Overdosing on integrity

Because folks who are attracted to Heart of Business tend to have very high integrity, there is a dynamic I’ve witnessed many times, including in myself, that actually is not so healthy, and it’s like an overdose of integrity.

It happens in a few different contexts, one of which is when a business owner/practitioner is concerned that they don’t have the training or experience to properly care for their clients.

It feels tricky to talk about, because integrity is actually really important. And, there are many, many instances of people not carrying this kind of integrity, and putting themselves out there with hardly any training or experience, or none at all, and causing harm.

Although it’s rare, there are absolutely times when I’ve questioned a client about whether they have enough training, experience, or accountability to put a particular offer out. Or, I support them in being very cautious in putting out a new thing that they just don’t have the chops for yet.

However. Ahem. <Clears throat.>

There are other times when someone actually has a LOT of experience and/or training, and yet also has an overdose of integrity.

What does an overdose of integrity look like?

One way it can look is when a practitioner learns a new skill or modality, but one that is related to the other skills and modalities they carry. The overdose is the practitioner treating themselves as if they were a brand new practitioner with the new modality, offering lots of free sessions to get experience, feeling like they have to communicate really clearly how new they are at the new thing.

This is an overdose of integrity, because when you are an experienced practitioner, there are lots of skills and experiences that translate into the new modality. An experienced practitioner can pick up a new tool, and get to work with it pretty quickly and pretty proficiently.

Yes, of course there’s still a learning curve. And yes, there is some learning and cautiousness that is prudent in this situation.

But treating themselves as if they were brand new is actually doing everyone a disservice. By communicating how new they are with it, and thinking they have to do lots of free sessions, even after completing the training program and getting the nod from the trainers/certifiers, it undermines the confidence clients have in them.

What’s more, it undermines the confidence the practitioner has in themself. And, when you discard the honestly-earned confidence of experience, it undermines the skill you bring. A lack of confidence creates hesitancy and other reactions that makes you way less effective as a practitioner.

This isn’t the only situation you can overdose on integrity.

There are plenty of other situations where you can hold integrity too highly. There may be organizations, or people, who might give you opportunities for visibility, but you don’t want to compromise your integrity.

It would be easy to come up with situations where you’d absolutely be in the right to turn down opportunities because of the associations.

But… can you imagine situations where you might be tempted to turn down an opportunity because of an integrity overdose, where it wasn’t necessary to turn it down?

Right amount of integrity versus an overdose

So, how can you tell if your integrity just enough or too much? There are two ways to double-check.

The first way is to be really, sincerely honest with yourself.

If you’re making a decision to be careful, or to be in integrity, slow down. Look at you decision. Does it really make sense, considering who you are?

To put it another way: if someone else you respected was making the same decision, would you say that feels right? Or does it feel like too much?

The second way is to check in with someone you respect.

Tell someone you trust (maybe even your business coach or mentor if you have one) what you are concerned about, and what you plan to do to account for that concern. What’s their opinion?

If you are asking someone else, it’s important, of course, that you share values with them, so they are coming from the same integrity perspective. But, beyond that, you also want them to know what you’re talking about, that they are knowledgeable about the context and situation you’re concerned about.

As I said at the outset, this is a tricky topic, because integrity is so critical. In our culture we need more integrity, not less. However, if you overdose on integrity in particular circumstances, you aren’t going to be raising the overall sense of integrity in the culture, you’ll just be harming yourself.

I’m so curious how this lands for you, if it’s helpful, if you see yourself in it at all.

With love,
Mark Silver, M.Div.
Heart of Business, Inc.
Every act of business can be an act of love.

p.s. Next week: The Learning Community opens.