“Today’s article is from Steve Mattus, our Director of Education and Community Manager. Plus, his clients love him. I’ve worked alongside Steve as he’s faced some huge challenges, and he’s come through them with grace. I’m so grateful he’s sharing this article today. With love, Mark”
Here is Steve’s article…
A couple years ago, I had a week of severe depression. I’d been depressed before, but never that depressed. This particular time, I was stopped in my tracks, as if I had been overtaken by a dark storm cloud of debilitation. I was able to eat some, but generally, all I was able to do for days and days was to lay still. And sleep. And cry. I cried a lot.
After about 4 days of this came a day when I had an appointment or two, and I really needed to get my act together. I was still so debilitated.
Starting and running a business is hard work. Some days and weeks it feels so hard that seems impossible. “Success” seems elusive and we often hear catchy phrases like hustle, up-leveling, pushing edges, dynamic growth, etc. all focused on us doing even more. It’s hard enough to make a go of it day to day… add severe depression into the mix, and my spirit quickly made a descent into what felt like a dark hell.
There is, however, a huge energetic difference between working hard and trying hard. I want to share the experience which brought me this lesson and how it’s served me in my relationship to my business – and life. I believe it might really be supportive to you too.
I did the only thing I knew to do in such a lost and helpless state, and that was to do the Sufi practice of Remembrance. I sat on my meditation cushion and mat, in front of my spiritual altar, and I began the practice.
Deep breathing. Noticing. Connecting to my heart. Calling out to the Divine through the open doorway of my heart.
And I sat there.
And sat some more.
Until I said angrily, under my breath, “Where are you?” I was asking the question to the Divine, because for days, I’d felt so abandoned, so lost, so helpless, so forsaken.
Much to my surprise I received a “reply” somehow, somewhere deep in my heart, “I’m here.” It wasn’t an auditory response – it was a felt response – like I could hear it with my soul. I’m not one to be quick to believe I’m receiving response from the Universe… but this clearly wasn’t me.
After taking a breath, I curtly responded, “Where have you been?”
The response was, “Right here.”
I was becoming more and more frustrated and resentful every second and I retorted, “You’re here now, but you haven’t been with me this past week. Where were you?”
“I have been here. I’ve always been here.”
I burst into angry tears saying, “Fuck you… you have not been with me this past week, during my depression.”
“I was there.”
“HOW? How were you there? I never felt you. HOW were you with me?” I said with indignant anger.
“I wasn’t with you during your depression.”
Now I felt like I was being played with and my anger grew further saying, “You just said you were. Which is it, were you with me or weren’t you? How the fuck were you with me in my depression?”
And the response was, “I wasn’t with you during your depression…. I was the depression.”
In that moment, the cloud of despondency, helplessness and debilitation resolved itself into form and was unleashed through me in the form of tears – a massive, massive flow of tears for the next 10 minutes. There was a great energetic releasing.
When I was able to speak in my heart again, I asked, “Why? Why would you show up that way for me? Why would you do that?”
“Because you wouldn’t listen any other way. You haven’t been listening.”
“Why so strong? Why so long? Why so hard? Why?”
“Because you wouldn’t stop any other way. I needed you to stop until you were ready to hear me and listen.”
“What the fuck do I need to listen to? What are you trying to tell me that’s so important?”
“You don’t have to try so hard.”
“What?”
“You don’t have to try so hard all the time.”
And without further explanation, it all became very clear. Those words were reflective of how I was being in the world for the past eight months to a year – maybe my whole life. I truly believe the Divine had shown up – stopping me in my tracks, so that I would listen and learn the lesson:
You Don’t Have to Try So Hard
My whole life, not only have I had a stellar work ethic, but I always added a whole bunch of other shit to it. I added:
- Pressure
- Perfection
- Neediness
- Attachment
- Sensitivity
- Expectation
- Resistance
- Overachieving
- People pleasing
- Insecurity
- Powerlessness
- etc., etc., etc.
As I said at the outset, it’s one thing to work hard and hustle… it’s another thing entirely to work hard with the added pressure of doing it “right,” the addiction to perfection, the need for approval and recognition, sensitivity if it wasn’t received, insecurity if there was a lack of communication. BLAH!!!! It’s exhausting just writing about it.
I want to invite you to examine what you’ve been doing lately. Take a few minutes and do the following:
- Write down a list of the top 10 things currently on your to-do list (you can define “top 10” however you like). Include things that seem easy and things that really challenge you.
