I want to share with you a challenging, “what’s wrong with you?” email someone sent to me recently. Don’t worry, I’ve removed anything that could identify them.
Dear Mark,
I’ve been following your writings for a year now. As I’ve said a few times in response, your guidance has been an inspiration and a number of your articles have been truly inspiring. I was wondering how the redo of the website could improve what already seemed to be an excellent format.
Today, I opened yesterday’s email, clicked on the clickable, looked at the new website, read your article, and listened to the video.
I’m sorry; something seems off. It’s not that the message is different, but that the expression of it strikes me as not consistent with your Heart of Business message. My sense is that your new approach sticks out as veering from the authenticity I’ve come to anticipate from your presentations–awkward, maybe, at times, vulnerable, definitely, but all the more worthwhile for being genuine.
The current video seems a verbal expression of what I had difficulty with today in your website: a heated, pumped-up message apparently trying to fit into a mode that isn’t your natural expression. And the website somehow seems a tiny bit slick–though I can’t put my finger on why.
This is my impression, of course, and may not be what’s actually going on. But just in case, I thought you should know my response now, before you go off in a direction that anyone in the self-help business may be tempted to go on somewhere down the road.
Isn’t it possible to go to a next level with your business–whatever that might mean–without losing genuineness?
Thank you for your all your wonderful work over the years. I’m sure this is just a temporary jog on the path of genuineness.
My best wishes for your continuing excellence and success,
<signed>
First of all, I was so deeply grateful for how polite and compassionate she was in the writing. She could’ve just slammed me for “selling out” or whatever else she wanted to say.
Whenever I receive an email like this, I sit with it. I really do. If someone is going to go to the trouble and care to write up that much detail, then they must care about me and what I’m doing, so I want to give that attention, even in a busy day.
When I sat with it, this is what I wrote back:
Hi <name>
I very much appreciate your writing, and it leaves me feeling very curious… the website to me feels beautiful, genuine. It’s true it no longer has that DIY “I’m not an artist but I’ll try anyway” look to it, but the beauty of the professional design is done by someone I know here personally in Portland, and I think it’s a work of art that accurately reflects our heart and strength. I’m over the moon with the artwork- I actually cried feeling so seen by my designer. I have such a deep aversion to slick and corporate, I feel so deep and connected to how not slick the website is, while still being solid and well-designed.
As to the video- which video feels “pumped up” to you? There are several of them. The messages in the video are essentially the message I’ve been speaking, writing, and recording for a couple of years now… so I’m not clear what’s changed.
There is a change. Heart of Business is growing up. So that may be some of what you are experiencing- but I don’t believe it’s any change in genuineness.
Ten years ago I felt like a little kid wearing my father’s suit… it took awhile to catch up with the idea that I was no longer an adolescent, but was actually a (somewhat) mature man in my thirties. I think it happened again over the last two years, when I’ve landed in my mid-forties, and catching up with who I actually am at this point. And that includes beautiful artwork, and a more powerful, grounded and clear message, and more clarity and energy in how I express it.
I don’t feel awkward anymore. I love it. 🙂
So if you can be more specific in where you are seeing “pumped up” or “slick,” it would help me understand is it something we missed on, or if it’s simply how I am now.
peace
Mark
I have two things to say out of this email exchange. The first is that I want to encourage you to continue “growing up.”
People may need to shift their expectations and vision of who you are as you grow up into your business. Professional artwork may seem to be a sign of slickness and lack of genuineness to someone, when you know that you are just relieved and grateful to have someone helping you express your vision.
The second thing is that I really do trust you as a person and another heart. If I get a number of people telling me, “Uh, Mark, you seem off course,” that is a huge sign to me to stop, reconnect with heart, and find my true north.
I don’t follow blindly other people’s advice… I still need to find my own heart’s truth. But, I do take it as a sign to start listening more clearly.
Don’t be afraid to grow up, and while you do, let feedback from others be a sign to listen more closely.
Where are you ready to grow up in your business? And if you are holding back from growing up, what’s stopping you?
50 Responses
Mark, at the risk of starting an opinion-fest… I love the new site! And, in fact, I’ve been meaning to drop you a line to say as much. I find the re-do elegant and simple. Bravo.
