There she is, someone who has contacted you out of the blue, jazzed, excited, wanting to hire you. What do you do?
- Say “Yes!” and take their money and get to work?
- Say “No way, are you crazy, have you been stalking me?”
- Say “Whoa, let’s slow it down a bit.”
In the early days of this business, when I was really hungry for clients, I would say Yes to anyone and anything that came in, because, err… there wasn’t very much there.
This is a totally fine approach in the beginning. As one of my teachers has told me, “When you’re hungry, it’s okay to eat.” There’s advice out there about having your perfect client, and saying no to everything else, but when you’re new, it’s not always clear who your perfect client is. And besides, if you gotta eat, you gotta eat. It’s okay.
However, over time, this can lead to trouble.
Why Get Good At Marketing
Near the top of the list of why I enjoy having a successful business is the real ease and freedom I feel in letting potential clients go. In a networking meeting, I don’t *need* a client. Someone applies to our high-end program who isn’t a right fit, I feel great about dissuading them from signing up.
Of course, this feeling of freedom and ease is always available in the heart, and I could access it when I was still struggling getting things going. But for some odd reason or another, it’s easier when the potential client in front of you isn’t the only thing around except for the cold eastern wind and some tumbleweed.
Signs of An Approaching Door
Here are some of my top signs that tell me to slow things down, even when someone is really excited and ready to hire us.
- They’ve known about us less than a week.
- They haven’t read our free workbook and so don’t know anything about our approach or use of spirituality.
- They are showing some signs of desperation. *Note– the desperation isn’t bad–their heart is clearly aching. I just don’t want someone spending a lot of money, especially if it puts their basic shelter and food needs at risk, thinking it’s going to “save” them or somehow work magic.
- My heart just doesn’t settle into it.
When any of these signs are present, I take a deep breath, slow down, and ask this question: “So, there are a million people teaching about business, what brings you to Heart of Business in particular?” I also ask how long they’ve known about us, whether they’ve read the workbook, and what’s their experience with spirituality.
I sometimes ask point-blank about their financial situation: “Are you on an edge? Would buying from us put your shelter and food needs at risk?”
There’s a bit more to the conversation, but this is how I start to assess if someone is coming to us from a grounded, centered place, really wanting to work with Heart of Business, or if they have some illusion about who we are, what we do, and what’s possible.
If it doesn’t feel right, I ask them to go read our workbook, and to take a few days to really listen to their heart. What are they truly needing? Do they have a strong sense of clarity about working with us, or are they truly needing something different?
The Most Recent Door
Someone had applied for our Opening the Moneyflow year-long program. Super-nice person. Super sincere. Ready to sign on the dotted line. But, the more I spoke with her, the more something just didn’t settle in. She had several of the signs of an approaching door.
I asked my questions, including the financial situation question, and told her my reservations, and she asked for some time to think it through. We agreed to speak in a few days.
Oh my goodness! She came back with such clarity about what her path really is, and it didn’t include our program. We both felt such palpable relief and openness, it just felt beautiful. And off she went on her true path, and I was moved that our encounter supported her in that.
Sweet, sweet success. That’s what I call a successful sales conversation.
The End Result
What comes out of this kind of honesty are clients that are totally jazzed to be here, and really clear about what they want. And I have a clear conscience that I’m not taking money from people who really need something else.
One Caveat
If you’re new in business, you may not have a lot of internal confidence yet in what you do. You may feel uncertain, or that you don’t deserve clients, or that there are a million people better than you, and so everyone should work with someone else.
If you’re working with these issues, I would err on the side of taking the client, even if it wasn’t exactly right. It’s too easy to undermine yourself with false humility that is really fear about showing up.
In time, as confidence grows, it will be easier to distinguish between true discomfort in the heart, versus your own fears.
Where’s Your Door?
Take a moment now and think about it: what are your signs that perhaps someone needs to be shown the door so they can find their true path, or at least that you need to slow down the sales process?
I’d love to hear what you come up with, if you’re willing to put it in the comments below. Or anything else this brings up for you.
17 Responses
I’ve found that, generally, if I start writing a proposal for a potential client with lots of stuff about what happens if they miss deadlines, or what happens if they don’t like the work, or what happens if they don’t provide necessary information on time — that’s a great big hint that we’re not a good match.
My radar is telling me that this is going to be a bumpy ride. And all the contract language in the world isn’t going to change that.
Amen. Fasten seat belts. Or just leave.
