I was on a call with some folks in the Heart of Business community recently, and nearly every one of them mentioned that there were two things that happened at the same time.
One was that they landed in a multi-week experience of depression, funk, the blues…
The second was that they dropped their daily spiritual practice.
Similarly, I had a client who had struggled with anger, hopelessness, feeling helpless. After a few weeks of commitment to a daily spiritual practice, totally different.
I’ve written a lot about spiritual practice, discipline, and accessing the heart and guidance.
Spiritual practice is a funny thing, because there are so many ways to do it, and it means so many things to so many people. Even within a particular spiritual tradition, there may be a uniformity to how a spiritual practice is practiced, yet the experience extremely individual.
Having a spiritual practice is both simple and complicated. Here are six ground-floor understandings about spiritual practice. And then I’ll go on from there.
- Do your practices.
- If you miss, it’s okay, just get back on it.
- Get support to stay with it.
- Come vulnerable and sincere to your practices.
- It (prayer/meditation/Remembrance) is not a technique, it’s a relationship.
- Enjoy, embrace, accept, surrender to the experience of the practice in the moment, but don’t get attached. It will be different tomorrow/next time/next minute.
Read those and nod sagely. “Ah, yes… of course.”
Now I’m going to meander. My wife would be proud of me. A client was struggling because some of the solutions for her business model I had proposed/we had come up with weren’t that innovative in terms of structure.
The truth is that there’s not a lot creativity in terms of structure. When you’re talking about a service business, there are three basic formats. Individual one-on-one time, group time, and then home study or self-learning formats, written/audio/video. You can create a little more creativity by working with people in person or long-distance (phone, video.)
But, for that kind of business, that’s it. The uniqueness comes from the creativity/vulnerability/ authenticity/power of what you bring, both content and presence.
And then there I was, realizing I hadn’t meandered as far as I thought.
When you are struggling with something, illness, stuckness, business challenges, family crazies, whatever it is, it can occupy a lot of space in your thoughts, oy gevult.
The drama of the situation can make spiritual practice feel boring, useless, not very enticing. The drama takes over. The practice falls away.
The Big Breakthrough
Raised Jewish, there is a mentality of being a “good Jew.” Meaning that you do all the things you’re supposed to do. One of my coming of age moments was realizing that Jewish wasn’t the only path that had that. If you don’t do it right, then, well, forget you, is a common burden many of us carry.
My breakthrough in owning both my Judaism, and then later my Sufism, was in realizing I could do it imperfectly without feeling like I had to turn in my membership card.
Ramadan in the summer is really hard. Long, long fast days make it challenging. Sometimes I failed to keep the fast. Sometimes I miss one of the daily prayer times.
Imperfection is part of the path, because compassion, mercy, forgiveness is what our hearts ache for, and without imperfection we never taste compassion, mercy and forgiveness.
One Sufi teaching says God told us, “I made the human to make mistakes. If you did not make mistakes, I would have created another race who made mistakes.”
Your Experience May Vary
This is kind of a long meandering about spiritual practice, and I’m having trouble coming to the point… and that’s the point.
Don’t let your spiritual practice be too linear. Don’t let it have too much of a goal. Don’t judge it by whether any particular day is good or bad. Don’t judge yourself on how consistent you are.
Don’t look for creativity in the form of the practice. Don’t get crazy or wild with how you do it.
Just keep showing up. Keep meditating, praying, Remembering the One. Keep asking your heart the question, “Is love available even here?” Keep walking forward.
It’s like eating food. You don’t usually make up different meals to eat. There’s just breakfast, lunch, dinner, with a brunch on weekends, and some snacks from time to time. The meals themselves are different. Some are amazing ecstatic culinary expressions. Other times it’s peanut butter and jelly (on gluten-free bread.) Same thing sometimes.
But, if you don’t eat regularly, you get sick. Sometimes you skip a meal, accidentally or on purpose. But eventually you come back to food, or you die.
Don’t let your heart starve. Don’t let the heart of your business starve. Keep eating. Keep eating. Every day, let your heart eat that which it hungers for so deeply.
In the words of my sheikh, “All I can say is love, and love, and love.”
Whew! And you? Your turn… what ecstatic or peanut butter and jelly is here for you? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.
p.s. Maryland and Ohio
One of the things I love most about my spiritual path is that it turns common understandings on their heads. So, for instance, the teaching about sovereignty and strength is really about surrender and vulnerability.
