Three people died after participating in a sweat lodge at a nine thousand dollar “spiritual warrior” retreat led by James Arthur Ray, a self-appointed motivational speaker, who appeared in the law of attraction movie, “The Secret.” The allegations are that a culture of pressure from the leader to “break through limitations” coupled with a poorly constructed sauna they called a “sweat lodge” and too many participants contributed to the deaths.
I’ve been sitting with this incident for two weeks now, reading insightful commentary from folks like Duff McDuffee and responses from the Native American community. Various Native Americans have spoken out against the way the sweat lodge was performed, calling it “dangerous” both in the construction and in not encouraging people to make their own decisions about when they might need to exit.
My heart goes out to the families and all those involved in such a tragically misguided incident. There’s a lot to be said here, but I want to focus on only one thing in this article, because it’s relevant for your business.
The “Next” Level?
One of the most frequently heard phrases in the small business development and coaching arena is “get to the next level.” It’s become fairly common to want to “push through limitations” and “break out of limited thinking.”
Some of this quite naturally comes as survival reaction: if your business isn’t making enough money, then you don’t eat. If you’re in survival mode, of course you want to get to a place of stability where you can be fairly certain of food, clothing and shelter.
I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about this urge to have breakthroughs. So let’s talk about what defines breakthrough?
Breakthrough or Spiritual Rebirth?
The Oxford American Dictionary defines “breakthrough” as “a significant and dramatic overcoming of a perceived obstacle, allowing the completion of a process.” It sounds fairly innocuous, and the example the dictionary uses doesn’t sound so bad: “The union’s agreement was the key breakthrough on pay and conditions.”
But that’s not what the self-improvement gurus are talking about. Using a word like “breakthrough” that is applicable in so many situations can be misleading. The “breakthroughs” being referred to by folks like James Ray and others are really processes of spiritual death and rebirth. The participants of Ray’s retreat paid a high price to learn about wealth and abundance, and they were told they needed to enter a new reality through extreme rituals to accomplish it
Spiritual paths the world over have a way of talking about these kinds of experiences. Often words like “death” and “annihilation” are included. When the union gets you a pay hike, you have more money in your pocket. When you have a spiritual or existential rebirth, reality shifts and you suddenly experience it differently. Things falls away, other things come in. Worlds blur.
Spiritual death. Rebirth. Change on a major scale. Not something to be dealt with lightly.
Rebirth Is Not An Escape
One of the key teachings in Sufism is about surrender and acceptance. One quote from the teachings of my lineage says, “If you don’t love all of My creation, then you don’t truly love Me.” Another teaching present in many spiritual paths forbids suicide, because it is an ultimate act of rejecting the Divine gift of life.
As a paramedic, I responded to an accident on a lonely, windy two-lane road where a pickup truck had rolled over and the cab had been sheared off at the level of the hood. As we rolled up, I said to a firefighter already on the scene, “Well, I guess this is another DOA (dead on arrival.)”
“Nah, there’s the driver over there. We can’t get him to put down his cell phone.” I was shocked; everyone in the pickup survived without a scratch. That contrasted in my mind with all the seemingly minor accidents where someone, through an unlucky twist of fate, wasn’t so lucky..
I use these extreme examples to illustrate a point: no matter what we do, we’re not really in control of life or death.
This also applies to things like businesses and projects, as well as spiritual states, each of which has a life and a presence of its own.
Your Reality Is Alive
Whatever reality you are experiencing right now, it is invested with the Divine quality of life. This is reflected in the language of different spiritual paths when they refer to “dying to this life” or being “reborn” or having a “spiritual birth day.”
Let me make this really clear: trying to force a breakthrough such as a spiritual death and rebirth is akin to suicide. Are you sure you’re right about how long that reality needs to live or when it’s time for it die?
You can do a lot of work with your beliefs and understandings, you can prepare yourself for change. But the change itself, the death of your current reality and the “breakthrough” into a new reality is not in your hands.
Our culture is addicted to breakthroughs, because we have done so little work on concepts like acceptance and surrender.
Here’s a question: If you never did any better than you have to this point, how would that feel? Can you still find love, acceptance and contentment with that reality?
