Someone wrote me recently, “I wish I could master connecting with the silence.”
I hear that. Actually, I hear a lot more than that. I hear the jets constantly passing overhead toward Portland International, I hear traffic outside my window. I hear my kids crying and running on the floor above my basement office.
I read, and translate into sound in my head, the constant flow of voices on Twitter, on email, on the blog, in the forums, from clients, from colleagues, from vendors.
Under all of that, I hear the hum of the fan on my laptop, on my backup hard drive and my archive hard drive. I hear the hum of electricity going to the lights. The little click and hum of the space heater. The washing machine running on the other side of the house from my basement office.
Add to that the hordes of yeti thoughts running through my head constantly, constantly. “You didn’t post that interview yet!” “You haven’t started the weekly article yet!” (“Okay, now I have, but I haven’t finished it yet!”)
There’s so much noise, I suspect we’re all going a little crazy.
It’s easy to want to run your business from within the noise. Indeed, there seems to be no other choice. Plus, when you’re not flat-out exhausted, it’s so exciting to move with the crowd.
Community is one thing. I love community and receive so much support from colleagues and friends around me.
I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the noise and motion of the crowd. It’s a false excitement. It’s glittering costume jewelry of no substance. And it is exhausting.
Creation Manifests From the Void
In Sufism we say, “La ilaha illa’llah,” which translates into “there is nothing but the One, Source.” It’s an expression of unity, of non-duality.
What’s interesting about the phrase is that it starts out with “La” which means “No.” So more accurately, the translation is, “No! There is nothing but the One.”
It’s not a denial of our bodies or our world. It’s not an attempt to escape what’s true and beautiful around us. It’s a powerful statement of negating illusion, of claiming the emptiness as our birthright, as our nest, as our refuge. No! All of this noise and glitter is not what my heart thirsts for.
Everyone I talk to who is successful in business, by their own standards, guards the silence. Whether it’s long walks in nature, meditation, devotional practices, or something else, there is that connection to silence.
It’s hard to preserve it. As that one person asked at the beginning, “I wish I could master connecting with the silence.”
If this is your wish, let me explain something that will help make connecting easier.
The Silence is Powerful
Silence is not the absence of noise, it is an active presence. If you listen with your heart, you can taste it. Take a moment now and listen for it in your heart.
Under the noise, behind, within the noise, there is a silent presence. It’s palpable.
Don’t try to grab it. Don’t try to hold onto it. Instead, invite it in. Give it permission to take over everything within you, to push aside the noise, to fill you up.
Let the silence master you.
I know that some approaches to meditation have you exert your will on your mind, asking it to focus and quiet. That’s a very useful and powerful practice.
This is different. This is asking for help in letting go. This is inviting in the silence, and letting it push the noise aside. It’s about getting lost, about drowning.
Making a request in your heart for help does require admitting that you can’t do it on your own. It does require admitting to some weakness and a desire for help.
And what if that were okay? What if it were okay to ask for help?
Try It Now
Whatever noise is taking up your attention in this moment, kids, music, Twitter, notice it. Notice all the noise in your space. Take a minute to focus in on each one.
Next, in your heart say “No.” If you like you can try the phrase “La ilaha illa’llah,” which is pronounced pretty much like it reads. You’re not resisting the noise, just acknowledging that all of that hubbub is not the truth.
Third, feel the longing in your heart for silence. Let the longing deepen.
Finally, ask in your heart for help in tasting the silence that is there and allowing it to flood in. Give permission to the silence to master you, to be your anchor.
Bask until the silence leaves. Rinse, repeat if desired.
Now, take a look at whatever you were working on in your business. How has the silence informed or changed it?
Or if you have a different way of accessing silence that works for you.
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29 Responses
I think Mark probably talks to particular sorts of people. I have trouble believing that some of the manic internet marketers guard their silence.
I do like the process of inviting in the silence.
.-= Evan’s lastest post: Vitamin D is Important for Your Health =-.
Actually, Evan, it may or may not be a spiritual process for them, but I’d be willing to bet that they guard creative quiet time pretty fiercely.
Hi Mark
What comes to me as the essence of your response to your questioner is the shift from “How can I master connecting with Silence?” to “How can I allow Silence to master me?”
This seemingly minor change of emphasis makes a universe of difference. The first is stressful and never works. The second is peaceful and is always at our side 24/7.
One of my most revered teachers once told me that a spiritual master is someone who has been mastered – they have become the perfect devotee.
And it is in the spirit of this humility that the Silence that lies just prior to all the noise finds us…
with loving gratitude
Leo
Exactly! Strong language, but it’s critical. Sufism takes it a step further and talks about the student as “slave”- which can have a lot of troubling connotations in the material world, but in the spiritual world it means allowing the ego to be completely mastered by Spirit.
Hi Mark
I just received a new comment on this article in my Inbox, and so re-read it. I’d like to share a deceptively simple yet very powerful little process of inquiry I put together. It takes us deeper into the nature and living truth of awareness, which in my experience is the silence you refer to.
1 Whatever the noise, inside us or outside in the world, ask,”Is there awareness of this noise?”
The answer is obviously “Yes” as otherwise we would not know about our experience of the noise.
2 Notice that attention (a-tension! 😉 ) is free to go wherever we direct it – to the noise, or to the Divine Silence that lives just prior to the noise as the awarness of the noise.
3 As what we give attention to grows and tends to come into our lives, if we want more Silence we need to give attention to the Silence.
So the next inquiry is, “Can attention relax and rest into, and as, awareness of the noise?”