- Next to the task, write down if the task is actually difficult to accomplish (e.g.: running a 2-minute mile) or, if it feels difficult to accomplish (e.g.: addressing conflict).
- If it feels difficult to accomplish – check in with your heart (or the list above) and see if you can determine what you’re adding to the task that makes it feel so difficult.
What you identify in step number three of the list above is the stuff that we all work through, push through, and with which we try so hard and it’s this stuff that I was guided to let go of. It’s this stuff that I encourage you to let go of.
I still have to actively practice this. Take this blog post, for instance. I hadn’t written it for quite a while after I told myself that I wanted to. I sat down to write it several times and it never got written – despite the fact that I was trying really hard to give it birth.
Why was it so hard to do, and why was I having to try so hard to do it?
Using the process above – this is what it looked like for me:
- The task: Write a blog post
- Actually or Feels Difficult: Feels difficult
- What am I adding to the task? Perfection – I have to do it right or not at all. How do I make sure people like it? What if they don’t? Who am I to write this? What if this isn’t helpful? I probably won’t be able to articulate it clearly. What if it’s too long? Is this really a good lesson? Etc.
I have been adding a lot to this blog post. What I was adding – all the trying was making me miserable – and in the meantime, it wasn’t getting done.
Until I remembered the lesson, “You don’t have to try so hard.”
And (due to my extensive practice following that guidance) I let go of everything I was adding to this otherwise simple task. I know how to write. I am a good writer – not the best, and definitely not perfect – but I’m a good writer. I enjoy writing. And some people will like it. Some won’t. That’s okay. This has been one of the big lessons of my life – of course it will help others. And, who defines “right” and “long” anyway? Let it be what it is. Done.
And so… here it is. This article is done.
Whenever I feel my being tighten up and my stress level increase, it’s my trigger to stop, look at what I’m doing and remind myself, “You don’t have to try so hard.” And in almost all cases, it suddenly gets much, much, much easier (and fun).
And so, my questions for you are – if you’ve done the exercise above – what are you adding to your work, tasks and life that cause you to have to try so hard to accomplish them? For what can you can give yourself permission to “not try so hard?” What can you let go?
I’d love to hear your responses in a comment below.
Love,
Steve
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Heart of Business Community Update
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Steve Mattus, our Director of Education and Community Manager posted a new video addressing the questions, “Where are you placing your attention, and how is that impacting you?”
Check it out here: http://heartofbusiness.com/community/
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It’s our private, secret group only for Community members- no one else can see it. Here are some discussions happening right now:
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These are just 2 of the many discussions happening every day in our active, compassionate group! Don’t yet have access? Click here.
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p.s. Season change!
It’s September! With the change of seasons (fall for the northern hemispherers, spring for those Down Under) can come a real change in the pace of life. And any time life pace changes, it can throw you off track.
Not only that, you may realize, Holy Moly, the year is 75% through- wow!
Two things to consider:
1) Hands on help with one of our individual practitioners- Steve, Jason, Yollana, Lincoln, or Mark. Getting individual help is a bigger financial commitment, and it has the benefits of being extremely focused on you and what you need. It’s not always the best choice, but when it IS the best choice, you can really fly far and fast.
Take a look and see who you resonate with best.
2) Don’t know what you need? Get a Readiness Assessment. It’s free and we seriously love doing these with you.
You tell us a bit about you and your business. You watch a video so you can gain some insights for yourself about where your business is. Then you get on the phone or Skype with one of us and we talk to help you get clear about what you really need. It’s fantastically helpful.
For a Readiness Assessment click here.
With love,
Mark, and the rest of the Heart of Business Team
89 Responses
Hi Steve. Thank you so much for sharing that insight. Really helpful and very interesting. Will certainly think differently about certain tasks from now on. Yours Kirsten
Hi Kirsten! Thank you! You’re so welcome.
