When I was a paramedic I had a kind of anonymous visibility. My uniform represented a public entity, and when we pulled up on scene lights and sirens we tended to get a lot of attention. Often a crowd had gathered, and all eyes were on us.
Being in business requires a different kind of visibility, one that is much more vulnerable. For one, you don’t have a radio to call for backup. And two, you aren’t a role or an anonymous face of an entity. You are you. You represent yourself.
And yet you still have to be visible. Ooo… that can be scary. Let’s fix that.
Not Everyone Gets a Backstage Pass
Our hearts are tender. If someone’s heart doesn’t feel tender, it’s because it’s walled up and armored over. Too many people probably poked at it when that person was young. Often the most armored people have the most tender hearts. Sad but true.
Being visible means that more people see you. More people to poke sticks at you. More scary.
Except it’s not true. Being visible is not the same as being naked. Tenderness doesn’t have to mean being fully exposed.
In the center of your heart is the Holy of Holies. When different traditions refer to the heart as the House of God, this is what they are talking about. It is a tender, sacred space.
When we’re talking about visibility, we’re not talking about exposing that to the world. That is just for you and Divine. Only God, and perhaps your intimate beloved, gets a backstage pass.
That’s What the Veil Is For
There’s been a lot of noise in Western media about how anti-feminist the Islamic veil is. And I would agree with that if an outside authority is forcing a woman to wear it.
Many traditions recommend covering yourself in various ways, whether it’s a hat or other head covering, or traditional robes. By clothing ourselves in holiness, we make ourselves mindful of the protection our inner selves need so desperately.
By veiling your inner heart from the outer world, you can open it completely to the Source of Love.
With your core infused, immersed, saturated in the power of Divine Love, you can then face the world and be visible… to a certain extent.
Working with a client with this exercise, once she felt the veil over herself, there was a confidence and clarity she felt. She also felt more free to be open-hearted and generous in her business, trusting that what was truly precious to her wouldn’t need to be given away.
Standing Up Fully Veiled
If you’re veiled, what does get seen? Your authentic expression from your heart gets put out into the world. Not your heart itself, but the expression of your heart. Your words. Your videos. Your opinions and expertise and information. Your emotions and your stories.
But not your inner heart itself.
This may run counter to what many people have told you, that you need to have your heart out there. But look at any healthy person in the public eye, and they take care to protect aspects of their private lives, to protect their heart and their privacy. We each need that.
And here’s the great thing about a veil: it’s not armor. Armor is solid, impenetrable (except when it cracks and falls away.) Veils vary in thickness. Veils reveal some of what’s behind them. Light can shine through a veil.
Your heart can shine out into the world through the veil, but without revealing your most tender aspects. You are protected.
The Exercise
This is an exercise partially from the Heart of Money Transformational Journey, and it’s also something I use with clients regularly. The other day I asked a client to try this out, and it was remarkable how she felt immediately afterward, how much safer and more empowered she felt to step into more visibility and leadership.
Take a moment to connect with the most tender, sacred part of your heart. Now ask for a veil to be placed between it and the outside world. Don’t “visualize” or try to make it happen from your own will. Just ask.
Then notice. What do you perceive? Does it feel safer to let go of some of your self-created armor? Do you feel more able to step into visibility.
Spend 3 minutes right now asking for and receiving the Divine veil around your tender heart. And then share your experience on the blog, so others will be inspired to get the same help.
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29 Responses
The exercise revealed one very important aspect. I don’t need the veil anymore. The veil was the reason I didn’t enjoy life the last couple of years. It’s time to let the energy flow again. It requires me to stay grounded and just enjoy life to the fullest. Magic things will happen then.
Antonio- I’m glad you are letting it all down and getting back in touch with your heart! Just for clarity, I am making a distinction here between the armor that keeps us walled off from life, and a much more subtle veiling of the heart’s very core. The difference between castle walls, and having an open door… but not letting everyone all the way into the bedroom.
Hi Mark, great exercise. At first the veil felt soothing, soft, safe. Restful… a comfort and a relief. Then I found myself feeling restless, and wanted to peek out of it. But not just a gingerly peek, holding it wrapped tight around my chin, revealing only the minimum. So suddenly it became a kind of toga, a wrap-around gown, in which I felt free to stride around, speaking my piece, visible yet protected, safe & strong. A wonderful feeling.
