I was reading this post over at Copylicious, and I decided I was going to blog about my own bad customer service experience during our recent vacation at the coast. Bad, very bad customer service.
Here’s the set-up: we’ve been working hard for a long time, culminating with running the Path to Profitability Retreat as well as diving headlong into our adoption process whereby twins are arriving Very Soon Now. So, naturally, Holly and I decided to go to the beach for the week following the Retreat, for what is likely to be the last just-the-two-of-us vacation for some years to come.
We rented a house in our favorite sleepy Oregon coast town, Manzanita, from a vacation rental company we’ve used before. We chose the house online, and then spoke to one of their agents, who convinced us to take this house over another, saying how much nicer it was. We also asked really specifically about how old the construction was, because new construction offgases something miserable, and Holly gets sick from environmental toxins. (Well, we all do, but she gets really sick.)
We finished the Retreat Tuesday mid-day, and arrived at the beach that evening, exhausted, happy, ready to loll around.
The long and the short of it was that: the house made Holly sick, which took a full day, two nights, to figure out, because we couldn’t distinguish “toxic sick” from “just plain tired” until then. And, the first morning, bright and early, a whole construction crew showed up and started building a house one door over from us.
Sick wife. House FILLED with construction noise- impossible to rest, relax, or nap without earplugs.
The rental company would do nothing for us. Nothing. They didn’t know how to give empathy to us for our situation- they just looked down at the floor and refused to meet our eyes when I walked in with my upset. And despite giving a tremendous amount of NVC empathy to the owner whom I eventually spoke to, she remained completely inflexible and unwilling to try to fix anything. She said her hands were tied, that the the owner of the rental house already had our money, and she couldn’t do anything.
Well, we moved out, and rented a very lovely place several blocks closer to the beach that overlooked the ocean and had a wonderful time the rest of the week. Although whenever I thought of the rental company I felt angry, because my needs for care, empathy, and responsibility weren’t met. I was thinking: “They took our money!”
For some moments (before I could return to my heart) I was filled with such anger and helplessness that they took our money, and weren’t even willing to empathize with us. I get that she was scared and didn’t have the communication tools, but hey, I can’t imagine this is the first time they’ve dealt with a customer upset.
They chose to create inflexible policies, refuse to budge, and to stonewall customer complaints: “Our hands are tied.”
And here’s the kicker.
When we got home from our lovely vacation, there was a phone message from the rental company, saying they had called the rental home owner, and they had agreed to refund us the nights we didn’t stay there, and they were sending us a check.
And then she said: “And I doubt if we have any homes that would meet your needs in the future.” Basically, she was telling us to go away and never come back. And we won’t.
The Customer Service Lesson
Can you imagine a different way she could’ve handled this? Wow, if she had taken just a few minutes to empathize with me: “Wow! That sucks! Construction right next to the house, and your wife is sick… I’m so sorry to hear that! ugh. Well, we have these policies, and because the home owner has your money already, I’m not sure if we can do anything, but let me see what we can do.”
Then, she could’ve had the same conversation with the homeowner, and refunded the same money she did anyway. And since we’ve successfully stayed in one of their company’s homes before, we know they have homes that are safe for us, toxic-wise.
And instead of pissing us off, and losing a repeat customer, she could’ve had a customer for life. I mean, we’re having twins, and we have friends with kids, and we’ve talked about going to the beach as a group, and renting a house.
But not from them, not now. There are other options.
The Take-Away For You
Don’t be afraid of client complaints. People just want empathy, even the angriest, most upset, most scary clients. And, you know if they complain loudly enough, or get upset enough you’ll refund them anyway. Give empathy, work with them, and the long-term relationship with that client will pay you back many, many times.
8 Responses
Really great perspective and first person story Mark. I connected deeply with your story as I’ve had similar issues with toxic hotel rooms and workplaces. And you are dead-on, a little empathy goes a long, long way! Thank you for sharing!
Holy shit, I can’t believe they told you to not come back!
I guess there are people in the world who are so uncomfortable with confrontation that they’d rather lose business than risk dealing with it again. But jeez, with your NVC skills, you must have been the most compassionate upset customer they’d ever had. I’ve never had an upset customer empathize with *me*. That would be awesome. =)
An it isn’t just your business she is losing. Now instead of saying “there is this great company, and even when things go wrong they really help fix it”, you are going to be actively warning people away from them. She is crazy (in a business sense).
My dad was a small businessman and though he didn’t explicitly try to teach me about business, I got a very clear message that service is everything.
@Jessica- You’re so welcome, and it’s the worst, isn’t it, when it’s a hotel and such, because there you are, stuck! Oy…
@Emma- I know, it’s unbelievable, isn’t it? Sometimes I wonder whether people really want to be in business…
@JoVE- It’s true. She was going to have repeat business from us, and referral business, but now… I only don’t mention the company name because I don’t want bad karma on me, but if anyone asks me personally about a Manzanita vacation home rental company, I’ll be telling them where not to go… And I hate to be that way.
It’s funny how just a little bit of kindness goes a long way especially when you, as a merchant, are enclosing a check.
I just had a similar experience. I did my best to relay my feelings to the provider and felt unheard. The upshot was she refunded a portion of my money with a nasty note as well as a caution to never contact her again.
The thing was her material was brilliant and I had referred many people to her with similar issues. I was a raving fan.
I still think she is a genius as far as her professional material is concerned and has a lot to offer. I am no longer a fan though and feel sad about the way things ended.
@Char- miserable! And, for people like that, what they are forgetting is that not everyone is as polite as you or I, and won’t mind trumpeting their experience, with the business’ name, all over the place.
If had been in a bad mood, and didn’t care about incurring bad karma, I could’ve set up a blog told my story, and I could’ve SEO’d up the wazoo, and every time someone searched for their company, my blog would’ve showed up, potentially higher than they did in the search.
What would that do to their business? As I said, I don’t want to incur that kind of karma, so I would never do that. But others just might.
Mark
No wonder you got pissed. Man, I got pissed just reading about it. Pardon my french, but what a crock of shit – not only did they lie to you in the first place but they refused to fix a problem that occured because of it. In a lot of places (certainly here), such a thing is illegal.
I wish I could say I was ‘surprised’, but I think one the most interesting realizations is that people are people first and job titles second. I’m sure there are as many wonderful, compassionate prison guards as there are horrible, abusive doctors, saints and ‘healers’.
One of the things I like about Rosenberg’s (and why I prefer it in it’s original title – Non Violent Communication) is that it makes very clear that while connection, empathy and listening are important, so too is not being a doormat. The aikido analogy of ‘redirect and return what is given’ encapsulates that.
Not saying you’re a doormat, but…man…if you want to name names, then name names. Don’t feel forced into a position of ‘turn the other cheek’
I could be wrong. YMMV.
@kbits- I hear ya. I was strongly tempted to “name names” in this blog post. The reason I didn’t is because I didn’t think it would serve anything. If someone is thinking of renting a home in Manzanita, Oregon, you’re welcome to contact me privately and ask for referrals- I’m happy to send you to companies I support.
However, with a global readership, and with the fact that we’ve actually had several good interactions with the same company in previous years, it just didn’t seem justified to drag their name through the mud. I’ve made mistakes myself, and I’ve appreciated the kindness and compassion when I’ve been met with them.