Can we please let go of “concise” as a primary value in our businesses?
Because of the ever-increasing speed of online connection, people have been convinced that they need to communicate everything important in 5 words, in 2 seconds, or you’re done.
It’s not true. It’s not true.
While it’s also not really effective to take on the Dickensian multi-page paragraph style, there is room to say what we need to say, to communicate fully.
What you’re up to, what we’re all up to, is nuanced. It’s complex. It’s full of care and complexity. And yes, it’s true that with experience complexity can be transmuted into simplicity, that’s not the same as just lopping off what’s most important to fit into a size 2, when that’s not true for most of us.
When we jump to making things too short, too quickly, a few things happen:
1. Stress, and even panic, set in.
When people are stressed, a sort of tunnel-vision takes over. They start worrying about the number of words, and lose track of their heart connection.
What’s more, have you noticed that when people are stressed, some people shut up entirely, while others talk more than they need to? Stress takes us out of ourselves in painful ways. Maybe relaxing around how many words you’re using means you might use less anyway… because you’re not stressing about it.
2. Reality as we know it tends to be judged and left out.
This is the same process that reduces the cultural normal to “white men” instead of the less concise, but more true diversity that we exist within. I mean, I’m a white man, and I hate how boring the culture is if it’s just about me. Reality is so much more REAL and engaging and wonderful.
So, the reality that you understand about your business and work gets lopped off… and then no wonder it doesn’t feel magical, or fulfilling, or alive in the way that you had hoped.
3. Language starts to sound generic and boring.
Yes, sometimes people are naturally concise in their language, and that’s awesome. However, more often people tend to bring all kinds of interesting expressions when they are relaxed and truly expressing themselves. It’s a part of showing up.
So… if you weren’t in a rush, how would you show up?
4. The very people we need more of, “suck it in” and take up less space than they truly need.
One of the exercises I lead at times with our clients and members of the Learning Community is about taking up space. Not taking up more space than you do… but relaxing into the space you physically take up. Noticing how far your shoulders extend into the space around you. Just taking the space you naturally do.
The same goes for your business, and for your self-expression. I’m guessing that you may be one of those people who was told, in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that you shouldn’t exist, or that you should be invisible or take up less space.
This applies to everyone in the culture, because there is no part of the culture that wants everyone, or anyone, to show up fully.
Is someone (or some voice in your head) reading over your shoulder and complaining about how this just gives an excuse for people to write run-on sentences?
You can tell that person, or that voice, from me that yes, I’m fine with run-on sentences. I’m fine with you taking up more space. I’m fine with you saying what needs to be said.
I have a strong feeling (backed up by years of experience) that so many people, maybe including you?…
…If they didn’t feel the pressure to make everything short, shorter, shortest… might actually be able to express themselves and their businesses more easily.
Now, I could come in here and make the distinction between “getting attention” and then leaning into that attention to explain things. I could talk about all kinds of ways to traverse the concise to the expanded…
But, mainly, I just want to give you permission to fully express yourself in your business. And to trust that you, when you’re relaxed, will be able to talk to the people who cherish you, who need what you’re bringing, and have care and attention for you.
So… just say what you want to say, use the words you want to use. You don’t have to cut yourself off. We’re listening, with love.
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
P.S. Wouldn’t you love to grow your business within a container of compassion, where you could just be yourself already?
Tomorrow, we’re opening up for new members for the Learning Community. Which is precisely that kind of place.
You can take a peek in advance, and keep an eye out for the email tomorrow announcing the opening:
