An antidote when you resist being visible

A lot of people struggle with visibility for their business, and there are many very legitimate reasons for it. So many have had really painful experiences in life, where being visible meant being hurt. We’re seeing now in the U.S. that some people are at risk of really terrible consequences if they are visible to the wrong people.

So, in facing the issue of visibility, we have to be able to first make an honest assessment: are we (relatively) safe being visible at the level our business needs of us, which is far, far from the visibility of any kind of public figure. If safety is indeed an issue, that’s a different topic, and absolutely needs care and tending to.

However, for many, we are actually physically and emotionally safe being visible. So how do we get through the nervousness or anxiety that comes at the thought of being visible?

To do this, let me name a major misunderstanding about being visible in the context of your business. Visibility is not about being a public figure. It’s not about “me, me, me.” Many of the examples of visibility we have are from extremely public figures that are constantly focused on image, on ego, on many different kinds of unhealthy behaviors.

Your business does not require anywhere near that level of visibility. So let’s take a moment and let those images go. You will be visible, not on a stage in front of tens of thousands, but maybe in a few different living rooms of dozens of people.

That may feel awkward enough, but we’re not talking mainstage or center ring in a big stadium.

Now, to handle the awkwardness that remains, let’s shift focus. 

You may not know this, but if you’re on a video call, you can turn off the video of yourself. For a long time I didn’t know that, and when I found it, I was so relieved. I no longer had to watch myself teaching, or talking with clients. 

It’s not natural to watch ourselves all the time. We evolved as human beings without much in the way of mirrors, except for the occasional still pond of water. It’s only relatively recently that we’ve had mirrors at all.

Our attention is meant to be outward, seeing others, placing us primarily in relationship with the world around us, and internally, within our own hearts. But not on our own faces.

When we’re focused on others, especially when we’re focused on helping others, we tend to forget about ourselves, becoming “self-less.” 

There’s also an impersonality that comes, not in a bad, disembodied way, but rather that we become the work embodied. When I was a paramedic, the uniform I wore certainly meant that people were looking at me, but they weren’t really seeing me, they were seeing the work I was embodying. And I wasn’t watching myself, I was focused on the patient I was helping.

At a much deeper level, when we are channeling the Divine gifts we carry in service to our clients or others around us, there is a self-lessness, a sacred “impersonality” that you may already be familiar with. This sacred way of being in service is, to a large extent, an antidote to reactions we have to visibility.

This doesn’t just apply to when you’re working directly with clients. I’ve long been an advocate that the main intention in creating content, or networking, or any of the other marketing activities we may take on, is “Get the help to the people.” I’m writing this article not thinking of myself, but thinking of you, thinking of my clients, thinking of those in our Learning Community, thinking of the many folks I see in my social media feeds, or around my local community, and how they have such tremendous gifts to bring to the world, and I want them to bring those gifts.

I’m not saying that this approach will forever and always remove anxiety around visibility. Nor am I saying that you won’t sometimes think of yourself, catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror so-to-speak.

What I am saying is that the antidote to what arises in those moments, is to return your attention to the folks who need help, to seeing them with compassion and care and love, and to put yourself in service to them.

Next time you’re facing marketing tasks that require visibility, try it. Feel the anxiety and nervousness with gentleness and compassion for yourself, knowing it’s a normal human reaction, that there is nothing wrong with you.

Then gently turn your attention to the people who need help, and stay focused there, in service, as you move into your marketing task.

With love,

Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.

An in-depth assessment of your business.

You may know about our free online self-assessment, but that may not be enough for where you are. 

If you want a truly hands-on in-depth assessment, so you can know exactly where your business is, what the priorities are in order to develop this year, and your own heart’s relationship to it, why not get an assessment session with me? I have twenty-five years of working with tiny businesses, and my clients say that I have an uncanny ability to see patterns, name what’s going on, and quickly get to the heart of the issue that may be slowing down your business.

I send a questionnaire ahead of time, you send me a TON of information that I go through and digest, and then we have a spacious session for me to ask questions, and for us together to find clarity on your path forward this year.

This could fit a variety of situations:

  • Maybe you’re a DIY type, but it’s really helpful to have a plan to focus on.
  • You’ve gotten a certain distance with your business, but it’s hard to tell which end is up, and what you should really focus on that will help.
  • You’ve been wondering about working more in-depth with me, and this is a bite-sized way to get help and see what it’s like to work with me directly.
  • You have a feeling you need this…
 

There’s details, and a form to fill out, on the website. 

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