Here’s a question I’ve heard a few times recently, from clients and class participants: “How do you know in any growth process when it’s time to be still and when it’s time to push forward? I struggle with finding the balance between activity and inactivity.”
You know the deal: some days you have to take a nap, and that’s when unexpected business drops out of the sky. And other days you feel like you “should” rest, but then feel strangely invigorated by working all day and night Saturday, even though it’s the weekend.
However, if you are stymied by the question of whether you should be active and making things happen, or inactive and waiting to receive whatever shows up in your path, then you probably are simply asking the wrong question.
What I love about being my own boss (if you are an employer, take note of this for your employees!) is that I can pay attention to the organic ups and downs of my own creativity.
To tell whether you should be inactive or active, the trick is to do one or the other, it doesn’t matter which, completely and totally, 100%.
(With one critical exception, which I’ll get into a few paragraphs down.) But let’s start with the basics:
For instance, let’s say you think you “should” be resting. So, you lie down to take a nap. Or, you go out to sit in the sun. If you feel like you could fall asleep, go ahead, sleep! You need it!
But, if after settling in for a few minutes, you find yourself agitated, and jumping up to go do something, good information. I guess you aren’t in the mood to rest, eh?
So, now, go do something 100% productive. Maybe it’s working on some task in your marketing. Maybe it’s working on your garden. Or cleaning the kitchen. Or who knows what. But do it.
The key here is that you rarely stay in one mood for very long. You probably don’t need to rest all of Tuesday- maybe you need to take a 30 or 60 minute nap, write your newsletter, do some other tasks, clean your desk, read a novel for 30 minutes.
Life is dynamic, it doesn’t sit still. Anyone who has tried to go be in the “peace and quiet” of nature, knows that something is always happening, often loudly, and everything has it’s moment.
However, you can’t always trust your surface feelings about activity and inactivity.
You know this is true if you’ve lost yourself in a novel for days on end, or if you’ve watched six DVDs in three nights, or if you are bleary-eyed from checking and rechecking your email, but meanwhile, you aren’t feeling vital.
I call this the Fog. Each person feels it a little differently, but for me it feels almost like a drugged feeling, as if there is a glass wall between me and life- I’m tired, but not honest-tired. I feel foggy. The Fog.
First example: I was working with a client who was struggling with some fear. My usual mode is leap into “healing” mode and help clear the fear. But, when I felt it, I felt the Fog. In this moment, it wasn’t about processing feelings in the heart, it was about moving into action with the details of her business, and the fog cleared rather rapidly for her.
Second example: Another client was struggling and struggling to get some work done. But, this time when I felt the Fog, I noticed that it had a blinding effect on the client, keeping her running. I assured her that resting and integrating was much more important. And so it was- some days after resting and integrating, she felt a natural desire arise in her heart to get back to work. This time the Fog had been keeping her in anxiety, which kept her from resting, so she couldn’t tell what was really in her heart.
The question isn’t whether you should be active or inactive in any particular moment- that can change. The question is: are you in The Fog?
Keys to Clearing the Fog
• The biggest key to clearing the Fog is identifying that you are in the Fog. Know your Foggy symptoms: Are you inexplicably anxious? Do you feel bleary and yet can’t rest? Do you wake up from a nap feeling heavy, like you have lead in your veins? Do you feel like you just can’t get going no matter what you do? These can be symptoms of the Fog.
• It’s okay to declare war on the Fog. Sometimes, when the Fog sets in, I jump up and down and shout. Sometimes I go outside and walk in the rain. Sometimes I walk away from a critical task that I’m not getting anywhere with. Sometimes I throw out the chocolate, get a big piece of celery and a big glass of water, and buckle down to push through. You have to experiment here, because it’s not the same solution every time.
Declaring war doesn’t mean you don’t rest. The Fog may be keeping you running on anxiety, and so resting is what’s called for. But make sure you really rest.
• Don’t try to “process” the Fog. This is a tricky distinction, because healing is an important part of anyone’s process. But trying to heal the Fog itself is just another way to keep you trapped. What you may need to do is focus on the emotional and spiritual issues that are keeping you trapped in the Fog, and bring healing to them, especially if you find yourself in the Fog every time you approach a certain activity.
• Remember that you are declaring war on the Fog, not on yourself. Be gentle with yourself, even as you are being firm in shifting directions. You aren’t bad or wrong, but you are in the grip of the Fog.
In the end, the only thing that will really break through the Fog is changing directions, combined with the Remembrance or other prayer/connection practice. The Fog can feel like an outside force, and only by both deeply connecting to your inner most heart and defiantly shifting your actions in some way can you get a take on what will move you through the Fog.
I’ve been battling the Fog yesterday and today trying to get this article written, and I broke through this time by alternating very short rests, with lots of a water, and enforced typing, even if I kept deleting paragraphs.
Some people may call the Fog the Devil, or the shaitan, or Satan, or inner demons, or what have you. The difference between your internal doubts and the Fog is that the Fog feels like it is outside you. It is. Be gentle with your self, strong in your heart connection, and firm in changing your direction.
