Okay, you’ve got two new clients signed up, whew! But then… a newish client completes. And then another one. You’re not ahead at all, you’re right where you started. Oy.
What a treadmill! If only clients would stick around for awhile, you could catch your breath and feel stable. Maybe you’d even work on developing your business further, instead of simply running fast just to stay in place.
The Secret to Profitability
It takes time and effort to build the trust needed to gain a new client. Profitability comes from repeat business–those clients and customers who already trust you and don’t need further reassurance or information. They just jump in, because they need what you have and know you’re the person to get it from.
This is why you can survive and actually do well with a relatively small reach. It’s been said that if you can build a list of 1000 people and reach them consistently, you can build a six-figure business.
This is true. But only if your clients stick around, and come back for more.
The Most Effective Way to Kill Repeat Business
The most effective way to keep clients from coming back is to simply overwhelm them and give them too much. My spiritual teacher has a habit of saying, “You cannot eat the apple all in one bite.” Here at Heart of Business, we call it “kitchen-sinking” your clients.
This happens out of a sincere desire to help and to bring relief to your client’s struggles. So you give them everything you’ve got, even the kitchen sink. Unfortunately, you’ve forgotten that it took you years, maybe decades, to learn what you know.
When you overwhelm someone with too much, they tend to implement or make use of very little of it. If they use very little, then they don’t get results. If they don’t get results, they leave. There they go. Bye-bye.
The Other Most Effective Way
The OTHER most effective way to keep clients from coming back is actually another form of overwhelm. It’s when you’ve done some good work with someone, the session or whatever it is ends, and they say, “What’s next?”
And then you say… come on, you know you’ve said it…
“It’s up to you.”
Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! You’ve just overwhelmed your client and killed your repeat business.
You might think you’re being a nice person, not being pushy, and leaving it up to them to choose. But what you’ve done is abandoned them.
They are hurting in some way, overwhelmed, needy, vulnerable. No matter what you do, whether it’s help heal people dying of chronic illnesses, or weave beautiful handmade textiles, people need help facing their decisions.
They want your guidance on what to do. If you withhold your guidance and best advice, because you don’t want to be pushy, you’ll get the opposite affect: you’ll push them away.
In more extreme cases, it can even sound like you *don’t* want them coming back. “Well, it’s really up to you, so you know, whatever. I don’t care. Ho-hum.” Of course, you aren’t actually saying that, but your clients can think that’s what they’re hearing.
And they leave.
The way to counter these two ways of killing repeat business is simply to reverse them: give your clients baby steps, and tell them your best recommendations on what they should do. It seems simple, but let’s take just a little bit closer look.
Keys to Repeat Business
- Unpack the Kitchen Sink.
How much is too much to offer a client? One way to figure it out is for you to think about what would be reasonable, then cut it in half. Then cut it in half again.
Another way is to spend some time in your heart, and ask to be shown how much can they take in without being overwhelmed. Don’t ask “What do they need?” unless you also ask, “Over how long a period of time will it take for them to digest it?”
The answers may surprise you. What? They need six months to a year to really get it? Exactly.
- Don’t Hold Back.
You may be saying out loud, “Oh, it’s up to you.” But inside you probably have a pretty good idea about what they need to make some progress. Maybe something like, “Hmmm… I could really get them going if they saw me once a week for four weeks, and then twice a month for the following three months. And then reassess.”
So tell them that. If you connect with that place in your heart where you are wanting them to get the help they need, that’s what will come across.
- Business Stability Serves Your Clients.
If clients stick around for months and months, then you don’t have to go into a big marketing push every month or two. This means that your attention can be on your clients, and they can get the care they need.
It also means that if you are marketing through an email list or a blog, you don’t exhaust them with constant promotions. If you promote all the time, then nothing seems very special anymore.
Finally, if you don’t have to be promoting, then you can put some creative attention into your business itself. Maybe finally you can get that book or home study guide written, or some other project that’s been calling to you.
So, to repeat: break down your offers into baby steps, stretch them out over time, and don’t hold back on your recommendations. Once they trust you enough to come to you, this kind of clarity only serves them.
Repeat business is the secret key to business stability and success. You don’t have to reach millions of people in order to live well. You just have to stop pushing away the ones who come to you, when their sticking around for the long term gives them a better chance of really receiving what they’re needing.
19 Responses
I just wanted to say you are right. Real transition does take time, not to be too religious but the disciples has a three year course and they did not fully get it!
I teach emotional intelligence, it is a Meta skill and you can have great insights and breakthroughs but it needs patience and discipline to undo our warped sense of reality as seen through the myopic lens of the ego. We are working on a transitional programme I would say it would take 18 months to really learn some degree of self mastery.