Copping To My Own Push
We’re in the process of further developing Heart of Business’ capacity to serve. We’ve gone through some major growth, and it looks like more is in store over the next couple of years.
This has required me to face all kinds of limitations, beliefs and understandings within myself. I’ve been working hard to help it grow.
However, what I’ve returned to again and again every time I come up against a limitation is this: acceptance. Surrender. Be where I am. Find the love right *here,* not somewhere else.
I’ve come to understand that the process of spiritual death and rebirth is not about getting you where you choose to go. It tends to come instead after reaching a profound acceptance and surrender to where you are right now. And sometimes it doesn’t come then either. The point is, you aren’t choosing where you are going and you aren’t choosing when it happens. You aren’t in control. You don’t “stick it out a little longer” because you have the power to make something to “happen.”
Thankfully when you find that profound acceptance, you don’t care. That is perhaps a more profound breakthrough than making it to any “next level” as our desires for success might define it.
Preparing the way for a breakthrough can be a useful practice as long as you aren’t trying to make it happen. Here are some pointers I’ve gleaned over the years from both my tradition and other spiritual teachers I respect.
Keys to Breakthrough Preparation
- Love the Plateau
George Leonard, in his beautiful little book Mastery, talks about the plateau in reference to his martial arts training. He explains how television shows have accustomed us to expect high-drama events every five to ten minutes, with a resolution at the end of an hour.
Life is a lot less exciting. He tells us that often you just “keep showing up on the [martial arts] mat” for months, even years, without seeing a high-drama event or a breakthrough. I had the same experience when I fenced competitively. And as a business person.
Question: How can you cultivate appreciation, acceptance and enjoyment for where you are in your life and business right now?
- Let Go of More
There’s a story of a rich merchant who was also a zen master. He spent every night imagining all of his wealth and belongs burning up in a fire, leaving him with nothing.
Breakthroughs are often sought in order to have more, but going through a death is about having less. Having nothing, in fact.
Question: What would it be like if everything you have worked for were to disappear? Imagine that? Can you find love even there?
- Work Your Business
Helping your business work better doesn’t have to include spiritual enlightenment or some big psychological breakthrough. Simply the spiritual container of love and acceptance can deepen your presence in what you’re doing.
The life and reality you are living right now is fueled by the Love and Life pouring in from its source, the Divine. Your business challenges are not evidence of a need for a breakthrough.
They are evidence of a need for love, compassion and surrender. And maybe to take a look at what your business is truly needing.
From the tragic deaths at the James Arthur Ray retreat, to the horrible fear-provoked stumbling of our economic systems, to the various wars and violences we have imposed on our environment and each other, it is more than evident that many of us are full with craving to escape our situations.
Your business can thrive. I ask that we all join together in supporting a culture of surrender and acceptance, rather than a culture seeking escape. May our businesses thrive in love, generosity, and the grounded practical work that makes up the sweet routine of our daily lives.
42 Responses
Mark: Thank you for offering an alternative to that Play Bigger mentality that’s so pervasive in the small-business and personal-development world. And for your heartfelt, thought-provoking post exploring this issue. Amen to a culture of thriving rather than escape; compassion and acceptance rather than pushing for breakthroughs; showing up, showing up, over time.
.-= Janet Bailey´s last blog ..Approaching the inbox
Dear Mark
What an inspiring message one I needed to hear!
Surrender and acceptance, two words I want in front of me all the time – thank you
Peace
Dear Mark,
this is so spot on!
Just this morning I made a commitment to myself that all I am asking of me is “To Show Up As My Best Self I Can Be In This Moment”.
Moving away from the want to be ‘perfect’ and into acceptance to who and where I am right now.
Thank you for pointing out that this is the right path to follow!
Marianne
Dear Mark,
Thank you for your authentic and clear-minded words. I honour you as a man of integrity and strength – for your willingness to stand up for the Truth and against the commercial, egoic hi-jacking of our spiritual traditions.
30 years ago I practised the techniques that have been popularised by The Secret to bring me material and financial prosperity. They work. But along with the materialisation of my desires came several “stings in the tail” that brought great pain to myself and several others.
In 1992 I realised that my continued indulgence in the psychic arts could lead to someone’s death in order to fulfill my egoic ambition. I was fortunate. I walked away and was graced to receive the higher teachings that bless my life today.