Thank you, Dene!
Mark,
I love the new site, and I have appreciated the videos, because they make it easier for me to vibrational connect to your field, and that’s a big help. Seeing you on the screen strengthens my alignment to my own heart, and deepens my ability to go into Remembrance.
Thanks for the beautiful site and all the best your your expansion!
Suzanne Lynch
Thanks, Suzanne! That’s a big vote of confidence for the videos- it took me awhile to get into the video thing, and I’m still learning, so I appreciate the support!
Hi Mark,
Your article led me to really think and feel my impression of your new site. I had gotten used to your old site and this was in the way of me really sensing what I felt about your new site. Now I can say that I like the fresh clean look of your new site and I sense your core message is coming through more powerfully. Thank you for what you are bringing into the world.
Fiona
Fiona! How sweet to say! And thank you for taking the time to feel into it.
I think the new design is fine. It makes obvious where the content is and that seems what is most important to me for a blog. And it’s clear how to get to the other pages.
Feedback is tricky. I don’t feel the look is terribly slick – I don’t think anyone would confuse it with those generic health company sites – although I guess the colours are somewhat subdued compared to some sites. If the critic didn’t say anything more it makes it hard to know what to alter (if anything).
Hi Evan- Thanks for your feedback- I’m glad you find it easy to get around, and obvious to find what you need.
My first response to the launch of your website was to LOVE everything about it! — But the person who wrote you put a lot of time and care into giving their honest feedback and doing it respectfully, so I took another hard look. And thank you for modeling how to really receive feedback in our own businesses and lives.
I just finished participating in your Heart of Money Transformational Journey – which I credit with healing my ambivalence towards money and success and with mid-wifing the birth of my entrepreneurial dream, so perhaps the rosy glow biased my initial response. I just now looked carefully, and I listened to the new audio – and I must say, I still love it. It does not seem slick or unauthentic to me.
What does really stand out in comparing the before and after is that this new design and all its content is very clearly a business – but to me it feels grounded, fresh, clear and helpful.
After all, I came to you looking for professional help with my business — and received exactly what I needed to succeed: a deep healing of the emotional wounds that were the source of my frustration. It turns out my business foundation and my skills were fine all along! — This is just my sense of things. My hat’s off to you, your team, and your designer and technical support, Megan
Megan- thank you- very nice to hear that the Heart of Money had such a fantastic effect on you. and thank you for your kind words about the design. It sounds like exactly what we were aiming for.
Hi Mark,
thanks for the encouragement to keep growing, and to do it thoughtfully and prayerfully.
When I first started my own business, I was, frankly, terrified. I wanted to help people and knew that I had the skills – in theory – but in my heart I just felt like a small child. It has taken me a few years to grow into myself and my business, but also to acknowledge that a part of me will always feel that sense of tender uncertainty, and to accept and live with it. And your work, Mark, has been a great help in building that sense of acceptance.
For myself, I am encouraged to see that your website now reflects the simple clarity of your approach to business. Yes, it looks different, and difference takes some getting used to. But I am also inspired by the way your personality shines through.
Thanks again!
Jennifer- you had my same experience! Growing into it, so interesting, eh? And you may not always experience that tender uncertainty in the same way. You may find yourself grounded and strong at some point, surprised to notice that the uncertainty isn’t there, in that place with your business (though maybe elsewhere in your life) at all. 🙂
Hm. Hadn’t considered that possibility. That’s a fascinating idea. Thanks, Mark!
Mark,
I just want to tell you how moved I am by this week’s “notes from the heart” that appears in your weekly newsletter. I always find it such a gift when someone is able to reveal how vulnerable they are and what they’re struggling with. It makes it so much easier for me to have compassion for myself when you share your stories. Thank you for that.
I think you’re very brave for sharing the e-mail you got about the new site and your response–and for inviting comments from all of us.
I love the look and feel of the new site and to me your tag line “every act of business can be an act of love” could not be a more concise or compelling way to describe everything that Heart of Business is and has always been about.
And, I second Megane’s sentiment–thank you for modelling how to really receive (and respond! )to feedback in our businesses and in our lives.
