I’m not sure what it is these last few weeks, but a lot of people have been really hard on themselves. A lot of self-judgement, pressure to get more done, sooner, to accomplish. I mean, this is business, right? You are supposed to be getting ahead, right?
In trying to grow your business, most people miss one of the most important growth ingredients: Gentleness.
Gentleness? Gentle to me means treating yourself and your customers with kindness and consideration. It means not treating your business as a slave that needs to work ever harder to produce for you. It means giving some spaciousness to yourself in going for goals.
I have a client who is coming into a great time of her life. She has freed herself from some very limiting commitments, and has before her a great business with excellent prospects. Yet, she still has many of her survival habits from her prior situation: harsh marriage, challenging job.
She is very sharp and intelligent and she will succeed, I have no doubt. Yet where is she now? She is stepping into a new reality, and her old habits haven’t fallen away yet.
Often we have a belief that change needs to be instantaneous to be real. And sometimes it happens that way. However, trying to always change that way, especially big change, is like trying to eat an apple in one bite. The result? Three different things:
One: you won’t enjoy the apple nearly as much; Two: you won’t be able to course-correct (ugh! this apple was mealy- I actually wanted a different apple); Three: you just might choke to death on it. And me having let my paramedic license lapse years ago…
Gentleness is an all-too-rare commodity in business, and one which can make you stand out from the crowd and shine.
Keys to Gentleness.
• You can be gentle and strong at the same time. Gentle is about allowing yourself to truly stand where you are: if you are uncertain, or depleted, or scared, or overwhelmed, to allow yourself to be there, instead of beating yourself up for being there. Strong is about being clear about where you are, and standing in it. You are much stronger if you gently allow yourself to feel your overwhelm, rather than pretending that everything is okay.
• The word “gentle” has its roots in “nobility.” Another way to say “be gentle” is to “be noble.” Be noble to yourself and your business. Nobility implies that you carry qualities such as generosity and honor. Give these qualities to yourself and your business.
• Your business, or job, or coworkers, needs gentleness, too. When was the last time you whipped yourself and got results that lasted and left everyone pleased? Don’t whip your business or your job either. Instead, take the high ground, and stand in gentle strength of allowing what is. And then move from there.
