I haven’t written a lot on leadership for obvious reasons: a lot of our clients are self-employed, and even the many who have slightly larger businesses usually only have a handful of people on their team. Standard “leadership” topics don’t really seem to be relevant.
But leadership IS relevant, especially if you have a small handful on your team. But even if you’re solo, you still need to reconcile the visionary part of yourself with the part of you that needs to get things done.
I never thought of myself as a visionary, because my image of a visionary was someone who had a clear picture of the future. I remember having a freakout when my mastermind group asked me to imagine Heart of Business 18 months in the future. I actually started getting cold sweats. Wow. <shakes head.>
Now I understand that as a business owner I need to be the Visionary, which means I can see the big picture, and where we are going. No, I don’t see out into the future, but I can see how things come together and how to set a path forward, which the Heart of Business team seems to appreciate (or so they tell me.)
For some of the insights I describe below big props go to Les McKeown and his work in The Synergist. Also to Lincoln Wachtel and Steve Mattus, who have stuck with me through my own leadership learning curve.
Although a business needs a Visionary leader, there are a lot of ways someone who is Visionary can wreck things. The biggest pitfalls I’ve witnessed are avoided by developing qualities within yourself. Let me delve into three of them, along with examples of the train wrecks that occur when you don’t.
Let’s dig in.
- Patience and commitment, because Visionaries create distractions and unrealistic deadlines.
The good thing about Visionaries is that they can *see* something. They see it here and now. And because it seems so clear and present, in their mind or heart, they miss out on what it takes to make it happen. As a result they tend to push the “Go” button on many projects at once, or set insane deadlines. Then they get cranky and sometimes blame their team when things aren’t happening as quickly as they think they should.
I’ve watched organizations crumble because an already overwhelmed staff is told that something absolutely brand new needs to happen in the next week, without dropping any of their current work, when that new project would ordinarily need 2-3 months to really make happen.
Or, a Visionary who has gotten bored or lost track of a longer-term strategy the team is working on, that is taking 6 months to a year to carry out, suddenly decides a new direction is needed, and the team blows a fuse, being told to abandon what they’ve been working on.
Solos can do this to themselves, simply by underestimating how long it takes to get projects done, and getting bored. I’ve heard from many solo business owners who struggle to really commit to spending two full years on business development, who can’t understand why their business can’t get traction or build momentum.
Patience is a Divine Quality. When we think of how long it has taken life to develop and evolve on this planet, hundreds of millions of years, perhaps we can rest into the idea that it’s okay to develop patience about how long it takes for things to get done, and a real commitment to follow your projects through. You, and your team, will be so much happier. And it doesn’t require being a genius of a leader, it’s just about letting your team, or you, carry out what you’ve set in motion.
- Humility and listening, because Visionaries don’t want to hear “no”- even when it’s critical to hear “no.”
Visionaries tend to be all about what’s possible. “Just do it!” is the ultimate Visionary statement. What I’ve witnessed, however, is that as a business gains traction, the opportunities start to come in, and saying “No” is more critical than saying “Yes.”
Or, there may be problems in your ideas that you haven’t seen, and it’s critical for you to hear about those problems. One of the most famous examples is how England’s Prime Minister Winston Churchill, during World War II, set up a separate office that was just supposed to feed him the bad news of the war efforts, because he was worried that his supporters would shield him. Thankfully he knew how critical it was to know the problems.
For myself, in the first Heart of Business team retreat (suggested by Lincoln, because I never thought of it…), I had us list all of the things that were broken or missing at Heart of Business, and we made huge long lists. I felt such a palpable sense of relief, and actual joy, being able to see everything that wasn’t working.
I’ve heard many stories of leaders who, when someone on the team raised a red flag about an idea, would react defensively, telling the person who raised the concern that it wasn’t their job, or accusing the team member of not trusting the leader. It’s easy to see how the most insightful, caring, detail-oriented team members would leave a situation like that as soon as they can, leaving only people on the team who aren’t empowered to fully contribute.
Even as a solo, someone can be defensive when clients give feedback about what’s not working for them, instead of listening. Taking these concerns personally, as if someone is attacking you, is one of the most business-destructing behaviors of a leader.