Sending love and gratitude-
Cathy
Cathy- thank you. I’m trying to be real for folks who subscribe to the newsletter. It’s a huge privilege to let me into your inbox, so I want to make it worth your while.
Hi Mark,
Your new site is stunning. Open, warm, loving, creative, grounded. All the authentic traits I’ve come to expect from you and Holly.
Here’s to growing up together…
Sharon
Sharon! Here’s to growing together, indeed.
Dear Mark and Team—the more I read blogs, communication from HoB the more I love you all! I have always said that people are looking for connection. Connection connection connection. They mostly don’t get how to connect with themselves or with Source, so they look outside. But this can be fine because Lightworkers such as yourselves (and me and others) can connect and help them to find their deeper connection. Wahoooooo!!!!!
So heart centered, so loving. By the way, I love it that you share about potty training, etc. because it is real and I remember being there and feeling overwhelmed and just wanting to sleep for 5 days straight. I feel more connected with you the more you are REAL to me/us. My oldest just turned 31, by the way, and I feel a lot younger now than I did back 20+ years ago. 🙂 My children are now my best friend son and best friend daughter…..wahoooo!!
Okay, blathering on and on…..connecting….xxxxoooo to you and your team. If you ever want another connection partner, let me know. I am here in Eugene and would be open to some partnering. See my website and if it speaks to you, let me know. love and light and blessings.
Elizabeth- thank you! Yay! And if you’re in Eugene, you’re practically a neighbor. I’m sure we’ll connect in some way.
The designer in me likes the new look. To me it has the warmth of a cup of coffee with the sweet top-note of cinnamon. The watercolour “New here” badge is beautiful, and such a hand-drawn element stands in complete opposition to the message a glassy bevelled button would send.
So while I respect the letter-writer’s reaction
Coffee with cinnamon, Hamish! What a treat. 🙂 and I’m so touched that you got the Websites program- please let me know what you think.
Mark, I have been a fan, follower and student/osmoser of yours for 7 years. When I landed on your new site the other day, I was delighted to take a look around at the changes. I am mid-stream in the re-design of my site right now, so I looked with a discerning eye… hmmm, what is Mark up to now…
Here’s how I experienced it: I felt a big smile open in my heart, I felt my shoulders drop and settle back. I felt a happy “Yay Mark” feeling. Yes, I see it as a maturing, the business and you broadening, grounding ever more. It feels like you — and it — are taking up your full space.
This is modeling worth osmosing.
I think the new logo artwork is spot-on, a resonant match with you. And reading the new tagline, I felt a hint of tears behind my eyes, resonating with the vast truth of that — that every act of business can be an act of love. YES! my spirit shouted.
And I immediately forwarded a link to the site (and to the Sacred Selling 2-call series) as well as a note saying what I appreciated about you and what you bring to the world of marketing one’s gifts with heart, presence and wholeness/integrity.
Has it been seven years, Claire? That’s amazing- you’ve seen a few iterations of our site over the years. Tears, shoulder-dropping- sounds like we’re on the same wavelength. That means a lot to me. Thanks for sharing the link as well- that’s so appreciated.
I love how respectful, considerate, thoughtful the writer was (as was your response) and that prompted me to immediately head to the new site to see what I thought/felt.
I poked about a bit to see what might bring up any “gunk” for me. Didn’t find it.
I liked how the written website copy next to the video corresponded with the video. I did feel you seemed a tiny bit “stiff” or not as at ease in the video as you are on audio– but frankly I think I do too. Video is hard to be completely relaxed in front of. The message and content and presentation didn’t feel incongruent to me at all.
Guess what’s also true is I really want you to “move to the next level!” I really want you to excel, shine, and magnificate your way through the world. Your message and way of being is what I need to hear.
I’m glad you’re around and glad I have the pleasure of learning from you.
Here’s to loving the differences we all bring to the conversation!
deirdre
I’m resonating with all the comments, Mark.
Hi Deirdre- thanks for taking time to go deep with this- and to check it out for yourself. That means a lot to me, too. I’m getting better and better at video, though! Step by step. And I’m glad you’re here, too.