It’s my intention to give you the tools to move through the stages of business development as well as the resilience to handle the changes in topography as you travel in your business. Surrendering into strength, and having a solid way to evaluate your needs based on your stage of development will do that for you.
Which is why I’m teaching a live workshop “Every Act of Business Can Be An Act of Love.” Come get your nitty-gritty business heart on in a beautiful way.
In fact, I’m doing it twice: once in Maryland and once in Ohio.
Click here for info and to register: Silver Spring, Maryland July 14
Click here for info and to register: Dublin (North Columbus), Ohio, July 23
And ask any questions you may have. If you have friends, community, colleagues in either of those places, please spread the word!
13 Responses
Lovely post Mark! I hope you don’t mind I quoted you on facebook, I just had to share your beautiful piece about imperfection being part of the path.
I found myself fully identifying with what you are saying here and at the same time resisting the idea of sticking to our daily “practice” to make it through more comfortably. I’m questioning myself on this, having just come through a majorly uncomfortable spiritual breakthrough period. (I swear something was in the air as it seems there was a universal theme for a few weeks there!) While feeling very tossed around and chaotic “in” it, I felt the need to go into the chaos and experience it fully. Even feeling confused and distraught, it felt important to honor it the process and see it through. While I did do some of my practice, I could have done more but wasn’t drawn to a routine. I certainly had support, but didn’t draw from my normal practice as much as I thought I might have looking back. I’m wondering if sticking to my practices more would have allowed me to surrender or grow as much as I did. With teenagers, it’s useful to rebel (safely) and breakaway from what we know in order to learn our true strengths, become independent and prepared for our next life stage. Could it be similar to break away (or say “fast”, with your eating analogy) from the comfort of our tools or practice once in a while, when we are called, in order to have essential personal growth? Reuniting after with our practices but potentially forming a new more mature relationship that couldn’t have happened if we were more disciplined in the chaos?
I’m certainly hoping my business thrives from the growth Ive received spiritually recently. Thank you for the great food for thought as usual. I’m so grateful for your contribution to our journeys!
Melanie- what a beautiful example of conscious imperfection. Sounds like you made some real choices in the midst of what was true. Very inspiring, and I hear you about not being drawn to routine. It’s a great question.
A great post, Mark, which inspired couple of thoughts (peanut butter and jelly sandwich ideas aside!).
1. The old adage that: ‘We do without doing, and everything gets done.’ The quality of the practice can be a deception. Perfection is a process and not a standard.
2. We may mis our meditation or yoga for the day, but we can practise those principles and teachings in other ways. How we conduct ourselves at work or in the home can be no less an opportunity to experience spiritual awareness than being in a dojo or yoga room. As Dan Millman said, “There are no ordinary moments.”
Derek-so true, both of what you said. I am moved to point out that I started the article with an example not of dropping the practice for a day or two, but getting caught in a depression or funk and unconsciously abandoning spiritual practice for weeks at time. I think it’s an important distinction to make because of how our ego works and can convince us to give up what is good for us in the face of challenge.
How lovely to read this on the day that I realised my connection practice really isn’t an optional extra! And I’d been toying with the idea of a post about how we would never dream of expecting ourselves to feel right without good food etc, but expect ourselves to carry on without other nurturing as if it were optional. And then I read this. Thank you. Can I link to this post? Would that be ok?
Sally- thank you! And of course you may link- any of our posts here are up for linking without prior permission. Link away!
Sorry, can’t spell my own url!
What a wonderful reminder to keep feeding the heart. For my spiritual practice, first thing in the morning is easy. It’s before bed that I struggle to stay awake long enough. So I’m going to use the food metaphor to practice earlier in the evening, with a cup of tea, or warm milk…. and feed my heart to my dreams!
Sounds beautiful, Aditi- I love the cup of tea image. 🙂
Spoken like the spiritual master that you are. With you on all points…thanks for the nourishment, chaver.
Baruch HaShem, takes one to know one, oh sister. 🙂
Hi Mark. With this reply I move officially from lurker to commenter – hello!
I’ve enjoyed your bloggings for some time now, and this one is the one that moved me to write. Your compassionate writings (direct and meandering) about the achings of the heart and weaving together of spiritual practice, business and our humanity are inspiring. I feel so grateful for that – hand on heart and extended to you.
Judy! Thank you so much- so wonderful to hear from you, and grateful for your kind words. I look forward to getting to know you better. It’s not fair, lurking, so I can’t see you. 😉