The whole meme “haters gonna hate” can be empowering on one hand, but it’s also encouraging an undiscerning rejection of all feedback.
All spiritual paths, my own path of Sufism included, point to humility and an ability to listen as critical at all stages of the journey to Oneness. Developing humility and an ability to listen means that you can let others around you improve on your ideas, or help you avoid cliff edges or blind alleys that you can’t see.
- Compassion and Appreciation, because Visionaries often don’t care for the team that is carrying the business for them.
When I read about spiritually-developed leaders, I come across frequent examples of how the leader got down into the trenches with the people who were doing the work. Helping to carry and lay bricks, washing the feet of their followers, or serving behind the counter at the cash register, these practices can help a Visionary stay connected with the reality of the people on the team.
Although it’s a positive trait for a Visionary to be fiercely protective of the organization and it’s goals, if the leader doesn’t recognize that it’s only a healthy team that makes for a healthy organization, they can make choices that really hurt people. Blaming people for missing unrealistic deadlines, or not holding forgiveness and understanding when someone makes a mistake, or working people too hard are all examples of how Visionaries hurt others, and themselves.
There are lots of reasons people act this way, and usually they need emotional and spiritual healing. Unfortunately, the team will, too. It may take a long time to rebuild trust with the team, if it’s possible at all.
For solos, this shows up strongly in how we teach marketing, that your clients really want to be seen and witnessed, and until they are witnessed, they won’t have listening space to hear what you are offering. It also shows up in how you treat yourself, working too hard, running with self-critical voices and blaming yourself in ways that aren’t helpful.
Compassion and Appreciation are both Divine Qualities, living them is a spiritual recognition of Oneness, of how we are all from Divine Source, and we are all supporting an intention to bring more love into the world, however we can.
It takes time.
It will take time, no doubt, to root out the seeds of impatience and closed-heartedness, and to cultivate feeling and expressions of Patience, Humility, and Compassion and Appreciation. But you can do it.
Here’s a question to ask, with a lot of self-care for yourself. How do you think your best, most honest friend, would rate you in these areas? I know for me I need to work on appreciation. When reminded, I’m great with it, and it’s easy for me to forget that people need it. Also patience, because as much as I talk about it, I can forget how long it takes to carry things out. I depend deeply on the Heart of Business team to tell me when I’m being unrealistic or impatient.
For you? Can you share, from the 3 above, what is your highest priority of what you need to cultivate for your own heart and for the heart of your business?
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16 Responses
Hi Mark, Thank you very much, great post and great question. For me, it is definitely 1. patience and commitment. Being realistic about deadlines and what can be done in a given time. This also involves realistic planning and organising. I can be very impatient with myself and with everybody working with me. … and can I add a Nr. 4 to your list: ownership and responsibility, taking on the role as the “leader” of my team in general. Many of my clients (new teamleaders) tell me, that they feel uncomfortable with being a leader, or they don’t want to be a leader at all. I had similar problems myself with this in the past. It’s a kind of “wash me but don’t make me wet” attitude: I want to have the workload off my shoulders, in particular work I don’t want to do, but I am too busy or bored, or not confident enough to do the stuff that would give my team direction, appreciation and the support enabling them to do an even better job.
Jutta- Isn’t that amazing? The patience is so critical, and hard for me, too. I love your number 4- that seems so on. What we call Sovereignty, such a critical lesson in leadership.
Mark, I think you are right on here. Great to frame these issues as the shadow side of a positive trait (being a visionary). By embracing those shadowy qualities and fully owning them, it allows that vision to more fully manifest. As Jung noted, the shadow side (things we don’t want to see about ourselves – or in this case our business) is 80% gold – which means there is a LOT of untapped potential and life in being able to do these things. As a visionary myself, I’ve had to work on all of these things at some point in my career and life. As always, love your insights Mark! (:
Tabitha! Yes- thanks for mentioning the shadow. It’s so true, and I’m so grateful for the ability to delve into shadow- I’ve got plenty of it, and yes, it’s golden! Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you Mark. What you write here has been rumbling around in me in bits and pieces for most of this year. As my business grows so too does my visibility and accountability. And a mystery has been revealing itself ever so slowly as to why I completed my BA in Contemplative Leadership & how that connects w. what I’m actually doing in my business. It’s ultimately not about the service I’m presenting, it’s about supporting others in their sovereignty. It isn’t clear to me yet how to draw that line clearly between somatic education & sovereignty. Yet, if I don’t grow into that, I won’t be growing.
