A few nights ago my wife and I woke up to the terrifying sound of my son gasping for breath. Long story short, we ended up calling 911, and went to the ER with him for croup. It was fairly easily resolved, everyone is okay, but we were up all night.
The next two days were fairly miserable. Both kids had to stay home, since they were both sick. Holly and I were sick, coughing and sniffling, and exhausted from being up all night. By the end of the two days we were completely exhausted and the house looked like a minor tornado had swept through. At least all the windows were still intact.
We’re all okay, I’m not looking for sympathy. Anyone who has ever been a parent or caregiver knows how tough the job is. The reason I’m telling you this is the simple lesson that no matter how hard it was, I’m not about to give up parenting. I’m going to see this thing through.
You don’t have to lie to your clients to get them to stick with you.
We Love the Quick-Fix
Our culture loves a quick fix. Titles like The 4 Hour Work Week, or infomercials proclaiming “Ten Minutes to Tighter Abs” are so tempting. And for good reason. Given the choice between hard work and an easy solution, who wouldn’t pick easy?
So what do you tell your clients? Do you drop your integrity and promise them easy gains? Or give them the real story, and potentially lose them to someone who will promise them a pot of gold without ever needing to follow the rainbow?
Two Reason You Can Tell The Truth
There are two reasons you don’t have to lie to your clients or give up. One is psychological, one is spiritual.
While it’s true that the quick-fix is one psychological draw, another draw is that human beings love a challenge. If you can challenge someone to take on an adventure, many people will respond.
One of the more popular events in Portland is the Worst Day of the Year Ride. Sponsored by the Bicycle Transportation Alliance, it’s a bicycle ride in February, in the middle of Portland’s coldest and rainiest month.
Thousands of people have a fantastic time turning out for this mess. Although the challenge you’re presenting may not be as fun, you can still connect with someone’s sense of adventure, or willingness to take on a challenge.
And the second reason?
Truth Resonates
I was telling a participant in our Heart of Money class, in response to a question of hers, “I wish I could tell you something different, but it takes 18 months to three years of focus on business development to move a business truly into momentum. You can spin your wheels denying it, or you can focus for that time and see yourself in a truly different place two to three years from now.”
Her response, “I don’t want to hear what you’re telling me, but when I hear you say it, I know it’s true.”
Speaking the truth, with both strength and compassion, has a powerful resonance to it.
You Can Mess It Up
If, when you speak, all you are aware of is the pain of the work and the drudgery, that’s a miserable transmission to give to someone else.
Instead, when you speak the truth, you want to stay aligned in your heart with the hope of what’s possible, as well as what it takes to get there. I know in my heart what I said is true- that focusing clearly, methodically, persistently on business development for eighteen months to three years will put many businesses into momentum.
Let’s practice right here! What challenging truth are you afraid to tell your clients? How can you say it in a way that transmits the hope and challenge of that truth?
Add it to the blog! It would be even more awesome to see a video of you speaking the truth. But regardless, written or video, bring on the truth!
p.s. Needing some hands-on help?
Sometimes a course or group program just isn’t quite the right thing. Sometimes you want something very custom, with the focus totally on you and your business, on your timeline, on your agenda, you.
Yollana Shore and Jason Stein have years of experience as healers and coaches, and have chalked up tremendous successes with their clients. And they are official Heart of Business practitioners, steeped in our approach. To learn more about working with one of them, visit:
http://heartofbusiness.com/training-programs/obd-program-basic/
22 Responses
this so nice and I like it.
thanks that you shared this.
great job.
I’ve gotten to the point where I almost enjoy having this conversation with clients. The one where I say, for what you’re dealing with, if those are your health goals, you’ll need to come every week for 3-6 months. Some people get results faster than that, but I don’t want to mislead you. If you’re willing to (make some changes to your diet, take an herbal formula, do some serious stress reduction…) it will help you get where you’re going a lot faster.
Gulp. Most people aren’t expecting this when they come in. They want me to be able to fix them, without much sacrifice on their part. They may not have budgeted for long-term treatment. They might decide not to come back.
And, it is such a relief to tell the truth. They’re not disappointed or angry later, when they’ve invested a lot already and it’s not enough. They don’t go around saying, after 2-3 sessions, “I tried acupuncture and it doesn’t work”. The people who do choose to keep working with me are realistic, motivated, and appreciative of what I’m doing. And usually, they get better.
I still cringe a little when I lay out a treatment plan, afraid I’ll lose them as clients, afraid they’re seeing me as someone who is just trying to get as much money out of them as I can. But if I stay grounded, I really love delivering the good news: if we do this right, and we’re realistic about it, a tremendous amount of healing is possible.
@Marilyn- Fantastic! I love to hear that. And yes, if you can stay grounded, doesn’t it feel great?
ahhhhhhhhhhhh. what a curative message to read first thing in the morning.
thank you!
…and in response to *notes from the heart*: how to return w. gentleness to our practices?* what i’ve discovered so far, is that *returning* IS the practice. not how many times i wander away or am pulled away by circumstances beyond my control.