Steve, great article, I was actually thinking about you today, about what you said *I am the depression*, thats always stayed with me and has really changed the way I see aspects of myself. Aspects is a nice way to say it lol
Hi Kate! ha ha ha…. yeah… “aspects”…. that works. Glad this has been helpful to you too. 🙂
WOW! This helps, definately. Thanks a lot, that you got this article done! 😉 It´s exactly that “attachement” that has been stopping me for weeks. Not an accident, that I´m stumbling across your story at this moment. 😉
Really happy to hear this, Uli! So grateful you found this. I hope putting this to work for you will help you move forward with less trying. 🙂
Just incredible Steve. Deep gratitude for sharing your inner work so openly and with so much transparency. I deeply identify with everything you went through and I am currently working on the same issues that you listed….that are still keeping me internally paralysed but that I also know that there is something very important there besides just healing it and forgetting about it. It feels that there are important spiritual lessons about allowing myself to receive Love, Acceptance, Guidance and deepening my connection to the One and all the other Qualities that I am still discovering.
Hi Daniela! You’re so right… there are HUGE spiritual lessons there… one of the things, as I work with letting go of all the trying, is that everything my heart is longing for – EVERY THING – is right there, available to me. I often find that I can get so focused on the “trying” to get what I want that I completely miss the real blessings that are right there waiting for me. I think this is what people sometimes call, “getting in my own way.” Blessings to you, friend, for all the work you’re doing to open, receive and grow in love.
Ah Steve…you will not be surprised to know( from having answered so many of my questions!) that this really resonated so thank you very much for using your technique to get the post written. It is a message that I seem to be hearing from so many sources. Thank you.
Hi Wendy!
You are so welcome! My ears always perk up when I get similar messages from different sources. I had the same thing happening when this episode of depression hit me – but I wasn’t listening. I’m incredibly grateful now that I was gifted with the depression so that I finally heard the message. I will NEVER forget.
Thank you for writing and sharing this; its arrived at perfect timing. It has had such an emotional impact on me. I resonate so well with your story. I am so grateful to be reminded that it doesn’t have to be such a struggle.
So sweet to hear, Sarah. I really hoping working with this helps you bring in some ease.
I FEEL moist eyes and an opening heart. That’s a very powerful and important story which will stay with me forever. I love the practical wisdom of noticing the difference between actual difficulty and feeling difficult.
Thanks Annamarie. 🙂
I have to laugh at myself because sometimes I ask myself that question – is this actually difficult, or does it feel difficult – and sometimes it makes me angry. I get all worked up and say, “It feeling difficult is ALL THAT MATTERS.” And in a way… it is all that matters… but it alerts me to the fact that I’m bringing/causing the most difficult part to the table. It’s empowering because then I can chose to work with it, resolve it, heal it, nourish it, bring ease back into the picture. Yay!
Beautiful, powerful post, Steve! Much gratitude for sharing your story and offering an accessible way to work with “trying so hard.” That’s a big place of work for me, and your post is indeed helpful.
Your added shit list looks terribly familiar: pressure, perfection, neediness, sensitivity, overachieving, people pleasing, insecurity–definitely add these onto my work, tasks, life.
One way I’m working on letting go, or deciding not to try as hard, is by taking less responsibility for my business partner’s work and what he does or doesn’t get done. This is hard, because we’re in practice together and share a clinic. But trying to force my addiction to perfectionism and trying too hard onto my partner isn’t fair to him and hurts both of us.
Lately I’ve been working with the mantra: “Keep it simple.” For me, this has the flavour of “You don’t have to try so hard.” When I remember to bring it to mind and Heart, it helps.
Thanks Dana. I really hear how being in relationship with yourself AND adding in a partner in life and business…. wow… that can double the muck! Sounds like you have a real connection to the “keep it simple” mantra and I have all confidence that as you continue practicing with that – you’ll see more and more ease come in.
Thanks so much for sharing. 🙂
Waouh! What a beautiful, heart opening post.
Thank you so much for being that honest, really, really TAHNAK you.
It’s so good to read and helpful to see what can be done when in great despair.
And Yes, I also need to read/hear/feel that I don’t have to try so hard.
You’re so welcome, Alexandra – really honored that this landed with your heart and is a source of refreshing nourishment for you.
Wow. What a difference this one lesson could make in my life. Just this one thing! Steve, I’m so grateful that you are using this practice to share this practice with us!
You are so welcome, Chris. It’s been a game-changer for me, for sure!
Great distinction! Thank you for sharing.
Yeah! Glad that resonated, Janhavi. 🙂
Thank you for the reminder. I truly needed that this morning. Blessings ?