4 As attention relaxes and rests as the silence of awareness, prior to all mental and worldly noise, simply savour it. Feel it. Give thanks for it. And ask for it’s guidance in every area of life.
Giving thanks – gratitude – is, in my experience, one of the most powerful ways of inviting silence into our lives. And ultimately it is not gratitude for something but simply is enough in itself – I AM gratitude…
This process, and the truth it points to, is sooo simple it’s easy to ignore it, pass it by, and look for something more complicated. But I felt moved this morning to offer it as a gift. And ultimatelly, what else remains in life other than to give away our gifts of gratitude for the blessings so freely bestowed upon us?
with loving kindness,
Leo
I love this process which you can do anywhere.
The heart as a source of help/wisdom fits for me (I use HeartMath techniques as well).
Focusing on my longing takes me right out of my had… I love it. Thanks.
.-= Barbara Sliter’s lastest post: An intelligent article about the nature of decisions and BP…. =-.
Woo-hoo! That longing is powerful, ain’t it?
Oops…that should read “right out of my head”…
.-= Barbara Sliter’s lastest post: An intelligent article about the nature of decisions and BP…. =-.
“Let the silence master you.” This is so true for me.
Our culture as a whole doesn’t seem to tolerate silence. I can see how it might be hard to find it within.
To me it is matter of letting myself float and play and breath. Silence to me is like air. I just let it in me.
Leyla
.-= Leyla Torres’s lastest post: Paisley =-.
Beautiful.
Hey Mark,
Timely topic.
I walk every day once or twice for many reasons. One of the most important benefits is to commune with silence. Other times I sit in my backyard and get my daily dose of Vitamin D like Evan above mentions. It’s quiet and relaxing and rejuvenating.
The constant stream of noise pollution makes it hard for folks to own their own thoughts. It’s easier to herd folks in a direction that does not benefit them when you eliminate their ability to find silence.
Thanks! Giulietta
.-= Giulietta Nardone’s lastest post: Why don
It’s so true- I find that we are being herded… but no one is truly doing the herding- which is why we’re going over so many cliffs…
Thank you for this perspective.
I crave silence in my environment, and while I live alone I’m still acutely aware of the city noises around me.
I like the idea of inviting in the silence and letting it push the noise aside, instead of grasping at the silence and trying to beat the noise back!
I learn something every week here. Thank you, Mark!
.-= Marsha Stopa’s lastest post: Happy Solstice | Welcome Summer SAD =-.
Yes! I hope it works beautifully for you. Cities can be so noisy, and yet so beautiful.
Hi Mark,
Great article. I know for myself that too much external noise that’s not of my own choosing can feel quite exhausting at times. Too much internal noise and chatter can be just as distracting and tiring. I like the idea of inviting in the silence and asking for help from a Higher source rather than trying to master or “force” the silence.
I think Leyla is onto something in that our culture doesn’t seem to have much tolerance for silence or quietude. I also wonder if that’s because we’re even less comfortable with hearing our inner chatter and the even quieter voice of our souls and intuition talking to us.
Bright Blessings,
Sue
The noise can be exhausting, and yet it is strange that we have so little tolerance for that which would nourish us… trying to drown out the inner chatter, as opposed to sinking past it.
This was the perfect article for me to read! Surrender and ask for what you need.
.-= Jennifer Louden’s lastest post: You Do Not Have to Earn your Weirdness =-.
Well, you know me, always reading that crystal ball.
Mark – this was so perfect for me this morning. I have tinnitus, one or both ears are ringing, sometimes at different pitches or different types of noises, constantly. I CRAVE silence. This problem literally makes me crazy at times. I’ve made an intention to practice asking my heart to invite silence, to acknowledge my problem, and see what happens. So far, I’ve gotten a few brief moments of acceptance, reprieve even, and yes, silence of a sweet kind in my heart.
THANK YOU
Oy! Tinnitus! I can only imagine how maddening that would be, and I’m so inspired and grateful that what I wrote was helpful to you in that. Here’s to much more silence.
Great post, great reminder on how to do it differently. I LOVE the part about “don
That’s a great quote- so often we get things backwards in our culture.
Ahhhhhh. Thank you.
I’ve always loved repeating ‘La ilaha illa
Boredom can be a real gift, eh? 🙂 Beautiful description Corrina- thanks!
“Everyone I talk to who is successful in business, by their own standards, guards the silence. Whether it
Exactly my point… Well said!
Oh! Aha! So you got me thinking about silence, and what it might be able to do for me, and I had this realization: when I’m in a really good state of flow with my work, all the noises and distractions fade away. It’s just me, and what I am creating, nothing else. Sometimes, it’s so enchanting, it gives me chills; in fact, just remembering how it feels gave me a bit of a delicious shiver.
So, what would happen if I started my day with just letting the silence in, perhaps by remembering that feeling I get when there is nothing between me and what I am focusing on? Is it possible that I will be able to sink into it a little bit easier? I have a feeling it is! I think I now know what I need my meditation to help me do, and so maybe I’ll actually start doing it!
.-= Qrystal’s lastest post: Resolving to Overcome My Stuckness =-.
Aha! Indeed…
LOVE this!
I do a sort of “walking meditation.” I go for walks alone at night around our neighborhood. I always do the exact same route. It’s almost always dark outside. It’s hopefully *not* too windy (ah, southern Alberta!). And I just try to inhale the beauty of the world while it’s verging on rest. If the stars are shining overhead … even better. So humbling and centering. And dare I say it’s like my own little Remembrance practice?
And maybe a bit like traditional meditation too I suppose but less pressure 😉