The first year I hired a bookkeeper (not the first year I was self-employed), I was so happy.
Happy, that is, until just weeks before taxes were due. What a mess! The only thing I could do was file an extension on my taxes, then hire a second bookkeeper to clean it all up, which meant we paid for that year of bookkeeping twice. Oops.
If you have issues with money, and I think that includes about 97.472% of the human population, of course accounting is going to be a challenge.
The First Assumption
If looking at money closely activates you, dividing up all the individual pieces involved in accounting and then looking at them closely might just send you straight to the loony bin.
At least that’s the conclusion we often jump to: “Dealing with money is painful, big and scary, so looking at it closely will cause me permanent damage.”
That’s how I worked with my first bookkeepers. The whole thing so big and scary that I just shipped the whole mess off to them without saying goodbye. I never gave more than a cursory glance at the reports they sent me. It was so unfair to blame them for the mess-up, but it sure was easier than dealing with the mess.
Now here’s typically where someone would tell you that “knowing the truth will set you free” or something similar. That if you would just take the time to look at the numbers, you’d feel much better.
It sounds nice, but it’s only *almost* true.
You Need to Do More Than Just Look
Ten minutes of a horror movie is ten minutes too many for me. After spending eight years as a paramedic, I don’t need any more gruesome images in my mind. Those kinds of images just bring up bad memories, to the point where I can’t get any enjoyment out of horror movies.
I ended up getting some sessions from a practitioner who could help me unpack my post-traumatic stress symptoms so that I didn’t have to struggle every time something potentially reminded me of a bad situation.
Similarly, if you’ve had some bad experiences with money or numbers, just taking time to look at the numbers may not set you free. In fact, looking at the numbers may actually cause more panic and upset.
You need to look at the numbers, but you don’t want to traumatize yourself.
The Second Assumption
“Numbers shouldn’t bother me so much!” If you’re thinking this, or otherwise judging yourself for having reactivity about money and numbers, then you’re stuck. There’s no escape.
We all do it, so it’s not like you’re permanently stuck. It’s just that we need to find a little mercy and spaciousness to work this through, or it’s going to be a long time before it unwinds. Which is why some people stay stuck for decades.
If you’ve ever received instruction in meditation or spiritual practice, then you know that having strong emotions and reactions is part of the process. You sit on your cushion, you go through your beads, and sometimes, seemingly out of no where, rage or grief or some other strong emotion comes bounding up.
But you were prepared for it, because your spiritual teacher or meditation instructor or yoga teacher warned you ahead of time. You still might jump off your cushion before you come back and sit down again, but at least you don’t have to judge yourself because you know it’s normal.
What if… hmmm… See what I’m getting at here?
Accounting as a Spiritual Practice
One of the benefits of spiritual practice is it allows all the painful stuff to float up and move on out so that your heart and being are emptied and clean, able to receive love once more.
Taking the time with your accounting can do the same thing for your bank account. Instead of trying to rush through your accounting, or just ignoring it for thirty years, why not give it some time?
What if you didn’t have to finish your numbers in 30 minutes? What if you gave yourself 60-90 minutes a day for a week, and each day you worked through a section of your numbers, getting clear on what they are and making room to feel the emotions and beliefs that are caught up there?
Looking at the numbers won’t set you free. Looking at the numbers and allowing the emotions and reactivity to bubble up, though, will set you free when you bring the love from your spiritual practice to them.
That’s a Lot of Time
To have a healthy business, you really need to have a healthy, intimate, knowledgeable relationship with the numbers. While it is incredibly helpful to hire a bookkeeper and accountant you don’t want to be outsourcing those tasks as if sweeping left over cat food under the rug.
In the beginning, as you clear out the emotional drek that has kept your finances frozen for years, it will take more time to sort through. As it clears out, however, it will take less and less time.
The funny thing is, once you have a healthier relationship with your accounting, you just might end up keeping more of the money your business brings in. Which might lead to the discovery that you actually do enjoy spending some of your time with your money.
23 Responses
Hi Mark,
This sounds like more evidence that people in general have strange and unhealthy, if not terrifying relationships with money. Not only making it — I love my Sacred Moment product — but receiving it and keeping it/having it.
What does money really represent for us?
Thx for thought provoking article!
Giulietta
.-= Giulietta the Muse’s lastest post: What makes you get up in the morning? =-.
Our culture is especially all mashed up about money. Wealth has always been a trap for the ego throughout human existence, and we live in an age where it’s run wild- and we’re feeling the results…
Hi Mark,
Thanks for this post. Every successful person I have ever heard asked about this has said that paying attention to your numbers is essential.
In my experience, when people begin to keep track of their money in software that allows them to run reports, they feel empowered and are more apt to gradually increase their income.
Developing healthy financial habits takes time and patience with yourself as you learn new skills. It often takes people three to six months just to get started once they decide to take the step and another few months to instill the habit.
I agree that it’s a spiritual discipline — one that encourages success in the real world.