@Meg- Yay- glad it was so curative, and yes, the returning is *part* of the practice, absolutely. 🙂
“What challenging truth are you afraid to tell your clients? How can you say it in a way that transmits the hope and challenge of that truth?”
It will take about a year to have a basic organizing system that feels right to you and supports your business. It will take about 3 years to feel really confident about that system.
However, every week that goes by you’ll feel more organized and confident than you ever have before. Setbacks won’t feel as daunting. You’ll start to see evidence all over the place that your systems are working – in how you feel, in how customers respond to you, in how much work you accomplish and more.
It’s a process, but (no matter how long you’ve struggled with disorganization) there’s hope. You can absolutely get there.
(Wow! This feels really great to say.)
@Jennifer – Woo-hoo! I can feel the truth when you write that, Jenn! What a relief for people, I’m imagining, to stop judging themselves for not being “there” already. And I love how you describe the ongoing progress- what hope. Beautiful!
Thanks so much for this reminder, Jennifer. I’m about a year into the reorganising that we started together – and now beginning to see that light at the end of the tunnel is
glorious spaciousness in my office area showering ease on all I do.
Not out of the tunnel yet, but able to see more clearly…
and the can-do feelings are spreading!
The power of words. I didn’t know that my utter fascination with languages and my desire to use words with 4 or 5 syllables in everyday language would have anything to do with my business. But yes, words are so magnetic, so powerful and how we use them with our clients and prospects can spell the difference between transformation and destruction.
My business in 2011 was my best yet. I started focusing on conversations as a means to fill my programs. Yes, I still sent out the weekly email, but if someone wanted to invest in any of my programs, they had to talk to me first.
What a powerful experience. I learned so much from the words people were using. I could sense the energy behind their words through our conversations. Some would say “Yes, I’m happy with my situation,” yet how they used those words told me that they were not aligned. I spoke to some who were on their last 2 or 3 Unemployment Insurance payments and were looking to me for a “quick fix.” I had to turn them away because I didn’t want that frantic, desperate energy in my funnel.
I probably had hundreds and hundreds of conversations with prospects in 2011, but less than 50 people were invited into my inner circle. And these 50 re-invested in additional programs throughout the year, the first time this happened in my business in 5-years. I served less people and made more money because I took the time to have conversations, I was honest about the timing of the desired solution and I didn’t promise anything I couldn’t deliver.
I learned that when I stopped operating from a place of desperation, I started to attract the very people I wanted to work with. I had learned that the only way to find peace and ensure that I don’t attract “quick fixers” was to not be a quick fix myself. What an amazingly freeing experience.
(Mark, I think I found the focus of my article for you)
@Leesa- I can just feel the relief in what you write. So beautiful! And definitely a good flag of attention for anyone wanting to scale large… pay attention here!
This is a great post, Mark (not that they all aren’t ;-)), and still something that I don’t lean into so easily when I think about talking with a potential client. Very delicious food for thought, and Jen and Marilyn’s contributions were very inspiring as well. Stepping out more fully in the world with my book on its way, and while I focus on simple, core practices I also relay the fact that simple doesn’t always equate to easy, and that compassionate effort is always involved in our desire to shift and grown and become our fullest selves.
@Sharon- so glad and thanks! And… I’m curious if you can put what you described as the truth into the words you actually say to someone. I bet your contribution would inspire someone else.
Good invitation…thanks again Mark (and hope everyone in your home is feeling better now).
You can’t do business by telling everything to everybody. Though one needs to be honest with the client, using some word jargons to lure customers doesn’t sound evil to at least me. I personally find a mixture of truth (which will be definitely higher) and some exaggeration is the best way to go with any business.
I’d rather take the challenge knowing how long the road is than start out thinking I’m running a 5k and realize at 3 miles it’s really a marathon! Rigorous honesty is hard but it has never done me wrong.
I love this article. This is SO important. It can be difficult, especially in my line of work as a teacher and voice coach, I have to be very honest about something so intimate – a person’s voice. However, it would be dishonest for me to tell a student they have the potential for X, when I know it’s really Y.
My truth: I tell customers that one ad is not marketing. A logo design is not building a brand. What I do well is listen and engage them where they are in their journey and then offering solutions that are both applicable, memorable, recognizable, creative and aesthetically pleasing when appropriate. I also
Honesty is one of the factor that most of the client wanted too, because honesty bring a positive appearance in a kind of company….
Hi Lacey,
I do agree with your thoughts, because honesty is the the base factor on how good/ best the quality of a certain company…
What a powerful experience. I learned so much from the words people were using. I could sense the energy behind their words through our conversations. Some would say
The persuit of the quick fix to create the ideal life and business leads many down the path of frustration and feeling unfulfilled. When people realise this there is a shift towards seeking out and valuing the folk who call things as they really are. So being real and truthful has become a differentiating factor in business and credibility. Getting back to the truth and reality of what it really takes to create, not just results, but SUSTAINABLE results (and it isn’t quick fixes) makes you stand out in the mediocre world of the quick fix brigade. .
Enjoyed your points.