Mmmmm….. yes! You’e so welcome! Blessings to you too. 🙂
Thank you Steve…this so relevant for me. I try to hard too! Recently I made a comment that my son overheard–I said “I try to be a good mom.” My 9 year old said “Mom, you don’t have to try. You ARE a good mom.” This was such a deep blessing of a reminder. Thanks for yours…:)
Beautiful, Jenny! What a truth-nugget your son gifted you with. Indeed!
Beautiful vulnerability, Steve. Oh so true, to have Spirit serve us in ways that seem so disconnected from our expectation or perception of what will be nurturing and useful to us. We are One with all of it… even the anxiety, depression, efforting and fragility… and it serves to bring us closer to God and ourselves.
Thank you for sharing.
Much love,
Holly
Hi Holly! Thank you so much. Your comment as well as the others really help reinforce the value of showing up in our vulnerability. You’re right… it does bring us closer to God, ourselves… and others. So honored to be seen this way. Thank you!
good timing for me to hear/read this…I’m riding the edge of being able to listen inside and pushing, and then remembering the pushing is ….what? is it pushing away? not inviting in? hmmmmmm
Ah, yes… so rich, Cathy. Sometimes, it’s okay to push and work hard. Sometimes the hard work and pushing is just that… and sometimes we bring in the stuff that makes it 100 times more of a struggle. That’s the discernment, right? Hard work, vs. making the work hard. 🙂
Hi Steve, thankyou so much for sharing your experience so openly.It was a true gift in feeling not so alone with doubts about being good enough and a lovely exercise in letting the grip of perfection go.Glad you decided to take the risk.
Ahhhh… thank you for the acknowledgement, Sue. Thanks for receiving it and letting me know how it landed with you. Such a gift back to me.
That’ll teach me to write a long post straight into here and watch it vanish because my browser/internet died. Grrh.
(Though maybe there’s a lesson in here for me too, about technology making things harder than they need to be … and to factor that in when estimating how long things will take?!)
I’ll try again.
What I wanted to say was ‘Wow Steve, thankyou for sharing this. It brought me to tears, and I will definitely remember this!
I resonate with your story and notice the many layers of procrastination, ‘what will people think’ blah blah blah, is so tiring!
Is it hard or does it just feel hard – what a simple test!
Such a powerful lesson here – *You don’t have to try so hard*
I look forward to reading more of your wisdom! 🙂
Oh no, Ann! I hate when that happens. Good on you for trying again. Thank you.
I have to repeat this to myself DAILY… it’s so easy to forget. Things can start feeling hard really quickly… and I have to keep returning to this. It doesn’t have to be hard.
My health coach Dana Lyons (who commented earlier) told me in one of our sessions, after I said I was trying hard, “Let’s see if we can find a way to try easy, instead.” Brilliant!
Oh, truly beautiful, Steve. I love your bravery in using honest language online (including swearing :-)!). I found myself thinking — wow, I could never do that — what would dear person 1, dear person 2, dear person 3 say? And then realizing that I’m *still* getting frozen in my actions by wondering what these people (would say/think if I honestly blogged about my healing artistry practice. And that’s why certain things on my to-do list *feel* difficult. Your post is perfect for me today. Thank you so much — and write on!
You bring huge smiles to me today, Jane. I’ll tell you… the swear words were challenging for me – but that’s what was real in the moment, you know? Had I edited them it would have felt inauthentic. And… truth be told… I swear. And I like it. 🙂
As you probably know, there’s not a lot of swearing in Heart of Business blog posts, so I was hesitant to offer this post to Mark. I had the thought, “He’s not gonna like that one bit and he’s gonna ask me to edit it out.”
You know what he said after he read it? “Beautiful.” Still to this moment, he hasn’t said a thing about the swearing (I’m sure because he knows that it was true in the moment and he’s not interested in sugar-coating what happened).
I totally could have let my swearing stop me. And I’m SO glad I didn’t. 🙂
I’m thrilled this was helpful for you. I will write more.
I encourage you to show up fully – no filters – and see what happens.
Thank you, Steve. Your reply to my words are exactly what I need to read today. Heck, I’m in my fifties — all my dear ones over the years have experienced me fully and unfiltered anyway. So why not show up that way in my business now? And trust that the fullness of me gives ground for the unfiltered nature of me :-).
THANKS Steve! Appreciating the kindness, openness, and clarity of your sharing your experience with Divine Depression. What it takes to get our attention, and also the willingness to at some point sit down and really ask ask ask WHAT is this about? And to stick with that questioning til we get a *%#!!! answer! Ahhh… and thanks for breaking it down so helpfully, so that we can learn from your clarity.
