I’m writing this from a really cute AirBnB studio in Victoria, British Columbia, where I’m presenting at the Bellyfit Summit in a few hours. I love Victoria, and Canada in general, which isn’t really a surprise since I live in Portland, Oregon, which happens to be Canada’s 11th province (or so I’ve been told.)
In my travels through Canada this past week, I have been meeting face to face with entrepreneurs of all kinds, including Bellyfit instructors, architects, massage therapists, body talk practitioners, and clinic owners. What a joy!
The main message to myself, to others, that seems to resonate so strongly is that if you’re struggling with business and with money, you aren’t broken. Trust your heart.
In one of my sessions, a woman asked about how to enroll clients in a situation, not of her control, that gave her literally 5 minutes to talk to them. The relief on her face was palpable when I told her that the situation was not reasonable. Then all of us in the room gave her some great ideas on how to make it better.
Better, but still not ideal.
Your business situation may not be ideal, I’m sure it isn’t, and that’s the way of the marketplace today. We’re all holding hands, bringing love, and working to make business a healthier, more life-affirming experience.
And in the meantime don’t mistrust your heart. But don’t turn away from business either, because we need all of us to keep walking in love.
Article: Saying Goodbye to An Old Friend
Back in 2004 I started to assemble the worksheets, workbooks, and pieces of writing that had come out of me as I was integrating business knowledge with the Sufi teachings I had learned over the previous 4 years.
Then, from that wealth of raw material, I wrote Unveiling the Heart of Your Business in about 4 months.
It was a huge accomplishment, and one I’m proud of. What’s more, thousands of copies have sold over the years, and people are still buying it, because it’s still relevant.
The trouble is that it’s time to say goodbye. Why?
Why Get Rid of Winners
I was talking with a workshop participant, and letting her know that she needed to start saying “No” to opportunities. In the beginning, when your business is just getting started, you say “yes” to almost everything, for two reasons.
One reason is that you need the opportunities, so grab everything with both hands. The other is that you’re probably experimenting, seeing which clients, which venues, which connections work, and which ones don’t. You don’t know yet, so you try them all.
As your business gains momentum, your time starts to fill up. If you keep saying “yes” to everything then you both start overwhelming yourself, and your business starts to feel scattered.
Similarly with offers. Things you created in the beginning of your business that were perfect at the time, just aren’t right anymore for a number of reasons. Don’t be afraid to place them in your archives and move on.
The Spiritual Reason for “No”
In spiritual circles there is often the idea that we need to be saying “Yes” and that “No” is too negative. However, in Sufism, there is a phrase “La ilaha illa’llah!” which translates as “No! There is nothing but the One.” It starts with a very emphatic “No!” because before we can see Oneness, we have to say “No” to illusion.
If an opportunity, or an offer, isn’t working anymore, or isn’t right for you, and you keep saying “Yes” to it, that’s saying “Yes” to illusion.
Saying “No!” creates space for something beautiful and in alignment with where you are. (click to tweet).
The Problem with Unveiling
I love my first book, but it’s no longer in alignment with where I am, with where Heart of Business is. For one, it contains way too much. People can easily get overwhelmed taking it all on. For another, it contains the kernels of several of our key programs. Since then, each of those programs has been expanded and fleshed out, but there is still too much duplication, so it creates confusion.
It’s time to retire it. The content lives on in other forms and other places, including some new pieces coming soon. It’s painful to say “No.” Yet, with deep respect, love and appreciation, it’s time.
Thank you, Unveiling the Heart of Your Business. You’ve helped thousands of entrepreneurs. You marked our first six figure year, you marked my launch as a book author. You have earned your retirement.
Through October
It would feel a little too abrupt to just yank it, so we’re going to retire it at the end of the month. If you still want a copy of it, this month is your last chance. We have a limited number of the hardcopy version left, and when they’re gone, you’ll still be able to get the digital-only version through October 31.
Check out Unveiling the Heart of Your Business
I’m curious- what have you retired, said No to, or let go of lately? Or what do you think/know you need to, but are perhaps afraid to? Let’s share in the comments.
31 Responses
Very powerful, Mark.
Ive had months of saying No. Its been really scary but so very very nourishing. Saying No to contact with my parents. Saying No to friendships that arent working anymore. Saying no to toxic behaviour. Saying No to business ideas that are working but scared of the loss in revenue, when in fact, after saying No I earned twice as much in the month as I normally do.
Kate- I think that’s incredible! Months of saying no- scary, yes, but the results are so amazing, eh?
They sure are, Mark, trusting the yes and no in Allah!!!
At first I felt a pang of loss when you said you were retiring your book, then I realised that on the other side of No is something even more glorious!!!
Yes, the pang of loss first, then the gloriousness.
