So you struggle over getting all the details just right, like pricing and timing, and all the other features included in your offers so your best clients will buy from you. So why aren’t they buying?
It’s because all of those details are actually the least important part of a purchasing choice.
One common misconception says that human beings make choices based on what’s best for them, but that falls apart really quickly in the aftermath of several empty tubs of ice cream, as you hold your stomach and groan, “Why did I do that again?!?”
There’s a slightly more sophisticated version, which says that we make choices based on emotions, flinging rationality out the window. Well, this has a little more truth, but how many times have you, or someone you know, seesawed back and forth on a decision, unable to come to grips with it? Emotions do form a big part of who we are, but we aren’t run by them.
The truth is, there is no one particular way we make choices. Our decision-making apparatus is complex with many different variables wired in. There are many eminent cognitive scientists who can speak in much more detail than I can, so I’m just going to paint the picture with three broad strokes so that you understand how our choices cascade and in what order the variables apply.
Yes, that’s right: the variables apply in a certain order. Humans make decisions in a cascading manner. When a choice is presented to one of us thinking bipeds, there is something we consider first, then second, then third. So what are those things?
The One-Two-Three of Your Customers’ Decisions
The first thing any human looks for in a decision is an answer to this question: “Does it match my identity? Will this decision put me inside or outside my ‘clan’?”
Belonging is such a deep, primal need. And no wonder. We human beings are not very adept at surviving on our own. First of all, we like company. Second, we?re not really well equipped to survive in the face of predators, and so there’s safety in numbers.
Being ostracized from your community is tantamount to death. No wonder it’s our first priority. So, when faced with any choice, the very first thing we?re thinking is: “If I do this, do I risk losing my tribal membership?” Here’s how an executive of a global corporation explained it to a consultant I know: “We’ve come to the conclusion that our customers make their decisions exclusively on their values.” Values are things you believe in or hold dear. And where do values come from? They mostly come from your community, your close-in circles. It’s a way of identifying who you belong to, by identifying what you care about.
This is the single most important consideration in any decision. Remember this, because the need for identity is the foundation of why Worldview is so important to your business.
If you want proof of whether this is correct or not, take a look at how consistently wars have happened throughout history. Whatever the reason the leaders had for starting a war, soldiers choose to risk their lives because of patriotism–defense of the community. Unhealthy lifestyle choices can fit into the same category. The ego can identify so strongly with things like smoking or drinking or extreme sports that it won?t let go, even when facing the likelihood of dying. Identity is the trump card in the human decision-making tree.
And Numbers Two and Three in the Hierarchy of Choice?
The second choice in the decision-making hierarchy, once it passes the tribal test, is “Do I need or want what this choice will bring me?” Personal choice and need comes more into play once your very identity is no longer at risk. What you want for dinner, what you want to achieve in life, what color iPod you want all fall into this second level of choice.
There is a strong distinction between need and want–generally want is more powerful than need except in extreme cases. You can see this when someone has a heart attack and they quickly quit smoking and start eating a healthy diet. But as the event fades into the past, they fall more and more easily back into their desires for bacon and mashed potatoes with melted butter, instead of the brussels sprouts and broccoli that will help keep them alive.
Finally the choice come down to: “Okay, this decision keeps me in the clan, and I want or need it. Now, is it possible for me? Do I have the resources to make this choice?” Logically, you would expect the possibility to come second instead of last, but that’s a testament to human ingenuity and persistence. We first figure out if we need or want something, and then we see if it’s possible.
Don’t Get Stuck on the Third Choice
When your customers aren’t buying, it’s often easiest for you as a business owner to go to that third choice: “Can I make it more affordable for my customers?” Sometimes, if business owners have thought it through a little more or have had some marketing training, they’ll climb one higher on the decision tree, putting more intention to helping a client decide whether they want or need the offer.
Very few businesses spend time deciding which world they live in and which world their best clients live in. But the ones who do see results. Let me give you some pointers.
Keys to Implementing the Hierarchy of Choice
• When Do You Want to Buy What You Don’t Need?
Look for websites, stores and other businesses that make you feel like you belong there. Look for offers of products and services that you don’t need and yet are compelling to you just because you want to get close to the person or business.