Thank you. Peace.
Thanks Amy! It honestly was probably THE darkest few days of my life. So painful. And in that surrendered moment, clarity came in and shifted things forever. I’m so grateful for that moment, and so happy it is useful for you too.
Peace to you too!
Hi Steve, well, by now you can see that it your post wasn’t too long and that people do like it! I was so relieved to have you talk about depression, because I have struggled with it for so long and so intensively. It’s a relief to have someone acknowledge how debilitating it is. I also loved that Spirit let you know it was there with you throughout the experience, something I am learning too.
I very much appreciate your suggestion to look at what is hard and what feels hard, and the why’s of them. I think it will help me to deal with things that get put off and I don’t even know what is getting in the way.
Oh, wow, Iris…. thank you so much. SO much compassion for you (and anyone) suffering from depression. I’ve had it off and on much of my life – this period of it having been the worst ever. It’s so painful and difficult.
Tremendous love and gentleness being sent from my heart to yours.
Thank you for your vulnerability. I needed to read this so badly today. Bless you, bless you.
You’re so welcome, Emily. I’m feeling really blessed for having written it, and all these beautiful comments. I’m so happy it nourished you today. May you be blessed too. 🙂
Dear Steve,
I’m sitting in a bit of awe of Mystery, and timing, and in gratitude for your vulnerability. Your article took my breath away and shattered me – in a good way. I’ll start by saying that as someone who’s struggled with life long challenges with depression, your dialogue – especially the feelings of “Where are you?” – could’ve read like something from my own heart.
For that was the most excruciating part of my depression – the feeling of being alone.
My layers – alll the ways I try so hard, all the ways I try to feel enough, safe, loved, protected, “good,” – all the ways I tried to not feel separate from Love or life – are quite similar to your list, and yes, are there. But for now, I’m not feeling like I need to itemize them. Rather, I feel called to sit in Remembrance about my own relationship to my depression, and with the feeling of abandonment and have a long, good cry, to feel the healing balm that no, I was never abandoned by Love.
With a deep bow of thanks,
Karly
Karly – wow… so humbled to receive your comments. Beautiful and wise to take the time to just be with your depression in Remembrance.
And lastly, I loved that you included all the “fuck yous” in the article. Because that is exactly what I have said to the Divine in those moments, too. The realness of your writing is what made it so powerful. 🙂
Somehow the way you express yourself always resonates with me. Thank you for this pos!. The raw expression of your experience. Yes, the swearing made it real for me in a way that edited versions would not. I love the teaching, “You don’t have to try so hard” – certainly, one that I need – and the attendant teaching that if it only feels difficult it is probably because we have put other things onto it (trying to please, etc). Personally, I feel overwhelmed by trying to pick out the top 10 things on my to-do list. But I will look at things that I am avoiding and that feel too difficult, and look at those as they come up. The biggest teaching for me in this? How you sat and sat and sat with Divine. How you kept being honest in your heart and your words. How you kept going until your heart shone forth with Truth. That is a teaching for me – to sit with the Divine long enough, rather than try to get an answer that will make things feel better and trying to do so within a certain time limit (5 minutes, 15 minutes, whatever). Thank you for sharing your process and the teaching you received!
Thanks Siddheshwari! Love that you’re honoring the overwhelm in listing, and just allowing the things your avoiding to arise naturally – great way to do it.
I’m so happy this resonated for you. Yes… sit, sit, and sit some more… it’s all part of the walk towards Oneness. Much appreciation.
Fantastic article. I did the list and it was incredibly helpful. What a productive way to frame things! I also added to my list an “N” which I defined as not hard at all – just something I have to do. Those things are just time consuming but when I’m bogged down by all the Actually Hard things and the Feels Hard things, all of the sudden the Not Hard At All things can become overwhelming. I decided to just power through those things first and get them off my list. I feel better already. Thanks!
Oh, yes, Cynthia! You’re so right… even the “not hard” things can become hard in the context of all the other stuff going on. Great way to separate those things out. So happy to hear this working for you!!!
Wow Steve,
that was powerful. That the Divine can speak to us that way. Really powerful sharing.
Shelley
Thank you, Shelley. Really appreciate the comment.
