Considering the vast number of core spiritual teachings available, one I’ve spent a lot of time on is about competition and comparison. As in, don’t do it. Don’t compare, don’t compete in business, it’s a non-issue.
That said, I get caught up in it lots. The most recent time is the most embarrassing, because I was sitting in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (they call it “special care” to keep parents from freaking out, I suppose), with my little adoptive son Sam on my lap, bottle-feeding him.
His brother David had been slurping down his bottles, lickety-split. But Sam took a loooong time drinking it in, often not even finishing the bottle, so the rest would go down the feeding tube he had at the time.
So I’m sitting there, holding the bottle in his mouth, twisting the bottle, rubbing the roof of his mouth with the nipple, feeling a knot of tension tighten in my belly. “Come on, Sam, drink! Drink!”
Not a wonderful feeling, force-feeding my own son.
I suddenly woke up to the fact that he wasn’t being lazy. He wasn’t resisting. The truth is, he was born premature by some eight weeks, and his body was just needing to develop. At its own pace. Trying to coordinate three very complicated actions– sucking, swallowing, and breathing–is very tiring, and can wipe you out.
Not to mention I found out a few days later that he was anemic and needing a blood transfusion. Very, very normal in a premature infant, and he started going like gangbusters after he got the infusion. But before that, things were a bit rocky.
But They Weren’t Rocky. Not Really.
They were rocky for me, because I thought Sam needed to be where David was, doing things exactly like David. Now, after they’ve both been discharged, it’s kinda ridiculous. So, Sam took three extra days to get out of the NICU and needed a blood transfusion that David didn’t. So what?
What one of the nurses said to us about Sam’s transfusion: “You know, they both have been doing so extraordinarily well that we forget they’re preemies. And they need normal preemie things, like blood transfusions, which they would’ve gotten from their mother if they were still in the womb.”
Are You Force-Feeding Your Business?
It’s a kinda silly question, but I’d like to ask you to take a moment. A loong moment, even in the middle of the panic and fear of the “sky is falling” economy and the “need to pay my mortgage yesterday” panic that may be setting in.
And ask yourself: Are you force-feeding your business? Is your business already doing fantastically well for it’s stage of development?
The three basic Suck-Swallow-Breathe coordinations of business, IMHO, have to do with:
=> Quality service and products. Are you truly offering something that is usable, digestible, and effective for your clients? You may be masterful at what you do- this is no reflection on your skill- but can your clients really use it, and use it easily and effectively?
=> The Three Journeys of Marketing. Effective marketing is a must, and a part of that is understanding that marketing really has Three Journeys to it– it’s not a generic one-size-fits-all-who-show-up.
Have you created and implemented systems, structures and an authentic, effective message for the basic three journeys of your marketing?
=> Money structures. Marketing may be the biggest problem most business owners face, but money is the biggest problem most business owners DON’T face. Time to face it. Getting comfortable with money, finding a bookkeeper and an accountant you like and trust and who will talk in plain-speak to you, is a must. And, taking the time to create a healthy relationship with it all is really important.
Who Are You Racing?
Somebody else’s business probably looks like it’s much further along than yours (although maybe they’re only a few days ahead, really.) First step: acknowledge that you’ve fallen into a competitive mindset, and then come back to your core and your heart.
Once you catch your breath, and find your heart, you can start to look at next steps.
What’s your take on the three Suck-Swallow-Breath? What’s your business needing first?
9 Responses
Hi Mark,
Again congratulations on the two wonderful additions to your family. Thank you for including the picture! It is so interesting how you seem to always write just what i need to hear. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your journey with me. I am learning much from you about business and spirit!
😉
Amy
On twitter @LotusAmy
Amy Miyamoto
Oh my goodness, first that photo! What a sweet little guy. And how amazing to be able to take what was going on for you, take a step back, see it a different way, and THEN turn it into a business lesson.
Thanks Mark, this one’s a good one for me. It helped me really realize that getting all worked up about something being “ahead” of me, doesn’t help me build my business any faster. In fact, it slows me down, wastes a lot of energy, and all I get out of it? Feeling bad.
Shannon Wilkinson
@Amy- Thanks for celebrating with us- and I’m glad that we seem to be sharing a morphic field and that whatever is poking at me that I write about strikes a chord with you, too! This happens so often I’m really trusting that many of us are moving forward, together- definitely meets my needs for hope and inspiration!
You rock.
@Shannon- Isn’t that a great photo! Thank goodness there are two of us, otherwise who could get such a precious photo like that?
The business stuff came up all obvious for me, just because it’s so in my face sometimes. I’m glad it rang true for you and was helpful.
Hi Mark,
Your son looks wonderful. He’s growing and healthy. Yay!!
Reading your article brought back a memory for me when my son, Matt, was a newborn.
When Matt was born he weighed just about 9-pounds. He was a big boy! But for the first couple weeks, the eating thing just wasn’t happening. He wouldn’t breast feed (not for lack of trying on my end) and when we fed him by bottle he was agonizingly slow. It would take an hour or more for him to drink even two -ounces.
He actually lost a pound and a half and I was frantic. I was sure I was going to “break” my baby. There were all sorts of horror movies playing in my mind.
But in about six week, it seems like whatever internal plumbing adjustments had to happened, happened. After that Matt started eating,
…and eating
… and eating
and now he’s taller than me and he’s STILL growing. To say the least food doesn’t last long in our house these days.
Wild to think:
One day David and Sam may be bigger than you and Holly!
One day my my business (which is a five-year old, I can leave it on its own for very short periods but she’ll get in trouble if left for too long.) may be stronger and bigger than me!
Much love and gratitude
Judy
@Judy- great story! I am sure that both your business and our sons will outgrow us all. 😉
Dear Mark – After reading your article in the usual print,writing to you by email and sending the article onward to a my husband and sister in law , I clicked on the link and wow I get to SEE Sam! Ahh- you are such an kind and caring role model for us – thank you thank you, Joanna
p.s. Technology R YOU- the checkmark below must mean my most recent blog is linked. This is where I am still in infancy!
Joanna
@Joanna- I know, pretty cool! We just had a site redesign, thanks to Adam Kayce and he added the last-post plug-in to the blog.
And yes, there is Sam! He’s sitting right by me now, with his brother David, shnoozing after their 1st morning chow-down. 🙂
Just coming to this for the first time — what a beautiful post. Thank you, Mark.
Thank you, Sam, for reminding me of this… the boys are growing so fast, this seems ages ago now.