Meg- so interesting! Contemplative Leadership… where are you studying that? Sounds amazing.
This is wonderful – I love the part where you talk about appreciation. I’m a solopreneur not used to being in a formal “leadership” position, and I always thought I was an appreciative person. But I’m currently training someone, and even though she’s learning really fast and I really appreciate her very much, I forget that she actually needs me to SAY that. Occasionally, she throws me a hint to let her know how she’s doing, which I appreciate very much. While I’m teaching her the ropes of what she does, she’s teaching me how to teach.
Marki- that is the most brilliant approach. I always asked my assistants, “Help me know how to work with you.” So cool!
Really appreciate this post, Mark, and how you address how the three ways might look for a leader…and for someone flying solo. I read them from another perspective too—that of working in partnership. Interesting to me how my partner and I are stronger and weaker in different areas…and part of making our partnership work in the best way possible involves looking at that, and how we fit together with that in mind.
For me, patience is a big area of work right now. This has a lot to do with having faith in the process and that I’m on the right track…even though I have no experience being on this particular path before.
Also working on showing my partner enough appreciation. While I feel so much compassion for him and so much appreciation for all the work he does to support us and our business, I don’t always voice it enough. One exercise that’s been helpful this past year is, on Fridays, we trade handwritten lists of 5 things we want to thank each other for from the week. I add to his list throughout the week, which also reminds me to say things to him too—to vocalize the appreciation I have in my Heart. Such a small thing…and yet such expressions are a really big deal to my partner and keep him excited, inspired, motivated…moving in the direction we want to go with life and business. He’s very open and clear about this, which helps me understand why my efforts in this area are so important.
Super-helpful to read about your team’s experience listing things that were broken or missing–and the relief that brought. I’m playing with how we might do something like that…and how to set it up so it’s full of gentleness and softness…humility and listening. Thank you!
Dana- I love your gratitude practice. And yes to bringing in as much patience and gentleness as you need. For some reason, especially with people I already like and trust, I need very little gentleness around what’s not working- it just brings me joy. If you need gentleness, honor that! And… you might be surprised that the truth carries it’s own gentleness and compassion.
OMG. I’m such a visionary *smh* I can see that in some of the “flaws” you describe, Mark, and having a word for it allows me to see the good side too 🙂 Now that I understand, I can bring it all together and start to make it work.
Shulamit- woo-hoo! Understanding, especially self-awareness, is so powerful! 🙂
Hi Mark,
I really appreciated your breaking this down into the perspectives of working with a team and working solo. I’m noticing that when working with others I’m so much more aware of the dynamics between people, and taking care of that. When it’s just me, all my blind spots pop up. Seeing the two perspectives side by side was very helpful for me.
Humility and listening is an area I would like to work more on. I love the creative process, and when an idea or vision takes hold I can get very defensive. Sometimes that takes the form standing up for something I believe in and making a strong commitment, but on the down side it means occasionally clamming up and not receiving the gift of other people’s insight.
Also loved your long term vision of patience.
Dave- thank you! Really vulnerable, and I love your insights between team and solo. So helpful to know oneself, eh?
Hi Mark,
Thanks so much for this article – and for modeling leadership in such helpful ways – including by taking the time to respond to each comment here.
I need to develop patience with myself and my one assistant, and most of all with my partner, Karen. Ironically, being patient with my patients is much easier, and comes more naturally.
Having humility when listening to criticism – even if it is constructive – isn’t always easy for me. My tendency to get defensive or not depends a lot on the circumstances, and who is offering the commentary. I would like to develop more in this regard though, especially in times when I find it hard.
As for showing and stating appreciation for my assistant, Lyle, or for Karen, I need to do that much more.
It is both humbling and liberating to investigate these things.
Thank you Mark!
Howard! Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. It’s hard to see these things in ourselves yet so liberating, yes? And to have patience with the learning curve- and let the people in our business/life know that we want to work on it. Wonderful.