I have also been in various workshops and retreats in which we were encouraged to “push through to a breakthrough”. I have witnessed fairly extreme manipulative abuse handed out by the group leaders in the name of “enlightenment” and have myself been on the receiving end.
It sometimes took me a considerable period of time to get my mind and emotions clear after exposure to such environments.
The remarkable aspect of these experiences is that I believe the leaders were well-intentioned. I do not believe there was evil intent, but rather ignorance of the power they were playing with and the potential damage they could inflict on their students. They are like “one-eyed men in the land of the blind”.
My greatest wish for James Ray is that he may follow in the footsteps of the Tibetan saint, Milarepa, who renounced the power of magic and went on to live an exemplary life of devotion.
Milarapa turned his immense personal power over to devotion and service to Truth and brought a bright light to the world. I found the following quote that seems starkly relevant:
“”If you do not acquire contentment in yourselves,
heaped-up accumulations will only enrich others.
“If you do not obtain the light of Inner Peace,
mere external ease and pleasure will become a source of pain.
“If you do not suppress the Demon of Ambition,
desire for fame will lead to ruin and to lawsuits.”
Milarepa
I am also reminded of the words of Jesus, who made reference to acceptance and surrender when he said, “I of myself can do nothing. It is the father within who does these things.” and “Not my will, but thine be done”.
with love always,
Leo
The ‘new level’ usually seems to me to be just more of the same. People are so sure of what it will be like – if so it can’t be that new.
I truly believe that it is acceptance that is the way to genuine change.
.-= Evan´s last blog ..Seven Questions About Strength and Weakness =-.
Mark, your message came at exactly the right time. It’s a message I’ve been hearing repeatedly lately…. It’s time to pay attention! Thank you for your insights and your beautiful words.
Thank you for this, Mark. I’ve gone through phases wondering if I was “playing small” because I had no desire to “Uplevel” my business. I felt deeply that my best approach for contentment was to feel gratitude for all that my business (and my life) is. Acceptance, surrender, and appreciation have been the quiet ways I’ve felt my business, and my contentment, grow. It is so reassuring to have someone like you urging us all to be heart-centered. So again, thanks!
Mark,
I always love your blog posts because I can read them at so many levels. At the moment I’m at my pre-breakfast level so I wasn’t quite ready to ponder “spiritual annihilation.” Perhaps after my bagel 🙂
Since going through my own recovery process with an eating disorder, I’ve become a big fan of the “chop wood, carry water,” style of spiritual growth.
One of my first moments of “Wow, there really is a loving Creator” was when I was struggling to learn how to drive using manual transmission. I was trying to make it through busy Chicago streets (yes I was a total idiot) and at one particularly scary point when I was sure I’d stall out again I had the sense that God was with me and would take care of me. It was a very quiet moment: no burning bushes, no self-help gurus.
And, by the way, the feeling passed and I was back to my old self.
But what was important for me was the memory of what had happen.
So in my case, it’s mindfulness and spiritual practice and willingness interspersed with fear, joy, and sadness.
My typical everyday being human with a desire to connect more with the Divine in a perfectly imperfect way.
Thanks again for a dose of spiritual reality.
Blessings
Judy
.-= Judy Murdoch´s last blog ..Why Marketing for Services Sucks =-.
‘Culture of pressure’ – well said. And I appreciated the ‘copping’ to your own challenges with the same thing conflicted urge to push. Me too, man. Me too.
Oy, its a rich road, ain’t it?
To take the whole metaphor thing farther, woman have known for millenia about that potentially hazardous urge to push before its time during birth, but doesn’t seem to stop us from still wanting to bear down and breakthrough when it feels like we’re at the height of contraction and the end our own rope. Facing our own limits and finding there’s something more than us is a wild thing.
There’s such a fine (and sometimes very subtle) line between using influence to serve folks in moving as and when they should and calling the ability to seduce folks into action (prompt controlling push) service, isn’t there?
.-= Lissa Boles´s last blog ..The Obama Effect =-.
Thank you for a great post. I’ve also written about the James Ray thing, twice, in fact. I think there’s a tendency in these circles by a lot of people to run after the “high” of the breakthrough. And yet, often it’s not a breakthrough, it’s just a high like a drug gives you a high.
