How your mind protects and undermines your business at the same time

As I write this, I’m sitting here waiting for a big thunderstorm to roll in. I saw the dark clouds approaching an hour ago, and now I can hear the thunder become louder and more insistent every minutes or so. As someone more talented than me once said, “A hard rain’s gonna fall.”

I felt the wind blowing on me as I took the laundry off the line. Thankfully, there had been enough sun and wind already to dry it all, even the jeans. I’m in a heavy mood that matches the weather…

Then the day swept me away. After I brought in the clothes, I had a number of client commitments, and then family commitments, and now it’s the next morning and the mood that seemed so deep and heavy on me in that moment above is gone.

A human tendency is to believe that how it is right now is how it’s going to be forever. Don’t believe the hype.

Struggling in business? Don’t believe that it’s a permanent condition.
Struggling about money? Don’t believe that it’s always like this.
Struggling with confidence? Don’t believe that something’s wrong with you.

Here’s how your mind protects you and undermines you at the same time.

You have a feeling. Perhaps it’s fear. Or anxiety. Or anger. Or sadness. Or grief. Or…

That feeling is UNcomfortable. Ugh!

The mind kicks into gear and makes up a story, trying to figure out a reason for the discomfort. You’re then focused on the reason, and with your attention on the story, your awareness of the feeling decreases, so you feel less uncomfortable.

One of the mental distractions is retreating into a belief that how it is now is how it will always be. If you can, notice the subtle difference between thinking about how bad it is, versus just being in the body/emotional sensation of it all.

This distraction can be really helpful, actually. There are times when our nervous system just can’t handle more input, and it needs some soothing. Zoning out reading a novel, or watching a movie, or exercising, or Facebook, or just hanging with friends or loved ones talking about something completely else. Distraction is healthy at times.

However, not if the distraction is a permanent condition. It’s not a healthy habit to be constantly running from discomfort. And if you take on the belief that how it is now is how it will always be, then that creates that distance from the discomfort at the risk of always living with the discomfort on the edges of your life.

(Special note: I’m not talking about clinical depression, or intense trauma reactions, which go beyond the scope of just personal practices and beliefs to deal with. Be compassionate with yourself if you’re dealing with either of those, and make sure you get professional help with someone experienced.)

Why stop? (And how?)

Most insights/breakthroughs are found within the realm of the discomfort. Example: I was working with a client who was really uncomfortable with sales conversations, talking to potential clients. She would zone out, distract, do almost anything (unconsciously, of course) to avoid being present with the discomfort of the conversation.

However, once I had her lean into the discomfort, she noticed that she didn’t die from it. That it was okay, actually. She could then spend time looking at what was uncomfortable. She realized she could let go of unethical and inauthentic ways of conducting that conversation, that she thought she had to do.

Instead, she discovered a way to be in her heart. The result? MUCH more effective sales conversations, which means more clients.

I’ve seen a version of this happen again and again and again over the years. It’s wonderful and miraculous.

So that’s the why: So you can get the jewels hidden within the uncomfortable situation, as well as remove discomfort from an area of your life.

Now, how.
This is easier said than done, but it’s worth practicing.

First: Notice that you’re uncomfortable. This is the biggest step! Just noticing it, instead of numbing out and flying by it.

Second: Notice the reasons you come up with for the discomfort. Write them down. Acknowledge your mind. “Good mind, just doing your thing. Thank you! Got it!”

Third: Return to the discomfort. Feel it in your body. Notice that you don’t die from it. I’ve done this with fear especially, just feeling the fear in my belly, and noticing how much space there is in my being, that it’s okay to be afraid (or whatever the emotion is.) I don’t try to change it, or shift or anything. I’m just feeling the emotion.

Fourth: Remember the Divine. Or Love, or however you connect to something larger than yourself. We teach the Remembrance, an ancient, accessible practice to connect with the Infinite within your heart. If you have your own practice, go for it.

Fifth: With your heart connected, began to examine the area of discomfort. Is there something here to be learned? Or gathered? Or shifted? Or accepted? Or surrendered to?

Now, obviously, each of these steps could take time. The fifth one especially may require support, or insight, or learning.

Business Development requires passing through the discomfort

For almost everyone, there is some aspect of business that is going to be uncomfortable, for any number of reasons. In acknowledging the bare of truth of this, you can then plan for how to be with the discomfort. The only other alternative is to shut down the most vital and creative parts of yourself in order to just “push through” and do the thing that feels uncomfortable, or, to just avoid that part of business development, leaving your business permanently stunted.

Don’t do either of those. Just breathe, be with the discomfort, and allow yourself to learn. It will get better. I’m guessing by tomorrow, or even later today, the thunderstorm clouds will roll on, leaving you behind in the sunshine.

With love and appreciation,

Mark
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love

P.S. Why not be uncomfortable (meaning become more comfortable) with other people?
This traveling through the discomfort doesn’t need to be done alone. In fact, when you travel with others, it can be so much more fun! And you can learn a ton, too.

Whether you’re brand new in business, haven’t even started, or have been doing it for years, I’m guessing that our program The Heart of Your Business may well have some real gifts for you, allowing you to shift your relationship with many aspects of your business, allowing you to develop it in a healthy way.

We cover spiritual, we cover practical, we cover strategic. And this 9 sessions over 8 weeks course is priced at Pay from the Heart- you set your own price.

Join us! Click: The Heart of Your Business

Any questions, please ask.