Here’s a dream scenario: you have a raving fan client who has colleagues who need the same help you gave him. He offers to introduce you to them and recommend they work with you. Nice!
One of our Opening the Moneyflow participants, Donald (not his real name) had just this wonderful opportunity. The trouble was…
“My client introduced me by email to his colleagues. I then sent an email to them saying if I didn’t hear from them I’d follow up with a phone call next week.
“The next week came and I didn’t want to make the calls. I felt nervous and anxious. I kept telling myself it was just a conversation, and eventually I forced myself to make the calls, leaving two voicemails.”
“What’s wrong with me? Why was it so hard to make those calls?”
Painful, eh? What’s worse, he never heard back from either referral.
He Should Have Been Uncomfortable
There’s been no evidence whatsoever that these two referrals are either looking for help or want to be contacted.
In Sacred Selling, I explain that sales doesn’t exist in a vacuum. That the sales conversation is preceded by the steps of building a relationship of trust. Without the trust and connection, you can’t have a real sales conversation.
Our client was really struggling with self-judgment over making those calls, but here’s the thing: he should’ve struggled. Far from being negative self-talk, his heart was telling him that the situation didn’t feel right.
Donald pushed through and called anyway, and, of course, it wasn’t a tragedy. But he didn’t get the clients either.
How do you tell whether it’s negative self-talk you need to “get over” or a message from the heart asking you to be appropriately cautious?
In a situation like this, two questions to ask:
The Two Questions
First question: Has the person in question expressed any need for help in the area you help with?
Second question: Has the person in question expressed any desire to to connect with you in particular?
If you put yourself in Donald’s shoes, feel the difference between reaching out to someone who has expressed zero interest in what you do or in talking to you, versus picking up the phone to call someone who both wants what you offer and wants to talk to you.
Big difference. I bet Donald wouldn’t have had any trouble calling either of his referrals in the second situation.
How He Could’ve Saved the Situation
Our clients need education. Unless they deal with a lot of referrals themselves, they probably don’t know how to make a powerful introduction. To do so just takes one small extra step on the part of your client.
That step? To reach out to the people he wants to refer, and ask them the two question. Here’s what it could sound like:
“Hey, I don’t know if you know I worked with Donald all last year and he helped me a LOT in the following ways (x, y, z). And, from our recent conversations, I know you are having some of the same challenges I had the year before. I’d love for you to have the kind of results I’m getting. Is that something you need? Do you want me to introduce you to Donald so you can have a conversation? He’s a really nice guy. He won’t pressure you or try to sell you, he’ll just ask questions, listen and let you know if he thinks he can help you.”
If he then hears a “Yes” from his colleague, then the introduction is going to be MUCH more effective.
Let me highlight what was in that introduction. Then, you can ask your clients to say the same things to any referrals.
The Three Elements in a Pre-Referral Recommendation
- His own experience and results working with Donald.
- Empathy for the challenges he sees his colleagues having and his wish for them to succeed.
- A description of what Donald is like and what was involved with being introduced.
If you educate your clients to express these three items to potential referrals, and get permission from them to be introduced, you’ll see a MUCH higher percentage of referrals actually landing. And you won’t spend time uncomfortably chasing people who don’t want to talk to you.
Whew… what a relief!
Are you successful at receiving referrals? Do you educate your clients in any way?
18 Responses
Mark, you wrote, “How do you tell whether it’s negative self-talk you need to “get over” or a message from the heart asking you to be appropriately cautious?” This is something that is a huge challenge for many of my clients and I have many stories of my own!! I got so good at calming my anxiety, talking myself down, not listening to my negative self-talk that I got myself into some big jams. Since then I have learned how to sit with the questions in Rememberance and am learning how to make this suble distinction for myself.
Daina- So glad that this resonated- it’s such a critical point- you *can* get good at avoiding the self-talk, but then you are also missing the subtle (and not-so-subtle) warnings and messages of the heart.
I seem to be having loads of conversations around selling at the moment and how to talk about what you do in an authentic way rather than using techniques to make the sale at any cost and yet of course the same thing goes for referrals! I love recommending people to friends, but they still have to feel the need within themselves and yet they may not realise it completely, so thanks for this Mark as it really helps them to understand why a client is recommending someone to them.
Ann- so glad this was helpful. Authenticity needs structure, too. Otherwise, language wouldn’t have grammar. 🙂
I believe that if those clients really wanted “Donald’s” help they would have come in contact with him first. I don’t think you should have to initiate a contact if they are the interested party.
Jameson- exactly. That’s why I recommended the approach I did.
That is great. I had a load of experience to these referrals hiding. Thanks for sharing these wonderful blog with us.
Love how you really dig deep into the psychology of things in this post Mark, It’s what makes it stand out 😉
Thanks, Aliosha.
You likely already get some referrals if you provide your clients with exceptional service. Social media websites allow businesses to attract referrals in an inexpensive and far-reaching way. Asking for referrals is another cheap way to market your business..
We always try to put the relationship ahead of the sale. 99% of the time the first question we get asked is about price, to which we answer: We have no idea. Let’s talk more about your business so we can better understand about you and what you’re trying to accomplish. Enjoyed your post; very thoughtful.
Loads of emotion in here, Mark.
First – the attempt to produce a referral from the client is a “nice gesture.” That’s what it is. An effort to get gratitude. It’s meant not necessarily as a literal referral, but a compliment that may work out, or even a show of connectedness. It could even be a way to get more attention. (Pay more attention to me because I have mega-referrals.)
The other thing – we need practice making calls. I make 15-25 every day. 90% of them are just “hi, hey, what can I help with” calls. I don’t often leave voice mails. It takes roughly an hour, and some of my lifelong connections, referral sources have come from this. My job is to make friends, and if I make sales, that’s great.
Victory is having done it, not the results. The process. If I’m in this situation, here’s what I’m saying:
“I’m Chris Johnson…with Simplifilm. We both got the email. Sam told me to call you. I doubt – very much – that you’re interested in a video….so I won’t sell you one. (diffuses tension).
I have a good network from calls just like this, so maybe you can tell me about what type of connection you could really use, and if I have one of those, I can make a connection from Sam’s effort.”
Long game . I know this: I make 20ish new connections per month. About 35% of my referrals come in from “fresh” connections I’ve made within 90 days. (Now, that’s skewed because I only connect with people that are connections, most of the time it goes nowhere it’s a cordial but brief call that means nothing).
“I have a good network from calls just like this, so maybe you can tell me about what type of connection you could really use, and if I have one of those, I can make a connection from Sam
Also – a phone call is just a phone call. It’s something to do. It’s the equivalent of saying “hi.” It doesn’t mean anything at all. Who cares.
first visit to this blog. interesting and compelling article. will be visiting again.
Great advice, I strongly believe in the importance of listening to your gut. Using your intuition can make a break a sale or getting that new client.
Hi I work in the driving school industry and referrals are the best way of gaining clients, I would also like to add that it’s a bit of a cut throat industry, make the contact as soon as possible otherwise the potential client goes elsewhere, they don’t wait around for long. I’m sure it’s the same in most business but with so much competition in the driving school business it’s getting harder to find and keep clients.
Nice article will take a look around your site for ideas on advertising advice.
I agree that the 1st step in getting sales conversion is to build trust with your clients or potential customers. What would you do if a potential client initially says no to your offer? Thanks for sharing your tips here.
-Francen