Seminar high is very common, and I’ve often wanted to ask people who are always going on different courses and doing seminars with the same basic content why they need to do this. There’s something about the reaction when people have a big moment in a seminar, and they think it’s changed their lives. But two weeks later, they haven’t changed anything.
.-= Joely Black´s last blog ..A 4.4.1: Answering Tom
Really like your post. I recently wrote out some of my thoughts & the inherent paradox about pushing our limits at my blog (An Open Invitation to the Self- Growth Industry http://bit.ly/2VV6a3).
I like your insight here though in the sense that if we are not able to surrender and accept who we are right here, right now. Lean into our circumstances, then this new up-leveling becomes more of a fantasy of escape than a real transformation. It’s just the scantily clothed cousin to using addiction to make one feel better… as you say in your title “addiction”. So as I see it it comes down to the fact that breakthroughs can be great, they are necessary, investing in our growth is all good. But, an integral part of that is perfecting and living in the present. Being with what IS, and knowing that you can’t force your evolution…you can only flow into it.
Thanks Mark for your inspiring post.
I totally agree with you.
The more we can come to accept “everything that is”, as it is now without the need to change anything, the more we become aligned with out true selves. When we surrender and let go, flowing with the undercurrent of divine source that weaves its way magically through our life experience, the richer our live’s become.
We can not, not be that which we already are.
We are all of it. In truth there is no “me” or “you”. All separateness is illusion.
Life just is. There is no destination.
We are there already. Surrender is the key.
Thank you for your beautiful words of wisdom.
It is always an inspiring read to hear from you.
With love and gratitude,
Billy Amesz.
Mark,
Thank you for addressing this tragic incident with your valuable spiritual insights.
I’ve attended two of those seminars and I’m grateful that I walked out of the second one and canceled my registration for the third. I’m grateful that I only lost money, and not my life.
And I am grateful for teachers like you who offer the perspective that we all need so desperately.
Stay grounded in your truth, Mark, and thank you.
Sally
You are a wise teacher, Mark, and this post is hugely important.
Years ago I decided that paying attention, or mindfulness, is the key to growing. Then I learned that acceptance is a necessary part of this, or else I just go into denial.
Now that my father is terminally ill, that ability to surrender and accept is more crucial than ever.
Thank you for the reminder.
Lynne
.-= Lynne Tolk´s last blog ..Ever Integrating =-.
I’m really touched by how you all are resonating with this.
@Janet and @Yaeli and @Marianne- Amen! Thank you right back.
@Leo- Choosing the healthy path when the other way can look so shiny, that takes real strength and courage, brother. I bow to you.
@Judy- “Manual transmission”- that’s kinda what we’re talking about, eh? Good one. :0
@Evan and @Beth- I’m glad you’re here with us.
@Ingrid- “Uplevel”- what a great term! It’s kinda like “uproot.” 🙂
@Lissa- It is such a fine line, isn’t it? Influence and power- we can’t help but express it, but to remain conscious is the challenge. I’m so grateful I have a lineage and teachers to keep me in check.
@Joely- Seminar high, indeed. Such an addiction…
@Paula- I love your invitation to teachers. Thanks for linking to that post here.
@Billy- ah, yes. Living in the duality while partaking of the unity. Or is it the other way around?
@Sally- I’m so grateful you are okay after that! And that you took the time to speak up here. It’s a great confirmation for me, simply because I wasn’t an eyewitness, so thank you for your witnessing.
@Lynne- You have my prayers for your father. Such a deep surrender to watch our parents die. I’m not there yet, but we watched my wife’s mother die earlier this year. Breathe in, breathe out. Grieve. Celebrate. Surrender. Ugh.
Beautifully put Mark.
We have had this topic in our minds and hearts a lot in my household since my husband is Navajo, and participates in sweats once a week.
We really, really feel for the families of those injured and lost in that experience. It is so sad, and we hope the families can find support and healing through their grief.
In my own experience with sweatlodge ceremonies led by grounded medicine men, there is not a big macho push to “break through,” but rather an encouragement to relax into love. Navajo culture is matriarchal — there is a lot of emphasis on the female experience and perspective. I have never felt pressured to do anything. That is not part of the native tradition.
