This is not the most common mistake I see, but it can be one of the most devastating to your business, and it involves partnerships.
I get it, though. Being solo in business can be lonely, it can be confusing, and the allure of having a business partner who can help take care of the parts you don’t like… so tempting!
Beware! Be careful! Slow down!
As concisely as I can, I want to talk about three dangers of partnerships, what is often really going on, and what to look for instead of a business partner.
The three dangers.
1. The “two captains” problem.
This is where two people who have a real affinity for one another become business partners, and yet, because they have an affinity, they don’t have complementary skills. Both are visionary, or both are really good at creating content. Often what’s missing is logistical/details or marketing savvy, something critical.
So… what happens is you now have a ship with two captains, missing critical skills, and needing to create enough revenue to pay BOTH partners.
2. The legal issues rip-off problem.
In this, you go into business with what seem like trustworthy folks, and everyone’s skills are complementary. The business does well.
But then, the partnership isn’t created legally in a way that protects everyone equally. Maybe it’s a handshake. Maybe there’s a discovery later that the legal structure wasn’t sound for some reason.
Disagreements and conflicts arise, and whoever is holding the legal rights ends up with the lion’s share of financial benefit. Despite the “best of intentions” it’s hard for usually unconsciously privileged folks (those are the ones who somehow always end up with the legal rights in their hands) to really do the right thing and share the financial good fortune.
So, lots of hard work for not so much compensation, and ownership stakes get flushed.
3. Not finding the partner.
There’s the feeling of “I need/want a business partner!” but not finding one. This takes up time and energy, both the wishing for and searching for. Meanwhile, the business languishes, certain things are avoided, waiting on the arrival of a partner.
What’s often really going on.
What I’ve discovered underneath the longing for a business partner are often a few different desires tangled together. You may have one, or a few or all of these.
The longing for:
- An actual partner in life.
- Reliable advice/sounding board.
- Consistent, reliable support in what you’re not good at.
- Knowing what to do with some certainty.
- Companionship, no longer feeling lonely on the journey of business.
Every single one of those is a legitimate need or desire. Of course you want those. And NONE is a good reason to take on a business partner.
A business partnership is very similar to an actual marriage, in terms of both commitment and legal binding. You know how divorces are notoriously messy, expensive, drawn-out, overwhelming events? And often both lose a LOT both financially and in many other ways?
Yup, not dissimilar to dissolving a business partnership.
Yes, I know. There are, of course, fantastic business partnerships that really work out. However, going into a business partnership for the wrong reasons is not a great way to support a wonderful outcome.
Things to do instead of a business partnership.
- Attend to your social life. Business can demand a lot and can be overwhelming. Still, only put in a reasonable amount of work each week, and instead make sure your social needs are being met through family, friends, loved ones.
- Find a coach, mastermind buddy, colleague or community. These can help you bounce ideas around, vent, feel connected and clear.
- Hire the support you need. I know, not everyone is at a place where you can get help. But instead of just thinking you never can, I encourage you to start to think about it at least in little ways.
- Just do a single, limited project together. Instead of becoming business partners, just pick a single project to work on together. Don’t even think of it as “testing to see if a partnership would work.” Just work in a more limited scope with someone else, while maintaining sovereignty over your business.
There’s a LOT to be said about business partnerships. If you have been thinking in that direction, I beg you, slow down, be a lot more patient, and try some of these other remedies instead.
Questions? Stories on partnerships gone wrong, or right? I’m so curious to hear!
With love,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.
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12 Responses
These are some great tips. I wholeheartedly agree with the “two captain” problem. A very close friend of mine used to propose a partnership for starting together a web development company time and again but I would politely refuse it everytime. Its because he is also as headstrong as I am, so our ideas would definitely crash on so many things. I foresaw that it would not only make the partnership uneventful but I might also lose a good friend.
When I was a paralegal in family, employment or small business law, I often cried as I read how big hopes could so quickly go wrong. Underneath the facts, I saw a frequent pattern:
1. We get together with great ideas and hopes but don’t take the time to discern what we need to make our dreams work or what to do if they don’t.
2 . We won’t have a plan for how to deal with different ideas or needs. We won’t stand up for ourselves (like ask to see the account books) or ever admit we’re wrong.
3. Rather than tell each other what we really want, we assume that the other will know and do what we want. When that doesn’t happen, we feel hurt and look for someone to blame. Bitter battles often follow.
The pain of working on cases like this led me to find lawyers who create conscious contracts.
Learn more about it at http://www.consciouscontracts.com which lays out this practical vision:
We are an alliance of integrative lawyers with a passion for integrity, purpose and joy in business, law and life.
We believe that legal documents should reflect your integrity by aligning with your purpose, mission, vision and values.
We support power with others, not power over others.
We believe that no one should lose a contract negotiation, that everyone can win.
We create sustainable documents that enhance relationships with clarity of both content and context.
See also Stewart Levine’s The Book of Agreement, which for many years has helped us ordinary people craft brilliant working agreements for any venture.
Wow, Pat, this is a really nice outline. Where I see this applying for me right now, honestly, is with my husband. As we move into a new stage (post-kids), we’re needing to connect in a different way, and we need to up our game in the “communications&interactions” department… Will look up that book.
Great topic, Mark. I’ve been trying out an assistant, and what strikes me is how tasks that I just haven’t been able to take on on my own suddenly become completely fine just because she walked into the room! Even if I’m still the one doing the task, it’s that extra energy that makes everything different. And having her working on my database, files, etc, has also gotten me to clean all that up in a way that I wouldn’t have when it was just me.
The partnership is a risky word and also a risky world to step in. But sometimes it gives mindblowing benefits, Its all about the creativity and efficiency of partners. All warnings are on point. Thanks for sharing.
omg, yes to all of this. I love the beginning on “slow down – beware and be careful”. I started working with a partner that boasted about her manipulation powers. She was taking advantage of clients, lacked integrity and hacked anything she could. Red flags everywhere. Sure enough, she started doing the same things to me. Truly a sociopath and possibly a psychopath. Super brilliant person but super scary.
Great article! Very useful, I do agree that sometimes it’s very much painful to go for a partner in business, its all about luck that you get a good one. A very nice article. Keep up the good work
Hey Mark Silver,
Great content. I am in search for partner for my new business but its been 3 months . I am stilll searching pateintly because these we should be very careful about these things.All your hardwork is much appreciated. Keep up the good work.
It can be difficult to decide whether the partner you choose is the right one for you. If you had the money, would you rather buy an existing business or expand your business with the help of a partner?
Hey, Mark. Of the three dangers of partnerships, I am at this moment experiencing the third. I am in small business internet marketing, just started. I have a friend who is not doing so well in his job. He is good in traditional marketing; doing presentations and all that. I spoke to him a while ago about becoming my partner. Never gave a straight answer, never said no.
Reading this post, I kind of start to realize. I might be going the wrong way. He may eventually agree, but would it be real. No, got to retract! Thanks.
A partnership can be good but it is not for everybody. If you are starting a business, it would be best to go solo. It will not be that hard if you’ll just start from small. Thanks for sharing your insights. You can also read some interesting information here https://selfpublishingmadeeasynow.com/why-do-some-self-published-writers-say-that-book-marketing-is-dead/.
Good artical.Really it is very usefull human life.Thanks writing a good posting.
An awesome piece of content. Though it’s believed this regularly happens outside of relationships, most intimate partners either don’t recognize that they practice it in their relationship, or don’t want to admit that they do. Even the most loving and caring partners regularly use manipulative techniques to get their partners to do things they might not otherwise choose to do. Thank you