Safety and Comfort

I have a question for our hearts as you and I contemplate the various things we’re working on to develop our respective businesses.

It has to do with discerning the difference between comfort and safety.

I used to, years ago, advocate that you put a physical address on your website so that people knew where you are located in the world, as that increases trust. It does.

But for many people, especially women, especially single women living alone in this culture, that is not a safe choice. I’m talking about physical safety, in the context of the overwhelming numbers of women assaulted by mostly men every year.

There’s also financial unsafety, where someone quits a job precipitously, thinking they can make their brand new business get to the point of supporting them financially in 30 to 60 days. Or when someone takes on huge amounts of credit card debt for an outrageously expensive business development program that makes promises it can’t possibly deliver on.

I support you, anyone reading this, to keep yourself safe. To not take unreasonable risks.

Beyond Safety

Then there’s the idea of taking a step forward in claiming the audience you want to reach. Or to speak up and tell someone who is interested in your work, “I’d love to work with you! And I really think I can help you a lot.”

To someone who isn’t used to saying things like that, to being in a focused and effective conversation, that is uncomfortable. But it’s not necessarily unsafe.

Because painful feelings tend to be experienced similarly, if we turn away from those painful feelings, it’s easy to lose discernment. And, in typical human fashion of identifying “worst-case scenarios,” it becomes equally easy to label everything that feels painful as “unsafe.”

And it’s not true. Discomfort is not unsafe. And discerning between the two is really important.

I was at the beach with my family recently, and the ocean water was cool, but not freezing. I could have stood there for a long time not getting wet above my knees, but instead, I dove head first into a wave. I was uncomfortable, for a moment. And then I was joyously happy!

The discomfort was totally worth it.

I’ve had my share of uncomfortable conversations with clients, and yet showing up meant I had a client. 🙂 The discomfort was totally worth it.

Don’t debate yourself while in a dark alley

I’ll say at this point that if there’s any question, I support all of us in going with “unsafe.” I don’t want anyone risking their physical safety in an internal debate over safety versus comfort.

I’ll further say that if you carry trauma, it will be really frickin’ hard to discern- and I support you in getting professional, somatic-based trauma healing/support.

With those two points covered, there’s still a LOT of territory in the realm of business that is going to be uncomfortable, but still perfectly safe.

So many people have done themselves and their businesses a disservice. Either by pushing themselves into unsafe situations, physically or financially, or in avoiding extremely helpful, necessary steps to develop their business that were simply uncomfortable.

Two questions for your heart

1. If you take a moment, can you think over times you’ve felt unsafe, and other times when you were safe but uncomfortable, and discern the difference between the two? Can you find a distinction in yourself between unsafe and uncomfortable? What was, and is, the difference?
2. Can you identify at least one step that you know in your heart that your business is needing? A step that you are avoiding because it’s uncomfortable, and yet not unsafe?

What happens next is up to you. What I might suggest is check in with your heart, and then dive head first into the wave. The water is actually pretty wonderful. ☺

If you’re willing, please share- How are you discerning between safety and comfort? And did you identify something you can dive into?

With love and appreciation,
Mark

P.S. I’m so pleased and humbled to find that over 130 people have registered for The Heart of Your Business  so far (it’s not too late! It starts August 22).

Today is a different deadline. Our Clients & Money program and our Expand Your Reach program start the first Monday of every month, and to start in August, next Monday, today is the day to register.

If you’re in start-up, or have very low income, then our level one Clients & Money program is for you. Click here to read more: Clients & Money

If you’re doing kinda okay, but your income is inconsistent. If you knew you could reach more people then your schedule would finally be consistently full, then our Expand Your Reach program is for you. Click here to read more: Expand Your Reach

Not sure? Find out exactly where your business is in the Four Stages of Business Development. Take our free assessment, and learn what you should be focusing on, and what you can safely ignore. Click here: Readiness Assessment