Susan- Sounds perfect. And know that in my experience the veil can keep changing, even moment to moment, depending on the needs of your heart and the situation around you.
Hi Mark… this article came at a perfect time for me. I am reaching the stage of my business when I am becoming a lot more visible – particularly after publishing a book – and I stand on the threshold of making a stake for something that is “much bigger than me”. I now no longer have to firefight but how to remain motivated in order to really move into this new space. I came back from running a very successful course – and noticed that I didn’t feel as good as I expected it to be. I have identified it with my coach as resistance – and reading this article I realise it is this feeling of being just too exposed, particularly as an introvert, I am have a tendency to hide away when there’s too much attention on me. In fact this is the very thing my clients so hard – and it is so easy for me to help them move through their fears – so this notion of the veil of safety – which I remember from the Transformational Money Journey has been so helpful for me – particularly given that I both want to be seen and don’t . Even the thought of having a veil between me and the world, enables me to feel more comfortable about being visible – and more able to move forward on my goals and be brave. Thank you deeply
You are so welcome, Claire. And congratulations on your book! Of course you need the veil, in this tender, exciting time.
Hey Mark – such a beautiful explanation of the veil.
I remember hanging around at Dubai airport one time en-route to India with some time on my hands. So I took the opportunity to do some people watching.
There were a considerable number of muslim women with their bodies fully covered and sometimes veiled. These women looked and felt very feminine and attractive in their concealment and flowing dresses. A subtle yet tangible energy emanated from many of them that was truly exquisite.
Then there were a scattering of Western women who revealed much more of their bodies. What struck me was that although there was more flesh on display they did not come across as nearly as feminine as the muslim women. More sexy perhaps – more feminine no.
Something else that comes to me to complete this is that in the Christian tradition the bride has a veil over her face that the groom is allowed to lift once they are wed. So the two teachings appear to be not so very different after all …
with kindness,
Leo
It’s true, Leo- such an interesting observation. And yes- it’s the same tradition, and the same teaching. 🙂
In Chinese medicine the Heart is the sovereign, the supreme ruler of the self that stays inside the inner castle of the heart. The Heart Protector (or Pericardium if you’re using the more biological terminology) is responsible for carrying out the directions of the sovereign, and deciding who and what to allow into the castle.
When the Heart Protector is doing its job well, the boundaries are permeable and one can make fine-tuned, appropriate choices from moment to moment about what goes in and out. When the Heart Protector is out of balance, the heart may be too wide open, or closed completely.
Same heart, different tradition. 🙂
Yes, Marilyn- I’ve always loved how Chinese medicine describes the heart’s role. Dead on. 🙂
Mark – read your newsletter the other day and have been pondering it ever since. Marilyn – swung by to leave a comment of gratitude and discovered your helpful (and beautiful) expansion on Mark’s essay. Thank you to both of you.
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Mollie! I’ve been on both sides, too… please do experiment. I’m curious, as I was with Sonja, what happens for you as you play with it.
Often the feeling of anger or frustration is a tip off for me that there’s something tender in my heart that isn’t getting acknowledged.
The other day I was feeling very irritated with something I read. When I took some time in Remembrance I realized that there was a yearning in my heart to belong that I’ve often felt ashamed or embarrassed to express. Just seeing what my heart was longing to express helped me feel more compassion for myself and eased the anger.
So nice to be reminded that the path is always there if I look for it!
Judy- so nice to see you here! And what a great story… so true for me, too.
