It’s been a hard year or so. Back in December of 2010 our then-operations manager, Kate, left to pursue a career in counseling. A fantastic choice, and it left Heart of Business with a skeleton crew.
We thought we found a replacement by April. Not so bad, a few months of bridging, and we’re off and running. And Christiane was so helpful- she helped project manage our website launch from conception to live only took us about seven weeks. Crazy-fast.
Yet Christiane, too, needed to move on.
Running at the pace we were, plus parenting, and without the support I needed left me painfully stretched. Although I didn’t know it as I was going through it, one clear decision saved me from extreme burn-out (I was a little crispy at times), and from sending Heart of Business into a downward spiral.
I was reflecting on this after a fantastic, relaxed day with my family this past weekend. Temperatures in Portland were forecast to hit 100F (37C), and the coast looked to be at least ten degrees cooler.
We left early Saturday morning, stopping at what I’d always imagined was a tourist trap along Route 26, a re-created logging camp/restaurant called Camp 18, But after a decent meal we followed the “1/4 mile” rule, which states that in any touristed area you only have to go 1/4 mile to get away from crowds and find something incredible.
We walked along the creek and came to a totally isolated swimming hole, where the boys threw rocks and waded in and out of the freezing water.
Then, eventually back to the car for a great time at Cannon Beach where it was not nearly as crowded as I thought it would be on a hot August Saturday. The 1/4 mile rule got us out of the congestion to find an easy parking space, and then down to the beach, ice cream afterwards, and then back home as the sun set. The boys had a fantastic time, and so did Holly and I.
My Big Decision and What It Revealed
All of that relaxation and fun brought to mind the decision I had made four years ago to “parent first,” and everything else afterwards. Except in rare circumstances, I’ve refused to:
- Work through dinner or into the evening.
- Miss bedtimes.
- Miss important “firsts” with the kids.
- Miss breakfasts and waking up with the boys.
- Work weekends.
The “parent first” decision means that I’ve missed out on some speaking opportunities here in Portland. It means that I’ve let deadlines and opportunities go, rather than sacrifice those five things above.
It means that Heart of Business has developed more slowly than it could have over the last four years.
But there was an even more important revelation: I haven’t been able to cover up a lack of staff/infrastructure with harder work.
We’ve all known or heard of someone who works a job, and does so much extra work that when they leave, the company has to hire three people to replace them.
That person may seem like a treasure, but the truth is that anyone who works that hard, who works at a pace that can’t be sustained for more than a short while, who needs three people to replace them, is hiding costs to the company.
It’s like deficit spending. It’s like running your credit card to the max, pretending you have money that you don’t.
I’m not worried about you not working hard. You’re already a hard worker. I’m worried about you covering up the true needs of your business by deficit-spending your life on work.
I’ve had the opportunity to write a book, which I can’t get to (yet). I’ve had invitations to fly places and speak, and had to turn them down (that was last year, 2013 will be different). I kept asking my mastermind: “Am I just making excuses, or am I really too busy?”
I don’t mind being called on it. But my mastermind, who has called me on lots of excuses over the years, told me clearly, “You’re parenting small children. You’re running a company. You’re getting done what you can get done. You’re at capacity.”
This led me to spend a fair amount of what limited time I had noodling on how to expand our capacity. Praying. Asking experts, people who know what they’re talking about like Les and Terry. Talking to my wife, to my mastermind group. Doodling on white boards.
Lincoln Wachtel, our new Operations Manager, is working out tremendously well so far. Just hiring him brought a sense of expansion and freedom. And then working with him, watching him deliberately, with an easy pace, no panic or rush, come up to speed with us, has been a joy.
Welcome Lincoln! We’re lucky to have you on the team!
Your Business May Not (Ever) Need an Operations Manager
You may not ever get beyond having a little administrative support and an accountant and/or bookkeeper. But there’s an important question here for you anyway.
So many solo and microbusiness owners run themselves ragged without ever questioning their own capacity. It’s one thing to take on a big project with a definite deadline, and do a push for a limited time. We all do that from time to time.
It’s another to have that push be a way of life. If you are feeling that push in your life, you may want to consider:
- What are your top life priorities? Parenting? Health? Where does your business/work/ contribution/livelihood fall on that list?
- Are you priced to truly be profitable? I’ve seen people who need to bump their prices up, because the price they are charging will never allow for a sustainable life.
- Do you need more help? You may think it’s impossible, or not even considered it, but maybe you just need more help in your business. It may be more in reach than you think.
I know there’s a lot of material here, so let’s take it further. Are your approaching, or wading in, burn-out? If you take a moment in your heart, where are you at or near capacity, and what needs to change to become more sustainable? Please share what you get in the comments.
p.s. Working Too Hard for Too Little?
Having trouble making your business work while honoring the truth of your heart? Maybe some hands-on help is what’s needed.
Schedule a conversation with our star practitioner Jason Stein, who has a few new openings for clients. He’s worked with hundreds of folks in all kinds of service businesses, and his super powers include helping you mobilize a community of support around your business, and doubling your income. We’re lucky to have him here at Heart of Business.
