This article is by our star practitioner Yollana Shore. Yollana co-facilitates our year-long Opening the Moneyflow program and works directly with clients, as well as being an integral part of our team.
“I’ll tell you what I need: tips for having faith when I am running low on money and still working my butt off.”
Straight to the point. This question was asked in a comment on a recent blog post about connecting with potential clients.
My first response was to think about the many strategies we draw on here at Heart of Business, for making more money, or working less hard. But when I looked more closely, I realised that these answers missed the literal and perhaps more interesting question… which was about faith.
This led Jason and I to a deep and meaningful conversation about faith. And it leads me to sharing with you this healing story….
It began with a simple experiment.
I was sitting with a particular client, let’s call her Laura, who had come with a deep longing to heal a certain aspect of her life (just as many entrepreneurs have a deep longing to be successful in their business).
As her healing journey progressed, she became more authentic and vulnerable, getting closer to the original source of healing within herself… And as she did so, all her doubt and uncertainty began to arise. Doubts about herself, her abilities, even my capability… and, ultimately, whether this process would work for her.
This was always a critical juncture for me. Doubt, like confidence, can be contagious. As Laura sank into doubt, uncertainty and hopelessness, doubt and uncertainty began to arise in me too. If I let myself buy into this doubt, if I doubted my own ability to hold a healing space for her, I could easily let the process spin off into a self-fulfilling prophecy that would end with disappointment.
The Power of Awareness
Thankfully, I didn’t do that. Facing that same critical juncture with previous clients, I’d learned an important lesson: I’d figured out how to consistently stay confident in the face of doubt and uncertainty. Sitting with Laura, this little secret allowed me to open my mind to different possibilities in how I worked with her, and to fortify my heart with the faith that allowed her to face her own fear and doubt safely, and let them pass, so she could get on with her real work – healing.
So what was the secret? Well, I chose to believe that every client who came to my practice would leave their session feeling more whole and free than they were before. And they did. In this way my healing practice became a self-fulfilling prophecy, but of the very best kind.
When Laura sunk into intense doubt and uncertainty… and even if I felt myself going there with her… I chose to believe that whatever was happening now was exactly what was meant to be happening in order for her to experience the healing and wholeness that she came for.
This thought was powerful. First because it allowed me be aware of her doubt, and my doubt, without letting it run my game. But also because it required that I see the situation differently. Often, doubt would arise in me because I had a particular image of what her path to healing was, and my client wasn’t fitting that image.
But real healing is not about making other people fit your expectations!
So instead of contracting in doubt, I could bring more acceptance to my client for how she was in the moment and I could bring more openness to the creative possibilities of what real healing might look like for her.
Back to the question
When you are running low on money and working your butt off, it can be hard to be confident that all will be well. Self-doubt will come up. It may even come up strongly. And if friends and family also doubt you, you may doubt yourself even more.
Having Faith is not about eliminating doubt, or somehow suppressing it so that it never arises. Our doubt shows that we’re human. It often shows up when we are stretching beyond what we know, into new territory. And it shows up when our current circumstance doesn’t match our internal image of where we want to be (our own version of ‘success’).
With awareness, it is possible to recognize doubt, and use it as a reminder to:
- Bring some gentle acceptance to yourself. You’re human. And you’re probably trying to do something you haven’t done before.
- Notice where your thoughts are fixed or rigid, and open your awareness to the creative possibilities inherent in your current circumstance.
- Ask yourself – What if I really am on track? What if this is exactly what needs to happen in order to get where I’m going? If that were true… how would I feel and what would I do now?
Even in the face of the most challenging situations, it is possible to recognize self-doubt, and to use the Remembrance or your own spiritual practice, or even call on the support of a trusted friend, to help you step back from the precipice of doubt, and to fortify your own heart with the faith that all will be well (even if “well” doesn’t look quite like you imagined!)
The key to having faith is in recognizing doubt when it arises, and knowing that it doesn’t rule you.
Do you agree? How do you cultivate faith in the face of business or life challenges? Do you have stories to share about when this has worked for you – or when it hasn’t? Comments, questions, challenges welcome…
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22 Responses
Point number 3, really got me…and gaveme the peace I needed to keep moving forward, thank you…maybe, just maybe I am on track….
‘ What if I really am on track? What if this is exactly what needs to happen in order to get where I
I’m glad to hear this, Jenny!
I agree trying to suppress doubt is bad.
So I think it is good to look at it. Maybe you can’t do it – what evidence do you have? If you have failed at this before are you doing something different this time? If not your doubt may well be justified. If it is something new are there similar things you have done? What are the consequences of getting it wrong? You can decide that some risks aren’t worth taking. Just because you parent/coach/religious leader says you should take risks doesn’t mean you need to.
