Updated 3/10/21
There are folks in our Learning Community who have made big leaps forward, yet are still stuck. What I mean is that they’ve seen significant increases in the number of clients, the amount of money they are making, and ease in running their business.
However, they are still stuck because there’s a big gap they need to cross. That gap could be a move they want to make, or maybe a large debt from their past that needs to be cleared.
This is a different situation from just having a dream. A dream is something you want to move toward, whereas I’m talking about a painful situation in the present that you want to get out of as quickly as you can.
Here’s the challenge: the change that is yearned for by the folks I’m thinking of, maybe by you, could be far off in the future, or only be delivered by the Divine miracle express. Not fun.
Typically I see two types of approaches recommended:
- Work hard, both spiritually and physically, to create a breakthrough for yourself. Expect to get there.
- Be where you are, be humble and grounded and content with what you have.
Both have merit. If the situation you’re in sucks, work to change it. What’s more, believe that change is possible. On the other hand, spiritual traditions around the world teach us to be in the present moment, to be content with where we are and what we have, that the miracle is in the Now.
I can feel the tug between them myself, I bet you can, too. How do you balance yourself between contentment and yearning? The answer? You don’t.
Every Monday in our Community we hold a live guided Remembrance call that is focused on one topic or another, and this week it was this very topic – and I was happy to add it to our library. My approach was based on a Sufi teaching:
“Be expectant of Divine Generosity and be patient with Divine decree.”
We crazy Sufis have a both-and approach. Sometimes when you combine two things, they become a blend of both, fully integrated with each other. Mix blue and yellow and you end up with green, losing both the blue and the yellow.
But in this case we don’t want a drab green mixture of contentment and yearning. The heart can’t rest with that.
Instead, we focused on holding both in the heart at the same time. Feeling the pure yearning, and cherishing the hope that goes with it. That hope is medicine, as my sheikh says. And not just hope, but “expectancy.” We’re directed to expect the Divine gifts and generosity, that miracles can and do happen, that change comes and leads us into the promised land.
Take a moment to drink that in, to cherish the hope and possibility in your heart. Yes! It can happen!
At the same time, to stand firmly on the ground where you are, to find the sincerity and acceptance in your heart that breeds a loving patience, and the willingness to find the gifts and beauty where you are, despite, or with, the challenges. You’re here, so there must be a reason you’re here. There can be something so healing about allowing yourself to fully stand where you are, to let the weight of your being rest on the ground beneath you, without trying to escape it.
Take a moment to drink *that* in, and to savor the stability and strength from having your feet under you.
Notice that these two feeling-states live in different parts of you. One is grounding, the other soaring. Think of a tree, whose roots go so deeply into the ground while at the same time her branches soar above into the sky.
Allow yourself to be aware of both in yourself at the same time, what I’ve heard referred to as an “inclusive awareness.”
I have no idea when change will happen for the clients I mentioned at the beginning. We’re in the middle of their story. However, I’ve seen enough other stories of other clients to know that change does happen, so I have a tremendous amount of hope. I also trust deeply that where they are standing, they have the resources and love available to find contentment and groundedness.
For you, can you taste both the expectancy and hope of Divine Generosity and the patience and contentment with the Divine decree? What happens for you when you taste it?
With love and appreciation,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
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10 Responses
Beautiful, thank you Mark.
I’m doing the business course with you through the Shift Network currently, and this really helps be okay with what’s coming up with something as simple as connecting with the heart of my business. I don’t always find connection in the moments of practicing Remembrance with this. I can get frustrated and my mind wants to figure it out and hear or see something useful that helps me forward. What I get instead is a sense of deep peace in which the frustration can sit. Sometimes, that peace isn’t even there. What I do know is that as I’ve practiced this over time (I’ve been listening to that recording since you sent it out via this website a while ago), I’ve become more comfortable with simply sitting with unknown and the feelings that arise. And, ideas spark at unusual times, or I get a deeper understanding as I take a walk or do the shopping- when I’m not specifically in practice.
I’m not sure how I feel about expectancy of the Divine. What I do know is that if I turn up and learn to be present to the paradoxes, life becomes more deep and interesting and less fearful. Maybe that’s exactly what expectancy is all about- it may not happen in the moment or as I WANT it to happen, but something does change with time, patience and turning up. And it’s usually far richer than I could have imagined!
Cristy- exactly! Exactly… so beautiful. Thank you for sharing, and thanks for jumping into the course with me.
I’m loving it Mark. Thanks for all you do 🙂
Thank you, Cristy! So grateful.
Ahh….so welcomed the Remembrance on this Monday, and was so grateful to find a supporting article in my inbox this morning.
I’m very much caught up in yearning right now…and welcomed the reminder to surrender–yet without collapse.
Also love the suggestion of holding the feeling of both yearning and surrender in my Heart. Tasting them at the same time…rather than trying to figure out how to balance them out with my mind. In the original Chinese characters, it’s Yin-Yang (not Yin AND Yang). Both exist as complementary parts of an indivisible Whole…and both have different qualities and exist in different ways: one steady and grounded, one reaching and soaring.
During the Remembrance, I was reminded of a time years ago, when I was forced to leave a Home I truly loved. The situation was Heartbreaking. And yet, had I not left my Home, I never would’ve met (or even imagined) the Love of my Lifetimes. For me, that gift was infinitely greater. So a reminder to surrender to and trust in the Divine and the Way of things. While at the same time holding to a sense of direction and intention…allowing those to guide day-to-day steps contained within the bigger yearning-surrender.
The weakest link for me at present, in moving from thought into feeling with this, is being unable to find much hope. In the absence of hope, I keep working hard, trying to get excited and inspired, throwing myself into projects…but ultimately feel trapped in a container I long to escape.
Sounds simple, but, in my new “home”, the loss of connection with seasonal changes, cold weather and being outside in nature is what makes it hardest for me to have hope and makes it easy to lapse into despair. It’s like, if i just had that one thing, I could deal with everything else. Part of this, no doubt, is that being in nature makes me feel most connected to the Divine (and most connected to myself and my Heart).
Dana- yes, such a simple, profound practice that is challenging and painful. And you have been on a journey indeed. You may have grief to experience before hope is accessible, that’s my hit.
Wow…right on time. I am totally sitting in this Mark.
Despair at ever reaching my dreams, grieving them. Debt that I don’t know if I will ever overcome.
I’m going to listen to that Remembrance recording right now!
Shelley- I’m so glad it lands. I’ll be curious where you get to with the Remembrance.
Mark, I don’t know HOW you do it, but I’m always grateful that you do. You always magically land on the exact issue my heart needs at the time. I have listened to the Remembrance this week at least once daily, and sometimes twice – even though it is only midweek. Being able to be with what is, whether or not it is pleasant, is at the root of my spiritual practice and in business, I never think that there is anything easy about it, and it is difficult to be able to speak such things without hearing that you are being negative . . . it is one of the things that is priceless about you and your teaching, which is that you are able to stand in the fire with someone, with the truth, without at all minimizing any aspect of what is occurring. It allows a moving through it more quickly. I am always gratefuḷ
Francesca- in this case, I just asked our Director of Education, Steve Mattus, and he told me the topic. 🙂 Thank you for your kind words, and I do all need to be standing in that fire, asking “Is love available even here?”