That may sound strange, but you know it happens. Like my client who admitted that she just liked being in Starbucks even though she doesn’t like the coffee so much. Or someone else I know who was tempted to sign up for a course she didn?t need just because the person offering it was someone she wanted to hang out with.
Find those businesses, however rare they may be, that do that for you.
• Why Do You Want To Shnuggle Up?
What about those businesses is so compelling to you? Print out one of their web pages, or remember an interaction with them and go over it in detail. What specific things help you feel so comfortable?
I’m going to guess that a big part of it has to do with two things. The first is how they use language and the second is the aesthetic look and feel of the business.
• And Your Business?
Comb through at least one of your website pages or brochures or whatever you are doing to present your business out in the world. Is it representing your values? Is it doing those little things, language-wise and aesthetically, that are going to help your people feel at home?
It may seem artificial, but those bits and bobs are actually representations of your core values, of how you see the world and what you believe in. And that’s not artificial at all, that’s profound.
I was emailing with the owner of a website who was selling beautiful organic cotton bedding, yet her website was all square corners. I suggested that at the very least she bring in some rounded edges, because there’s a whole aesthetic to helping express core values of comfort, rest, and ease. And sharp corners don’t do it.
Start infusing those bits and bobs into your business. It may seem odd that the way you decorate, or a turn of phrase that is uniquely you would be more important than the specific details of your offer, but they are.
As you bring more and more of your community and your values into your business, I bet you’ll find more and more people shnuggling up, sticking around and becoming customers.
Do you have examples of businesses you like so much that you feel like you belong to the same clan?
27 Responses
I didn’t read this article until a few months after it was posted, so I don’t remember how I ran across it 🙂 But however it happened, this insight has been really helpful to me, even in ways unrelated to my business.
On the personal side, my husband and I have gone back and forth numerous times on whether to make an offer on a particular house. Having read this article, I think I now see why we can’t make up our minds–the house and neighborhood, which are beautiful, just don’t match who we are (or at least, who I am). Our lives are just more casual and eclectic than the manicured environment of the subdivision. As you point out, the price is very important but in this case, I finally see that it’s really not what’s driving our (in)decision.
Second, I’ve been thinking about establishing a Web site, and your insights have given me a place to start. I’ve been worried about how to make it polished and professional (both still important), but now I understand that the site really has to be a place where potential customers feel comfortable, i.e., where they feel “at home” and that their needs will be met by working with me.
Bottom line: Your post has given me a new way to think about some important things. Thanks!
@Ms. Lurker 🙂 thank you so much! The mysteries of links- I’m glad this helped you, especially with such a big decision as a house purchase.
And good luck with the website! Let us know how it goes. You may want to check out Creating Heart-Centered Websites. Or not… Just if it looks useful to you.
Thanks for coming by- I hope we get to see you again.
Interesting… I’ve been a hairdresser for 31 years and I can tell you what you’re saying is true by what I see in my business. Our clients reflect ourselves. I learned a long time ago that perception is half the battle. If a service or product is perceived to be of high value, it usually is. That starts in our own heads. I dress beautifully and professionally for work. I attract a clientele that either is successful or wants to be. I do not attract someone looking for a bargain or someone who is intimidated by luxury. My clients are drawn to me by 1, the quality of my work
2,my excellent customer service,3 what other things we may have in common (politics, faith, family) I guess that’s what you mean by “tribe”. I am starting to sell my wares of a whole other interest of mine and I can see what your saying will relate to that as well….Thanks!
Yes- exactly! Nicely described- and I’m jazzed that you are expanding into a new interest and that it maps over there, too. Very cool. I wish you the best with it.
Mark, just got turned on to your site by one of my licensees (coaching) and I really love what you’ve done with your practice and message.
Keep up the great work!
Best,
Eric
.-= Eric Beck´s last blog ..Why Learning = Survival in the New Economy! =-.
Thanks, Eric! Nice to meet you. And- you were with Canadian Brass? Very, very cool. Nice to have you around.
Hi,
I found your site on a link from IttyBiz.
I really enjoyed this post, although I’m not so sure about the “need to stay in the tribe” as first priority.
But I’d put it as number 3. Especially if the item being considered solves a real problem for the prospective purchaser.
