While running a Virtual Retreat in the Learning Community and Zawiya last week, there was a retreatant who was worried that they were maybe blocking blessings in their business because of fear and other so-called “negative” emotions.
It’s easy to fall into this kind of thinking because of the predominance of toxic positivity in western pop-spiritual circles. Even when we don’t want to believe that stuff, it’s hard to avoid taking it in at least a little. This is the belief that if you think good thoughts, and never think bad thoughts, then bad things won’t happen.
That kind of belief persists because there is a kernel of truth in the center, actually two kernels.
One kernel of truth is that negative feelings often lead to negative actions.
This is when we’re scared that someone is going to reject us, so we become cold and impersonal, and push them away. In this case the fear didn’t sabotage the relationship, but the way we expressed the fear did.
A second kernel is that once something lands in our stewardship, we can mess it up.
We can mess up on a client and lose them. We can fail to follow through with a contract offer and see it withdrawn.
However, these are not the same as feeling a strong, painful emotion and thinking that will be sabotaging blessings.
In Sufism there is a quality of the Divine called Al Jabbar, and my teacher, in speaking about it, explains that, “What hits you could not have missed you, and what misses you could not have hit you.” In understanding the Divine as the Oneness from which we all come from and that everything is an expression of, our emotions, our ego, are not more powerful than that.
The Divine has filled us with emotions as part of our being, those emotions are not “bad” or somehow wrong. We feel how we feel. Sadness and grief, anger and rage, joy and delight, fear and terror, contentment and tranquility, these are all part of the breadth and depth of our hearts.
However, we are asked to not let our emotions consume us, to not let the storms of our heart steer the ship, so-to-speak. This is not about shutting ourselves down, or forcing ourselves in some unhealthy way.
In fact, many unhealthy actions that can sabotage opportunities come from trying to shut down, soothe, or otherwise protect ourselves from our raw emotional states.
It’s more than I can do to give an in-depth somatic and spiritual teaching about how to be with your emotions in an article like this, but let me offer something that might help you get some traction.
If business, or life in general, is bringing up strong emotions, and it’s not otherwise a trauma reaction that needs specialized care and intervention, here’s what I recommend doing:
- Find the emotion in the body, and be with it.
So, for instance, fear may crop up in your belly. When you bring your attention to it, reminding yourself that it’s okay to feel fear, to be afraid, and you focus on the physical sensation of the fear in your body, what happens?
It may be tempting or otherwise easy to go into the story the fear is telling, “You’re doomed! Nothing will work!” (That’s one of my personal favorite fear stories in me.) But this is where we use our willpower, not to shut down the fear, but to bring our attention to our physical body, and resist immersing in the story. - Begin Remembrance, or other heart-centered practice.
The Remembrance is a remembering of the Divine. We do this without attempting to fix or change the feeling in our body. Instead, we begin to Remember that reality is larger than the feeling.
I often like to ask, “Is love available even here? Is the Divine available even here?” The Sufis practice Remembrance by calling a name of the Divine into the heart, not mechanically, but as if one is calling to an intimate Beloved.
“I’m scared… and the Love. I’m terrified… and the Divine. I’m concerned and anxious… and the Source.” - Just notice what happens.
In a minute, or three minutes, or ten minutes of Remembrance with the fear.
Anything can happen, really. Sometimes a warmth grows and the fear lessens. Sometimes insights pour in, showing pathways forward despite the fear.
Sometimes, more rarely, we feel that the love is present even within the fear. That the fear is a loving protection waking us up to something we need to pay attention to and maybe avoid.
Is this really about business?
If you have ever felt strong emotions in your business, and had them affect your perception and your decision-making, then yes, absolutely. I use this every day, and I support my clients in using this as often as possible.
You do need strategy, you do need how-to’s, you do need actual knowledge of business. But if your body and heart are clouded with fear or other strong emotions, then the knowledge can’t truly serve you, and the guidance can’t be perceived clearly.
Also… notice the blessings that are coming to you. They can’t miss you.
I’m curious what your experience is with this.
with love,
Mark Silver,
M.Div. Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
The Tawba healing is even more powerful
There is so much happening in the world, at so many levels. We feel that “offness” – sometimes it’s clear what it is, and sometimes it’s just a general feeling of disconnection and strong emotions.
And this affects your business, even though you need your business, and your clients need the gifts you bring.
I’m offering a bonus class, the Tawba Sufi Healing, for those who register for The Heart of Your Business course now. The bonus class happens December 17, but materials to work with the healing are available now.
And, the course itself will help you ground in love, strategy and clarity around marketing and other difficult topics in business, ready for 2026.
Pay from the heart pricing. Starts in January.
Take a look: The Heart of Your Business
Ask any questions you have.