I’d mention our other practitioner Yollana Shore, but her client spots are currently full. Although if she resonates with you, you could get on her waiting list.
Check out our program for individual support and schedule a conversation with Jason (or Yollana):
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30 Responses
Lovely Mark, if my father had made decisions like you have about parenting I would have spent a ton less time in therapy as an adult lol. The more boundaries I have around self care, the more work my business brings in. I find theres no rush, all in good time.
This struck a chord with me. I am currently in the middle of unexpectedly increased caring responsibilities for my eldery mother, just when I’m trying to make decsions abut whether to take on work prjects. It’s hard to plan when you’re not sure what time you’ll have! But I started my business as part of realigning my life, including, first and foremost, being able to care more for my mother. I cling to that when the reality is exhausting and difficult to manage. Up there with caring for her, was and is caring for me. I write often about the importance of nurturing ourselves, not so much because we need to in order to care well for others, although that is true, but because how can we give to others what we cannot give to ourselves? In practice it’s hard, of course, and I doubt you found it easy to say ‘no’ to things – unless you don’t do self-doubt 🙂 but it is helping me make my diffiuclt decisions currently, and stay well enough to do it (just!). Thank you for this reminder.
Sally- my heart goes to you in caring for your mother- that is a noble act for sure. And I’ve been known to do self-doubt from time to time. 🙂
Thanks Mark, I appreciate it. I’ve just turned down what might have been a financially lucrative piece of work – possibly the wrong decision (and one I have been struggling with all week) but it felt too damaging to my self-care and my ability to care for mum. We shall see!
Sally- that can be a hard decision! One possibility is to negotiate for what you need- sometimes the work can be more flexible than you think to get what you need. And I’m glad you are caring for yourself.
Hi Mark,
I appreciate the question you posed to consider our priorities. It’s too easy to get lost in the day and not contribute yourself to what you value most. I’ve reworked my priorities and wrote them down as a guide to how to spend my day. Thanks for the question.
A question for you…about raising prices…I’ve been in remembrance over raising my prices so I can live more sustainably. However, I feel conflicted about doing so because people’s income are not going up, expenses are rising, and the overall social mood in the economy is becoming more negative. I’m wondering if you can comment on this, about the need to raise your price more to meet your needs when your client’s income is stagnate or declining in a declining economy?
Hi Nick- great question about raising prices. The important thing here: don’t generalize. Some people are having financial difficulties, others aren’t. Some people can afford it, others can’t. Your right price is your right price. That’s a short answer to a big question. Often there’s more to consider, and sometimes it requires creativity in your business model as well.
I am a big believer that the purpose of business is, not only to provide an income, but also to to serve and support what is most important in our lives. That often poses challenging choices as you point out. But in the long term they are so worth it. Like you, I have chosen for my business to grow and develop slowly as I have a young child I want to be here for, a marriage to protect and health to be maintained. I think part of being at peace with pacing business growth and opportunities is creating my own definition of success based on my core values and using that as my compass for decision making.
Ali- I couldn’t agree more- having your own sense of success is so critical.. and sometimes hard to hang onto.
Mark, sometimes it’s spooky the way you write about stuff about which I’m in some serious discernment.
First the truth: I would really rather have a different reality, thank you.
That said, it is what it is. My gift today is to show up for my health the best way I can. And that means being fiercely radically committed to balance. Work and rest. Content creation and yoga. Serving my clients and naps in the sunshine. Marketing and walks.
It may not be what I want, but it’s what I have. And there’s a jewel in this: I get to deliver these fierce and radical self-care techniques for my own clients, and model this balance for others who may have their own health challenges.
I asked to be of service. Now to just get out of my own way and do that!
Love and light,
Sue
Sue- my reader-cam is working perfectly.. 😉 And I get it about wanting a different reality sometimes. And the Jewel is always found where we’re actually standing, isn’t it?
Mark, your posts are always so timely. I know it’s because of a bit of divine-intervention 🙂
Like you, I have boundaries in my business. My mornings are precious because that’s when I feel a profound connection to God. I pray, dig deep into the Bible and workout before 8am. For that reason, I schedule meetings and my time on social media in the afternoon when all that alone time creates a longing for connection.
Like you, I, too, don’t do work on the weekends and because of my faith, I don’t speak/travel on Saturdays. It means that I miss out on ALOT of speaking gigs because they always take place on the weekends. But I have faith in God that He’ll direct the right opportunities my way, as long as I hold true to my values.
Leesa- so beautiful to have that commitment to God first. Discipline like that can be so nourishing when it comes from love. Inspiring!
Mark, this is such a gift. I’m reading this with a first baby in my belly, wondering how I’ll balance the demands of self-employment and relationship and family and feedings every two hours and and and… and your credo of “parent first” suddenly makes everything so simple. Of course that’s the way to line things up. My shoulders just softened on this topic for the first time in months. Thank you.