I have a connection with the word “escape,” but to me it is not about rejecting everything about your circumstances and looking for relief elsewhere; it is about realizing that your own thoughts shape your feelings, and you can choose to think differently, leading to different feelings and actions. In this state of quiet confidence, you see that you are already free, and there is a clear path to doing things that you would enjoy (like starting a business).
Thanks for your perspective!
-P
.-= Pamela Slim´s last blog ..Response to Chris Brogan about Overnight Success =-.
Along this vein, a life lesson for me is to learn to tolerate the dissonance between where I am now and where I want to end up.
Tolerating that dissonance, even embracing it, is what allows me to be present with the miracle that exists right now.
In the end, abundance and happiness and transcendence aren’t out there for us to claim if we can just push through. They’re right here, right now – if we can just stop long enough to notice.
Day in, Day out. The breakthrough is in the everyday moment–breaking through as we wash the dishes, drive to work, love our children, take out the trash.
This is a profound and beautiful post, Mark.
I read this article with great interest.
As you point out, there is a paradox in “breakthrough”. When we are forcing it with our ego, it doesn’t happen. (And if you force too hard, it can backfire.) When we accept and embrace what is right now, it can happen, and when it happens, the change is beyond our limited imagination. (After all, a breakthrough of, say, increasing the revenue by 30% or something like that is not a real breakthrough at all. It’ so limited and confined in the thinking of money.)
The way you apply spiritual perspective to business is very interesting. Not many business coach advises to accept the plateau, right:)
Keep up the great work. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say.
Love & Light,
Akemi
.-= Akemi – Yes to Me´s last blog ..Demystifying Starseeds, Walk-Ins, And Lightworkers =-.
I can’t help thinking this is at least partly about letting growth take its own pace, and the consequences of getting greedy for growth.
Greed often has some kind of blowback: personal, financial, relationships with others, psychological, physical, psychic, spiritual, etc. Sometimes the penalties are extreme. I feel sad for the families of those three people who died, and also for Mr. Ray.
Greed for growth has more than once whacked me upside the head. It must be a holy paradox of some sort. “If some growth is good, then more is better.” But it doesn’t quite work that way. When I’ve gotten greedy for growth, I’ve impeded my own progress.
I’ve learned the phrase, “Content but not complacent.” (That’s one I came up with.)
Most people misunderstand when they hear it.
I am content with my life: who is in it, what I have, what I do, who I am.
I am not content as in, “I neither need nor want anything more, different or better.” I am content as in, “I am grateful for this wonderful life I have so far.”
I am not complacent. I welcome growth, change, improvement, betterment. I refuse to stand still. This is my life “so far.” There’s more to come.
As I grow, my perspective changes. The kind of growth I invite into my life is different now than it was twenty years ago. I look forward to what my non-complacency welcomes into my life twenty years from now (assuming I have the blessings of another twenty years or more).
Thank you for a very fine blog post, Mark. I’ve enjoyed the book “Mastery,” and I like the story of the merchant who was a zen master.
Dear Mark,
There was so much wisdom in this article. I just kept wanting to underline and pass on so many of the ideas that you articulated so eloquently.
I have been around the whole spiritual growth “industry” for a long time now and that insistence on breakthrough, the next level and rebirth often comes from a place of such pushing and even desperation. Which has always felt borderline abusive and the exact OPPOSITE of self loving to me.
I loved what you said about how that profound process of true transformation is really out of our hands. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen IF it’s supposed to happen.
And that what is truly important is being with what is happening in our lives, right here and right now, in a spirit of love and acceptance and compassion. Which is often the most challenging spiritual work there is!
Thank you, again, for your wise heart!
Chris
.-= chris zydel´s last blog ..Abuse Your Art Supplies =-.
Many, many years ago, in college, I took a course called Dynamics of Creative Communication. It was primarily a series of exercises about learning and experiencing communication with others (and myself). That course, and my ethics course, contained arguably the only value I took out of those two years – but the value was huge. That course was my earliest experience of a structured attempt to teach me to “get to the next level.”
I’ve worked as a corporate trainer since 1985, and in the human potential industry for the last several years. I believe utterly that it is possible to teach/empower/support others in making positive life (as well as work) changes, if they choose to do so.
