Now, I’m not saying that being nice is bad thing. BUT… we’ve seen situations where the effort of being nice, when it’s not authentic, leads to over giving and can cost you pieces of your soul.
Our practitioner Jason Stein, with a cameo from his wife Rachel, deals with the issue of niceness and what it can cost you in your business, and what to do instead. (And it doesn’t include being mean.)
The video is less than 3 minutes. I recommend taking it in.
Are you being too nice or otherwise over giving in your business?
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10 Responses
Boundaries are so important, but they mean nothing if you don’t enforce them. I always love your vids, Jason, and this one is a great reminder that we all need to own our worth. So many entrepreneurs I work with come from a place of service, but they’ve taken that to mean “servitude”. Self care (or biz care) isn’t selfish. It’s a requirement.
As for what rhymes with “Be authentic”, the best I could come up with was “and say it like you meant it.” 🙂
@Lisa. Servitude. Yep you’re naming it there. How many of us have put the clients needs before our own even when it wasn’t called for. Self Care and Service is a balance that I think ways way more on Service in heart centered businesses. Everyone – It’s okay to be nice to yourself first.
Being nice has been with me a lot lately. I notice I tend to grow when I am treated in a not so nice way when there is love behind it. If I can wait till the nausea of reactivity passes, care for my self rises more fully from within. So why wouldn’t others also grow for the good if I act in a ‘severe’ way? (Severe is not the opposite of nice)
The question I ask is what part of my selves am I caring for in self-care? What I consider a proper boundary may not be what the Divine is asking of me. Really quieting down under the more outer reactions allows me to hear a more radical act of self care- and if I am fortunate, to act on it.
Barry,
Thanks for your response. Radical Self Care is such a powerful statement. I’m guessing we could all open up and receive a bit more if we allowed ourselves to embrace the true nature of who we are.
“What if I was nice to myself first?” Boom! Big re-frame. My issue isn’t so much with clients–with whom I think I have pretty good, steady, respectful and mutual boundaries–but with people I hire to help my business (accountants, web designers, etc.). When they start to waver on their commitments, I have a very hard time maintaining my boundaries. But, “What if I was nice to myself first?” really helps as I think about some of these situations. Thanks so much.
Leslie.
Love this comment:
BOOM! “What if I was nice to myself first?”
The thing that makes it so hard for me is that I LOVE my students/clients. I so want to do all I can for them. What I’m reading between the lines here, is that I don’t just need to be nice to myself first, I need to LOVE myself first. Ha-haaa!
What about “so you aren’t FRENETIC” to rhyme with “authentic”?
Great video – so appreciate it – and you.
Cara – Frenetic is close 🙂 And yes Love yourself and the tendency to not over give will follow. I teach at the graduate level and I find that the more space I give students when I’m not focused on trying to help too much, the more growth often happens for them.
Authentic “Momentic” (banana nana fromentic… authentic!) 🙂
Great video as usual Jason, thanks!
Blessings,
Laurel
Laurel,
Just seeing your comment now and singing yes outloud to myself. 🙂 Have a great day.