Carrie- I’m so glad! As you know, it’s going to be a wild ride, and you aren’t going to want to do anything else at first, except be with your little miracle. And, a lot of satisfaction for you will, I bet, come out of engaging with your business and modeling how to engage with something you love. Part of parenting is, of course, modeling living a life you love. But it can’t be denied that the first years of parenting are all-consuming…
So glad you wrote this, I feel the same and definitely enjoy you on the less crispy side! And congratulations on adding Lincoln to your team.
I agree a business your size definitely needs an operations manager and support team. When I finally hired a VA over a year ago I could feel expansion and relief immediately. Since then I keep offloading as much as I don’t want to/have to be the one to do, as much as I can afford, and that includes in business AND in life (cleaning service, lawn service, etc. – working up to afford a cook LOL!)
Alternatively, I’ve been happy to let certain things grow at a slower pace, by design, rather than burn out.
Quality AND Quantity of time with our most cherished loved ones is important, so carve it out where you can. It may not take a village to raise a child, but it definitely takes a team!
Amen, Karen, amen! So glad you are getting the support, too!
Lovely post, Mark.
So true, Charlie… it’s a big deal. Success breeds it’s own failures. 🙂 I’m just grateful to have such a great community to walk this road with, including you.
I’m so glad you are talking about this Mark. As a single mom and entrepreneur, I talk myself down off the “I’m not doing enough” ledge each and every day. And we homeschool too! My heart knew that my family came first and I can relate to what you’ve said about letting certain things go in favor of others (being there for life’s experiences with growing people). My daughter just turned 18 and is moving to your neck of the woods, Portland. This has been a gradual process over the last year and I’m finding that it is only now, as she takes on more and more of her own independence, that I am able to time/energy/attention-wise turn to some of what I tried to implement in the Heart of Business one-year program almost 2 year ago. But I don’t regret a moment that I chose to be with my “growing people” rather than my computer.
Thank you for coming out and facing what seems almost a taboo topic, when is enough enough? What is this fascination with having/doing “it all”? I still have so many questions and gaps in my own business. In particular, getting over that hump of the money/hiring ratio and the time-to-train/payoff-in-help.
But my current mantra is “I did the best I could today, and my best will be good enough”. I too am taking a new line in my own business and declaring what I want in my business, and setting a more reasonable structure for my day and “longer game” to allow it to grow there.
Deborah! So cool to hear that- both about your daughter, and how consciously you are stepping forward. And here’s to having more space for your business, in a thoughtful, conscious way!
I like the 5 things that you refused to do, these days, with everything moving soooo fast, we tend to forget that we`re humans and push ourselves far too much, It was great reading this after making the decision last week to slow down a little, stop and smell the roses so to speak
Thank you, Mark, for sharing the truths about how challenging it can be for entrepreneurs to stay true to their commitment to family and non-business related actions.
I have heard some entrepreneurs state that work is their life, which I understand, but I believe that there are also some basic fundamentals and foundational pieces that are critical to adhere to before we can add anything else to our plates. For you, you have identified it via your family/parenting. For others, it may be health, others it may be social. Everyone has their own heart to listen to — there is no cookie cutter answer.
When I work with clients to simplify their lives, they often want my quick fix to get their calendar to bubble up onto all of their devices with special alarms, or they want their home “decluttered” and in tip-top working order. But, on the contrary, what we always do first is figure out what is *really* important to them, and build from there. Staying consistent to ones foundation is key — but first one has to soul search to find out what their foundation is all about.
Aimee- too true! Although I have to admit that when the little guys came along, there wasn’t much soul-searching involved. It was just clear that this is what I needed to do. Sometimes it’s just obvious. As they get older and more independent, I think the decision-making will be a little more involved.
The article, I think, is packed with useful tips and insights. I truly liked the point – Am I just making excuses, or am I really too busy? And if you’re making excuses, you should start to get busy as soon as possible.
Thanks.
Mark, thanks for the shout out, and that revelation. Gosh, I needed to read that today! I’m so grateful that we are friends, and I always look forward to our chats. Let’s get another one on the calendar soon!
All the best,
Terry
Terry- absolutely, you’re support and feedback has been priceless to me. We absolutely need to get together very soon- end of August/early September? Tweet me. 🙂
Mark,
That was a beautiful and timely realization. I too have decided “parenting first.” It does not make me popular with anyone but my children and my husband, and that’s as it should be.
Christine- Exactly! The only ratings that count… 🙂
I just read this post and got very teary when I got to this:
“You’re parenting small children. You’re running a company. You’re getting done what you can get done. You’re at capacity.”
While I no longer have children at home, I am still very much learning how to parent . . . ME! Uncovering, discovering, releasing, expanding, stretching into more of the Divine ME and part of that process includes “running a company”.
It’s been a new realization the past few weeks that I *AM* doing what I can and getting what I can get done done. And recognizing my limitations aka boundaries. I too am “at capacity” and it’s finally getting to be OK with me!
Thank you, as always, for your ever-insightful and honest, and heart-felt sharing.
Namaste and Rainbow Blessings!