Yesterday I was in a weird space. Maybe it’s the weather (the rain has arrived in Portland- although the fall foliage has been, I have heard, the best in years- it was indeed magnificent), maybe it’s my spiritual practice, maybe it’s just one of those days. But I wasn’t feeling really spunky and out there.
Yesterday evening was also a regular meeting I go to- the PNCA (Pacific Northwest Coaches Association), which is a wonderful networking event.
In the past, this situation has been a sure-fire recipe for disaster for me- emotional disaster. I go to the event, trying to deny my true emotions, and “network” with people, and end up feeling like a space alien while I’m there- a gawky, adolescent space alien at that. And, upon arriving home, heap mounds of abuse and criticism on myself for “not doing it right.”
Wow, that’s successful networking, isn’t it?
I know I’ve said this before, but vulnerability is our greatest strength, personally and professionally.
With vulnerability comes intimacy- meaning people get to see the real you, which touches profound places in themselves. By being vulnerable yourself, you give the people around you the feeling that maybe it’s safe for them to show their vulnerability, too, and, before you know it, hearts are connecting. And marketing is all about authentic- not “perfect”- relationships
What I chose to do last night, imperfectly, and messily, was to just talk to the (very) few people I was drawn to, telling them “I’m in a weird space tonight. I feel funky,” etc. This seemed to engage their hearts in reaching out to me, to help me- hugs, encouraging words, sharing of similar “weird, funky feelings,” all helped me feel better about myself, without trying to “do” anything.
Because I had allowed myself to be vulnerable, and because I had let go of any need to “sell” myself, I gave my announcement at the end of the night for my workshop, and it came right from my heart, and I had people approaching me afterwards, full of praise and interest.
I should add that I kept up my practice of remembrance, which many of you know by now is the repetition of the Name of the Divine (whatever name you use to call to the highest light), in my heart, without trying to fix or change anything, just to pray for accepting myself where I was. This allowed me to share my “funkiness,” without either isolating myself, or dumping on the other person (important!).
Let yourself be who you are, where you are, and let go of expectations of getting anything.
People that are scared off by your vulnerability won’t be fun to work with anyway, and you will be surprised to find that most people will want to engage you from that place of imperfect human-, but deep heart-, connection, because you are being authentic to your emotions.
In short, in any situation, no matter how high-pressured, 1) Notice how you are feeling, 2) Bring the Remembrance of the Divine into your heart, asking to accept how you are feeling, 3) Act in ways that are appropriate and authentic to how you are feeling.
I guarantee you’ll feel better, and your business will respond.
