“What’s wrong with me?” Someone in the marketing class was complaining to us, about himself. “My bank account is near zero, and I have twenty thousand dollars in accounts receivable- and all I need to do is send out the invoices.”
“Why can’t I send them out? I feel out of integrity with myself.”
In different businesses, it’s the same story. The massage is over, and the massage therapist stutters asking for payment. The product is shipped, and you are waiting and waiting for the check- yet you don’t call and ask for it.
Why is it so easy to be out of integrity with yourself by not asking for the money you are owed?
Actually, you are trying to stay in integrity by not asking.
Huh? But it feels so out of integrity to perform work and not get paid for it, and not ask for the money. How can that be in integrity?
It’s true there is an integrity conflict, but it happened earlier than the time of asking for, and receiving, payment.
The integrity conflict happened at the time when your client/customer initially agreed to use your service or product.
Integrity has to do with wholeness- being complete.
When a new customer says “Yes” to your offer, whether it’s a class, a year-long custom consulting arrangement, or a pair of custom-made shoes, you are forging an agreement. A sale is just that: an agreement.
In order to be functional, and feel good, agreements need to be in integrity: meaning they need to be complete. All details accounted for.
What’s wrong with this agreement:
“Sure, let’s go to dinner. How about this Wednesday? Yes? Great, I’ll see you then.”
This agreement is not in integrity. Why, what’s missing? You’ve already spotted what’s missing- what time are you going to dinner? Where are you going to dinner? Are you going to meet where you are eating, or is one of you going to pick the other up?
There is no way to keep this agreement, because it’s not in integrity- it’s not whole.
And, there are other, less obvious details missing as well: is it a private dinner for two, or is it okay to invite anyone else? “I hope it’s okay, but I brought my brother along,” is not the best thing to say if your dinner partner has shown up in an evening dress at a fancy Italian restaurant expecting a romantic dinner for two.
Integrity. Clarity.
Getting paid easily and every time, without discomfort and without waiting, means you need to get really clear on the money details before you consider your customer has truly said “Yes.”
There are three details about money that you need clarity on to be in integrity. But even more importantly, how can you get comfortable asking for them, when you’ve been avoiding them all along?
What are those three details, and how do you find comfort?
Keys to Asking for the Money
• The three details: How, how much, and when.
- How is payment accepted. Check? Credit card? Cash only?
- How much. What’s the total cost of your offer?
- When is payment due. Half at the time of scheduling? Payment right after the massage is over? Cash on Delivery? Net 30 days? Do you send an invoice, and when?
Sidenote on #3: You don’t have to follow the conventions of your industry on when payment is due. Just because ‘everybody’ bills net 30, doesn’t mean you can’t ask for 30% 50% or even 100% up front. In most cases your customer doesn’t care, they just want to know when.
If you are conscious and clear, and it’s authentic from your heart, your customers will do as you ask them.
• Clarity creates comfort.
It’s true that before you get used to asking for the three details, it can make your heart go ‘pitter-pat.’ But let’s look at it from the customer’s perspective.
Let’s say you just decided to buy something you really want. What’s your next question? “How do I pay for this?” But what if it’s not clear how to pay for it? There’s no obvious register, no one you can find to pay.
How uncomfortable do you feel? Personally, I -want- to pay, and feel really uncomfortable when I don’t how it works. That discomfort alone can get me to put down whatever I wanted to buy, and leave.
Talking about the details is a point of integrity, and because it has to do with wholeness, it’s a point of comfort for your customer. And overlooking them may leave your potential customer feeling uncomfortable. Is that good customer service?
Ask for the details, and make those “Yeses” ones where you get paid. It will keep you in integrity, and your customer will feel much more comfortable.
6 Responses
Hello Mark, this is article is very well written, and helpful to me. How would you handle the following situation though?
2 years ago I sold a stereo system to a work colleague. I said the price is 70 UK Pounds.. he said “it’s a bit expensive as my child has been ill and I’ve got medical expenses to pay.” I said, ok, well.. what can you can afford? 2years later I have not had an answer from him. I since left that company and no longer see him, before leaving he said he would pay some money into my bank account, for which I gave him the account details. I think now this was a cunning plan to make me feel sorry for him, and mean for asking for money when his child had been ill – which I wonder now may have been a big lie.
Hi Turfy- that’s quite a different situation. If it’s been two years already, I would be tempted to just let it go. He may have been lying. He may also have been telling the truth, and just feeling ashamed about his inability to pay what he thought was a fair price, and so disappeared.
Ah, yes, integrity. That’s it, isn’t it?
I agree that the cycle of asking for and receiving money works a whole lot better when the 3 details are clarified on and agreed upon at the beginning of the transaction. However, once that’s been done – you agreed on the details, performed the work or delivered the product, sent out the invoice clearly stating the terms of payment and amount owed, and followed up with statements and telephone calls – sometimes you still don’t get paid. The client doesn’t keep his end of the agreement.
One way to handle this would be to inform the client that you will not deliver additional products or services until payment is made, but a very small business might not feel like they were in a position to issue an ultimatum like that. This might also encourage the client to skip out on his obligation to pay for goods already received and take his future business elsewhere.
So, who’s out of integrity here? The client, certainly, because he didn’t uphold his end of the agreement by paying what was owed according to the terms. The provider? I’m not sure. It seems like there’s an integrity issue here. The provider wants to get paid for products and services already delivered AND he doesn’t want to risk offending the client.
I wonder if there’s a way to bring this situation back into integrity….
@Chris- It’s a good point you raise. My approach would be to ask them directly about what’s going on. If they continue to either not respond or not pay, then I would stop the relationship with them, and chalk the losses up to just that, losses.
One of the things I love about getting clear is that you end up knowing if this is happening much, much sooner, and can take action much, much sooner.
This article makes sense and is an interesting perspective (integrity with one’s self) I did not think of before. What do you think of the following situation? I recently tried to get into the habit of creating contracts outlining what I was to do for a client and how payments would be made. It did involve a deposit, but the strangest thing happened moments after I received the deposit/en route to the bank to deposit it -> I was discontent and stressed beyond any reason whatsoever. The job that was partly paid for already was a piece of cake and involves something I have done over and over for 10+ years, but yet I had such an uneasy time having accepted the money and furthermore with asking for the remainder of the payment after what was in the contract was completed. This makes no sense. I also have noticed as time goes on this whole money thing keeps getting worse and worse and feels that its coming to the point I no longer want to do the very thing I want to do.
Hie Mark Silver i am from India.
I have personally like the whole article but would really like to bring up my situation in front you.
I am into jewellery business which is on small scale and in August 2014 i made a sell of ₹ 1.5 lakh i.e $ 2500 to client who is very rich and generous.
But even after 5 months he is left with $1100 to be paid. I am not always in the condition to credit that much of amount. But now i do not how to ask his for the money as he still need to make a good purchase from us plus that amount is actually nothing for him that’s why i am all confused that why he is making excuses.
I would like to follow up your comment regarding my scene so please revert asap.