I love this article because the reality so many people don’t get is when a person’s business (and that person with it) grow, s/he can serve more people and more fully live one’s purpose. Seems we all want that for ourselves and our children, but forget it’s good for each other too! The trade off of growth is that the readers and followers who once had easy(ier) access to that individual often don’t anymore, and they can sometimes feel distanced or slighted or disconnected. I have experienced a bit of this myself as both a follower of others and business owner. By adding more support resources to my business it is not “me” doing everything anymore, when sometimes people think it is or should be. To me, there’s a fallacy in that kind of thinking when growth is desired.
(To those with a small and thriving enterprise and no wishes to grow, kudos and happy trails to you).
This is a wonderful opportunity for all of us in your circle of followers to support *your* growth even if it means we get less of you or need to get used to seeing you packaging the business and yourself in new wrappings. We must also recognize that access to and time with *anyone* is valuable and can be had for the appropriate exchange of value (yes, that’s usually money). It’s also a potent reminder to ourselves not to give away our own value, but instead to cherish it enough to appropriately package and price our services and time so that we too will gather the resources to grow or at least thrive.
Final thing: I like so many love your Notes From the Heart intros to your e-newsletters and often wish to comment on those but there is no mechanism so I’ll do it here – I so agree about “living for the moments of support and love” that come when we desire and are experiencing growth, yet so many people aren’t open to receiving so they stifle their growth. We must be open to both letting go (usually in order to let others do) and receiving to grow. I think there’s a great lesson in your latest Notes about both those things and would love to hear more about your process in those areas as it unfolds.
Your moments with your toddlers are so poignant and certainly take me back (to a time I would not revisit!) with my own daughter. Ah, that period is so bittersweet and yes, messy. Enjoy what you can of it because one day when they are even messier teenage boys you will long for their sweet, sticky, little toddler cuddly selves!
You are more than welcome to comment on the Notes from the Heart here on the blog, Karen- and I’m so glad you love them! I love pouring my heart out into them. And thank you for supporting my growth- that feels just great. So glad we’re on the planet together.
And oh yeah, with as busy as you are I don’t know how you get so much writing done! It’s impressive and inspirational both – here’s to more and more support from your team so it continues.
It’s my job to do the writing, Karen. 🙂 That’s why it gets done…
Hi Mark
I just love getting your emails, and your notes from the heart particularly resonated with me – I have 2 small boys and I know that look (between you and Holly) and remembering to breathe then is quite important!! And while this is all going on it is often hard to have the energy to have the creativity and brain space to ‘remember’ who you are and why you are doing, and you do this! I admire that in you. Life is messy, its remembering to be present in the mess and taking the good out of it that is the magic, otherwise its just a crap time! And just to comment – if ‘poop’ upsets someone, then they aren’t your community.
On another topic I have just received in the mail your ‘Unveiling the Heart of Your Business’ and have just done the Heart and Money exercise. It was incredible, I have been walking around with a big smile all over ever since – what a revelation, simply astonishing – and so very right. Most grateful thanks.
Joy to you
Ang- Thank you for your kind words, and I’m so pleased to hear that about the exercise! It is profound, and glad it was so helpful, and you took the time to let me know.
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Another GREAT example of how your very personal writing is, paradoxically, universally applicable. Well, at least I saw myself in these passages. Thank you!
Craig- I love hearing that- thank you so much.
Ditto to what others have said. Love the new site. I find it easier to navigate, easier to find where I’m supposed to be. And I love the feel of it. too. Warm & welcoming.
Also appreciated your response to the woman who wrote the letter. Compassionate and curious.
To help on the home front maybe you should install rubber floors. Then you could just hose them down for removal of jelly and bodily fluids.
Sharon- Rubber floors! Of course! Sheer genius!
Your phrase “Heart of Business is growing up” hit me so powerfully. The hairs on my neck stood up. Yes, yes, yes! I feel really proud and just celebrate you completely.
I wrote a similar phrase on my own blog post back in 2009 http://youinspireme.co.uk/2009/throw-out-the-baby/ and when I look at how I was writing and marketing two years ago, I see the massive leaps I’ve made since then. (In large part thanks to you & Jason).
