Strange spiritual contest with impractical poetry prize. Contest rules below.
As I feed my twins and they’ve settled down this early morning, and I can’t help also thinking about my “other child”– Heart of Business. The same way my babies cry, the business cries, and my clients cry. And I cry. We’re all crying because we’re thirsty, we’re needy, and so I’m reminded of a Sufi teaching:
The object is not to drink to quench your thirst. The object is to develop the perfect thirst, so that you never stop drinking.
Related to this quote is a poem by Mohammed Shams al-din Hafez, known in much of the world simply as Hafiz, the mystical Iranian Sufi poet from the 1300’s.
(Translated by Daniel Ladinsky- I recommend his books of Hafiz very highly, especially The Gift.)Don’t surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.
It’s an old, worn, grizzled, painful cliché “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” So forget that. How painful, and how useless to hear that when you’re feeling lonely, thirsty, far from home, far from comfort. When your business, for instance, is far from where you’d like it to be, and your financial outlook looks very scary.
Just this once, resist looking for business strategy tips, or “getting into all-out action.” No trying to fix anything.
Instead, try this: Take the next few minutes, and allow yourself to feel, physically in your body and emotionally in your heart, your neediness and loneliness as it relates to your business. Just breath it in. Make friends with it.
Take your time, don’t rush it. Notice all the corners of your body as the “loneliness cuts more deep.” What happens as you truly make space for the fear and loneliness that are already there?
Next Step: Remember the Divine from that place. Remember that there is a Reality that is far more than you can see. Not trying to fix or deny the loneliness and fear. But Remembering that there is also Love, Allah, HaShem, God, The Divine, Creator.
What happens? What happens?
For me, I feel an agonizing pain and rumble at the bottom of my heart, and in the pit of stomach. Voices try to creep in “Am I going to survive? Will the economy wreck my business? Will I be able to provide for my family? Are we doomed?” Real deep fear and insecurity.
And as I take a moment, another moment, many moments and let myself soften into those feelings, allow them, greet them as the old friends they are, there’s a spaciousness I start to feel in my heart. Hunger and thirst may mean something’s missing, but it also means there’s SPACE.
And then I Remember. And then I notice something else…
Strange Spiritual Contest Rules
If you take on this short exercise, and post what you notice, you may receive a copy of The Gift by Hafiz (if you already have it, you can pass your winning copy on to a friend who needs it.)
Who Gets The Books? I’ll be giving away three copies. Whoever responds to this post with their experience and what they notice about their business afterwards, will be included in the running.
On New Year’s Eve, December 31, by 5pm or so eastern time, I’ll print out the comments, cut up the paper so each comment is on a separate slip, and all the qualifying comments will go into a basket. I’ll then select three, trusting in Divine guidance that those who need them most will win.
I’ll then contact the winners, announce them, and get your address from you privately, to have a book shipped to you.
Fair warning- for ecological reasons I may choose a used book from Amazon’s list, as long as it’s in Very Good or better condition. This way we save on trees, and I may be able to find someone who is shipping the book from near where you live, saving on transportation fuel use.
The Two Intentions of the Contest
The First Intention: To encourage you to really try this exercise. If you’re needing help accessing your heart when you are deep in the loneliness, please download my free workbook, Getting to the Core of Your Business. It will help a LOT.
Of course, my insecurity is coming back in- “What if no one comments? I’ll look like a lonely, useless blogger.” Ahhh… loneliness… breathe… Join me.
The Second Intention: To make all of our vulnerability more public. There is a healing that happens when we can witness each other in our vulnerability, in our neediness. And know that we’re not the only ones who are lonely. In showing the loneliness, it helps us all feel a little less lonely.
Your Turn Now.
1) For you, what do you notice, as you let the loneliness cut more deep?
2) What happens for you when you remember the Divine in the loneliness?
3) What do you notice about your business, and/or life, and/or economy afterwards?
You have until 5pm eastern, December 31. Let the loneliness commence.
Update! We have the winners from among the commenters below: Yael, Zane, and Jenn. Congrats!
And, if you missed the deadline. It’s still worth doing. Just read the comments.
9 Responses
Hi Mark,
I was just getting ready for yoga when I saw your post and started reading. The poem – so soft yet piercing – stripping away the illusions of independence and strength.
I was amazed at how quickly the emotions surfaced and how deep they ran inside of me. I felt very lonely and insecure, like there is no way I’ll be able to accomplish my intended goals for 2009 (financial, physical, and spiritual stability and strength). It felt like a very dark space in my heart. And soft tears from some deep vulnerable place that I rarely visit.
And then I brought in the Divine Presence, and within seconds, that inner place changed. It remained just as dark, but there was a comforting, strong presence in the dark with me; I was no longer alone. Although the possibility of failure was still there, and the feelings of inadequacy remained, there was also a support in the loneliness, in the darkness, a very comforting presence. And with that inner Presence, the darkness and loneliness were no longer scary or things I need to eliminate – but messengers of healing, offering me the wisdom I need to make this journey.
Now to learn to hear and access that wisdom from these dark, scary places.
Thank you for reminding me of the value of admitting and even embracing our frailties.
I have been practicing loving my loneliness and fear of what will be. It has been a daily practice – well, I don’t have much choice do I… It’s either that, or pretend otherwise, and I dont’ have energy for that.
After practicing this morning, I got clarity and went into action step mode, which felt empowering.
Then I read your post. Going deeper into the loneliness felt scary – “What? Am I stirring up old pain again, needlessly? After I have already been meeting it today? Aren’t I wallowing?”
