Intro: I had written the article below before hearing about the attacks at the Boston Marathon on Monday. I pray for all of those, all of us, who are caught up in the storm of violence and grief everywhere in the world, and pray for healing, for peace, for justice. May all people find ease, may all bodies receive complete healing, may merciful, compassionate justice find it’s way to every heart.
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“Everything you do is selling, because you are constantly trying to bring people to your point of view.”
I’ve read and heard various versions of this for years, and it’s usually in the context of trying to convince people why it’s a good idea to learn about selling.
The trouble is, it’s not true. Well, actually, that’s not a problem. It’s a good thing it’s not true.
There is a camp of people who use the lens of “socially aware” or “conscious business” to bring the frame of commerce to most things in life, such as the claim that everything you do is selling. But I don’t think it serves us to think of it that way.
When I’m walking with my kids and we’re trying to decide which path in the woods to take, do I really want to be thinking “selling?” There might be some elements in the conversation that are common to any human interaction, but really, selling?
Of course, I’m writing this right in the middle of the promotion of our Sacred Selling course. Which means that you could count this email as part of our selling. That would be fair. Heart of Business is a business, we want the right people to sign up for the course. I’m hoping to demonstrate our values, expertise and sincerity so you feel safe enough and inspired enough to sign up.
At least for the no-cost learning series.
That’s selling. But part of the dysfunction in our lives is that commerce and transactional business thinking has bled into nearly every area of our lives. Commercials, ads, promotions, referrals, recommendations…
The case can be made that everything is selling because selling has invaded everything, not because everything is naturally selling.
Paradoxically, when I’m in session with a client there’s no selling going on. When I’m with my friends, there’s no selling going on.
There’s nothing wrong with selling, especially when it’s approached in a sacred manner. But let’s talk about what sacred is.
Sacred Is a Place
Sacred is very often used to refer to a specific place or time. A sacred moment with a loved one. The holiness of being in a place of worship, including a desert, forest, or on the banks of a river.
Many spiritual paths describe what to do in order to enter a holy place or time. There’s usually a kind of washing, purification, or ablution, that’s done to let go of our attachments to the world. Entering a sacred place means, in some ways, allowing ourselves to be transformed, to allow the deepest part of our hearts to shine forth unbegrimed by our attachments and illusions.
There Are Places Where Selling Should Not Happen
Jesus, peace be upon that master of love, overturned the money changers’ tables in the temple. Not because money changing was itself bad (although there are severe problems with usury), but because the temple is no place to be selling.
Similarly, you have, I’m sure, felt where and when it is inappropriate to be in sales mode.
Pay careful attention to this feeling and honor it. But notice the subtlety here. Sufism, among many other spiritual paths, teaches that we are not meant to live our entire lives in a house of worship, but to be out in the world engaged in good works, in helping people, in doing honest work.
Selling is a part of that. It’s okay. Do not forbid yourself that which is healthy.
If you honor your heart and trust the sense of where selling feels inappropriate, if you really trust that and don’t try to push past it as some “resistance to selling” then you can also perhaps open your heart and notice when selling feels good.
Selling Can Be Sacred
Finding the sacredness inherent in selling does not mean it’s suddenly appropriate to do in sacred space. Instead its about true connection from your heart to another’s heart. This is obviously very different than your mind’s attachment to their wallet.
Having the sales conversation with your heart wanting to do good, unattached to outcome, and being joyfully willing to invite the right people in to work with you, means that you can feel the sacredness inherent in the conversation, that indeed the Divine is present in everything.
It’s a strange paradox on the spiritual path that these are both true: that everything is equally beautiful and Divine, and at the same time there are places that are more beautiful/sacred/Divine than others.
No selling in the temple, and yet selling from the heart can build a (different kind of) temple where you stand.
Have you experienced this? I’d love to hear stories of where you trusted your heart to sell, and stories where you trusted your heart that selling was not appropriate and you refrained. Add your comment right below.
p.s. Sacred Selling temple-raising begins… now!
In order to help build trust with you as well as inspire you, I’m offering a no-cost learning series on Sacred Selling in advance of the full course. The first lesson was already released, and the second lesson will come out tomorrow.
The third lesson is a live call with me, next week. You can download the first lesson immediately. Please join me!
Also, I’d love your help. Please help to spread the word as far and wide as you can. Tell 3, or 4, or 1000 (grin) of you closest friends about this series.
The Sacred Selling No-Cost Learning Series
If you have any questions, please ask!
2 Responses
Mark,
I wrote an ebook about how to start freelancing and consulting and I sometimes speak on this subject to job clubs.
I have been approached by attendees after the meeting with additional questions about what to do and what to say to get clients. While this could be an obvious selling opportunity, I don
I made an offer to a potential customer who I felt would benefit from my online course but I thought she might not afford it. I told her she could get the part of the course that would benefit her, and only pay for that. She said yes (and told me she wanted to enroll on the course but didn’t have the money). After listening to one lesson (15 minutes long) she was able to go outside alone for the first time in years. Now she’s facing her fears and learning a new way to live. That feels sacred and beautiful to me. I’m so grateful for us both.