Growing up can feel so awkward and bumpy in the process, and yet once you’re in the adult territory, you can look back at the ‘teen’ years with a nostalgic smile.
Here’s to us all being gorgeous grown-ups together! 🙂
With love, as ever,
Corrina
Corrina- well said. Growing up can have growing pains with it, eh?
I found his criticisms to be sort of strange… he’s basically saying that the site is too well-designed and professional looking, and that he’d prefer a more homemade, less sophisticated design and doesn’t want to think of this blog as a professional website. But.. its the same site with the same articles, with a fresh coat of paint. It strikes me as kind of funny that someone would be bothered by a redesign to such an extent that they write that whole email out. It seems to me that he’s reading way too much into your update and finding implications that aren’t necessarily there.
Hi Greg- I don’t think that’s exactly what the writer was saying, and it is a sign of caring to speak up, in my opinion. And yet, I do agree with you- the conclusions the writer came to didn’t resonate with me so strongly.
Well, if you’re a business owner you need to evolve. Sometimes it can be painful to change, but you have to stay alert if your market changes. That’s is not selling out, that’s just growing up.
Mario- I agree, in most cases.
Hi, Mark! I’m new – from the True Purpose community. I celebrate that businesses grow up! I thought I should be as sophisticated as the best of them when I got started, and was frustrated I couldn’t make all the pieces dance together. I’m relieved from reading your blog post is that there is a growing up process. Thank you for opening that door!
Hi Nancy- great to meet you- welcome! So glad our communities get to mix and mingle. And I’m so glad that the “growing up” brings some relief and compassion to you. We’ve been growing up for about ten years, and I’m figuring we’re somewhere in adolescence at this point. It doesn’t pay to hurry the process.
Mark – I like the quiet confidence in your site now, you seem more sure in your videos, more conviction in your voice and this can only come from ‘growing up’ and from a knowing that what you are doing is right. Yahoo! how fabulous!
Hi Ang- thank you for that witnessing- much appreciated! That’s how it feels to me.
As a first-time visitor I don’t have any impressions on the new site. And I very rarely comment. But I must say that as I’m browsing around getting a sense of whether to add you to my RSS feed, this post meant a lot to me.
What an inspirational example of how to be vulnerable. Holy moley, for me to imagine putting out publicly an email that feels a little critical (even though it’s a beautiful and sensitive email), is super-challenging.
Thanks for being such a great example of fearless authenticity.
Hi KP- You are so welcome- and thank you for taking the time to let me know. There are so many blogs, and so little time to comment, it means a lot to me to hear from you.
Hi Mark and everyone,
Just for the sake of balancing out the opinions in the opinion-fest… I have to admit I did like (and still miss) the hard lines of the old site, plus all the testimonials up front and center. Irony is, it felt more professional / “business” to me than what’s been very nicely described as “coffee with cinnamon” in the look and feel of the new site – just a matter of different artistic preference and adjustment to change. I think I’d become accustomed to the old site when I’d take a look at what you were up to over the years I was in school and getting ready to need your services. : )
I’m finally about to publish my Basic-8 website next week (SO excited!). And so am thinking much about the lessons I learned in Opening the Moneyflow last year, particularly how to connect with prospective clients through one’s website. I agree that it’s nice to see your new site matching the Basic-8 more obviously.
But those are just my opinions. My real heart-opening joy in looking at and reading about your new site is that YOU love it and felt validated by the vision of your artistic designers. That YOU feel it reflects more clearly the Oneness behind the message you bring through.
More than anything, I’m just so glad for you! And grateful for all that you are so willing to share with us about how to be in business profitably and with soul-deep awareness intact.
Much, much love to you, hermano.
With beloved greetings to Hollyza and the toddlers, poop and all.
Victoria! So wonderful to hear from you, and I can understand your reaction to the new site, and to your preferences. Thanks for your support, and for the wonderful work you are doing in the world, and congrats on the new soon to launch website! Woo-hoo!
As they say, if we don’t grow, we will die 🙂 You current design is truly captivating, as a new reader, it looks so warm and it makes me wanna search your archives.