I have to say how sad it makes me to hear that you are retiring the book, but I get it. Its a bit dated. Facebook was barely even a thing back then. But this book I have loaned out several times as I rave about how great it is, taught me so much about putting my business together. About taming my overwhelm and everytime I write a landing page I still dig it out. Its been instrumental in launching me on my path. Thank you so much for writing it and helping me to help others. RIP Unveiling The Heart Of Your Business.
Karen- I know! It is sad, eh? It took a long time for me to come to the decision, and then even longer to actually follow through with it. The good thing to know is that none of the content is lost- it lives on in other places. 🙂
Thank you Mark- for the article and for the book. Your wisdom around saying No and halting offers that have outlived their time is important for me. I find it takes great courage. And you showed me how to honor it’s passing.
And the book! What a gem. It’s like an old friend indeed. It was so helpful to me and I passed it on to so many others. If I touched as many hearts as that book- that’s a life well lived.
Dave- so wonderful to hear your words- thank you! And yes, I hope you, too, can grieve, honor, and then enjoy the passing of offers that are past their time.
Thanks Mark.
The whole idea of saying no and letting go of things is so difficult and almost counter intuitive. But I find that when I do release/let go it is really about trusting and transforming. And letting go opens up space for something new, which can be totally amazing and much larger than I’d imagined.
It’s timely, thanks so much for the reminder not to be stuck in fear, and to listen to my/our hearts.
Connie Hill, author of Money Stories, How Money & Spirit Combine to Create Abundance
Connie- I know! Who wants to let go? And yet… it’s one of the most powerful things we can do. Thanks for letting us know of your experience!
Love this , and I am very happy that I have a copy of Unveiling already… I refer to it a lot….
About “no”. Having meditated on “La ilaha illa’llah!” and also having recently gone through the Referendum in Scotland where there was a “yes” or “no” choice for independence – I have been writing a series of articles on The Power of No.
It is a subject I am really enjoying. Endlessly fascinating, “yes” and “no”.
Claire- I get it! And yes, I was on the edge of my seat watching the decision around Scotland unfold. I’m so curious where that “no” leads to.
I’ve been practicing saying “no” even to things that sound appealing and that I want to do–I find that’s the hardest, and at this point necessary, because there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. I even said no to having won a free week at a yoga studio! (I have my practice, I know where it is going next and had just found the resources for that, and the free week, though lovely, would have been a distraction.) “No” to interesting-sounding work. “No” to casual gatherings that don’t feel just right. That leaves “yes” for a bike ride to the store on a beautiful fall evening, “yes” to getting together with a couple of friends I haven’t seen in way too long, “yes” to travel to help my aunt celebrate her 90th birthday, “yes” to the sort of meandering research that will make my current research-writing-and-teaching project be better than it would otherwise be.
Deborah! It’s so hard to say No… until you compare it to the Yeses you can say. I love your lists- thanks for sharing them.
Thanks for this piece, Mark.
As a musician, it’s tempting to do the same old songs that people love even if they feel stale. My wife and duet partner are in the midst of deciding whether to reorder a CD title or let it go out of print. Your words are now part of that conversation.
Congratulations on the success of your book and the open road ahead for fresh material.
Hi Richard- that’s lovely- so happy to be a part of it. In your conversation, you should know that all of the content in Unveiling lives on in other products/offerings, or will. None of it is being junked. Most of it has been expanded, or moved.
Thank you for writing about how you look at your book now – feels was though it is an ancient wise text that has led to many other and different wise texts which have their own messages to be said in their own ways. What yeasting came from one book!
I would like to add my own thanks to those of others for the richness of the material in the various courses. And more than the training that taught me to drop into my heart so that I can say something, do something from the right place. This is especially important at the moment with some major changes in my work where I’m saying ‘no’ and ‘letting go’ so that things can flourish elsewhere. Thank you, Mark.
You are so welcome, Anne- and thank you for your kind words. Ahhh…
Mark,
We are chuckling – my husband and I – here at our house, because your post has such serendipity for us. A few weeks ago, we made a (scary!) decision to retire two of our 4 programs. I found comfort in your words because you beautifully explained why we made this decision – so thank you for sharing your story.
This year, it became very clear that my writing a new program every year was overwhelming my customers, my business and myself, and that it was time to
let go. It wasn’t working. One of my mentors, Dr. Gordon Neufeld, talks about how growth can only come when we come to rest – when we stop doing what doesn’t work and feel the futility of, “No. This doesn’t work.” This stopping and the rest that follows is what leads to new life, to possibility, to the growth of spring after winter.
Intellectually, I know this. I’ve experienced it myself through many journeys of futility. And yet on a heart level, when I’m in the midst of the futility and letting go, as I am right now, it’s so vulnerable for me. The only way I can bear it is through connection. I have to reach out – both to Divine Love and to my loved ones – so they can hold me in this space of futility, so I can walk through to the other side.
Interestingly enough, the quality that arose for me this week is Al Mu’id. Ha – just what I needed!
Thank you for all you do. Blessings on this program that touched my heart, and on you and your work, Mark.