Hi Mark,
I love this post because it shows you really care about potential clients. Nothing successful about taking advantage of someone in a confused state.
The importance of two-way trust is really important and not talked about much.
Thanks!
Giulietta
.-= giulietta’s lastest post: Fight The Myth: Achieve Lifeness =-.
I love that “nothing successful about taking advantage of someone in a confused state.”
i really love and appreciate how you help me look at what i am doing in new ways.
in this case – i see that i do have a door. and i have been feeling like that door is keeping too many people away and i have been trying to take it down.
my door is that i do “creativity” workshops. i am also a visual artist. some people look at me, and the word creativity, and think they need to be visual artists to get anything out of my creativity workshops.
the creativity i teach in my workshops is about creative energy and how we create our lives, and creating space for more joy and enjoyment.
i am learning to be more clear (your heart centered articles class is really helping in that – ti’s amazing!) about what i do so the door can open to let more people in.
but i am also seeing that anyone who is scared off by the word creativity may also be closed to most of my ideas about creating happy fulfilling lives.
and maybe what i have been seeing as a problem in my business is actually a strength, because the people who do come to my workshops are really willing and ready to dive into their creative energy and open up to what is possible for them to create in their lives.
.-= ABCcreativity’s lastest post: creating positive energy =-.
Nice insight! The clarity sounds like it could have a major effect on your marketing.
Original Mark, I am really digging the “One Caveat” part. I think it’s easy to talk yourself into not showing up at that stage. Good observation.
.-= Mark W. “Extra Crispy” Schumann’s lastest post:
Yeah- exactly. I almost didn’t include that, but it seemed too important.
Yup. Big believer in this one.
That over-excitement is a good sign, I hadn’t thought of that specifically before, but I do notice that comes up a lot in the “helping people” arena (more than in the web-consultant arena).
When I did custom web design, I did a lot of work around this issue.
My signs ended up being many: if they were in a big hurry, if they were demanding, if they wanted me to “prove I was worth it” in some way, if they wanted someting way different than what I was good at, if they were really disorganized, or if I just didn’t get a good vibe or wasn’t excited about the project.
In the end my best indicator was when I would notice myself procrastinating in writing back to their response to my request quote form. I learned to notice that and then be like OK, I need to check in and figure out what is bugging me here, and then ask them more questions to clarify their expectations and needs. Or just say no, if it was pretty clear.
My biggest internal hurtle was overcoming the “should” feeling of “They’ve decided they want to work with me…shouldn’t I help them?”. I felt guilt and pressure and no-choice and all kinds of gnarly stuff.
I had to work on making my needs equally important to theirs–so that my wanting to work with them also mattered. That way it’s an equal exchange of energy and it’s a healthy relationship.
I worked a lot on affirming that it was OK to choose not to work with someone – for any reason. It didn’t have to be a “good” reason. Or rather, any reason that represents a true need for me was a good reason. And recognizing that there are lots of other competent people out there, and the best world is when every business relationship is a great fit.
I worked a lot on my language of turning people away in a clean, clear way – “I don’t think we’re a good fit to work together”. And building up a good list of other people to refer to. And of course, targetting my marketing specifically to my perfect people.
It was quite a process. Anyway. Good stuff.
It seems like the foundation is in the internal space and allowance you give yourself to follow your intuition and affirm what is true. And then there is the skill of learning how to have these kinds of conversations, having the language to speak about it and navigate that in a clean way with the potential client. And then of course there is creating more targetted marketing, which I suppose is another kind of conversation.
.-= Emma McCreary’s lastest post: You Don
Hey Emma- I totally agree- the foundation is the internal space and allowance in trusting yourself. Sweet.
It’s hard to turn away business. I know I couldn’t do it right now. But when I get my business more stable I will remember this post.
I know that not everyone is a good fit. It’s taking the time to ask these questions and really listen that makes all the difference. Because in the end we can’t help everyone. The ones that really need us and we are in tune with makes it easier to be successful.
.-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now’s lastest post: The 100-100 Divide =-.
I totally support you in not being so picky right now. And to listen, pay attention, and learn as you go. 🙂
What I love about this post is that your message relates to personal relationships too. Thank you.
Absolutely! 🙂
Great post. I wish there were more people out there who keep the human part of the equation in mind. Thanks.
.-= Alex Greenwood’s lastest post: A_Greenwood: RT @BNIM: Another great review of BNIM’s latest renovation at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, "The American Indian Galleries" featured … =-.
There’s more and more of us! Thanks for your kind words.
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