Joan
I couldn’t agree more!
Yep, numbers freaked me out. So, to deal w/ it, I figured out how to avoid having to pay too much attention by just making way more than I needed. that worked for a while, but then it began to cost me a whole lot to maintain making that way more.
The only answer was to finally face what I didn’t want to look at and develop systems to make it easier to handle. A true spiritual practice, you are absolutely right.
Alexis
.-= Alexis Martin Neely’s lastest post: Are You Out of Integrity? =-.
Alexis! Thank you for bringing to light the side that earning your way out of the situation just doesn’t work. I’m so grateful that you are bringing the solidity of your experience and knowledge into the world.
Great post. The following sentences from your post jumped at me and I wish to reiterate. It is so true!
“If you
Thanks for highlighting and affirming that part, Lalitha- it’s the heart of the whole issue, isn’t it?
Thank you for this post. I am definitely of the “sweeping the cat food under the rug” variety, and find than when I actually look at the numbers and deal with them in a detached way I feel much more grounded with my finances. I’ve hadn’t thought of that as a “spiritual” practice, so this gives a deeper perspective to my relationship with money.
You are so welcome- grounded is a good thing. 🙂
Mark, as usual so well said. Another thing that many do not consider is even those who are comfortable with the how to side of money have emotional and spiritual issues tied to money that they may be ignoring even while looking at the numbers. We all have to deal with the issue.
I myself have my undergrad and MBA in finance and teach personal finance, but I had to take the time to sit with the un-comfort that I was ignoring to reach a spiritual understanding of my relationship with money. Once I did I found my teachings took on a completely different approach and I felt more at ease than ever before.
It is so worth it to do the emotional work!
I am looking forward to your new document!
Andrea
Yes! No matter how familiar we are with the physical, the internal awaits us…. Thank you for saying that.
Hi Mark,
Oh, this is such good stuff you’re writing about money.
Thank you so much for addressing this topic. It’s wrought with so much secrecy, shame, and other icky stuff: whether we got it or not.
I had the same sort of wake up as Alexis a few years ago, when I realized that earning more wasn’t the answer to soothe my anxiety.
Also noticed, too, than when I was keeping a tight watch on the business finances — more business and money flowed in. I knew what our target numbers had to be, and I always knew where we were at on a daily basis.
The key for me was finding the right bookkeeping system. For years I farmed it out…you know, catfood under the rug. ew!
So while I really don’t love bookkeeping, since the business does better when I’m looking at the numbers at least weekly, I go ahead and update the books myself.
After some time, I found that spreadsheets really are soothing — they put the information out there and we can do something with it. Besides worry. Not knowing is so stressful.
The numbers give us such important information about our business. We need to know the story the specific numbers are telling.
An excellent accountant is key for any business, because they can really advise on the tax implications of so many business decisions. All through my MBA, during every accounting class, I thought: So good to know that this is complex, and I can hire someone whose an expert at this!
So I always recommend folks find a great accountant (who endures learning the new tax rules every year, etc.) and think of her as a business advisor.
This money stuff is so important to address on an inner level — there is so much to unravel.
I keep working on it….still working on it! Like a spiritual practice.
I can’t wait to read more of your ideas on this, Mark. Very much appreciating this connection you’re making between money and spiritual teachings.
Thank you, Lisa! You’ve had such a journey with all this, and I’m so glad you joined in- the “story the specific numbers are telling” is such a critical concept, I find.
Hi Mark,
… Just wanted to say Thanks for these lines:
“Looking at the numbers won’t set you free. Looking at the numbers and allowing the emotions and reactivity to bubble up, though, will set you free when you bring the love from your spiritual practice to them.”
Ahhh, that’s a helpful bit of remembrance for me. I definitely feel anxiety when I consider finances and sit with my accounting. Remembering to bring a seat for the Divine to sit with me at my little accounting table is a nice bit of advice!
It’s also really helpful to hear about your personal experiences with accounting and, in particular, how it’s been a trigger for you, too, in the past. It’s so affirming to see how these fears can be sat with and worked through and, ultimately, even become sources for personal freedom and empowerment.
That’s where I want to be headed!
Thanks again for pointing the way. : )
Mark
Woo-hoo! Glad my pain and suffering can be of service. 🙂
Nice ;post
Hiring professionals in handling some stuff will also benefit you to be confident of good transparency.
THANKYOU FOR SHARING SUCH AN VALUABLE BLOG
THANKYOU FOR SHARING SUCH AN AMAZING BLOG
When you have a good accountant to handle finances it is very dependable and you don’t have to worry as much.
Thanks for the information, we’ll make sure to put it to good use at https://www.vector-bookkeeping.com/
Thanks for telling me that having a healthy and knowledgeable relationship with numbers can help in maintaining my business and improving it later on. I’m confident enough with my ideas, but I’m only worried that I might be having a hard time dealing with finances and other bookkeeping services. It might be better to just work with an accountant who can help me before and after I launch my dream business in the future.