Thank you, Steve. Such a powerful story to convey a lesson that I really need to hear too. Beautifully done and lived.
Hi Emily! Well… it’s beautifully done and lived *now* that I’m 2 years into it. It sure didn’t feel beautifully done then. ha ha ha… ugh… it was so messy. I was so messy. And what I continue to be reminded of is that messy is okay. Messy can actually be the best thing ever. And I ask myself… why do I try to avoid messy so much?
I appreciate your kind compliment, and grateful that it was a reminder that served your heart today. 🙂
A beautifully authentic and articulate story Steve. That must have taken a lot of vulnerability to write – but yes, so true. I love what came out of your hard earned lesson and so appreciate you sharing it with us! I’m taking this to heart…well, timed.
Thanks Tabitha! So appreciated. Yay for Divine timing.
Thank you, Steve, for a beautiful article. I am pondering your teaching, and substituting a word for what the Divine spoke to you. I have a chronic condition (migraines), and I’ve not been able to articulate the impact in a way that helps me heal and move forward. Perhaps, the Divine is telling me, “I am the migraine.” If so, it is with me every day, it slows me down, it requires intense concentration (when I can), it demands rest for my body, and it yields results in my work that are beyond what I can do on my own.
Again, my thanks.
Oh, Kathy… wow. My heart goes out to you! You know what…. I have migraines too! Not as many as I used to have, but OH, are they debilitating. Totally knock me off my feet. You too?
Holding you and your migraines in such tender compassion.
What an honest, vulnerable, beautiful and helpful post Steve. Thank you 🙂
Particularly love “Next to the task, write down if the task is actually difficult to accomplish (e.g.: running a 2-minute mile) or, if it feels difficult to accomplish (e.g.: addressing conflict).”
That makes all the difference, I plan to remember that. My friend calls is the difference between ‘the actual thing’ and our ‘relationship to the thing’.
Thank you, Leif! I really appreciate it.
Yeah… the actual thing vs. relationship to the thing. Exactly!
Rock on, brother. So much gratitude.
That you had the guts to share this is impressive, Steve. I’ve been through so many versions of what you describe, I’ve lost count. And yet, it would never occur to me to write about it. All that messy, snotty stuff. Who wants to hear it? Or so I think. Til I hear it. Then I know I wanted to hear it. It breaks down yet another wall to my isolation. I still do reserve my screaming at the divine to cabins in the woods. But by golly it always gets a response. Always. Thank heavens we don’t always have to scream, eh?
Thanks Meg! Yes… Thank goodness we don’t have to scream all the time. So appreciate your empathy. 🙂
Steve, thank you for this beautiful post! For me, things get easier when I remember that I don’t have to do it alone… though I often forget! Recently, I had an experience where I basically “gave up/let go” because I felt I had been “pushing” so hard internally that it was affecting my health/stress levels… a few days later, I got hugely inspired and LOTS of stuff started coming together, in unexpected ways…
Hi Rosa! Oh, yes! Thanks for relating that experience! I find that true too… Right after the finally “letting go” or surrender to what is, then things clear right up. May we both be able to remember the lesson ever more presently in our beings. 🙂
What a wonderful article! Perfect timing for me to access a deeper understanding of my resistance and feelings of being burdened. Instead of just noticing the anxiety I feel, I can see what are the extra hidden agendas I’m trying to accomplish. I can see my patterns of perfection, people pleasing and self-doubt. Also, how I do not embrace fully who I am today but look at myself as more limited.
I was quite touched by your Remembrance practice and appreciate your vulnerability. I am finding it so helpful to have real conversations with the Divine. I love Jacob Needleman’s comment that without acknowledging our real feelings and attitudes, we are “making a religion out of our best moments.” That’s not sustainable.
Thank you for the comment and sharing, Ruth. Rich stuff.
I also am really appreciating the special attention on being real with the Divine (as if the Beloved doesn’t know our truth anyway). I have found being real is the only way to be in honest relationship with the Divine, or anyone, really. Love that thought about being careful about making a religion out of our best moments. Yes! It can feel so difficult to be real… and yet, such a gift when we do.
Thanks for sharing and commenting, Ruth. 🙂
Thank you, Steve! Your words eased my heart, as I’m facing a series of tasks that threaten to trigger my perfectionism. I was even able to smile at my anxiety and remind myself connecting authentically with my audience, as you did in your post, was my true goal.
