Someone calls you up and is interested in your offer. So they start asking questions. And more questions. And more questions.
Suddenly, you’ve been on the phone for over an hour. And when you hang up, they still didn’t sign up for your offer.
You spent enough time on the phone and answered enough questions that if they were a client, you would’ve sent an invoice.
When Is It Okay to Say “I Charge for That” and Turn the Meter On?
Why so many questions? And why do you spend so much time on the phone with them?
Questions aren’t always what they appear to be. In many instances, the answer to the question asked isn’t what they are really looking for.
“Are You My Mommy?”
In the children’s book Are You My Mother? a small bird becomes separated from her mother and goes searching from animal to animal. She asks a dog, a pig, a horse, “Are you my mother?”
The little bird was feeling lost and needing help. As a little chick, she asked directly: “Are you my mother? Is this home?”
As adults, we’ve learned that the world is sometimes a scary place, and it doesn’t feel safe to be vulnerable. So we don’t ask, “Is it safe here?” Instead, the questions tend to come out, “What are all the components to this class? What are all the ingredients in this product?”
Until that person gets their real question answered, they are going to keep asking. And asking. And asking.
Wouldn’t you?
The Real Question They Are Asking Is…
They are asking if you are going to care for, support, and guide them. Can they rely on you? Is what you’re offering really going to work? An hour’s worth of questions basically trying to find out if there is enough safety, connection and trust here for them to say, “Yes.”
So how do you answer their questions in a way that will help them become a client, without spending an hour, being rude, or treating them like a child (which they aren’t)?
Keys to Turning on the Meter
• What questions do people ask you repeatedly?
If you’ve had a number of these conversations, you’ve probably heard certain questions over and over again. Brainstorm those questions, write up the answers, and put them on a web page, pdf, or some other document you can email them.
Because the people who are calling you aren’t children, they do need some information. Write it up and give it to them.
• Close the book and take charge.
I’m guessing you may approach a conversation with a prospect using an “open book” approach. You become an open book, and you invite them to ask any questions they may have.
Except that you are the expert. If you were to ask a brain surgeon about brain surgery and you needed an operation, what kind of questions would you ask? “Uh… does it hurt?” That’s right, you don’t know what the most important questions are, so you’ll just keep throwing darts in the dark, hoping that your need for connection, safety and trust will be met.
I don’t know about you, but I’d be nervous if a brain surgeon invited me to ask her questions before she had assessed me or asked me any questions of her own. Questions designed to help the surgeon know what’s really going on and how best to proceed. And also questions designed to set me at ease, as the patient.
Your work may not be brain surgery, but the questions you ask communicate: “I’m confident. I know what’s going on. I’m going to take care of you. We will get you help.”
• What do you recommend?
After 15 or 20 minutes of questioning a prospect, I’m guessing you’ll know as much as you need to know in order to make a recommendation: “I can help you, and I believe that ten sessions will probably get you the results you want, or at least help you make a LOT of progress in that direction.”
Of course, it is polite to let them ask you questions. But after questioning them and having a clear picture of how to work with them, it will be much easier to say: “The question you are asking is an excellent one. Here is a piece of the answer: X-Y-Z. And I’m wondering what you think of my recommendation.”
• Advanced tip: Web forms.
You can take a handful of the preliminary questions that you would ask almost anyone, and put them into a form on a web page that they can fill out. The same page that has the answers to frequently asked questions.
If someone is willing to fill out your form, it’s more probable that they are serious in their inquiry. And you will have a place to start having an informed conversation with them.
12 Responses
Oh boy Mark, but do I know this one… in spades!
I love being able to support my clients and students to become as much as they can be, but I’m constantly trying to find good ways to not be a “mommy” in such a way that I end up getting burnt out.
Thanks for the great tips!
Chris
chris zydel
Perfect timing. I often get asked about coaching teens and as this is no longer something I tend to do, you’ve inspired me to create a 1-page document I can spend people – “What I Know About Coaching Teens”. This will certainly save a lot of time – thanks for that nudge!
I LOVE the analogy with the “Are you my mother?” book – one of my favourites as a child. You’re spot on when you say: look for the BIG question beneath all the little ones we/they ask and speak to that.
Thanks for being spot-on, as ever.
Corrina
http://www.doingthingsdifferently.blogspot.com/
Corrina Gordon-Barnes
Mark —
Excellent advice. I get a lot of tire kickers and your suggestions will help to move them along.
Question — I do have a fairly extensive faq section on my website, along with (I think) quite a good description of how I work, etc. Yet prospective clients call all the time, not having read a single word, and proceed to ask me the same questions I’ve already answered. When someone books a “get to know you” session, as part of my response to setting up a time, I always point them with a direct link to the faq on my website, but 98% of the time they get on the call with me and say, “Oh, I know, but I didn’t have time to read it.” What I want to say (but don’t) is, “Well, go and read it and then call me back when you’re done.”
Any idea how actually get a prospective client to read the information? I’d rather spend our 20 – 30 minutes together talking about them and their issues rather than how much do I charge, how long are the sessions, how exactly do I coach, etc.
Thanks!
Joan Schramm
Absolutely ADORE the “Are You My Mother” analogy! PERFECTION!!!
It can be hard to sort out the “tire kickers” from the “I’m trying to establish whether or not I can trust you” crowd.
I have to admit, I’ve gotten a LOT fewer of the former since I started to blog – and those telephone conversations to make GREAT blog fodder!
