Recently I’ve been hearing from clients and members of our Learning Community that there are important things they need to do, critical things their business needs… but they keep avoiding doing anything about them.
One of the most common is marketing to strangers, making the business visible to new people. It’s absolutely understandable why folks avoid this, because so many ways we’ve been shown don’t feel good. Maybe they’re unethical. Maybe they just don’t match our personality.
But, I think there’s something else that stops folks, and it has to do with the relationship in your heart with the task in question.
Stop trying to be instantly productive with new or challenging things.
This is the pattern I see in the clients I mentioned above, and sometimes in myself. Identify the need to do a thing, for instance, a certain kind of marketing.
Schedule a time to do it.
When that time comes, they have no real idea how to do it, or how to do it well, or how to do it ethically or effectively.
Avoid “doing” it.
Feel great shame about not getting to it.
Rinse. Repeat.
Rather than running this cycle, I want to let you off the hook, and ask, what if you didn’t have to be instantly productive? What if you didn’t have to do anything the first time you sat down with this so-called task?
What if the thing before you to do was to simply spend time coming into relationship with the task?
The alternative approach.
That thing you need to do you’ve been avoiding. Schedule time to be with it, and hold the expectation that whatever time you schedule will NOT be productive. You won’t have anything to show for it at the end. Which is no different than it’s been so far, so you have nothing to lose.
So, what will you do with the time?
You’ll face the task and notice what you don’t like about it. You’ll honor that the way others have done the task in ways you don’t like or don’t resonate with you. You’ll acknowledge that you don’t know how to do it, or you don’t how to be effective with it.
You’ll just be with the fact that it’s something necessary for your business, and you feel a bit helpless or lost or stuck.
Then, you’ll lean in. You’ll find your commitment to take on this task in a healthy way, as well as your refusal to compromise your values or to go against your own personality or strengths.
You’ll ask questions like, What support do I need to take this on? What do I need to learn to take this on, and where can I get that learning? What needs to happen before I can start to be productive with it?
What do I refuse to do out of my sense of ethics or caring? Of the potentially many ways to take on this task, which ways don’t align with my personality that are okay to let go? Which creative ways might feel really great?
What my client did instead of giving a talk.
I remember having a conversation with a client who was trying to make their business more visible, and had an opportunity to give a talk to an audience, but kept avoiding following through with the opportunity. When we talked, my client’s introverted nature just didn’t want to give a talk. So we explored what would feel good for her.
She ended up deciding to make herself available for free 1-1 consults/conversations on the topic that individuals could sign up for. She then followed through with the opportunity, and had a successful day of it, meeting quite a few new people and getting new clients out of it.
But she had to take the time to be in relationship with the opportunity, instead of avoiding it. Then she could discover how to change it to match her heart and her business.
Productivity is only one step on the path.
It’s extremely rare that one can be instantly productive with a task, especially a new one, or one that holds emotional charge. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. It’s not letting yourself off the hook, it’s not being uncommitted.
It’s approaching the task in the only way possible- by creating a relationship of authenticity and love and commitment with it.
What tasks are you avoiding that you know your business really needs? Can you schedule a time to start to create a relationship with that task?
With love,
Mark Silver, M. Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
The Heart of Your Business: Finding another way
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