Way to go, Anne!!! I’m celebrating your authentic connection!
Beautiful and wonderful story, Steve.
I’ve been letting go of almost everything I’ve been trying, not even a website now. Instead, doing my best to follow what calls me, leading to more spiritual studies, contemplation, giving a course at my church on Thomas Merton next month.
Missing HoB, but still in a mastermind group from Moneyflow 2013.
Blessings and love.
Beautiful, Lynne! Sounds like you’re really keeping nourished! And your mastermind is STILL going? That’s absolutely fantastic! Enjoy!!! 🙂
Hi Steve!
I just wanted to say, “thank you for such a beautiful, real, heart touching sharing.” Would it be ok to share your experience with others in my soon-to-be workshops?
either way…sending you a warm smile,
Maritza
Sure you can, Maritza! Feel free to point them here, if they’d like to read the whole story too, if you want.
I am receiving the warm smile and returning it to you in kind.
Steve –
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about a dark time. The line “I was the depresion,” stopped me in my tracks. I have been thinking about it since I read your post. I have the tendency to do the same thing and more of it when I am frustrated and angry. I have found several things that help me in these dark spots. First, I have noticed that God often tells me twice, from two different persons, something he is trying to tell me. I guess I’m not a good listener. Second, when things are going crazy, I find stepping back and taking a deep breath often gives me clarity are what’s going on at that moment. Lastly, and sort of the reverse of your experience, I find the question “Where’s God in all of this?” gets me out of myself and curious again. Thanks again for sharing so honestly.
Beautiful, Tom. Really appreciating your sharing. Yeah… that line stopped me in my tracks too. Whoa!
It’s such a journey… helpful knowing we’re not alone. Sounds like you’re making your way through too! Getting back to curiosity is often the key, isn’t it? Love that.
Thank you, Steve, for your courage in writing and then publishing this. It really matters and it helps me a great deal. It reminds me of the Three Principles work that Molly Gordon has been talking about a lot. It’s not anything in our lives but the thinking about it that gets us stuck.
Now I have to go and write my newsletter that I’ve been putting off for probably the same reasons that you describe!!
warmly,
Erika
Hey Erika!
Thank you! So glad it’s helpful! We do have to be so careful with our own thinking, right?
How did the article writing go?
Just re-read this and was re-inspired. THANK YOU, Steve
With love,
Susan
Thank you for sharing that, Susan! Yay!
Hi Steve,
your article is great, even though. I did encounter few patient that have a similar problem with what you describe and maybe I will recommended this article to him.
Thanks
Thank you!
This is really powerful for me and I’m grateful for you sharing this process.
Thank you, Amy… so happy to hear this. I was really happy to share.
Wow Steve I don’t know how I missed your article but I’m so grateful to have found it now! Wow, what a breathtaking reminder that everything is the Divine, even depression, and that the Divine speaks to us in such an obvious yet subtle way. It also made me think about what I tell myself when I’m happy, which is something like Life loves us, Life wants us to be happy and is happy when we are happy. This helps me feel safe about feeling happy, I guess. But it also speaks to how we are not separate from the Divine. Your article is like a Remembrance for me. Thank you.
Oh, wow, Liz. Thank you so much. I love Remembrance so much because I find over and over again that it really is about remembering what we forget… “oh yeah… it’s okay to be happy.” “Oh yeah… the Divine is here too!” “Oh yeah, Love is available, even here!” “Oh yeah, life loves us.”
How sweet it is to be in Remembrance. 🙂
Steve
I just got around to reading this article and I want to say how much I salute you for your honest. I am, simply, filled with love on reading you.
But then, you already know how much I love you 😉
Dorothy
Awww… thank you, Dorothy! So appreciate hearing this from you. The love is mutual, and I’m touched with your salute. 🙂
Re-read again. Just as powerful…maybe more-so, because of seeing that it’s always the same thing.
Thank you Steve
Wow! Loved this story of your experience Steve. I can relate to so much of it. I think many of us in this coaching / healing world get worn down and jaded by our own (often unrealistic) expectations of ourselves as well as the process of growing a business – as well as having life happen as it does. I’ve been through depression, and often it was just being present with my clients, that got me through it. A beautiful awareness for you in this – just beautiful. Much love.
Hi Steve,
Am really wonder after reading your article.Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience with us.This provides me a new thought about my boring life.Thank you for wake up from my life.
Happy forever…with love