Warmly,
Karly
Karly- so perfect! For me I had a particularly fertile period of program creation between 2004-2009, where a tremendous amount was created. And then the creation energy turned to something else. I so wonder what that creation energy will go to once you let program creation rest. 🙂
I have to laugh, because this fall I have been saying “yes” to many things that I think I will ultimately say ‘no’ to later (or perhaps say ‘no’ to things I don’t think I’d ever say no to!). I’m saying “yes” (to presenting my art in my first-ever art show, to performing on stage again, to marketing my children’s fantasy novel) because I’m curious. I’m curious to see how what seem to be many scattered threads (harp & story performance, illustration, writing, healing artistry, nature connection …) can fold into mixed-media expressions. So, my art show will have stories and questions to go with the art and (hopefully) lead the viewer into a musical, magical world of their own. I’ll offer harp & story during my opening as a way to help us all move into seeing our world through the eyes of magic.
But I’ve certainly had a long stretch of “no” — and anticipate that that will come to pass again.
I’m one of your many fans of UNVEILING. I love, love, love it, and am glad to have it to turn to. And I understand that it’s time for you to let it go, for the reasons you expressed! Congratulations on making that decision and taking that stand for yourself and your business.
Blessings!
Jane
I love that idea of saying no and being okay about it. This summer I finally started saying no to doing so many different things in my business and started focussing on one area, which then expanded. I’m sure you know how that goes. I have to make decisions constantly with handouts for my classes–what is relevant, what isn’t, what can be left out that I thought had to be there before.
Permission to say no is a wonderful thing.
Good for you that you have decided to let go of a book that no longer works for you. The fact that you can do it better now, that the information is available elsewhere and in different forms is helpful. And it means your work has grown and evolved, like my beloved plants do.
Exactly, Iris! 🙂 Woo-hoo.
Mark-
I own a copy of “Unveiling…” and have loved it since I got it. And you are putting things from it in other offerings. Still it is sort of the ‘seed nursery’ from which creation happens.
This year I let go of my home of 37 years- the place I raised my 6 children. There are many great memories from there that we talk about often. The truth is many of my children have families of their own now. They couldn’t all come with their children and fit anymore. It was excruciating to leave, but I with help I did. Now 9 months later I am creating something new- in a new home on my own.
I have been caring for someone since I was 13 years old. Now at least, in my home, I care for just me. The change is welcome. Was not sure how to care just for myself but I am finding out. My business is about helping people care for others….. something I know well.
Now I have room to expand and allow the Divine to guide me. I’m so happy I found Heart of Business a few years ago. I would not be building my business if that had not happened. Thank you.
Mary- such a beautiful story of letting go and moving into the next stage. 6 kids then empty nest! An amazing transition… I’m honored you’ve been around us for quite some time.
What a great piece here!
As a parent in mid-life, I have had to say “no” to many things, like going to do my regular practice at a dojo, visiting certain events that were dear to my heart, and most recently the most difficult one, saying goodbye to an old form of my business… gulp. I went back and forth. It’s so beautiful. So powerful. So needed. And people still ask for it!
Sigh. I’ve let it go because my gut and my heart and my spirit just said, “No. Time to move on and evolve into the next chapter of your life.” At first it looked completely different (serving sensitive men instead of mostly female helping pro’s). I miss some of my old clients. I wish them the best! Many have become dear friends (reassuring).
And so the journey of growth continues. My new business seems now like a young teen, vital and needing time to come into it’s fullness. But, at the same time it has the wisdom and the experience of everything I have done and that I am within it. It is better fuller, deeper.
Thanks, Mark, for Sharing your experience and opening up this question.
David- what a fantastic story- inspires me! Thanks for sharing it. And rock on! And yes, lots of things parents can’t do, eh?
Thanks so much for bring up this topic of saying NO. I came to the transition of having to say NO to a lot of things a while back, and had to do a mini in-home retreat during Ramadan to understand there were even more NOs, and then what to say YES to. It became clear to me that I’m no longer going to do in-person workshops, as the huge stress of trying to make it all happen was too much. This allows me time to write my book and get my info product out, and focus on speaking gigs for my private healing practice. That’s still a lot, but it’s workable. Saying that NO has given me breathing room and much more ease.
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Sumaya! So wonderful to hear you making such a heart-felt and powerful choice for yourself. So important, eh?
AAaaah… Thanks again Mark.
Everything you share makes me feel so GOOD and SAFE in life. Always like a message from a true friend.
You are so grounded, down-to-earth and wonderful. Not Guru-ey 🙂
This may be the oddest thing you’ve ever heard, but you and Howard Stern are 2 voices in my life that make me feel this resonance of heart centred truth. And the fact that you take the time to respond and connect to people here just proves all of this even more. And, of course, saying NO is great and empowering, thanks!!
Kimberlee – I will say that I’m surprised to be compared to Howard Stern. 🙂 And I’m very touched by what you shared- thank you for your kind words!