allowing…..and yes risking to be who you’re called to be and accepting that for yourself, regardless of the herd…….
I’m also reminded of the splendor of birds who soar, pivot, and glide through the skies in perfect harmony, unison and flowing precision, or the schools of fish who do the same…..and they are absolutely magnificent to watch in their naturally spontaneous, yet seemingly choreographed rhythm—there’s got to be value in that, yes?
So what can I say? Hope you had a fruitful Thanksgiving Day!
Peace,
Harriet
Hi Harriet- Thank you for your kind words- it helps to be immersed in my Sufi studies with my teachers once more. I think the complication comes in beyond the simplicity of letting go, trusting and allowing because of the issue of discernment. What are you letting go into? The ego has a tricky way of impersonating God, and stories abound of devils who appeared to saints as angels, trying to trick them. We do need to surrender, and I’ve found that I need to work diligently on my discernment.
Funny you mention the birds. The very first book written by a Sufi, in the eleventh century, is entitled The Conference of the Birds.
The herd mentality is about the only way things get done online. Everyone follows the leader right down to the characters being typed. Yet nobody stops to think that the leader got to that position through trial and error and NOT following the herd.
Well said Robin – although I am a fan of learning from others (especially their mistakes)