Kathy @ Virtual Impax
Thanks Mark this is really great. I am working on growing my business, so don’t have the exact issue you address. But your post and comments have confirmed that I’m going in the right direction with some of the changes I’m making. For example, with current clients, I’ve put together a couple of packages that I think will address their needs. I’ve sent those off saying, in effect, “How about if we try doing things this way, instead. I think it might provide more value.” and then giving them an opportunity to suggest modifications for their specific needs. Haven’t heard back from them yet, but I think that’s kind of the same as your suggestion to ask them questions and then offer something.
Also, I noticed when my daughter was very small and I was reading a few books on raising children, toddlers, etc. that there is a LOT of overlap between the raising kids literature and the management literature. I look forward to more picture book recommendations on your blog 🙂
JoVE
mark…
I love the opportunity to be pro-active about problems that have not yet come my way…any the extra dimensions that come from all of your commentors. the real cherry in this one for me is the forms idea…just having that opportunity to assess the ditch before it goes live.
thanks for all the clarity and heart that you offer.
chas
Nail on the head as usual, Mark.
Personally, right now I like doing 45-60 minute free consultations for a *specific* purpose: I learn what my clients need. My biz is still in the early growing phase and the “tire kickers'” feedback helps me decide what products to offer and what content to focus on.
In the long run, I won’t be doing this forever. Using this information wisely, I add it to my landing pages (content, testimonials, etc.) to address the specific questions AND the deeper “Am I safe here? Can I really trust this?”
Thanks for clarity about the agenda behind the questions, though. It’s great context for us over-helpers. 🙂
@Chris- I know- that mommy tendancy (or poppa, as it were) can be strong. And, I’m glad what I wrote was helpful! Let me know how it goes.
@Corrina- Good for you for letting go of something and moving on! It probably happened awhile ago, but since I just heard about it, I always like to celebrate when people say “no” in order to more fully say “yes.”
And the one-page on coaching teens sounds great- and I bet you already thought of this, but adding in links to referrals will zoom those people out of there to where they can really get the help.
@Joan- That’s a great question. Here’s the deal with coaching or any other services- instead of just doing “coaching” or “sessions,” I recommend putting together a package-program. I took a look at your site, and I had to click through several different pages, and follow a not-so-obvious bread-crumb trail to get all the different information I needed. Someone who isn’t so diligent, will probably just contact you directly. A general “FAQ” isn’t going to be attractive to me as someone who needs help, now.
By having an offer/package page, with all the information on there in a narrative form, instead of an FAQ, people will be more likely to read it- because they are reading about the package, and not trying to figure out “general questions” which they may not be conscious of.
There’s another level of this- and it’s related to what Kathy said just below you- that she’s getting a lot fewer tire-kickers since she started blogging.
If you have a package offer, and if you offer it to your readers regularly, then you’ll have people coming forward who are more familiar and trusting of you, and then may have already read about your package a few times before contacting you.
Then, the conversations tend to go much more easily.
This is a function of what I call the Three Journeys, which I talk about briefly here: How to Avoid Burning Money on Advertising.
Does that make sense? Perhaps I should write a longer post on this topic?
@Kathy- Exactly! Your blog, as a Second Journey marketing strategy, is going to make a huge difference in how people approach you. Woo-hoo! celebrating that!
I’ll often frame expectations at the start of a call … “I’ve got 20 minutes…”
And I no longer give “free sample calls” – one of the staples of the coaching world, and not IMHO a great way sell the service. All you do is remove their urgency to buy
Michael
@JoVE- good for you for going down that path! It will definitely be fruitful, as long as you keep tweaking and learning with it. It was one of the first big turn-arounds in my business some years ago.
And, I think I’ll be going through a LOT of picture books coming up- so look for more, for sure. 🙂
@Chas- Web forms rule! As long as they are done well. 🙂 They’ve saved my sanity a gazillion times over.
@Jennifer – I love your openness to tire kickers. You can learn tons from them, and rarely do they have any kind of malicious intent- they’re just trying to figure things out, too.
And that’s the tweaking I was talking with JoVE-continuing to use what you learn to hone in more and more. Rock on!
@Michael- I agree with you- most free sessions totally bomb. A colleague and former client, Christian Mickelsen, has an approach to free sessions which is also similar to my Sacred Moment approach. He calls it Free Sessions That Sell, and it really gets behind the big problems with free sessions.
Setting expectations ahead of time is such a great way to keep focus- and that serves both you, and it serves them. After all, the other person doesn’t like having their time wasted, either.
I’m very much enjoying the conversation here!
Hi Mark:
The book “Are you my mother?” is such a powerful analogy to what the potential client is really looking for that they may not really say – can I trust you? will this work? – and so often that comes in the form of seemingly questions about content rather than revealing the true vulnerability potential clients may feel.
What I learned from your client was another layer about empathy – they are wanting something that feels very important and they wonder if we can really help them with it. They are doing their very best as we are in the helping professions.
I also liked your practical advice on how to redirect a potential client in a practical way to an article with links if helpful. That works for everyone – it’s efficient from a business perspective and it’s helpful to the potential client.
Thank you for deepening my understanding of what the client is really asking for.
Char
@Char- Glad it helped! I think the questions we ask each other are usually at such a basic level- “Are you my mother? Is this home?” but it gets covered up by so much story.