I’m relatively new to the conversational style of blogging, and it’s been very alluring to me- meeting folks, connecting, engaging in conversation.
However, one frustration that has cropped up for me is that I do love connecting at a deeper level, if possible. And, when we’re talking about some of my favorite subjects, like marketing (crazy, isn’t it?), there is such richness, depth, joy and details in it, that I tend to want to dive in.
And yet, I’ve found that in commenting on other blogs, I can sometimes get myself in trouble. I’m just starting to see the limits of the blog comments box. Nearly every deeper conversation I’ve started online on a blog ends up being finished offline- in email, on the phone, in person.
This isn’t nearly as true in my online business community The Business Oasis. (Note: the Oasis ended in November 2010.) We have had many profound, intimate, in-depth conversations the really plumb the details of what’s involved with whatever subject we’re talking about, and bringing it through to implementation.
Blogging, and commenting, seems more like a cocktail party conversation. I don’t mean that in a demeaning sense- I think people are incredibly present and available on many levels- but I’m just getting the lightbulb that maybe a blog doesn’t have the container for the deeper conversations. Perhaps because it’s too public. Perhaps because there’s no defined boundary to the community- anyone can jump in.
This isn’t a bad thing- I love the relationships that have started online and deepened offline. But, it’s something to be aware of.
What do you think? What have you found about the limits of online conversation?
7 Responses
Mark –
“Online” is a relatively new social medium, and I think it’s still evolving; the rules and guidelines for what’s expected are very organic.
And each blog or online forum tends to have it’s own self-organizing social dynamic. Some blogs get lots of really lively, rich comments, while others don’t.
I’m not sure you can really say anything too universal about blogs in general or online conversations in general, because there’s such diversity from one to the next.
We get to help shape the personality of online communities through our participation. That’s not so different from offline communities, is it?
The bigger difference is in the medium and rhythm of communication. Writing is, I think, a bit riskier than talking. It’s difficult to know how your words are landing. And response — or worse, silence — is open to interpretation/ misinterpretation, as well.
You have to work a little harder and perhaps take more risk to connect in this new online medium, but in my experience, it’s well worth it. If nothing else, I’ve met people I would never normally have an opportunity to meet, and I’ve been able to see things from perspectives that I couldn’t have imagined on my own.
I just wonder if having certain expectations might be getting in the way of experiencing deeper connection.
Good thought- expectations can always block the truth of an experience.
I also think the public nature of a blog limits the depth, at least for some people. It seems like a private conversation, but it’s not. You comment and I comment, but dozens, or hundreds, of other people could be listening in.
I’m wondering if ‘stage fright’ also plays a part, perhaps even more for some people than whether or not the words are landing with the other person.
I’m not sure writing is riskier than talking. Public speaking is still the #1 fear of most people, above death. 🙂
Hmmm…I can’t say that’s been my experience.
When I leave a comment on someone’s blog, I’m not present to dozens or hundreds of people listening in — usually, I’m thinking about the blogger who wrote the article.
For example, right now it seems like I’m just talking to you and we’re having a friendly, meaningful conversation. Of course, I’m aware that my comments are posted for others to see, but that’s not what’s top-of-mind as I post.
One thing that makes a big difference how a blogger responds to the comments, like you are doing. I think the blog owner sets the tone and creates an atmosphere that either promotes or discourages connection and community.
There’s one blog that I’ve been watching recently where the blogger is meticulous about acknowledging every single post, which is great, but he responds with short, rather formal comments. And his readers tend to leave short, fairly superficial remarks; it doesn’t feel like a real exchange; it feels like a series of stand-alone comments.
I notice that when you respond to a comment, Mark, you almost always offer something that moves the conversation forward; you invite dialog. And while I haven’t checked this out in detail, I have the impression that although you don’t get a huge number of comments, the ones you get seem to be thoughtful exchanges. I think that’s a good reflection of your intention.
It seems like you’re doing a good job of creating an environment where community can get a foothold; maybe it just takes a little time (and a little more traffic) to see real fruit.
BTW, you might be able to encourage more conversation on your blog if you added a comment archive in the left-hand column.
That makes it easier for people to see recent comments and join in, even on previous posts. It gives the conversation more time to develop.
Some good points, Kathy. I’ll be interested to hear what you think of my interview of Dawud on blogging, when it goes up in The Business Oasis in July.
Thanks for the pointers.
I’m not sure what you mean by getting yourself in trouble by commenting. My own experience has been that it is quite easy to get oneself “in trouble” by being slightly critical or challenging a blogger’s position in even the mildest way.
Once you run into the overly defensive responses a few times it makes you think twice about trying to say too much or be too honest about your opinions for fear that it may lead to misunderstandings.
It is interesting that this is just the opposite of, for instance, the type of comments you find in the “letters to the editor” section in most newspapers. There it is almost taken for granted that the point of a letter to the editor is to express some criticism, and the more biting and sharp witted the better.
I’m sure the difference has something to do with the personal nature of a blog, as well as its interactivity. Most bloggers are also amateur writers and not used to having their opinions scrutinized.
Hi Rick-
Good point, I hadn’t thought of that about newsletter editors. I guess I really welcome the pushback.
I think what I was referring to is that sometimes I’ve responded in comments, and I get kind of a breezy ‘good thought!’ or ‘I have a different opinion’ kind of reply- with no questions or desire to go deeper into the issue.
I know that’s not true with all blogs or all situations- I’ve just encountered it a few times, and it’s at odds with other experiences online, for instance, in online forums where there is a great deal of back and forth, conversation, and discussion.
I really liked the insight about the ‘letters to the editor.’ Thanks for adding that in.