Recently my wife fractured her pelvis, and yes, she’s still laid up in bed for a few more weeks, my poor sweetheart. It’s a hairline fracture, and she’s mostly not in pain, but she can’t do much, even so. Oy gevult! If you have any prayers and good thoughts to send our way, we’ll receive them gladly.
This has required us to ask for a lot of help from friends, from colleagues, from our preschool community, to help fill in childcare needs. Because, of course, school is out.
It’s a given that heart-centered business owners care, and that most of us are much happier being the givers than the receivers.
In our six-month program Foundations1: Clients and Money, when the money module comes up and we look at the spiritual energetics of our giving/receiving relationships, the vast majority of participants are always much happier giving than receiving.
I see this pattern in the way the outpouring comes when people ask for help. Lots of people like to give! We ourselves have seen this come our way, which has been amazing and humbling.
Today I’m giving you a challenge that will change your life and your business if you can take it on.
Ask for help before you absolutely need it.
What I mean is this: don’t be reduced to absolute exhaustion, zero in the bank, and scraping in the gutter before you allow yourself to ask for help. Instead, ask for help even if you can open that door yourself. Ask for help even if you could “get by” without that helping hand.
There are three reasons to do this, each one of them enough, and hopefully all three are overwhelming pressure to just ask. 🙂
The first is that by asking, you allow others to give. Because so many people love giving, by asking you’ve given an opportunity for others to feel great about helping you. Seriously. It sounds funny, but I can’t tell you how many times people have told us, “Thank you for asking. It feels good to help.”
The second is that if you ask before you’re at zero, then it’s actually easier to ask. If you’re at zero, you’re probably filled with desperate neediness, which can be a hard thing to bring out into the world. It’s fine to do that, but if you’re not yet at zero, you can ask from desire instead of need, which can feel so much easier. It’s also easier to be unattached to how people respond when you’re not at zero, which also makes it more fun and effective.
The third is the spiritual reality: we’re -always- at zero. We are dependent on help for everything. Our trillions of cells all need to do their thing to keep us alive. The world needs to keep producing oxygen, and rain, and all the things that keep the crops growing and us breathing.
There’s nothing we can truly do alone, and asking for help is really just acknowledging what is already true: we’re not independent in any way whatsoever.
Your business heart assignment this week: ask for help, even with something small, when you don’t *really* need the help, and just see what happens.
The Fun Bonus
As a fun bonus, here’s a simple 15 minute Remembrance meditation to help you ask in your heart from the yearning you already feel. We lead a live 15 minute Remembrance every Monday for everyone in our programs and in our Community (we’re upgrading it! more on that later), but this was too good to pass up, and I also wanted to share it with you.
If you can take 15 minutes, please listen and let it nourish your heart. And if you don’t have 15 minutes, then you really need to listen to it. 🙂
What’s your experience with asking for help? Are you willing to ask for help before you reach absolute zero?
p.s. Get help before you’re at zero
I hear from folks all the time, “I wish I had gotten help two years ago…” Don’t be that person.
Even if you are that person- Lord, I’m that person- don’t let two years turn into four years.
More: don’t even commit to hiring the help- commit to exploring what help is available and whether it’s right for you.
How to explore? Read about our practitioners, and talk to the one that resonates with you most.
Seriously- have a conversation with one of our practitioners, so you can get hands-on, personalized help to get your business going, like now! Take a look, see who resonates, and schedule a no-pressure conversation.
Try it on, see how it feels to get help sooner rather than later. We’d love for you to start having fun and being profitable with your business.
12 Responses
Hi Mark,
Sorry to hear about your wife – sending very best wishes for a swift and complete recovery. Great post too – and yes, I hear you about how asking for help provides others with the opportunity to give. Someone once said that to me and I’ve never forgotten it (I remember I even mentioned it in my book!). Plus, we all need each other, again easy to forget, but so true. As a friend of mine says, ‘we are all the answer to one another’s prayers.’
Leda- thank you! and I love that quote, I forget where it comes from, ‘We are all the answer to one another’s prayers.”
I truly appreciate this post, Mark. So many times I have waited to ask for help until I was at “zero,” and you’re right, it’s often much harder to do from that place. Thanks for this, and I’m wishing your wife a smooth and quick recovery!
Jill- so glad it resonated. It’s a practice to catch it early, though, isn’t it? Thanks for your wishes.
Sending lots of love to you & Holly & the boys! Whew! Prayers for peace and healing are being sent…if there’s anything I can offer remotely, please ask! 🙂
As I listened to the Remembrance, I saw that there was a beautiful place for me to surrender and ask for help – slightly before hitting zero. And this place of asking may open up a whole new place of love and connection in my marriage! WooHoo!
Kamala- thank you! And I’m especially happy to hear how the Remembrance helped open up a potential in your beloved relationship. So inspiring! Hear that, folks? I’m so curious what other people find from the Remembrance.
Prayers and good thoughts to you and yours, Mark… hang in there!
Thanks for all you do.
Thanks, Anne!
I’m getting better at asking for help and staying on my side of the fence 🙂
I’m glad Holly is mostly not in pain.
Me, too! And yes for staying on your side of the fence and still asking!
Thank you for your blog about asking for help. I thought of it as I miscounted my change and was 3 pennies short at the self-checkout. I didn’t want to use my debit card for 3¢ so I asked the checkout monitor if he had any. He put in a nickel and was so glad to help. Then, on my way out the door I found a penny on the floor. Felt like a sign from the Universe. Asking for help has been one of my lessons and I definitely should do it more frequently. I don’t know why we feel we need to carry all the weight ourselves.
Valerie- what a great story- it’s these little steps that can illuminate larger patterns and help make big shifts. Thanks for sharing it!