However, my industry sometimes misses the fact that while you can lead people to positive results, you cannot push them there. As was stated above, it’s an easy line to stray over, even if your intentions are positive. I believe that coercion, even when “for their own good”, is always a poor choice. If this resonates for you I’d recommend reading about Marshall B. Rosenberg’s “Nonviolent Communication.”
The deaths at James Ray’s seminar were tragic, and my heart goes out to the participant’s families and to everyone in James Ray’s organization. I don’t think that judging the effectiveness of the industry as a whole by those deaths has any relevance, however. It’s sensationalistic, rather than logical.
Mark, you stated “Preparing the way for a breakthrough can be a useful practice as long as you aren
Thank you so much for sharing Mark. Your perspective has been my experience exactly. It’s a great reminder that every moment is an opportunity for acceptance. String a bunch of those together, and that’s my breakthrough.
.-= Carrie Tallman´s last blog ..What
As a first time entrepreneur having launched my coaching practice recently, I’ve learned that it’s not the big breakthroughs that create movement. It’s the little things I do daily, one step at a time, one action following another. And a whole lot of feeling my way into it.
There are the times when out of the 50 ideas in my head I get down to doing none or one and that’s ok too. The tendency is to look at others & compare, push ourselves to match the Joneses. It’s best to drop the #’s game and focus on being.
I’m so with you on the letting go of externals and going within, knowing that where we are is perfect. Thanks for a great post!
Tia @TiaSparkles
.-= Coach T.I.A ´s last blog ..These Are a Few of My Favourite Things ? ? =-.
Thanks for this article. I am resonating with the idea that breakthroughs take a long time to happen. Chris Brogan is doing a wonderful series on what it means to be an “Overnight Success.” http://www.chrisbrogan.com/tag/overnightsuccess/
@Pam- Thank you so much for the personal reflection- I have no direct experience with Native culture, and so I have big appreciation that you brought this perspective here. I love it.
@Jennifer- Dissonance! Now there’s something to celebrate!
@Amy- Every day, indeed.
@Akemi- Thank you for your kind words, Akemi.
@Dan- I know, it’s really insidious- I can get caught, too. And I’m really grateful that I have ways to remember and step out, and not get caught in the destructive spiral. Sigh..
@chris- Just make sure it’s non-delible so you can wipe off your screen afterwards. 🙂
@Karilee- I hear you- and I agree that there are many techniques to work towards “breakthrough.” And there are great ways for people to facilitate that.
I’ve also seen that you almost never get 100% of the room to have a breakthrough. And that even among the ones who do, the changes are all over the map, from mild to profound. What I take from this is that we can prepare the way, but we can’t make it happen.
Different people may interpret it differently.
@Tia Sparkles- congrats on stepping out into your first-time entrepreneurship! Very, very cool. And yes, I so agree with you.
I like how you said supporting culture. We forget that we need to encourage each other to surrender and accept. I’ve just been coming around to this way of thinking in the past few years.
Breakthroughs need to happen organically. If we force the issue we are only creating more pain. I’ve been learning this the hard way. I’ve been a big bully to myself, thinking that if I forced myself to work hard I would get ahead faster. I only procrastinated more and weakened my confidence.
I’ve been practicing being more kind and compassionate as I work on my biz. I’ve actually gotten more accomplished because I’m more motivated to do the work.
Thanks for a great perspective that I definitely needed to read today.
.-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s last blog ..The Hard, The Fun, and The Beautiful
@Judith- Yeah, I love what Chris is doing over there. Thanks for bringing the link here.
@Karl- The supporting culture is so important. Every spiritual path I know stresses how important community is, and we here are no different. Thanks for highlighting that part of it.
Dear Mark and Community,
I have had the same sense about the commercialization of the transformation business for some time, but I think you put it in a very clear context.
There are a couple of additional metaphors that have really helped me. One of them was shared with me by my wife, from some literature from a 12-Step program. It compares our defenses and limitations to the bark of a birch tree. In good time, the bark becomes too constricting for the tree and it is shed. But if it is ripped off prematurely, it can cause great damage.