I think it is worth checking in with your original vision and hope. Do you still want this? If you are building a new thing you can’t be certain that it will work – and you can’t be certain it will fail either. Is it possible to take or plan the next step? If so that may be enough.
Thanks for sharing this, Evan. I always appreciate hearing your thoughtful approach to things. Love Yollana
Thank you, Yollana. As if to punctuate and reinforce your message, the next email message I read included the following quote: “The world contains mysteries we have yet to fully fathom. These they may seem strange and even beyond belief. But in time we often come to understand and accept them – as new facts, informing us of facets of the universe of which we were previously unaware, and which, with our new conceptualizations about the world, begin to make sense.” (Dan Benor, MD)
Ahhh… So beautifully said! 🙂
Your post, Yollanda, reminded me of my own struggle with the prosperity message that so many in my tradition, Christianity, buy into. I’ve been studying why the prosperity message, like the laws of attraction, can be so damaging and it centers on what you wrote in your post – that suppressing, ignoring or blocking out the feelings of self-doubt and fear actually hinders our path to healing and breakthrough.
The prosperity message in Christianity (as well as the law of attraction message) teach us that these negative feelings are blocking us from having complete and utter faith, prosperity and success. This is true IF we dwell on these negative emotions.
However, as Evan pointed out in his comments, the negative emotions must be faced with a series of questions. Whether those questions are directed to yourself or to the Divine Connection you believe in (in my tradition, it’s God), I believe that confronting (I don’t like this word, but it’s the only thing coming up) the self-doubt through meditation, prayer or self-questioning is a healthy way to break through what’s blocking us.
Yollanda, I agree that we aren’t to ignore the negative feeling. We aren’t to block them out and replace it with a plastic, pretentious, fake smile. We are to embrace that self-doubt exists, have a conversation with God as we try to work through this block, then lean on Him to help us through this so we’re not having an endless pity party.
Thank you Leesa, you have spoken this so eloquently. Beautiful!
Yollana, beautiful post and perfectly timed! I was sitting with my own doubt about being able to help my downhearted client and then I got to read this!
What a gift, thank you!
Love and light,
Sue
I’m so glad for that Sue…
This post is incredibly timely for me, thank you very much. And I feel similarly to Jenny, point number three has completely shifted my feelings and approach to my situations. Blessings!
Yay! 🙂
thank you very much for breathing. so amazing.
Staying confident in the face of doubt and uncertainty is a big one to master, as you said…doubt is contageous, I shouldn’t blame others but I do find that I start the day off feeling positive and confident, then, when I talk with many negative people, one after the other I find myself changing my view point too
Faith is a big factor for improve the business and to making the money. Always i feel it.
So glad I saved this post to get back to when I had time! Thanks Yollana. I got so much from it. I am writing it down to refer to. I see this happen, the “catching” doubt when I work with women in my groups (or when I did that, my work has shifted recently) but it also fits so well with parenting. Recently my daughter has been struggling with doubt about this move we just made and with the school choice we made and her doubt and pain has been agonizing for me (luckily she is feeling better now.) But one of the things that I tentatively came to and you amplified for me here, is that I don’t have to sink into the doubt along with her. I can allow her to have this process and be there to support her. Thanks again!
Thank you for sharing this, Erika. I’m touched to think about how this can apply to parenting… I’m not sure how old your daughter is, and my oldest is still just 6, but I imagine that especially as kids grow into their teenage years, being able to support them through moments of doubt and self doubt in an empowered way is a very great gift. Love Yollana
And even when the kids grow past their teenage years. I realize, reading this again, how I have joined my daughter in her doubt. How nice to realize that I have tools now that allow me to have her back from a more grounded and loving place.
Love!
Sue
Indeed!
(Sometimes I just wish there was a Like button on this blog. Basically, everyone’s comments on this post have really rocked 🙂 I love this distinction you guys are making in parenting… )
Thanks, Sue and Yollana. What I have been finding most helpful in practice is your third question, Yollana, to look at where my thoughts are fixed and rigid. Meeting this tightness with tenderness and compassion is giving me much more spaciousness to be there for my kids. (I know I keep going on about kids but that is my focus right now as school begins again) My son had trouble getting to his HW in time and I see myself getting all closed down and rigid about how I approach him. I tried a new approach yesterday and things went a lot better. He is 10 and my daughter is 13. She is doing much much better. We are doing a journal together which helps.
Thank you for this. Sometimes it is hard to find faith, especially when you are feeling low. However, it is all about having the confidence in yourself that you can achieve what you want and be successful. It sometimes helps to take a break, and this can even generate more ideas and help you to take your mind off things.
nice clean and great article thanks