You finally made the leap and are getting paid a price that feels good. Except that it’s itching the back of your neck, the back of your heart. You’re uncomfortable.
Next thing you know, you’re working twice as hard, putting in extra hours, doing all kinds of little extras for your clients. You’re exhausted. You’re depleted. And you only raised your prices 20%– why is it that you feel like you’re working -harder- than you were before you raised your prices?
The question in the back of your heart: “Is it really okay to profit from your clients?”
The healthy unbalance that profit brings.
Profit, technically, is ‘extra.’ After you’ve given everything you have to give, and taking care of everything your business needs, anything ‘left over’ is the profit.
But, that seems unnatural, doesn’t it? If you give 100% of your love, caring, and effort to your client, shouldn’t your client be giving only 100%, not 120%? How can you justify having extra?
Well, balance isn’t always healthy. Sometimes imbalance is better.
Over-giving begets over-giving.
In nature, very little stays in stillness. Things are constantly in motion. In fact, stillness, if held for too long, is stagnation… which then starts to decompose, moving out of stillness.
Bert Hellinger, the noted German psychologist who brought systemic constellation work to light, says some very consistent patterns about giving. The observation is that when you give, it creates an imbalance. The person given to naturally wants to give back.
This is true whether you give beneficially, or harmfully. If you give beneficially, the person given to wants to give back, plus just a little bit extra. And if you give harmfully, the person given to wants to hurt you back, plus just a little bit extra.
When you are willing to receive profit, you contribute to an ever-expanding cycle of either generosity or harm. Clearly, one is preferred over the other.
Staying in generosity and avoiding harm.
The key, as you might have guessed, is in your heart. Ever notice that when you work too hard trying to do too much for your client, they don’t appreciate it? They get crabbier, more demanding, more upset?
From the circumstances, it seems like they are being ungrateful. But at heart, what’s really going on is they are responding unconsciously to a harmful action. The so-called “giving back” is subtly a rejection of their generosity. The resulting overwork can be an attempt to actually erase and wipe-out that generosity, which is a harmful action.
Here’s the question: When you receive that profit, are you truly receiving it, in a spirit of authentic appreciation? That appreciation engenders a feeling of fullness and nourishment in your heart and being. Then that fullness naturally cascades over and you can give from a place of true love back to your client.
An Example Gone Wrong.
A client of ours was just taking on some new clients, at a higher rate than she had charged previously. She was nervous about it, and a little off-center.
Unconsciously, she sprang into doing mode. She went not just the extra mile, but the extra ten miles, spending literally hours of extra time picking up pieces and doing work for clients, that her clients should’ve been doing for themselves.
The result? Her clients weren’t grateful at all. They were annoyed, upset, demanding, and crabby. Significantly, the main complaint that surfaced was along the theme of “I’m not making the progress I wanted to.”
The truth was, she hadn’t truly received their generosity. By doing extra she was saving the client from the struggle that begets growth.
A 30 second exercise.
Take a moment now, and think of a client who paid you recently, especially if it was a higher payment than you’re normally used to receiving. Take a moment in appreciation to really let that in. Let go of your attempts to push it away, or to “earn it” by working harder.
Just receive.
Much better, eh? But, I’m guessing you do have a feeling of generosity, a desire to give back. How do you make sure that you are being truly generous, and not harmfully wiping out their generosity?
Let’s take a look.
Keys to Expanding the Generosity Cycle.
• When you receive payment, stop for a moment.
When someone pays you, stop to be grateful for it. Instead of worrying whether they paid too much, or whether you can actually perform, or all the other worries that will tend to crop up – just stop. Breathe.
And then open your heart to feel the truth that your client wanted to give that money to you, and they did. They chose, of their own free will, to pay you. Open your heart to that truth, and let it in.
• Before you go the extra mile, check with your heart.
Are you thinking of doing something ‘extra’ for your client? Take a moment to check-in with your heart. If the action feels like it’s coming from generosity, and there’s no ‘should’ or ‘trying to earn’ that’s attached, then you’re fine.
However, if you do feel a heaviness, stickiness, or any kind of vague pressure or anxiety associated with it, then don’t do it. Instead of trying to get rid of that vague discomfort through overgiving to your client, instead make more space in your heart for receiving, and breathing.
• Invest your profit in three different ways.
The extra that comes in? You receive it gratefully, by investing it in three different ways:
1) Invest in your business, so that it can continue to develop and grow. Learning, classes, hiring help, buying equipment. Things that help the infrastructure and health of your business are great investments.
2) Invest in the world. Tithing a percentage of your profit to those in need is a healthy part of any financial life. It functions under the playground rule: share with others. If you get a bigger piece of cake, you share it. Not all of it, you keep some. But you give some, too.
3) Invest in yourself and your family. Enjoy the extra! Live a little! Go out to dinner, or put it into a retirement fund, or fix up your house, or save it for a rainy day, or a little of all of those. If you aren’t enjoying the fruits of your labors, then your business is going to become less and less fun.
The whole idea of “extra” that profit brings up is a strange idea, since there’s no extra in nature. But, if you truly receive the so-called ‘extra’ in gratitude, and let yourself be a part of the cycle of giving, you’ll find a great deal of ease and generosity in your clients, and in your life.
