There’s an interesting dynamic that comes up, not with everyone, but with a significant number of people, and keeps them from marketing or otherwise making their business better.
It’s this: guilt about waiting lists. Or, really, guilt about saying no. They are imagining if they develop their business, they will be overwhelmed, flooded with people that they can’t say “no” to.
People in this category have a deep caring for folks, like many of us, and it’s hard to say “no” to someone who needs the help.
However, that’s a complicated mess to be unconsciously undermining or restricting your business to avoid maybe, potentially saying no, or not right now, to someone.
No shame. No shame. Just… awareness. If you think this may be going on for you… let’s talk about it.
I support you in not overwhelming your schedule.
I don’t want you scheduling clients all over the place, being so jam-packed you can’t breathe, you lose spontaneity, or the ability to do what you really love. I’m an absolute no to all of that.
So, a few things. Three things in particular.
One: Developing your business rarely opens floodgates.
Although it does happen, it’s rare that someone will get their messaging right, and all the other parts of their business and then, boom, overnight, there’s an avalanche of clients.
Much more normally you see a trickle gradually increase to a flow. By the time it gets to a flood, you’ve had time to adjust, to make choices, to figure things out.
Two: Waiting lists are an okay thing to have.
Let’s say you do get a flood, and there are twenty people trying to get into ten client slots you have.
First, you can allow yourself to only work with people who are the perfect fit. In this situation you can, without worrying about your survival, refer out folks that are more of a stretch. That you could work with, and would, in leaner times, but can let go of in a situation like this.
Then, with the folks who are left, maybe a few have to wait? Maybe it would be nice to have a few people on a wait list, ready to take a spot when someone completes? And maybe it’s a healthy response in an unhealthy culture, to support the cultivation of patience, of spaciousness. of timing.
Maybe some would be grateful to be on a waiting list?
Three: “No” is a sacred practice.
In Sufism, in Islam, a central statement is La ilaha illa’llah. It means that there is nothing but the Divine, nothing but the Oneness. And it begins with an emphatic No! La!
That No! is saying “no” to illusion, and saying yes to the truth. The truth is, you only have so much space in your life, and there are only so many clients you can take and still bring care and love to each of them.
Practicing the sacred No, which is really saying Yes to the truth, is needed in business and life. In early stages of business, you say Yes to whatever you can, to get the energy flowing, to be in the spirit of play and experimentation, to try things out, to make it work. Yes!
But, as the business develops and becomes something more solid, dependable, effective, something that can actually work, that can actually support you in thriving, you learn to say No.
We do this in life all the time, “I say no to this, so I can say Yes to that.” It’s a healthy ability to develop.
In this instance, in your business, the Sacred No, is such a powerful practice to take on.
Don’t stop your business from thriving.
If you’re aware that you’re holding yourself back because you’re worried about being overwhelmed by success, it’s okay, it’s understandable. And, don’t let an unconscious reaction keep your business from thriving.
Relax into the awareness that making your business work will probably not unleash an immediate flash flood of overwhelm. That you will have time to adjust.
And, embrace the sacred No! So you can say Yes to the business you want.
With love,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
Marketing to Strangers is one of those things…
I’d love it if this course could unleash a flash flood of immediate new clients on you, but, the truth is, it probably won’t. But, what it will do is allow you to really get how marketing works, and how to work it work with your own values, personality and strengths… and how to enjoy it! Have fun with it!
And then you’ll see the flow start to increase.
We start Tuesday. Sept. 3. Pay from the heart pricing. Join us!
1 Response
Mark, thank you for this post. It had several gems for me that spoke right to where I’m growing and stretching (or being stretched!) The piece about how saying no to illusion is saying yes to the truth was a very helpful reminder.
And I appreciate your mentioning how the fear of potential overwhelm can arise in business, and impact our choices, both consciously and unconsciously. That was very helpful to read and now to sit with.