Regards,
Joseph
Mark
What you wrote makes intuitive sense to me in light of how people learn and integrate new information.
Funny how in a desire to be of service to our customers and clients we do things that have the exact opposite effect!
One point that especially resonated for me is the comment “that’s up to you.” We want to serve and we want to be client-directed and yet when someone has said this to me I feel rejected! Like they don’t care whether I continue with them or not.
Hmm.
Blessings
Judy
I’m having a slow morning (I barely was able to come up with my sum answer). Sooo… I just started a newsletter with the incentive for subscribers that there will be a bimonthly promotion attached. Is this too kitchen sinky? Not sure how to implement this with my retail store (fiber arts).
Tangerine Dreams
Mark,
I’ve heard you (or read you!) say this before, and I get it on several levels. And it’s a good reminder to read it here!
At the same time, sometimes I have more than one project going that I want to market. For instance, suppose I’ve got a group program, plus a one-off workshop, plus a new workbook.
It seems to me that releasing all of this just one at a time, with gaps in between, will slooooowwww my business down a LOT. But what you’re saying – and I do get it! – is that marketing all at once, or even each one right after the other, will overwhelm people.
Is there some sort of happy medium in here somewhere??
Grace Judson
This is a very timely article for me. As a wellness coach I am now begining to work with clients on the internet and just as I was wondering what and when is enough you came up with this brilliant truth.
“Unpack the kitchen sink” really appeals to me since wellness coaching involves dealing with what’s going on in the kitchen.
It can be easy for some one who is versed in the process but overwhelming for even an eager neophyte.
Thanks for your generosity of spirit
@Joseph- thanks for dropping by, and it is amazing how easy it is to forget to give clients the time they need to really take on what we’re giving them.
And is it true that for the disciples it was three years? I’m less learned in Christian history- more familiar with the before (Jewish) and after (Islam). 🙂
@Judy- Isn’t that amazing? What seems almost intuitive can be nearly the most damaging thing you can do? Shocking, shocking…
That makes sense, Mark, thanks. Of course, it also means that I’m behind the curve ’cause my list is *far* from segmented. 🙂 Sounds like that’s something worth my spending some serious thought and time on!
Grace Judson
I think there is another alternative to the 2nd thing we do. The “that’s up to you” response. Because we say that in an attempt to give the client some control over their journey. But, as you point out, they need some guidance to make that decision less overwhelming.
So, a bit like raising toddlers (which might be an unfortunate comparison), you give them some limited choices. Like two. Here are two options of where you could go next. Option A would do x. Option B would do y. Where would you prefer to go next.
It leaves the client some control over the direction. It is not an overwhelming choice (which, in toddlers, leads to temper tantrums). And you provide expert guidance and support.
JoVE
JoVE–I love that approach, giving them two choices. Like you, one of the reasons I often step back and say, “It’s up to you,” is because I want my client to be in control, but narrowing things down for them feels good for both of us. Thank you for the food for thought!
Mark–What do you say when you don’t really want to continue with a client ;-). (Not that that happens very often, just that every once in awhile, I really do mean, “Well, if you really, really want to work with me again, I guess that’s okay, but are you sure you wouldn’t rather work with someone else?”)
I’ve definitely been sensing that I’m throwing too much at a few of my clients lately and need to take a step back and just let things proceed more slowly. (In both cases, they’re frustrated that their businesses aren’t growing, and I know that x, y, and z will help them, but when I try to get us started all at once, I’m also sensing them pulling back.) I think some of their hurry up-slow down is fear that they’ll be left behind (which is a fear I deeply relate to and want to help them avoid), so I wonder what would happen if I just let them know that they can take their time.
Thanks for the wonderful post!
Jessica
@Tangerine Dreams- No, I don’t think that’s too kitchen sinky. I think of the kitchen sink as trying to teach someone 10 years of material in a month. Or trying to get them five years of gardening supplies in a week. Too much.
Simply sending promotions as part of your ezine isn’t in the same category at all. 🙂
@Grace- the Kitchen Sink functions with a single client. So, if you were to try to get a single client to take all of your courses at once, you’d sink them.
However, it doesn’t apply when promoting to many people. But, you can use up marketing bandwidth. this is why we segment our email lists, so we can do multiple promotions at the same time, but each person (should) only see the one or two promotions that are most relevant to them.
It’s much harder to do with rss.
@Celia- I’m glad it was so helpful! And yes, it feels good to be generous. And, what better place to hang out than in the kitchen?
@Grace- Yup, segmented lists are the bomb. 🙂 Never too early to start, even if you don’t use’em much.
@JoVE- I so agree with you. Giving a couple of options can be really helpful, especially if you lean into the one you recommend more strongly: “Here’s the ideal thing I’d love for you to do. And here’s another option that will still help you.”
