I’m writing this in San Francisco from the Wisdom 2.0 conference- a crazy intersection of 3000 people from the tech industry and those engaged with wisdom traditions.
Before I get into the game I played, I just want to be witnessed at how strange it was to be in San Francisco. I lived in the Bay Area from 1992-2002, first in SF then in Oakland. My wife Holly and I met there. It’s where, in many ways, I became a real adult.
Landing at the Oakland airport brought back such a strange brew of emotions and memories that I was seriously weirded out in a backwash of nostalgia, and ended up feeling 20 years age-regressed. Thankfully, I was able to rent an electric scooter and visit many of my old haunts. I remembered why I fell in love with San Francisco and was able to really go through an integration process coming back into the present.
Still, I have to say there’s this odd feeling in my chest right now, that feeling of being in a place that was home, but not having my home here anymore. Ahhh…
While I stew in my own private brew of nostalgia, I want to give you a game that I usually play when I’m at conferences and similar group events.
It’s a short video, less than 4 minutes. Tell me if you’ve ever played this game before.
Have you played the “Where am I supposed to be now?” game before? What did you notice?
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16 Responses
Mark, just to see you makes me smile, so thanks for making a video. In 2016, my theme is “ayni” which means being in right relationship. I am learning as I go, yet what I know is that the heart’s wisdom, that epicenter of guidance is alive and well. That very question, ‘Where should I be now?” and being open to receive guidance is a learning practice. I keep learning to discern, sometimes failing wildly and more and more being awed by grace in remaining present. Just wanted to comment that your video is so timely and an affirming reminder. Thank you, Mark.
Michelle- So glad for the smile. And thanks for the affirming reflection. Where is “ayni” from?
Thanks for the video. This – I like your idea of calling it a game – game is one I’ve been playing increasingly, discerning not just the big decisions but the little ones. I’ve also appreciated the value of noticing after the fact that I did have a “knowing” that I didn’t want to do something that I had unfortunately ignored. I find that when I follow that “knowing”, there’s often something surprising that happens because I did B instead of A, which is often delightful. It was lovely to have my practice affirmed by your sharing.
Ruth- Yes, the game takes some of the pressure off of the process, eh? So wonderful to have us playing the same game. 🙂
It is so nice to see you Mark. Thanks for making this video for us. I do know this feeling of asking myself really what I truly want to do as opposed to what the main flow of traffic is doing that I can get swirled up in. When I have done that, and let myself follow the flow of what others were doing, at times it was fine, meaning, i was open and it worked. At other times, it felt really off for me because i followed and my heart really needed to be ‘alone’ and in my silence. Just sitting alone somewhere and digesting and assimilating what I just heard. or just being present to my own feelings and nature, (i try and run outside for air and look at trees etc,) it has led me to having a more magical experience. When I listen and not feel grabbed to have to follow, I feel so much more peace inside and then I am much better company to be around after because I filled a deep need of my own for connection with myself and with Source.
Next time, I will call it a ‘game’! 🙂
Thanks, Daniela! Peace from listening and following… that’s my experience, too. Magic!
I’m just back from a conference where I played this game, Mark — both in terms of where I should be and in terms of whether to purchase a particular offer a presenter made from the stage. I was surprised by my guidance a couple times, and am so grateful that I’ve (mostly) learned to trust it!
Nancy- that trust, and what follows, is such a gift, isn’t it?
Hi Mark, I love this video and the heart-led game idea. This is how I try to live all the time, and I love your idea to use conferences as that quick-feedback testing ground for following the heart. Brilliant description of how it all works. Thank you.
While at the same conference, my intuition said go say hi to you and thank you for all your inspiring work, but alas that didn’t end up happening and I do regret it. Lesson learned. Luckily my intuition and happenstance did lead to a wonderful overall experience at the Wisdompreneurs event. Thank you for being you.
Val- Thank you! Yes, it’s wonderful to live this way all the time. I’m sorry we missed each other, and I trust we’ll have other opportunities.
touching to hear Mark and a nice reminded that it can be fun to play with that, maybe in the day to day as well. i played a similar sort of game–i’ve asked where this body is drawn to at a rock show (aka crystals/rocks not music) and a heath conference or yoga show or two. i remember that the question came mostly as a response to feeling so overwhelmed by all the people.! with so many people putting out energy and feelers i often want to focus. Also I have had the experience of semi-nostaligia in at least two places that have been homes but are no longer and it can be a very odd feeling to be with!
Sandra- I love it when we play with what can so often be “serious” topics. And thanks for the affirmation about the strange nostalgia feelings… it is odd, how attached we remain to the past, isn’t it?
Ahhh…bittersweet nostalgia for a past home, past life, past self (not sure whether that rendering fits for you, Mark, but it’s one I know very intimately, and your post brought it to heart and mind).
When I’m in that place (which I sometimes conjure deliberately), part of me wants to linger in entangled feelings of pain, sadness, loss, joy, gratitude, amazement, love. I’m flooded by a whole host of emotions, memories…and even connections to the present…and to my present self. I love it. And it’s a complicated love.
Also…fantastic game–thank you for sharing! I have a huge aversion to conferences and other such gatherings. They overwhelm me and stress me out–even if there are lots of people in attendance who I find truly amazing. It’s just too much at once–definitely has that “supermarket” feel. Your game made me realize that doesn’t have to be my experience. I could go with no expectations of what I need to do or where I need to be…and just ask myself–ask my intuition–“Where am I supposed to be now?”
Thank you! And wishes for an ease-filled return home with plenty of nourishment and rest!
Dana- it is complicated, and I so relished the integration that came in allowing the joy and the grief to intermingle. I fell in love with San Francisco all over again this past week, and yet it’s okay that I don’t want to live there anymore. I’m glad you liked the idea of the game! It definitely helps to manage the overwhelm, especially when I get, “Go to your hotel room and take a ten minute time out.” Incredibly helpful. 🙂
Oh yes, I know this game! I’ve played it many a time at a conference & have been surprised at where I end up: sometimes choosing to plunge right into a session and at other times to walk outside and sit under a tree. The way you present it as a game is delightful and gives it a lightness, a new way of thinking about it. I’m going to remember that next time . . . though mostly I avoid conferences now. Thanks for this very warm and direct video.
Juliet- isn’t it a wonderful game? So surprising and enlivening. 🙂