Similarly is the great metaphor of the man who picks up the butterfly struggling to release itself from its cocoon. Wanting to be helpful, he snips away the cocoon and immediately frees the butterfly. But the butterfly never flies. The wings never take shape because the struggle against the cocoon is part of their development process.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head and really appreciate you bringing this point out.
I am in the process of rethinking and rebuilding my own business and professional identity, and look forward to working with more of your thoughts and materials in the weeks to come.
@David- Really striking metaphors you bring, and it makes the point so strongly. Stop pushing! Stop pushing! Oh, if only we all just had the good sense to take a nap now and again…
I personally feel the true “breakthrough” would have been those who felt like sheep, shedding that skin, standing up like the lions they are, in their own power, and saying, “No, this is not working for me, I trust myself, knowing this is harming me, I’ll be leaving NOW.”
Many of us need that kinda breakthrough, discovering that there is no true authority, no one or anything in this reality that knows better than we do. No one is rightfully above us, no one truly knows better than we do, about OUR own lives. The only outcome that is relevant is that we feel good in our own hearts about our choices, that we feel confident and free in making them.
When I began to “awaken” to my own spiritual power, I began to “hear” what I called my Guides. They began to teach me things, and it would seem those first lessons were the most significant. One of them, and they showed me multiple examples in my day-to-day life, was the error in FORCING anything or anyone. They said “pushing” is okay and even a good thing at times, but forcing isn’t. The challenge is in knowing where that point is, when pushing becomes forcing. We must endeavor to always be wary of crossing that line.
They told me this one day as I was packing an overnight bag, I kept putting more and more stuff in it. I was pushing it all in there, while struggling to zip it. And all of a sudden, pop!! The seam burst, and I whimpered, “Ahhh, I’ve ruined it!!” It was at that very moment that all of this pushing/forcing stuff flooded into my consciousness. My Guides wanted this to be an indelible memory why I should not force things. It will invariably blow up in our face.
Such a terrible tragedy what happened to those people. Hopefully it will be an indelible mark on our hearts, teaching us that we should not allow others to force us against our own Power, our own Heart’s Knowing. I believe the “breakthrough” so many of us are moving toward is standing up, standing up and speaking out, knowing, without question, our own Power.
We do need teachers who are about teaching us to trust and believe in our own Power–those with the primary objective to truly empower others. We don’t need “gurus” who feed off of our power, because they haven’t truly discovered and embraced their own. A good indication that they have not is that forcing thing, and continuing to draw pleasure from excessive material wealth.
Peace,
Dove
Amen. You said it beautifully. Thank you.
Moral arguments aside, the fact is that starving, hopeless people produce little and buy nothing.
The horrendous state of poverty in most of the world is a massive failure of the financial system as current conceived.
There is far, far more near and long term wealth to be created by raising the standard of living for the poor than by billionaires accumulating their next billion.
Mark, these lines made me weep:
“The life and reality you are living right now is fueled by the Love and Life pouring in from its source, the Divine. Your business challenges are not evidence of a need for a breakthrough.
They are evidence of a need for love, compassion and surrender. And maybe to take a look at what your business is truly needing.”
Thank you. Just what my heart needed to hear tonight.
In gratitude, Karly
Karly – so glad it landed for you!
I should also point out that despite there being over 10 million users already, at the moment I only have a handful of friends (cries whilst reaching for tub of ice cream), and I’m sure the more friends you have on it, the better the experience is.
This post reminds me of something biochemical: Dopamine is involved in aha moments and that *sparkliness* that happens when something is new and a breakthrough. Dopamine is also one of the main players in addiction.
I remember many sleepless nights when I first started my business, when I could feel dopamine surge through my system with all these new ideas. And I remember many similar times pushing my way into self-growth. It can be very addictive.
Thankfully dopamine-trigger response is on a short leash these days! And acceptance and surrender are good friends of mine now! They create such a different feel in my body.
ERin- So nice to put dopamine on a short leash… Woof!
Thank you for these words, Mark. I sense this deep breath beyond these words and notice I relax while reading. Wonderful.
Marie- yes, deep breath… so needed. Thank you.
Mark, thank you for your inspirational message on money today.
That
Diana- you are so welcome, and it’s really, really true what you say. There’s a reason for the tight deadlines they put on decisions. “Only decisive people win.” Such a painful lie, especially with their definition of “decisive.”