I think toddlers is an excellent metaphor- I know I can feel young and helpless as a client in these situations. 🙂
@Jessica- Well, that’s an entirely different story. How about- “Hey, after thinking it through and seeing what you really need, what I’d like to do is refer you to this other person, X. I’ve already spoken to them in general- I haven’t given them any personal details, and they’d be happy to talk to you. Can I connect you?”
You can make it as seamless as possible, so they don’t feel as if they are cast loose, you can preserve the relationship, and still move them on. They may still be a good source of happy karma and referrals down the road.
How does that sound?
And, incidentally, your last paragraph is why I decided to do HoB- business skills alone wasn’t cutting it, and we needed some spiritual presence to deal with what’s REALLY going on. 🙂
A third option is to work in tandem with, for instance, HoB, and say: “I’d love for you to work on X with someone from HoB and we can continue to support you with what you’re wanting to get done.”
My associate Jim is great with those things.
@Mark on the toddler analogy. I first started contemplating my career change when my daughter was a toddler. At that time I was reading some books about management and some childcare books. It struck me that a lot of them were saying the same things.
For someone in your position, this might mean that what you know about business might be a good basis for dealing with the twins as they grow up. Communication. avoiding overwhelm. that sort of thing
Thanks for the great post, Mark!
I can definitely see times when I’ve been pulling out the kitchen sink and have sensed the client’s overwhelm. Though on the other hand, I’m a kitchen sink kind of client that likes to have a whole lot of stuff thrown at me… so personality certainly comes into play. All the more reason for me to pay very close attention to this wisdom!
I love how you emphasized the importance of checking in with your heart. That can certainly make all the difference!
You’ve also sparked some ideas on how I want to structure some of my initial offerings to clients, and I’ve gained some clarity around a few things to cut out of my latest project in development. (There’s a kitchen sink hiding in there. Ack!) Good stuff!
Melanie
It is therefore instructive to remember
The Toddler’s Creed
The “Toddler’s Creed” appeared in the syndicated weekly newspaper article “Families Today” by T. Berry Brazelton. It is a nice reminder of the stresses we feel with normal behavior of toddlers. Enjoy.
If I want it, it’s mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it’s mine.
If I can take it away from you, it’s mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
If it’s mine, it will never belong to anybody else, no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
— Dr. T. Berry Brazelton
Substitute “ego” and you have huge insight into human nature. 😉
@JoVE- I love that point. It reminds me of a business story I read somewhere of a woman who transitioned from running a daycare or something similar, to coordinating an annual conference for 300 CEOs. Someone asked her whether it was a very hard transition, and she answered (paraphrased from my poor memory): “After working with 30 toddlers in a room, getting 300 CEOs to a conference is a snap.”
@Melissa- Glad it helped! And, you are right- personality does come into play. I like working with the Enneagram.
And yet, there’s no personality in the world who can assimilate a decade of learning in a month. 🙂 I’m glad this landed so well- I’m interested to hear more about your project!
Guess it depends on whether you plan to hire toddlers. lol Talk about starting your kids early in the family biz. Sheesh. But they’ll probably work happily for Cheerios so there you go.
@Judy- You mean we shouldn’t use that in the new employee handbook we’re writing?
Mark –
I am a bit late in reading this but would like to ask question. Thanks, first of all, it’s really helpful.
I can truly say I’ve had exactly the result you describe after saying, ‘It’s up to you,” after my 2nd session with a client. And yet I still have a bit of stomach resistance to the alternatives given to saying “It’s up to you.”
I guess my brand or niche that I’m working to refine and clarify has in part to do with people finding their own solutions and answers within themselves. I really like to do decision making and exploring jointly. I see your point totally and yet I’m lost in there somewhere. Am I making sense?
Catherine
@Catherine- You are making sense, and I think I get what you mean by “stomach resistance.” I think it’s important to distinguish between making decisions for clients, which I would never advocate anyone doing, versus withholding your wisdom and experience, or offering it in a way that doesn’t carry you strength, conviction and passion with it.
People can find the answers within themselves- but only if they know the options and the potential consequences of those options. I want to support you in never trying to over-ride a client’s own wisdom and guidance. But, they should make informed choices, too.
Your clients just don’t know what you know. And internal wisdom and guidance can sometimes be way off in the absence of knowledge. If client doesn’t know that it could take three months to work on something, they could feel frustrated or bad about themselves if it doesn’t resolve in two weeks
Giving them your opinion and perspective is a bit of mercy for them. Don’t with hold that mercy.
If you’re still feeling resistance and/or collapse around it, I would recommend 😉 getting some help in looking at what you are reacting to in it. I’m thinking there is a place of strength and sovereignty within you that could use some love and support.
Does what I’m writing resonate with you?