I just let that be there, and connected to the dark place. It’s a womb space. I call it the Black Swan. I surrender to it.
What I notice on the other side is a greater willingness to express my authenticity and follow the plans I really want to follow. Well, what do I have to lose? Can’t figure things out either way.
Ask me in another week, I may have more to report. Thanks for sharing in vulnerability. I am sure that this is a point of power.
Just reading your blog makes me feel supported, as I see I am not alone in this journey. That is a great feeling of comfort.
The scariest thought – most painful for me is to fear not being able to pay the contractor for the rest of the house construction payment I owe him. Scarier than that, is to admit that deep down, I don’t want to pay – meaning – I’d rather stay a victim, play a drama, than let the unknown draw me and guide me.
Even though it is icky and dramatic and painful to not be able to come through, there are so many easy stories to tell about it e.g. economy, blah blah.
Yet deep down, I know better than that. Feeling the separation between my “knowing” and my fears is what feels so lonely.
what do you mean i’m not the only one who is lonely? that is preposterous! all those other lonely wanna be’s are just fronting so they can win the book! won’t they be surprised when they see that it offers them no way out!
well…okay…maybe my cat is lonely.
charles
Oh, I’m always game for this sort of thing… 🙂
I’ll admit, I’ve actually been in a more optimistic/hopeful place than a lonely one lately, but there are still fears that linger outside my window, and I’ve been loathe to invite them inside.
[reminder to self: whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger…]
When I let it ‘cut more deep’, I can feel how, if I had no other guidance to listen to, it could swallow me whole.
My wisdom/connection/sense of truth tells me otherwise, though… I know
Mark,
Good morning. Thank you for this post. It’s a great, maybe the near-perfect, post to end 2008 and begin 2009.
“Aha! Somebody gets it. Somebody’s been through this process.”
Staring into the abyss, embracing the fear the darkness, diving into it, not backing away or looking away…it’s very frightening. At first. And then there’s the acceptance (breathe, breathe) and then I realize, ok, it’s not as terrible as I imagined, really, and there’s some good things to work with here, that I can use to get out, reach my goals, (and now, here, with nothing I can speak my goals) and inevitably the light and hope and a plan, strategy and tactics, result.
Having been through a few transitions in my life or periods of ‘delayed rewards’ I discovered this process. The fear is still the same. The light only truly emerges after diving into the dark, embracing the fear, looking around in it. I used to call this my ‘what-if’ or ‘worst-case’ scenario…I’d ask myself if this happened could I survive? What would I learn, how could I avoid it, where would I go, what options would be there.
But your description better describes the depth and the power of this process when you, I, truly let go and stop fighting the fear.
Going through now and in the past has made me better, stronger, clearer, washed away sins, taught me compassion and forgiveness for myself and then others.
Thanks. Have a great new year!
Zane Safrit
Ok, let me start out with a sentence or two about why this post touched me right square in the eyes.
My business is going through a transition – a transition into simplicity. I’m not good at simplicity so this has been a bit stressful. See, I have this need to “fix” things for everyone… when I see someone suffering, it’s my impulse to reach out and try to “fix” it for them.
As heart-centered entrepreneurs, I’m sure you all can empathize.
It has come to my attention recently that my business doesn’t want to be all things to all people. My business has tried to tell me this, its tried to tell me that it’s ok to not be all things to all people, and that I really shouldn’t be.
*sigh*
So I finally acknowledged it, and I’m moving in that direction.
Mark, your post came at the perfect time. Giving me the most wonderful excuse to really sink into the feeling that my business is abandoning me – to sink into this loneliness I’m feeling…
So, I went into Remembrance and I let that loneliness come on in… and cut deep. Yowza. It was way uncomfortable. Way.
It felt really dark – and a little unnerving. But then! As I surrendered – I saw a light! Well, more like a sparkly glimmer!
And so I lovingly brought that front and center. And when I did, it felt welcoming – like my business telling me that it’s ok that I *want* to be all things to all people… that that’s a good quality to have. But that, for my own sanity, and the sanity of the people that really need what I’m offering, it’s so much better to focus on just this thing that I’m really good at.
And – I don’t have to ditch the wanting to help – I can keep it because it will actually come out in other ways.
This whole process breaks open a beautiful, expansive space for me.
In this space – my expertise is free to shine – and it’s not hindered by that awful trying to be all things to all people.
It feels spacious, gracious, and simple. And peaceful. And clear.
What I’ve noticed since I did this process yesterday morning is, a welcome simplicity – everywhere in my business.
I feel like a weight has lifted. I feel like the clouds have parted. I feel like I’m at the top of a mountain seeing very, very clearly the entire landscape of my business. WHOA.
But instead of feeling overwhelming, it feels… clear. Like, even though it’s big and spacious, it’s also peaceful, and the way forward is totally clear.
YAY!
Wow.
Ok – gotta be honest – I would LOVE to have one of the books of poetry.
However, just sharing here so candidly is a wonderful experience – thanks for opening it up Mark!
Jenn Givler
I’m loving these responses! I had to go through this again this morning… pain, pain, more pain, and then the opening.
Maybe still being in Ohio is a blessing? Hmmm…
There’s still a good bit of the day left- looking to see who else jumps in. 🙂
Okay, I just did my super-duper, prayer, random-selection and tha winnahs are:
Yael
Jenn
Zane
Thanks for playing, folks. I’ll be contacting you privately for your mailing address. And, keep connecting with that loneliness!