Excellent post Mark,
Marketing is all about selling yourself first and then your services, especially when you work face-to-face with customers
mark,
thank you for the fine distinctions you make. as one who has lived overseas, we americans for whatever reasons struggle w. the veils. yet in certain circumstances if we are to navigate well, we need to comprehend that formalities are in place for a reason. we have few formalities here and because of that find ourselves at times in precarious situations which include a sense of *instant familiarity* or our hearts over extended.
what it seems you’re pointing to is the required sense of healthy boundaries. i know that term has become somewhat politically incorrect: i remember teaching a somatics movement class some years back where i was encouraging people to explore the continuum between the closed and open heart. point being both were necessary for navigating the world. while the term *closed heart* didn’t quite get it, people went along for the ride. (lucky me!) i was exploring for myself the formalities acquried living abroad and the seeming loosey-goosey habits of the usa. it was quite an integration process. still is.
your article also brought to mind a book *the educated heart* by nina macintyre. it was written for those in the massage profession but was helpful and nourishing for anyone wishing to be of service and not lose themselves in the process.
Meg! Great story- so funny how we get caught up in language. And I, too, remember from travels overseas the difference between US culture and even European culture. Or, for that matter, between New England and the west coast. Thanks for the book recommendation, sounds great.
Thank you, Mark. This resonates with so much of my personal experience as well as what I see with clients who are often working on their most important (thus tender) work. A few of years ago I came up with a “power stance” to push my arms out in a lunge pose and then circle them to the left and right. A way to make that space and safety without the armor. I’ve shared this in workshops and people love it. Your teaching about the veil is much more nuanced, subtle, fluid–a great addition for me personally and something I’ll share.
Janet- I love the “power stance” you describe. The veil is pretty nuanced- so glad it lends a hand to what you’re doing. Never let it be said that Janet Goldstein isn’t woo-woo. 😉
Hi Mark,
Thank you very much for you post. I like the way you explain the veil. I don’t like the veil much because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Some time I just let my life flow as it is. I think life is no worries, communicating with people and enjoy the life if self!
This post really synthesized for me why I always wear my eye glasses when I’m working. (I’m a writer.) They are actually unnecessary as I need them only for driving, but I knew they made me feel safe and now I recognize that they’re my form of a veil. When I wear them, I feel free to create that expression of my heart because I feel protected. If people embrace what I do, great. If they don’t, that’s OK too because behind my veil/eye glasses, I’m safe, whole, and just doing what I do.
So beautiful, Sonja- I never thought of glasses as a physical representation. I’d be so curious to hear what happens for you if you felt moved to do the exercise I describe in the blog post. It may not be necessary for you, I’m just curious. 🙂
Beautifully stated, Mark. You have such a knack for sharing teachings, I love it. Visibility is becoming more and more of an issue for me in my own quest to create and operate my own business. Heart of Money is also bringing a lot up for me, which is both a bit unpredictably intense and exciting. I keep coming back around to the need for having a clear guiding vision to start with. I have this annoying smarty-pants tendency to skip over things, with a sort of “I did that once before, I don’t need to do it again” attitude. As I proceed further and deeper into my spiritual path, I am growing to appreciate the value of repetition.
Brandi- It’s so humbling, isn’t it? We joke about that in my mastermind group. We’re all working on the exact same issues we talked about years ago, but just at a deeper level. 🙂 And the Veil of Safety exercise is something we go deeply into in class six of Heart of Money, so you have that to look forward to. 🙂
This is so exactly what I needed to read today. Without the right sort of veil, it’s scary to put your business out there in the world — especially if your business is so close to your heart (as, I’m guessing, is the case for everyone here). It feels so good to create this veil that allows us safety while also allowing us to share the parts of us that our clients and colleagues most need.
Hi Mark,
Thank you very much for you post. I like the way you explain the veil. Some time I just let my life flow as it is. I think life is no worries, communicating with people and enjoy the life if self!
Hi Mark,
When I connected with my inner heart, I felt almost like a tender channel running right from my heart to my solar plexus. The inner heart felt very vulnerable, too.
Then I asked for a veil to be placed between my inner heart and the outside world, and immediately that tenderness ceased and I felt fine – connected to the Divine, and safe at the same time. No one but the Divine had access to this sacred space.
This is a beautiful exercise and I will practise this every day as I enter Remembrance.
Thank you. 🙂
Really great article. I really liked the idea of the veil around the heart. Never heard of it before. I’ve been keeping walls up, but I think a veil is what I need. Thank You.
In finding courage, one must consider and think of any potential that make yourself on top of the crowd. One must take the risk to accept any circumstances that may come the way and remember to always lay your hands to our Almighty God.