Cheers, Eric G.
Hi Eric
Thanks for coming by. I can understand you being reluctant to put “tribe” at number one. However, the VP of marketing of a global corporation, whose name you would recognize, once said, “We’ve come to the conclusion that our customers buy not just partially, but entirely based on their values.”
The extrapolation from that is that if your values and your clients’ values don’t fit, you’ll probably lose them.
It’s a somewhat unconscious decision-making process, which is why it’s not often as visible.
Wow, what a fantastic post, Mark. I found you through a tweet from Etsy’s @daniellexo . I absolutely love your tribe idea, and it’s such a relief to see that articulated so well here. I think this is the missing link that I’ve been looking for when I step back and look at my business, trying to create the right atmosphere in my on-line shop, and especially now that I’ve started a new blog. I always hear about describing your “target market” and that term sounds so, I don’t know, sterile and impersonal. It creates a barrier for me to even figure out who those people are. If I think of them in terms of my tribe, though… now that I can do. “Tribe” makes it feel more like my own people. I like that. Thanks so much!
Tribe’s a good one, eh?
And welcome! Glad you came’round. That @daniellexo has been bringing us some good juju over at Etsy. Deep gratitude for her for sharing the goods.
Have fun with your Etsy shop there!
Hi Mark
With respect to a place in the cyberspace that makes me feel at home, well, I should say that your website does that for me.
I really feel my heart opening and relaxing here 🙂
While reading I couldn’t help but remember Caroline Myss saying about the first chakra,: our roots, our tribe, the place we stand upon, where we belong.
I see those needs relate to the development of a human being through the ascension of the energy of the chakras, What do you think?
Lots of love and thanks for your inspiration
Charo
Hi Charo- Interesting thought. My tradition doesn’t focus on chakras, so I’m not sure how your thought applies. I’ll take your word for it. 🙂
Thank you for your kind words.
This is good. Have you read Seth Godin’s book, Tribes?
Thank you. And yes, I’ve read most of Seth’s books. I wrote this originally long before that book came out- and he’s so eloquent and complete with the thought.
I think Trust is a really big one in purchasing decisions. Often times, I will go buy something and mentally note what all I was looking for. These steps are usually it:
1. Is this what I am looking for?
2. What else is there? Does it have all the stuff/features I want?
3. What’s the price? Is the value justified?
4. Can I trust this decision? Can I return this if I need to? Is this company worth it or have reputation of good product?
Especially for online purchases, my main concern is I don’t get jipped by fly-by-night sites. I make sure they are established and credible.
hi-ya, awesome post.
Thank you. I got here thanks to an article on Etsy, and while reading it I already changed some things in the description of one of my paintings.
So glad it was helpful, Dina!
Thank you so much for your article. I have been selling on Etsy for awhile now and my frustrations have to do with the fact that Etsy who won
Hi Kay- there’s not much you can do if people won’t recognize it. Sometimes the manner in how you ask can make a difference, and if you can talk to someone live, or if you can get many people to speak up. Probably the last one would be the most effective. Good luck!
Mark,
I really enjoyed this post. I came across it in Etsy’s top 21 resources of 2010. I am compiling a list of links to send to my best friend who is starting a new business and this was perfect. The 3 steps are dead on. I went to a favorite website and the steps were there. I love this article and plan to start using these tips in my own business. Thank you.
Hi Adrienne- so glad it was helpful- and thanks for passing it on- I hope it’s useful for your friend too!
Great post. A very convincing article on what influences us when we make our decisions. This certainly adds to the bargaining methods that I use in selling. Many Thanks!
Thanks for the great pointers! I know my online shop needs a lot of work, and this article gives me a good starting point to branch off of!
This is an excellent article and very informative. But speaking from my own experience. I make my buying decisions based on price first, then I always like to buy from well known businesses.
I’ve bought from lesser known businesses in the past, because there products have been cheaper, but the service I received wasn’t very good.
I often have problems with my business, especially the prospective client of mine who did not buy my products, hopefully with your explanation, I can develop it again in my business
thanks Mark
A very enlightening article on how we make our choices. The purchasing decision of people based on need/want first instead of price will really turn-around my mindset on selling. Thank you so much for this helpful information.